Would you marry a woman who was a former stripper or X-rated star if she turned into a Christian ?

[Ignatius the Kiwi]

As far as I can tell, no one here is saying that any Christian has to marry any other Christian. The whole locus of this thread, also as far as I can tell, has mainly been to exemplify a proper answer to the question: "If I wanted to, would it be ok to marry a Christian woman who was a former SW?"

And that was it. But here thus far, it seems tangents in this thread have been introduced and gotten out of hand, devolving more or less it into a needless "contest of rights."

I would have thought so, but some here seem to have a genuine problem with promiscuous people being rejected romantically

 

[IcyChain]

I said at the beginning of the thread that it's simple, but it's not easy.

What is simple but not easy? The std test?

 

[RDKirk]

What is simple but not easy? The std test?

It's not easy to avoid adding moral judgments to sins Christ has already forgiven.

 

[IcyChain]

It's not easy to avoid adding moral judgments to sins Christ has already forgiven.

Yeah avoiding a disease is a medical issue.

I didn’t catch the Bible verse that says forgive and catch herpes.

 

[Reasonably Sane]

She’s beautiful and have great traits you would want in a Godly women

Beauty is the price of admission. It's not why I marry, though ugly and obese can be a show stopper. But that's because both can be caused by lifestyle. When I married my wife, I married the person within her body, and since her body was 43 years old I could tell how she took care of it. But the reason I wanted her was the person inside. And we've been married over 25 years and it only gets better. I honestly never had any expectations that it could be anywhere near this good.

But I may have considered her for marriage even if she had that "high professional body count." But I doubt it would have gone further than that. It takes more than just "becoming a Christian" to change that sort of thing. I put it in quotes for a reason.

Keep in mind, I don't know this woman so my opinion is not really worth much.

 

[Reasonably Sane]

It's not easy to avoid adding moral judgments to sins Christ has already forgiven.

I look at forgiveness this way: You can forgive a lion for eating one of your children, but it's really stupid to continue to let the rest of your kids play around it.

 

[Divide]

Well, that's an interesting comparison. Most people gain weight after marriage. Many actually get fat. So, now their sinning in the marriage, isn't that worse than someone having committed that sin before the marriage?

By your thinking, shouldn't Christians divorce their spouses if their spouses gain weight?

Here is the thing: There may well be earthly consequences to the actions of an unbeliever. Those consequences may be life-long. But under the ethics of Christianity, Christians should not add moral consequences after a person has become a believer and repented.

I agree. Is being a SW (previously) is against God's law is it not? Of course it can be forgiven by the Lord and will be if confessed. I don't know how much the secular Adultery laws are enforced anymore, but it used to be an Offense at least. And a bank robber or murderer can be forgiven by God also, but they still have to face the consequences for their actions in the world. Ok so maybe Adultery is a lesser offense than Murder, but there was a still a (big) offense so the woman will have natural consequences in the world for her behavior previously just like big sinners but more like a Misdemeanor I guess? And one consequence is, if she tells her Fiance, hey I used to do the SW thing...that man has every right to break that engagement and tell her no. And there is her worldly consequence. Oh well she'll have to keep looking for a husband.

If there is 8 Billion people o earth and if it's 50/50 at least then she still has a pool of almost 4 Billion other men in which to find herself a husband. And technically, a man has no obligation to keep her if she did commit adultery or have another mans baby. The right for the man to say no or divorce her right then trumps her having her feelings hurt by the rejection. Of course she will cry. I would be sorry but I dont have to marry her.

But it was not always so! That's what scripture says. God gave Moses instructions about how a man can divorce his cheating Wife. But it was given to mankind as a concession (because there were so many bad girls?) but a man is supposed to hang in there and love and support his wife in all ways and originally you were not allowed to get a divorce.
But we are allowed to say No to a girl if we want to! (There's 4 billion more!) and most the men are trans/gay/wont work/lowlifes/whatever anyway so that probably contributes to a man shortage to the women. No wonder women are so competitive, lol.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Yeah that’s all fine and dandy until you wake up with herpes, warts or HIV.

There are just as many situations where a woman can wake up with an STD from her partner. Maybe a godly woman should find out about her male partner's past before making a commitment to him.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Do you believe it is the duty of all Christians to ignore someone's past if they've repented of the action?

