Would you let your daughter...

[Rose of Eden]

Going off of what you said, I can't remember the passage, but isn't there a verse which says something to the effect of: God rebukes those He loves.

It's a verse that's basically showing that rebuking someone can be done with love, and with good intention, and that it's something that we should do for our brothers and sisters. Sure there's a fine line between judging someone and rebuking them for a good purpose, but I think all of us in this thread are suggesting the latter. We don't want some barely dressed woman to come in to church so that we can talk bad things about her behind her back. What we want to do is show her what she does when she dresses that way, how it trips up some of the brothers and devalues her, and correct her in that way. It has nothing to do with judgment and everything to do with love and instruction.

I was thinking this exact same thing. We're supposed to rebuke each other (as in other believers in the church) in a loving manner when they're doing something sinful. And we're not supposed to purposely do something that will cause another believer to sin. 1 Corinthians talks about this is relation to food and meat and I think that it is certainly applicable to dress as well:

"Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others." 1 Cor. 10:24

"Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak." 1 Cor. 8:9

"Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall." 1 Cor. 8:13

In my opinion, the church should do something about immodesty. I don't think a dress code that calls out newcomers during the service would be a good idea though; that wouldn't be loving. I think a good solution would be to talk privately to any members or regular attendees that are consistently dressing in such a manner that is particularly distracting (as in always coming to church in skin tight booty shorts and a midrif-bearing tubetop, NOT simply a modest but figure flattering dress or the occasional sort-of low cut top). Newcomers who are a problem, in my opinion, should be told after they've been coming a few times already, not when they just walk in for the first time ever (unless they're completely ridiculous, I suppose, like if they're wearing a string bikini to church lol!).

I think that all of the above plus the church every so often openly addressing the topic of sexual immorality to its congregation would be a good solution.

 

[wannaberocker]

If i had a kid. Id hope that I raised her well enough, that I wouldn’t have to say "You cannot wear that". Id hope that she would be mindful of her surroundings and dress appropriately regardless of where she was going.

 

[jminnesota]

everyone has there own view on what modisty is as well. some might think some clevage is to much others might think some clevage is just fine. some think PJs is bad in public but i have seen sweatpants that show more then PJ pants do. so again it depends on the family. I dont think god is going to mind if a teen girl has some clevage showing or comes in her PJs maybe she had a hard week at school and jobs that she just wanted to come comfy.

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

...go to church dressed like she was going to bed? Or in some other sexy/flirty outfit?

I was in church yesterday and saw this teenage girl wearing a tiny skin-tight white tshirt and seriously short boy-shorts that looked more like underwear. I admit, I was disgusted.

I can't grasp the mentality of a mom or dad who would let their daughter go to church dressed like that. Casual is one thing, but this was crazy.

Do you think churches should have lines drawn on what people can wear, as far as modesty? Where do you draw that line? Should they allow guys in with no shirts and girls in bikinis? Sometimes I feel like we're one step away from that.

I am all for making the lost feel welcome and embraced, no matter how they look when they come in. But should we tell them that if they want to continue to come, they need to dress modestly? And when it's a church member or their child...should a line be drawn? Is it OK if the teen girls walk around in halter tops and daisy dukes? Should we be conforming to the world here in order to "attract" people, or should we stand up and be different and expect adherence to rules of decency?

This sort of a half-rant and half-question. Lemme know what you guys think.

Yes...it is totally inappropriate and especially when you consider she will incite lust in Teen Guys and grown Men . SHe is a girl that has obviously bought into the lies of our culture that sexy is real good and its a fast way to attract a Guy. Problem is, after the Guy gets done with his few seconds (or minutes) of lust enjoyment...he will develop a disrespect for her because she has no respect for herself. That, or, the Guy will want to get to know her solely for her body and what he can experience from it IE; Casual sex.

One Pastor of an evangelical church , routinely, every summer....asks women to please dress modestly now that the summer is starting and please refrain from low cut tops, skin tight clothing, and the like. He then reminds the importance of not leading their Brothers in Christ into lustful sin.

Someone in authority at your church needs to approach this girl and have a stern talk with her. If she continues her provacative prancing around ...then she should be banned from Church by the Pastor / Elders of your CHurch. She is a bad example for younger girls as well as girls the same age, and older.... as well as giving THe Christian Faith a black eye it doesnt need.

