Hello, hubble9458, and welcome to CF!
That is an extremely astute question.
You might find the ancient understanding of the early Church to make better sense of this (though it can take time and study to really begin to understand what that entails, so I fear I won't be able to make more than a simple rough outline here).
Firstly, the way you worded - "that God would require the blood of his murdered Son in order to forgive" is a quasi-step in the direction of what the early Church does not believe. Yes, Christ died on the cross for our sins, in order to reconcile us to God, and to defeat death (that second part is usually left out and is actually quite important). The part that the early Church rejects (which you didn't quite say) is that God had a problem, that He needed satisfaction and was incapable of forgiving otherwise, that He was somehow slave to some cosmic law that demanded God Himself provide satisfaction (to whom?) in order to balance the scales so He could forgive, and/or that it was the suffering that He demanded (a "pound of flesh") that SOMEONE had to pay before He became willing to forgive. All of these are the "step further" in reasoning that change the dynamic, indeed change the very nature of God - to suggest that He is either insufficient, impotent, a tyrant, or at worst, a monster. God forbid!
No, the early Christians would not have recognized such a "god" and it represents a change to the original Gospel (which means "Good news" ... how can this be "good news"?) Besides, in its extreme forms, it pits the will of the Father (to destroy sinners) against the will of the Son (to save sinners) and creates a division within the Holy Trinity which is impossible.
Christ was a sacrifice, His death did defeat death (because God cannot die, so death could not contain Him). But the subtle changes added in more modern theology warps this a bit.
As to belief ... it is not simple belief that saves us. Personally, I think it bizarre also that God should determine eternal condition based on whether we can make ourselves believe something. We can't, or in cases where we manage to, it represents disordered thinking, and God is not looking to cause mental illness in order to accept us. But if you decide to believe that the sky is green, you can't do it. Not only that, but the demons know who God is. They certainly believe, and even tremble, but that doesn't save them.
Belief is necessary to the point that someone who hears the (true) Gospel and absolutely rejects it would be doing so out of a heart that turns against God. But even a seed, a grain, of belief, God can fan to a flame (and knows how to lead us into faith, if we will but cooperate). Anyone who has zero belief would not waste time asking such questions.
Scripture mentions "saving faith". THIS is what we must have. There does need to be a conversion. For some people it happens suddenly, for some God brings them through many small steps in preparation. Conversion is an acceptance of the Gospel (this can be weak at first) but most importantly, the heart is turned toward God. The very fact of someone continuing to ask questions is evidence of this journey.
But it is not simple mental belief. A most important part happens because of that openness to God, the turning of the heart toward Him. This is where much of the rest of your post comes in. Christ is indeed our example, and THAT is truly what is important. Someone who is being saved will cooperate with the grace of God, do those things that Scripture instructs us to do (primarily act in love, but also flee sin, resist temptation, discipline our flesh, submit our thoughts to Christ). With God's help, we act as Christ acted, even think as Christ would have us think, and through this, God works in us to transform us to be in both the image and likeness of Christ - restores us to what God created us to be in the beginning. THAT is salvation. And through this process, we grow to know God better, to love Christ more, and as a result, the eternity we are going to spend in His Presence will be blessedness, joy, life.
It does involve belief and trust, but focusing on those alone creates a misperception. People start to think it's a process of mental gymnastics that "saves" us, and that is completely foreign to the early Church understanding. Rather, it is who we really become - are we like Christ? The very name "Christian" means "little Christ" ... it means to be like Him.
Anyway, I hope that helps. I think you are closer than you realize. Praying for you. God be with you!
