Women

[joebudda]

When did I ever say be mean or lie. I love how women feel the need to read into things and make up a totally different conversation.

Yes I don’t want to get tied down again right now. Because like this morning there is nothing better then waking up with two beautiful women in my bed.

Let me explain how it happened.
Last night I had a little party at my house. Anyway we started by playing strip poker and drinking some beers. Then we decided to go skinny dipping in my pool. Now that was a good time. Well I am sure you can fill in the rest.

I just find it strange you feel it so important to attack Arkanin the way you girls have been. Okay he confessed to having low self-esteem so why not make him feel even lower. No wonder you have had such a bad time with guys. Do you always exploit what you find as faults in guys?

I have said repeatedly that you shouldn’t be cruel or mean. But have said not to be a push over toward women and I stand by that statement. Maybe that is what you have having such a problem with maybe you are looking for some wussy guy to control.

Go get laid to let off some steam, geese.

 

[goodoldboy]

I've been with a "nice guy" for 6 years. He was not a high school sweetheart either. I hate bad boys. How do I know he's a "nice guy"? He basically is the same as me.

So...how exactly are "ALL" girls attracted to bad guys?

I'm begining to think this is just an excuse by guys who can't attract girls, guys who have had relationship problems or guys who want an excuse to act like a jerk.

I'll say it before and I will say it again, more often then not women who are attracted to "bad boys" have had some sort of psychological or physical trauma in the past.

"goodoldboy" That link your provided, well you know what? I checked it and a majority of those sites are just sucker sites trying to take advantage of guys. I notice many of those sites say "Click here now to buy our book!", "Get women, buy our book!"

Since you think Google is the ultimate source of knowledge here is food for thought:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=men+%2B+%22idiots%22&btnG=Google+Search

MsShinobu, you are 23. You have been with your boyfriend for 6 years. That means you were 17 when you started out with him. And you say that he is not your high school sweetheart. So you met him outside of school? It doesn't matter where you first knew him. The point is that you have had only one relationship your whole life, and you can't use that to judge the type who would generally attract you.

The reason I gave that Google link is so that you could survey the experiences of men. If you don't trust advice-givers who sell books, then listen to those men who don't sell anything. This poem (contains crude language), for example, illustrates the opinion that arose from the experiences of one man who isn't trying to sell a thing. You may even want to take the advice-sellers seriously, because the advice that sells best is typically the advice that works best.

 

[Godsgirl481]

Well said MsShinobu...but way too harsh. Arkanin....I will say this...most guys need to be way nicer and understanding. I am a product of child abuse...both sexual and physical. I am TERRIFIED of men. The relationships that I have managed to substain...was abusive ones. The one that I am in now is verbally abusive...however I think that he wants to understand and change...but he was abused to when he was younger and he is dealing with it differently. I never expect anyone to pay a tab for me...it is super cool if they do...but I always bring money with me...just in case. My current boyfriend won't let me take out the trash or pump gas....or pay anything at a restraunt or a store....or if I do...at least he makes me give him the money so it looks like he paid lol. I have come to sorta expect it cause we have been living together now for 8 months...and it has never changed. But if it did change...i wouldn't be upset...I would just do it. I don't expect anything from anyone. I don't disagree that there are females out there that do what you said...but I think more men these days have some kind of mocho attitude and think that women are toys for them to beat around and play with. you can't catgorize women into this little group of yours...just like I can't say that all men are bad because of the abuse i went through...nothing is "all"....everyone is different. They all have different minds, different thoughts, different fears...and different expectations. All I expect from a guy is that he is understnading of all my "issues" and loves me no matter what...and touches me and holds me without just wanting sex from me. I don't think that is really too much to ask from anyone.

This was my post earlier...does that sound cruel? Joebudda...you know nothing about me or why I have been through a lot with guys. Do you think I did something to make them rape me as a child or beat the living hell out of me as a child? I was just trying to speak from my point of view on the subject....i did not attack him in any way.

 

[MsShinobu]

Wow joebuddy, you have a sad sad life. They say people who have "sex buddies" are people afraid of committment. Your "relationship" is one of empty love and empty sex. Also nice crack telling someone "to go get laid" sure that will help solve everything, tell that to cancer patients, AIDS victims, rape victims ect. A simple solution for a simple mind.

The thing is Arkanin isn't posting here for help. Everyone would be much MUCH more sensitive to him if he was. He doesn't want help, he just wanted to post to whine and for attention (much like your post).

We all want attention in life sometimes, but there is a good and bad way to get attention.

Edit: Goodoldboy I had had boyfriends before my current. Though they were just minor relationships in middle school (The kind where you just walk with them in school and say "I like you" and then it's over in 2-3 weeks). One was the "bad boy" type which I DID NOT know at the begining, but I quickly found out and broke up with him.

Maybe that is what you have having such a problem with maybe you are looking for some wussy guy to control.

Or maybe just maybe they are looking for a good intelligent man who would make a nice Husband?

 

[funyun]

Arkanin, don't listen to these people on here.

 

[goodoldboy]

Arkanin, don't listen to these people on here.

