Lutheran church historian Martin Marty says there's basically two kinds of Christians. Good Christians, and mean Christians. Good Christians focus on the message of love, and mean Christians focus on being authoritatively right, no matter who gets hurt by the consequences of their beliefs.
I would agree with that, with a codicil. Many "mean Christians" don't intend to be mean. I say this as someone who has "been there - done that." Having been a "mean Christian," allow me a little leeway to explain how this happens to a person.
Take a boy, give him a cold and uncaring father, a man who couldn't praise his son if there was a gun to his head. The boy grows up trying desperately to get that attention and praise that he craves. All people want a sense of being cared for and respected. The boy doesn't get it, and because of this, grows up to be a perfectionist.
Perfectionists are people who are trying to fill that empty spot in their heart with the love and respect they were denied as a child. They keep trying to be perfect, hoping that they will be "loved."
Now add to this conversion to the Christian faith and a new Father. What happens if the boy hears that the Father is simply Judge, that He is angry with sinners all the time, that you must not ever fail or you will get some form of a "spanking" from Him? Boy, that is really a recipe for disaster! Add to that the fundamentalist (of
all denominations) pastors who teach the newly converted boy that God hates heresy and sends all who are not doctrinally right (meaning of their particular congregation) directly to hell. Imagine the terror of the boy as he hears of things like Jonathan Edward's sermon wherein God "hold you over the fires of hell like some loathsome spider."
It doesn't take long, under that kind of preaching, for the boy to transfer his perfectionist attempts to please his earthly father to a terror-filled attempt to please His heavenly Father. Being mean become second-nature because you dare not allow people to have different opinions, you dare not leave their souls to God's care, you dare not listen to heresy without standing against it, because your Father will be very upset with you and you are endangering your soul.
There is an old saying about "If a child is raised with criticism, he learns to criticize. If a child is raised with angry, he learns to be angry, if a child is raised with love, he learns to love" Most of the "mean Christians" are people who have been raised in a bad situation.
I know.....I'm a recovering mean Christian.