 

[jminnesota]

well go to most stores now and most jeans are all tight and low cut so girls dont really have an option other then wearing jeans that show off there butt. and i have seen girls come to church in PJ bottoms and it dont bother me like i said i have seen sweatpants show more of there butts then the PJ bottoms do. my pastor is like as long as you come to church comfy he dont mind. most girls in our church dress good but there are a few teens that like to have pj bottoms or jeans that show there thong sticking out as they bend over. i go to listen to god so i dont really pay attention really

 

[TheUnforeseen]

...go to church dressed like she was going to bed? Or in some other sexy/flirty outfit?

I was in church yesterday and saw this teenage girl wearing a tiny skin-tight white tshirt and seriously short boy-shorts that looked more like underwear. I admit, I was disgusted.

I can't grasp the mentality of a mom or dad who would let their daughter go to church dressed like that. Casual is one thing, but this was crazy.

Do you think churches should have lines drawn on what people can wear, as far as modesty? Where do you draw that line? Should they allow guys in with no shirts and girls in bikinis? Sometimes I feel like we're one step away from that.

I am all for making the lost feel welcome and embraced, no matter how they look when they come in. But should we tell them that if they want to continue to come, they need to dress modestly? And when it's a church member or their child...should a line be drawn? Is it OK if the teen girls walk around in halter tops and daisy dukes? Should we be conforming to the world here in order to "attract" people, or should we stand up and be different and expect adherence to rules of decency?

This sort of a half-rant and half-question. Lemme know what you guys think.

I wouldn't let me daughter go like that ANYWHERE. That girl wants a good slap around the ears from her parents.

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

well go to most stores now and most jeans are all tight and low cut so girls dont really have an option other then wearing jeans that show off there butt. and i have seen girls come to church in PJ bottoms and it dont bother me like i said i have seen sweatpants show more of there butts then the PJ bottoms do. my pastor is like as long as you come to church comfy he dont mind. most girls in our church dress good but there are a few teens that like to have pj bottoms or jeans that show there thong sticking out as they bend over. i go to listen to god so i dont really pay attention really

Disagree. Its up to the (genuine) Christian Teen to FIND appropriate clothing to wear and to not be guided and influenced by a sexualized culture that is totally against God, his loving moral mandates for us, or modest sensible dress.

Teens, all Teens...need a crash course on male sexuality and how that works ; including how a provactively dressed woman with tight jeans or tight top will leave a guy turned on...but with a huge disrespect from the guy --- oftentimes to the point of the guy taking libertys with the gal because shes acting Tramp-ish. If a woman is going to dress like that, then she sure as heck better not expect a guy to like her for her inner qualities .

Dont follow an out of control culture when it comes to clothing. OUr culture cares nothing about you...only your money and getting you to fit in with the crowd .

 

[Amber.ly]

I plan to handle talking about modesty with my daughters the same way my parents did. My Dad sat down and was very honest about how visual guys are. He told me that he felt that part of his responsibility to me as my father was to protect me the best he could and that was why he was not only giving me guideline for my clothes, but also tried to explain the reason behind the guidelines from a guy's perspective.

Then my mom told me what their rules were while I lived in the house but more importantly, why they came up with standards for dressing.

Modesty to me isn't a set of rules to follow. After all, what is modest in America is not modest in Africa. I think my responsibility is to honor God with my clothes in the way I believe He has called me to. Its just one more part of living a Godly life. That is the message I want to pass on to my kids.

Edited to add: You know what I wouldn't let my kids wear? Crocs. A sin against fashion.

 

[jminnesota]

I plan to handle talking about modesty with my daughters the same way my parents did. My Dad sat down and was very honest about how visual guys are. He told me that he felt that part of his responsibility to me as my father was to protect me the best he could and that was why he was not only giving me guideline for my clothes, but also tried to explain the reason behind the guidelines from a guy's perspective.

Then my mom told me what their rules were while I lived in the house but more importantly, why they came up with standards for dressing.

Modesty to me isn't a set of rules to follow. After all, what is modest in America is not modest in Africa. I think my responsibility is to honor God with my clothes in the way I believe He has called me to. Its just one more part of living a Godly life. That is the message I want to pass on to my kids.

Edited to add: You know what I wouldn't let my kids wear? Crocs. A sin against fashion.

yea so what was allowed when you where growing up and with your parents?

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

i guess i have no issue with girls that like to look good or show some skin is all. boys and men should be able to control there sex drive in public. i can even as a teen if a girl showed clevage or wore a bikini i might of thought they looked great but never though sexual of them.