No, Arkanin, don't listen to funyun, he's full of bullocks.

 

[goodoldboy]

MsShinobu, no offense, but your middle-school boyfriends don't really count in my book either.

 

[MsShinobu]

Arkanin, don't listen to these people on here.

Of course, don't listen to the people who are trying to make you see you have a serious problem with your thinking that is leading you on a terrible path.

Don't listen to words of advice.

No offense taken goodoldboy

The main thing here is, if you are going to complain about the opposite sex then just don't bother. Just don't have any relationships, or could it be no one is strong-willed enough to live a life of celibacy? Or possibly is it because one wouldn't have anything to complain about?

 

[Godsgirl481]

MsShinobu....I like your bluntness lol. I could go on forever complaining about guys....I don't feel like I am a bad person....but who knows...I could be

 

[funyun]

Of course, don't listen to the people who are trying to make you see you have a serious problem with your thinking that is leading you on a terrible path.

Don't listen to words of advice.

You're not offering anything helpful. You're saying things like this:

Arkanin it's just seems so terrible clear that you want to wallow in self-pity.

Here's my advice CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE. It has been a HUGE turnoff to many of the ladies posting in this topic. No offense but you sure as heck dont want to listen to anything but "you're right, women are awful you should become a jerk!"

If you want to be a jerk to women, whatever, you will just be joining one HUGE junk pile of men who act that way.

I think the problem lies within YOU, but since all you want to do is bellyache and cry, then it's apparent to me (and everyone else) that you don't want help.

I'm sorry. I despise people who lie and deceive people.

The thing is Arkanin isn't posting here for help. Everyone would be much MUCH more sensitive to him if he was. He doesn't want help, he just wanted to post to whine and for attention (much like your post).

I don't think you understand one bit what Arkanin is talking about.

 

[Godsgirl481]

I do...but I see it from another angle since I am female and not male. What he doesn't realize is that first off...not all women are like that...just like not all women are like me....and second...men have a lot of faults too. Set your standards high...and don't settle for second best. I have learned that you can be more lonely with someone who doesn't really love you than you can just being alone....if that makes sense

 

[ukok]

You can go ahead and point me to those explanations for why women really like the nice guys. I really haven't seen them yet. I prefer an examination based on observations and experiences rather than the wishful thinking of women--because women say one thing and do something else. They are educated by society to be attracted to nice guys, but they are hard-wired by instinct to be attracted to jerks. Guess which part of their brain is dominant.

Go to google, search for women + "nice guys" and get an education. Listen to men tell what works for men rather than what you think works for you. Women like you date jerks over and over, complaining about them all the while.

how much personal experience do you want ? I have been on the receiving end of being treated like the stuff that one scrapes off of their shoe.....i lived with a man who made me feel small, for almost 6 years....are you seriously telling me that women who are treated badly enjoy it? You know nothing of what it is like to be treated in such a way, if you believe that to be true. Women stay with men like that because they have it drummed into their heads that 'they deserve to be treated badly', 'they are nothing without him', or simply (?) because they are intimidated, belittled and ridiculed so much that the woman thinks that her whole purpose in life is to make her man happy...whatever the cost to herself...please don't be so condescending as to presume that i am a singular example. I have met many women who have been abused, and have the scars to prove it....the difference between us is that i would never generalise that men are a bunch of 'so and so's' just because i had the misfortune to become involved with someone who was so seriously disturbed that he had to make my life hell, just to make his more bearable.

If anyone needs educating around here, it might just be you...

 

[MsShinobu]

MsShinobu....I like your bluntness lol. I could go on forever complaining about guys....I don't feel like I am a bad person....but who knows...I could be

Thank you. I feel bad for being so blunt but I also feel very angry at all these generalizations of "What women want". Some of theses men that have posted in this topic have a very distrurbed sense of "what women want". Like they say "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure". It's important to prevent people from spiraling into a dangerous lifestyle then just setting back and allowing them to make these poor life choices. Even if what I say is blunt I only say it because I am concerned (and of course a bit angry).


Funyun...I've read all of his posts. I know what he is saying, the thing is he isn't accepting any advice other then what he wants to hear. I don't get it he goes on one minute about how he dislikes his looks, but then when I suggest he works on his apparence and maybe update his looks or just pamper himself a bit he goes on about how he is "metrosexual" and his looks have nothing to do with his woes. It's like he just wants to blame everything and not accept anything.

After constantly (and I mean CONSTANTLY) trying to tell this guy that there is a fault within himself that is leading to this viscious cycle and after having him constantly deny/push aside all of it I'm getting really tired and just left with the feeling that he is just doing this for attention and that he really doesn't want to change anything about himself, rather he just wants people to tell him that "it's true all women are monsters! Don't feel bad about using them".

I don't see the point, I mean if you're not going to accept peoples advice....why ask for it?

Does he really want help, or does he just want to continue his cycle of self-pity?

Then you have some guy posting here telling Arkanin not to listen to anyone posting here, okay so what exactly was the point of Arkanin making this thread if it were for not listening to others opinions?

