Why is Sex Such a Chore?

[Rescued One]

I hope you also enjoyed a healthy active sex life for those 42 years.

Well, I would say that if there is sex or no sex, their are reasons for both. We loved each other and stayed together. People who are unhappy don't stay together for forty-two years! Give us some credit!

 

[Rescued One]

Thanks, that helps. I hope I get there. I enjoy leading, and I know I should initiate, but Damn, help a brother out. If that's just how she is, then its best to just be single, and raise our kids apart.

I'm sure other guys would be thrilled, but I'm not at all thrilled.

Spouses are obligated to work things out. You should not ask advice of people who know very little about your specific situation and are only getting your point of view. A therapist will ask lots of probing questions to which you'll give honest answers unless you're a narcicisst and want to place all the blame on her.

 

[blackribbon]

I think at this point, he really need encouragement to find the courage to stay in there and keep fighting it out.

 

[Humble me Lord]

If God is going to heal me he has to do it, and He does not need any of my help outside of my faith.

In my experience, God is not like a vending machine, pray for something and poof there it is.

Romans 5;3-5: More than that we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because Gods love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
So when you pray to Him to change something about yourself, he shapes us to be more like himself. God sometimes uses circumstances to change us. As an example, someone recognizing that they need more patience will pray for that, but God will heap things trying their patience upon them to the extreme (have experience here) in order for them to grow and change.
We are to model ourselves after Christ, so picture Him in your shoes and ask what would He do.

 

[Paidiske]

I found out about a year ago she was intimidated by me.

This is ringing an alarm bell for me. Something is wrong, for her to feel intimidated. Is there any possibility that she might have problems with anxiety, or some other underlying problem which is affecting this area of your marriage?

But I know that, with something like feeling intimidated, the more you are pushed towards what intimidates you, the more terrified you can become; I'd say pushing her is pushing her away.

 

[Dave-W]

The bible says not to withhold sex, but you say it is okay if she does.

Either you are reading me incorrectly or I am not communicating accurately.

What I said that if she withholds sex, it is between her and God, NOT you. I agree that the bible commands regular frequent sex. If she is sinning she will answer for it. But it is not for you or me, or anyone, to beat someone over the head with scripture to get them to comply; so we can get our own jollies.

 

[Open Heart]

The problem is not the lack of sex, but the lack of interest with it.

The #1 cause for loss of interest in sex is being exhausted from overwork. Maybe your wife could use some help with the house or the kids, or maybe she needs her work hours cut if she's a workaholic.

 

[Paidiske]

MOD HAT ON
Since the OP has been deleted, this thread will remain closed.
MOD HAT OFF​