Why I have anger at God.

[DominicBaptiste]

So, I'm trying to follow God once again and I have been (unsuccessfully) for a while. I'm trying to turn from my sin, I'm reading the Bible even though I'm not that into it, and I'm trying to pray to God. Regarding that last one I have hit a snag. I have a lot of problems. I'm 24, have aspergers syndrome, live with my parents, don't have a job (I can't get a full time job because my mother put me on disability when I was in high school), don't have a drivers license. I have no friends (not that I'd want one because I generally can't stand people) except my family which is why I'd never move out by myself even if given the opportunity, I have been separated from God for 14 years though I've tried vociferously to get back to him. I have a degree in Criminal Justice and I'm getting another degree in paralegal, so I'm not a complete failure. And all of this poses a problem because I want something basic in my life that as the years pass it looks like I'll never have. I want a wife and children, a car, a house, a job, children, and to live a moral life. I desire strongly to have a girlfriend right now, a companion to make life more livable and have since I was old enough to like girls. I have lived a past in high school where I was treated like garbage by everyone; and I live in a family where my borderline personality suffering mother sometimes abuses alcohol and my father who (also has aspergers) sometimes gets angry enough to lay hands upon her.

What I'm saying is that I have a lot of problems and I have brought all of them to God many times over the course of many years and he has not dealt with a single one of them. I have absolutely no power over my life. I cannot get a full time job myself, I cannot attract woman on my own, I cannot make my insane parents sane. I have been robbed of everything that makes a man a man, and whats more I have no real relationship with God. I pray and pray to God and he says and does absolutely nothing. I ask what he wants me to do to come back to him and he says nothing. So then I demand that he tells me what to do and does nothing. Then I yell and curse and rail against him and he still does nothing. I ask for a girlfriend and future wife and he gives me nothing. I ask he give me guidance on what to do in my life and he says nothing. My God has never competently lifted a finger for my benefit. What times he has intervened in my life has either left me confused or did not solve the problem. I'm trying to follow God again as I've tried many times but my prayer to him today was basically "what is there to talk about? I have many problems that I keep bringing to you and you don't even show any outward signs that you are listening. So if you don't care about my problems, if you will not tell me how to return to you, if you will not help me in following you, there is nothing to talk about." There is literally nothing to talk about with an absentee God.

I'm trying to chase off girls as we speak. I went to the coffee shop, and they're all over me. What I usually tell guys who get dumped is to go to the Baptist Church because a lot of those women are looking. You can also try downloading three dating apps to your phone. Try Tinder, Plenty of Fish, and OkCupid. One time I convinced a young man not to move to the beach by telling him to download dating apps and find him an old lady with money. One of my roommates is on disability, and I helped him get a girlfriend, but after they broke up, he didn't look for a new one. A lot of these Christian sites aren't going to shoot you straight, so just keep that in mind. This is 2018, and you have to be a little tech savvy to date. Any pic you have that you can put on a dating app is fine. They're not that picky. You might even find a wife. Good luck, and God bless.

 

[dqhall]

So, I'm trying to follow God once again and I have been (unsuccessfully) for a while. I'm trying to turn from my sin, I'm reading the Bible even though I'm not that into it, and I'm trying to pray to God. Regarding that last one I have hit a snag. I have a lot of problems. I'm 24, have aspergers syndrome, live with my parents, don't have a job (I can't get a full time job because my mother put me on disability when I was in high school), don't have a drivers license. I have no friends (not that I'd want one because I generally can't stand people) except my family which is why I'd never move out by myself even if given the opportunity, I have been separated from God for 14 years though I've tried vociferously to get back to him. I have a degree in Criminal Justice and I'm getting another degree in paralegal, so I'm not a complete failure. And all of this poses a problem because I want something basic in my life that as the years pass it looks like I'll never have. I want a wife and children, a car, a house, a job, children, and to live a moral life. I desire strongly to have a girlfriend right now, a companion to make life more livable and have since I was old enough to like girls. I have lived a past in high school where I was treated like garbage by everyone; and I live in a family where my borderline personality suffering mother sometimes abuses alcohol and my father who (also has aspergers) sometimes gets angry enough to lay hands upon her.