Yes, if they have shown the fruit of repentance over a reasonable period of time that would validate the genuineness of their conversion to Christ. It is then up to the person to voluntarily disclose their past if it is deemed to have complete honesty in the relationship. That would take faith and trust that the relationship is strong enough to cope with it.

 

[Divide]

I would have thought so, but some here seem to have a genuine problem with promiscuous people being rejected romantically

Do you mean me? I'm sorry Brother. I just felt ripped off was all. We're supposed to get one virgin wife and till death do us part. Imagine my surprise when we consumated our marriage and I instantly knew that someone had stolen something from me.

It does give me a problem with promiscuous people that I would reject. Why would I want to get married to an ex SW? Is there an advantage to that? Is there risk to that? Yes there is risk. The world is full of people. There is not a wrongness in saying no I dont want to date or marry to a girl. Any girl. I mean, am I free to choose my own Wife or not?

It isnt any kind of discrimination or political correctness, thats malarky. Forget about that. You can't possibly think that I would be obligated to marry the girl who had been a SW? There's maybe 6 billion women who do not have a husband (if the women outnumber the men like they say cuz the men die in wars and fights and all that but I dont know the exact figures. But no man is without a wife if he wants one. And no one has to pay for it, Lol! Except wives are much more expensive than hookers are by far. But it's not the money that counts anyway!

Because the money is simply a means to an end. If the end goal is a Marriage to a nice woman, then ok you have to work and buy her a place to live and feed her and protect her. So when a man gets off work, his day isnt over! It has now just begun. I got the means to the end done for the day and am now home with my wife & family. She worked all day too, right? cleaning, watching kids whatever. That's admirable. Every man wants that family.

I could not say yes to an ex SW. That she would be missing a very large part of what I consider to be a "Wife". There's too much risk.
I'd try to do anything for the girl. To help her and not to judge her beyond would I want a wife like that? (Prolly not, ya know?) or to pray for the girl. But Marry her? How big could that can of worms be?!

Girls that do not have that spirit of Lust that undoubtably come with the territory of SW are easier and more pleasant girls to be around, in mine own experience. A young man may have enough oats to be able to marry that SW and keep her in line (for the Husbands health safety and to keep the Marriage undefiled...)



It's no offense to SW's but somehow, I was raised to not go in for those type girls

 

[Ignatius the Kiwi]

Yes, if they have shown the fruit of repentance over a reasonable period of time that would validate the genuineness of their conversion to Christ. It is then up to the person to voluntarily disclose their past if it is deemed to have complete honesty in the relationship. That would take faith and trust that the relationship is strong enough to cope with it.

So there is a duty for men and women to overlook bad decisions, sins and evil committed by someone, if they've genuinely repented? When it comes to marriage?

 

[timothyu]

I notice they only act like that online and never in real life.

Internet is an illusion where invisible people gather and minorites and outcasts can find a home that makes them seem the majority.

 

[timothyu]

That we should forgive our brothers and sisters. But we don't have to marry them

Or if we do, we don't have to have sex with them, although that may more appeal to the older crowd lol. They usually know the meaning of friendship. Besides marriage just 'legalizes' a lot of things that might otherwise be found distasteful.

 

[Flaunge]

I wouldn't. Although I don't judge people for such sins and obviously have sins of my own, I don't think I'd be able to deal with it.

Although it's obviously not something set in stone, just like people tend to marry people of similar backgrounds, academic proficiency levels, etc, I think it'd generally be better for a sister like that to marry a brother with a similar past. The chances of each being able to tolerate the consequences of the other's past would be far greater, I think.

 

[QuestionQuest74]

If she hasn't healed from her past, before marriage, I would recommend her to a Christian psychologist, or bring her to a pastor or priest. Some people get scarred for life. But hey, we all have scars. Just as long as she doesn't repeat any mistakes or goes back into that industry.

What would be signs she hasn’t healed?

 

[timothyu]

What would be signs she hasn’t healed?

Being indifferent about sex?

 

[Ignatius the Kiwi]

Do you mean me? I'm sorry Brother. I just felt ripped off was all. We're supposed to get one virgin wife and till death do us part. Imagine my surprise when we consumated our marriage and I instantly knew that someone had stolen something from me.

It does give me a problem with promiscuous people that I would reject. Why would I want to get married to an ex SW? Is there an advantage to that? Is there risk to that? Yes there is risk. The world is full of people. There is not a wrongness in saying no I dont want to date or marry to a girl. Any girl. I mean, am I free to choose my own Wife or not?