What people SHOULD do and what People decide to do , are two seperate things ; when we have the kind of sex saturated society we have it is easy for weak willed People to get caught up in the wave of sexual indescretion . Theres a good reason why nearly 1 in 3 women will be assaulted (physically and/or sexually) during their lifetime . So if youre a female, DONT throw fuel on the fire by wearing scantilly clad clothing you think is cute....for your own safety . And....when its WashDay women...you still have to wear a bra , so dont forget this either ! lol...

Lastly, dont try to justify the way you dress by saying " Men SHOULD be able to handle it" . Many women have found out the hard and painful way, that not all men can.

 

[jminnesota]

well i dont think women have to cover everything head to toe. If a woman has a dress or shirt on that shows some clevage i dont see that as a big deal. If she came to church in a bikini then ya that is a little to much.

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

well i dont think women have to cover everything head to toe. If a woman has a dress or shirt on that shows some clevage i dont see that as a big deal. If she came to church in a bikini then ya that is a little to much.

I never asserted they should be covered from head to toe like Muslim women are expected to. There is nothing wrong with a woman showing her beauty ...but it has to be done tastefully . A woman showing her breasts in public will be viewed by alot of guys (no pun intended) as someone who could be very well 'easy' to get for temporary sexual pleasure without much work. Men dont respect women who shows breasts in public once they get their initial thrill of seeing them.

MOST OF ALL, a woman shouldnt be coming to a Church where people gather to worship Christ , with Men/boys even asking for forgiveness for sinning by way of lust thruout the week because women are apathetic about how they dress ,or feel they are entitled to dress as they like, or feel they can walk with Christ and dress inappropriately as a worldly woman does, all at the same time.

Lastly, it is not yours or my standard that matters on this issue ; it is what God expects and he expects we all act, behave, talk, dress in a God honoring way being respectful toward one another. Plus, it is also for our own safety .

 

[jminnesota]

well at the churches i been most women do dress normal and tastefull. some of the teens will come in pj pants and white tank tops and i think god still loves them as god loves us for who we are not what we wear.

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

well at the churches i been most women do dress normal and tastefull. some of the teens will come in pj pants and white tank tops and i think god still loves them as god loves us for who we are not what we wear.

The issue isnt whether 'God loves them' or not ; its about being OBEDIENT to God, his moral mandates for our own protection and wellbeing, to maintain a distinctively christian atmosphere, and to desire the things of God over what we want to do, to wear, to act, to behave, to talk. ALL of our choices need to be funneled thru the filter of what God would approve of , and not what people find fashionable/cute/sexy/etc...

End.

 

[jminnesota]

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

Blind post. I wouldn't let my daughter go to a club dressed like that. I get sickened seeing what some ppl wear to church. Where is the respect for God's house and His ppl?

 

[jminnesota]

well when i am at church some where sunday best dresses and others come in t shirt and blue jeans some might show some clevage but i dont see the big deal in that. i dont think god wants women covered head to toe and no skin showing. god wants people to come to church comfy and ready to learn the word of god. it is not the 1800s anymore where girls had to cover everything except there face. and most of the girls at my church are god loving who help teach little kids and volunteer at church events so its all good to me.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

The issue isnt whether 'God loves them' or not ; its about being OBEDIENT to God, his moral mandates for our own protection and wellbeing, to maintain a distinctively christian atmosphere, and to desire the things of God over what we want to do, to wear, to act, to behave, to talk. ALL of our choices need to be funneled thru the filter of what God would approve of , and not what people find fashionable/cute/sexy/etc...

End.

Yes. I agree.

 

[jminnesota]

well worry about yourselfs and not what others are wearing to church

 

[Miss Spaulding]

well worry about yourselfs and not what others are wearing to church

There's nothing wrong in being concerned about how young people, or any people, are dressed when they come into God's house on Sunday to hear His Word and worship. ...If you were to go and have dinner with the president tonight at the White House, would you dress in jeans and a t-shirt that's 'comfy', or would you make point at dressing sharp? Because afterall...you are having dinner with the president.

My point here is this: Nobody in their right mind when go have dinner with the president at the White House dressed in only something casual. And that's only the 'president'. How much more important do you think God is? I'd venture to say MUCH more important. If we can make a point at presenting ourselves dressed in our best, at our very 'classiest' when dining with an important figure in society, then I believe it's only right to do the same for God when entering into His house.

P.S. This is the 'singles' forum, which is for singles *only. Just FYI.