Yesterday I had a breakdown

[Bluerose31]

Have you gotten some kind of therapy for this?

Yes, I meet with a therapist once a week.

 

[ToBeLoved]

Yes, I meet with a therapist once a week.

That's wonderful. Keep up the good work. I think you are confused sometimes, but probably stronger than you think.

And it is just possible that God will use this experience some day to reach out to others in different situations and for you to give His Kingdom much glory out of all that ugliness and pain.

Stay strong and God bless.

 

[AlexDTX]

I was a Christian when I was younger, in my late 20s I became a pagan. After the kidnapping and when I was released, I asked Jesus into my heart. I read the Bible and saw that Jesus was not like my kidnapper, but that he was gentle and kind. I then asked Jesus into my heart. It has still been hard to erase the memories of the ritual abuse I endured, but I am trying to rely on Jesus now.

Well, then, praise the Lord! You are not a sinner, nor do you have a sin nature. Your breakdown sounds like you begin with a works mentality. When you give your life to Christ you become a new creation, old things pass away and all things become new. This statement, however, refers to your spirit, not your soul (mind) or body. God has accepted you as you are. His love for you never changes because it is rooted in his Son, Jesus, who dwells in your heart by His Spirit.

Do not think like the Alcohol Anonymous who say that once you are an alcoholic you remain one the rest of your life. If you an alcoholic pagan, that is true. However, you are not a pagan. You are accepted into the beloved. The works mentality is the thinking of the old man, not the new creature. The old man died with Christ. But the mentality of the old man has to be renewed which transforms you into his life. The renewal of your mind comes by knowing Jesus. The Jesus portrayed by the church system is not the real Jesus. The church system combines the works of the law with the grace of Christ. That is a lie. We are not under the law and never have been if we are not Jewish. We are under the law of Christ, but the law of Christ is not a list of commandments but the very life of Christ himself. Disciples of Christ die to the memories of the past and renew their mind with the Truth of Jesus.

For example, my parents divorced when I was 10 and they were both self professing atheists. My father had an affair with a neighbor of whom he married and fell away from our lives with the exception of visitations. Many years after I became a Christian at the age of 32, I realized that I had never lost my father but he had loved me my entire life. I do not mean the man whose seed was used in my mother's womb. I mean I have had a heavenly father all my life, and in hindsight I recognized the many times his hand was upon me for my welfare even as a pagan. God has always been my father in paternal care, but became my actual father when I experienced the new birth.

This is what you need to do to renew your mind. Those past experiences have nothing to do with the new creature you are now, although God molds and shapes our past to rebuild us as His children.

Another example might help. As a new believer at 32 I told a female friend about an experience I had as a 16 year old. Bored all summer long, I hitch hiked from California (San Francisco bay area where I grew up) to Portland, Oregon and spent a week at a rock concert. I knew my mother was moving and I had already made arrangements to live with a friend so I could continue in the high school I was attending. I came back home at 4 AM in the morning. The house was locked so I broke in though a window. The house was empty of all furniture. My mother and family had already moved while I was gone. There was no note. I had no idea where she had moved. I went to my friend's house where I was going to stay and called my father to find out where my mother had gone.

After listening to my story this woman made a simple observation. That must have been a serious feeling of rejection. The light bulb went on. I never consciously made that connection. I was greatly wounded in my heart by this sense of abandonment. Of course, most of the problem was my fault for leaving without a word. Nonetheless the sense of rejection was still real to me. She advised me to go to our pastor and ask for prayer. He told me he would pray with me after I had fasted for 24 hours, of which I did. As I was about to enter his room, the Lord spoke to me and said, "I make those things that are not as though they are," which is a variation of Romans 4:17. When I entered the pastor's room, he never had a chance to speak for I burst out in tears and wept sorely for 30 minutes or so.

The next day someone insulted me and it was like a slap on the face, but there was no gut wrenching pain that used to occur. I was healed. He makes those things that are not, i.e., happy memories with no bad experiences, as though they are. This is what Christ does for us.
Ask the Lord to remove the impact of those experiences from your life. The memory will still remain, but the hurt will be removed. But notice, in my example, it did not happen with a simple prayer. I fasted for 24 hours and resolved to pray with my pastor.

I hope I have given you encouragement. You are blessed and loved in Christ by God Himself. Believe the Truth, not the teachings of men. Look at your own real relationship with Jesus, and you will see the Truth.

 

[PropheticTimes]

Bluerose31, always remember that what was done to you was done TO YOU. Nothing you endured is against you in the eyes of the Lord, it is against those who did those things to you. You are His precious child and He wants to heal you.

I pray that your heart and mind will heal from this horrible experience. My heart breaks for you.

 

[Bluerose31]

Well, then, praise the Lord! You are not a sinner, nor do you have a sin nature. Your breakdown sounds like you begin with a works mentality. When you give your life to Christ you become a new creation, old things pass away and all things become new. This statement, however, refers to your spirit, not your soul (mind) or body. God has accepted you as you are. His love for you never changes because it is rooted in his Son, Jesus, who dwells in your heart by His Spirit.