It isnt any kind of discrimination or political correctness, thats malarky. Forget about that. You can't possibly think that I would be obligated to marry the girl who had been a SW? There's maybe 6 billion women who do not have a husband (if the women outnumber the men like they say cuz the men die in wars and fights and all that but I dont know the exact figures. But no man is without a wife if he wants one. And no one has to pay for it, Lol! Except wives are much more expensive than hookers are by far. But it's not the money that counts anyway!

Because the money is simply a means to an end. If the end goal is a Marriage to a nice woman, then ok you have to work and buy her a place to live and feed her and protect her. So when a man gets off work, his day isnt over! It has now just begun. I got the means to the end done for the day and am now home with my wife & family. She worked all day too, right? cleaning, watching kids whatever. That's admirable. Every man wants that family.

I could not say yes to an ex SW. That she would be missing a very large part of what I consider to be a "Wife". There's too much risk.
I'd try to do anything for the girl. To help her and not to judge her beyond would I want a wife like that? (Prolly not, ya know?) or to pray for the girl. But Marry her? How big could that can of worms be?!

Girls that do not have that spirit of Lust that undoubtably come with the territory of SW are easier and more pleasant girls to be around, in mine own experience. A young man may have enough oats to be able to marry that SW and keep her in line (for the Husbands health safety and to keep the Marriage undefiled...)



It's no offense to SW's but somehow, I was raised to not go in for those type girls

Not anyone specifically but it's an attitude I notice that comes up whenever this question is discussed online.

It places an undue burden on someone to accept as marriage material someone who violated what is supposed to be in marriage. It almost reverses the guilt and places it on the person doing the rejection, not understanding that this is merely the consequence of your past actions.

That we are not entitled to be accepted as anything more than brothers or sisters in Christ. That is an obligation we have, to accept as fellow Christians those who have strayed, but we are not obligated to marry them. Nor should we be guilted for desiring something that is good (non promiscuity).

I also notice the same people who argue along these lines carve out exceptions for sins they in particular cannot accept. Such as physical abuse. Promiscuity cannot be held against a woman, but violence can be held against a man. There is a definite bias at play here.

Either we accept there are preferences that each person is allowed to have, or we have no discrimination against anyone for any sin. The latter being impossible, means we should rely on the former. Sex workers should understand that most men are going to not want to marry them and that in turn should serve as a warning to other women not to engage in it.

 

[Divide]

That we should forgive our brothers and sisters. But we don't have to marry them

In the context of the thread the girl is a potential fiance so there should be no forgiveness required. Everyone is on their best behavior in the beginning so she has done nothing to me and I don't judge her. She might be a nice girl.

But I don't have to marry her. Who hasnt not married the first girl that came along? I didn't. Saying no I dot think that would work out but we can be friends is not a bad thing for any man to do. You don't have to be rude about it, unless you enjoy drama, lol.

I've said no to many girls over the years. (for dates). 4 since I''ve been in this town. And I said no 4 times. I'm not as handsome as I used to be in my youth now, so it must be my truck, I look like I have a job? It has to be something, lol.

 

[Divide]

Not anyone specifically but it's an attitude I notice that comes up whenever this question is discussed online.

It places an undue burden on someone to accept as marriage material someone who violated what is supposed to be in marriage. It almost reverses the guilt and places it on the person doing the rejection, not understanding that this is merely the consequence of your past actions.

That we are not entitled to be accepted as anything more than brothers or sisters in Christ. That is an obligation we have, to accept as fellow Christians those who have strayed, but we are not obligated to marry them. Nor should we be guilted for desiring something that is good (non promiscuity).

I also notice the same people who argue along these lines carve out exceptions for sins they in particular cannot accept. Such as physical abuse. Promiscuity cannot be held against a woman, but violence can be held against a man. There is a definite bias at play here.

Either we accept there are preferences that each person is allowed to have, or we have no discrimination against anyone for any sin. The latter being impossible, means we should rely on the former. Sex workers should understand that most men are going to not want to marry them and that in turn should serve as a warning to other women not to engage in it.

Well said.

 

[Divide]

What is simple but not easy? The std test?

There used to be a Syphlis test that people had to get before they could get a marriage license. I guess with all the new designer STD's they just figured, what's the point?

It used to be a case of the itchy scratchies. Now you got stuff falling off and stuff, lol. It's risky business to look for a Wife on planet Earth!