 

[goodoldboy]

how much personal experience do you want ? I have been on the receiving end of being treated like the stuff that one scrapes off of their shoe.....i lived with a man who made me feel small, for almost 6 years....are you seriously telling me that women who are treated badly enjoy it? You know nothing of what it is like to be treated in such a way, if you believe that to be true. Women stay with men like that because they have it drummed into their heads that 'they deserve to be treated badly', 'they are nothing without him', or simply (?) because they are intimidated, belittled and ridiculed so much that the woman thinks that her whole purpose in life is to make her man happy...whatever the cost to herself...please don't be so condescending as to presume that i am a singular example. I have met many women who have been abused, and have the scars to prove it....the difference between us is that i would never generalise that men are a bunch of 'so and so's' just because i had the misfortune to become involved with someone who was so seriously disturbed that he had to make my life hell, just to make his more bearable.

If anyone needs educating around here, it might just be you...

You bet I need some education. ukok, you stayed with a guy who made you feel small for six years? You couldn't figure out that you were with the wrong guy for six whole years? Why did you do that?

Why don't you point out experiences that are contrary to my conclusions instead of supportive of my conclusions? It will do no good to ask me to believe that your experiences are the exceptions to the general rule unless you also give plenty of examples that demonstrate the general rule.

I don't know if women enjoy those sort of demeaning relationships. Maybe you are right and they don't enjoy them. But they generally choose them, as in your case. Why?

 

[MsShinobu]

Sometimes people don't know what to do goodoldboy. I gave you my experiance, which had to do with me not being attracted to bad boys, but that wasn't good enough. However, when a girl comes along and tells about her relationship that she -didn't- like you just take that as proof that women like abusive relationships. What the heck?

See It just seems like you guys -want- to believe that women want these relationships because you just want to tell yourself that so you don't feel bad when you are rejected.

Most of the men in this topic who have expressed that "women only want bad guys" are men who have had bad relationships or have seperated from their wife/fiance. Where are all the married men/men who are currently dating? Why are they not speaking up?

 

[Godsgirl481]

well i can't say much about living a wrong lifestyle

 

[goodoldboy]

So you said,

Women stay with men like that because they have it drummed into their heads that 'they deserve to be treated badly', 'they are nothing without him', or simply (?) because they are intimidated, belittled and ridiculed so much that the woman thinks that her whole purpose in life is to make her man happy...whatever the cost to herself..

I guess that is kinda hard for me to relate to. It is difficult for me to accept that explanation as the sole explanation for why women choose jerks for boyfriends and husbands and dump the nice guys. I would never accept such treatment, and I never have. But somehow a whole lot of women get it and accept it. They even look for it by kicking the nice guys to the curb and welcoming the jerks.

The western world is supposed to be more feminist than it has ever been. And it is. The genereal message of western society is that women should not accept any abuse from men. So where are they getting these hidden messages that 'they deserve to be treated badly' or 'they are nothing without him'?I certainly haven't heard it.

 

[Godsgirl481]

My boyfriend right now treats me like a dog most of the time. he never hits me but he throws things a lot and verbally bashes me. I am still here cause for so long i was so lonely and he says he loves me. I don't know....it hurts but i think it hurts worse to be alone

 

[goodoldboy]

Sometimes people don't know what to do goodoldboy. I gave you my experiance, which had to do with me not being attracted to bad boys, but that wasn't good enough. However, when a girl comes along and tells about her relationship that she -didn't- like you just take that as proof that women like abusive relationships. What the heck?

See It just seems like you guys -want- to believe that women want these relationships because you just want to tell yourself that so you don't feel bad when you are rejected.

Most of the men in this topic who have expressed that "women only want bad guys" are men who have had bad relationships or have seperated from their wife/fiance. Where are all the married men/men who are currently dating? Why are they not speaking up?

MsShinobu, it should really be obvious why your experience is not acceptable as evidence. One guy for six years since you were seventeen is not a good example.

What I really want is an explanation for why I am rejected when I am the nice guy, and an explanation for why I am sought after and cried over when I am the jerk who just doesn't give a damn. I am also looking for why other men have the same experiences. Most of all, I would like an explanation for why women are in such denial about it. I am not looking to make myself feel better about rejection. I am looking to stop the rejection.

 

[MsShinobu]

Well acting isn't good. You should never start a relationship off of lies..even if you find it helps you attract people.

If you go with the mindset that being a nice guy isn't going to help you attract anyone, then you probably won't. I don't really see why a woman wouldn't be attracted to a nice guy. I mean if you have good hygiene and are a kind person why wouldn't a woman want that?

The thing is it is hard for me to just go on your view. Because what you are projecting to other women may be totally different then what you perceive. Even if you say you are a "nice guy" what is viewed as nice to one person may be totally different to another. Basically my point is, even if you say you are a nice guy there is no way for me to know this is true. I have heard many a man say he was a "nice guy" only to find he wasn't.

When it's all said and done, don't try so hard. Just go with the flow. When I met my Boyfriend, I wasn't even looking, I also wasn't even interested in dating.