Do not think like the Alcohol Anonymous who say that once you are an alcoholic you remain one the rest of your life. If you an alcoholic pagan, that is true. However, you are not a pagan. You are accepted into the beloved. The works mentality is the thinking of the old man, not the new creature. The old man died with Christ. But the mentality of the old man has to be renewed which transforms you into his life. The renewal of your mind comes by knowing Jesus. The Jesus portrayed by the church system is not the real Jesus. The church system combines the works of the law with the grace of Christ. That is a lie. We are not under the law and never have been if we are not Jewish. We are under the law of Christ, but the law of Christ is not a list of commandments but the very life of Christ himself. Disciples of Christ die to the memories of the past and renew their mind with the Truth of Jesus.

For example, my parents divorced when I was 10 and they were both self professing atheists. My father had an affair with a neighbor of whom he married and fell away from our lives with the exception of visitations. Many years after I became a Christian at the age of 32, I realized that I had never lost my father but he had loved me my entire life. I do not mean the man whose seed was used in my mother's womb. I mean I have had a heavenly father all my life, and in hindsight I recognized the many times his hand was upon me for my welfare even as a pagan. God has always been my father in paternal care, but became my actual father when I experienced the new birth.

This is what you need to do to renew your mind. Those past experiences have nothing to do with the new creature you are now, although God molds and shapes our past to rebuild us as His children.

Another example might help. As a new believer at 32 I told a female friend about an experience I had as a 16 year old. Bored all summer long, I hitch hiked from California (San Francisco bay area where I grew up) to Portland, Oregon and spent a week at a rock concert. I knew my mother was moving and I had already made arrangements to live with a friend so I could continue in the high school I was attending. I came back home at 4 AM in the morning. The house was locked so I broke in though a window. The house was empty of all furniture. My mother and family had already moved while I was gone. There was no note. I had no idea where she had moved. I went to my friend's house where I was going to stay and called my father to find out where my mother had gone.

After listening to my story this woman made a simple observation. That must have been a serious feeling of rejection. The light bulb went on. I never consciously made that connection. I was greatly wounded in my heart by this sense of abandonment. Of course, most of the problem was my fault for leaving without a word. Nonetheless the sense of rejection was still real to me. She advised me to go to our pastor and ask for prayer. He told me he would pray with me after I had fasted for 24 hours, of which I did. As I was about to enter his room, the Lord spoke to me and said, "I make those things that are not as though they are," which is a variation of Romans 4:17. When I entered the pastor's room, he never had a chance to speak for I burst out in tears and wept sorely for 30 minutes or so.

The next day someone insulted me and it was like a slap on the face, but there was no gut wrenching pain that used to occur. I was healed. He makes those things that are not, i.e., happy memories with no bad experiences, as though they are. This is what Christ does for us.
Ask the Lord to remove the impact of those experiences from your life. The memory will still remain, but the hurt will be removed. But notice, in my example, it did not happen with a simple prayer. I fasted for 24 hours and resolved to pray with my pastor.

I hope I have given you encouragement. You are blessed and loved in Christ by God Himself. Believe the Truth, not the teachings of men. Look at your own real relationship with Jesus, and you will see the Truth.

Thank you so much for sharing this with me and encouraging me to have my own real relationship with Jesus. Jesus has become my comfort and it makes me feel happy to read how Jesus has comforted you in your life. You have a beautiful testimony. It soothed me to read your story.

 

[AlexDTX]

@Bluerose31

This is an added afterthought. The power of God works through our faith in Christ. It all flows from what Christ did and the promises God has made to us. However, the channel that His power flows through is our faith in God. The baptism of the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in other tongues is available to all born again believers for the asking. What the baptism of the Holy Spirit does is increase our faith in God. We often do not see prayers answered because of our unbelief while we believe. Unbelief is simply believing anything other than what God said. Your real experiences can be a source of unbelief because you know what happened to you. But God makes those things that are not as though they are is contrary to your real experience. I have the baptism of the Holy Spirit and I had it when I went to pray with my pastor. I encourage you to seek it because it makes a difference in your experience of God.

 

[Bluerose31]

Bluerose31, always remember that what was done to you was done TO YOU. Nothing you endured is against you in the eyes of the Lord, it is against those who did those things to you. You are His precious child and He wants to heal you.

I pray that your heart and mind will heal from this horrible experience. My heart breaks for you.

Thank you so much for this tender message. Christian Forums and the compassion here is helping me a lot. Thank you for these words PropheticTimes

 

[Bluerose31]

@Bluerose31

This is an added afterthought. The power of God works through our faith in Christ. It all flows from what Christ did and the promises God has made to us. However, the channel that His power flows through is our faith in God. The baptism of the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in other tongues is available to all born again believers for the asking. What the baptism of the Holy Spirit does is increase our faith in God. We often do not see prayers answered because of our unbelief while we believe. Unbelief is simply believing anything other than what God said. Your real experiences can be a source of unbelief because you know what happened to you. But God makes those things that are not as though they are is contrary to your real experience. I have the baptism of the Holy Spirit and I had it when I went to pray with my pastor. I encourage you to seek it because it makes a difference in your experience of God.

Thank you for this encouragement I will look into the baptism of the Holy Spirit with my pastor. Thank you for sharing that with me.

 

[PropheticTimes]

Thank you so much for this tender message. Christian Forums and the compassion here is helping me a lot. Thank you for these words PropheticTimes

You are very welcome.