What I'm saying is that I have a lot of problems and I have brought all of them to God many times over the course of many years and he has not dealt with a single one of them. I have absolutely no power over my life. I cannot get a full time job myself, I cannot attract woman on my own, I cannot make my insane parents sane. I have been robbed of everything that makes a man a man, and whats more I have no real relationship with God. I pray and pray to God and he says and does absolutely nothing. I ask what he wants me to do to come back to him and he says nothing. So then I demand that he tells me what to do and does nothing. Then I yell and curse and rail against him and he still does nothing. I ask for a girlfriend and future wife and he gives me nothing. I ask he give me guidance on what to do in my life and he says nothing. My God has never competently lifted a finger for my benefit. What times he has intervened in my life has either left me confused or did not solve the problem. I'm trying to follow God again as I've tried many times but my prayer to him today was basically "what is there to talk about? I have many problems that I keep bringing to you and you don't even show any outward signs that you are listening. So if you don't care about my problems, if you will not tell me how to return to you, if you will not help me in following you, there is nothing to talk about." There is literally nothing to talk about with an absentee God.

You seem more coherent than some learning disabled people I have read. Asperger's is a genetic disease and this gene might be passed to children. You should not be desperate to marry and have Asperger's afflicted children as disabled children also require government disability checks. If too many people get disability checks, benefits might be reduced by inflation growing faster than cost of living increases. Some people are not supposed to marry, but have accepted celibacy as their best path forward.

Your anger with God may be the result of your misunderstanding and not God's fault. People who were angry with God sometimes crashed and burned. If you are praying for something that might be harmful, God should not grant it. Some people who were angry with God were able to repent. Paul was furious with Christians, he had to change his attitude and occupation in his search for forgiveness. He lost his job of arresting Christians. People who do not back down from attacking God will perish.

 

[Liza B.]

So, I'm trying to follow God once again and I have been (unsuccessfully) for a while. I'm trying to turn from my sin, I'm reading the Bible even though I'm not that into it, and I'm trying to pray to God. Regarding that last one I have hit a snag. I have a lot of problems. I'm 24, have aspergers syndrome, live with my parents, don't have a job (I can't get a full time job because my mother put me on disability when I was in high school), don't have a drivers license. I have no friends (not that I'd want one because I generally can't stand people) except my family which is why I'd never move out by myself even if given the opportunity, I have been separated from God for 14 years though I've tried vociferously to get back to him. I have a degree in Criminal Justice and I'm getting another degree in paralegal, so I'm not a complete failure. And all of this poses a problem because I want something basic in my life that as the years pass it looks like I'll never have. I want a wife and children, a car, a house, a job, children, and to live a moral life. I desire strongly to have a girlfriend right now, a companion to make life more livable and have since I was old enough to like girls. I have lived a past in high school where I was treated like garbage by everyone; and I live in a family where my borderline personality suffering mother sometimes abuses alcohol and my father who (also has aspergers) sometimes gets angry enough to lay hands upon her.

What I'm saying is that I have a lot of problems and I have brought all of them to God many times over the course of many years and he has not dealt with a single one of them. I have absolutely no power over my life. I cannot get a full time job myself, I cannot attract woman on my own, I cannot make my insane parents sane. I have been robbed of everything that makes a man a man, and whats more I have no real relationship with God. I pray and pray to God and he says and does absolutely nothing. I ask what he wants me to do to come back to him and he says nothing. So then I demand that he tells me what to do and does nothing. Then I yell and curse and rail against him and he still does nothing. I ask for a girlfriend and future wife and he gives me nothing. I ask he give me guidance on what to do in my life and he says nothing. My God has never competently lifted a finger for my benefit. What times he has intervened in my life has either left me confused or did not solve the problem. I'm trying to follow God again as I've tried many times but my prayer to him today was basically "what is there to talk about? I have many problems that I keep bringing to you and you don't even show any outward signs that you are listening. So if you don't care about my problems, if you will not tell me how to return to you, if you will not help me in following you, there is nothing to talk about." There is literally nothing to talk about with an absentee God.

This will sound pat but it's really not.

Gratitude will change your heart. That's not some platitude; it's Biblical. It's woven completely through the Psalms, for one. I don't see you praising God for what He's done for you. Yes, praising.

You seem very smart. There's one. You have at least one degree. There's another. You have food to eat and a home in which to live. So there's another and another. Read through the Psalms and pray them. Ask God to show you one thing in you that needs changing. He will give you a new heart--a heart full enough with love to love another. Believe that!

 

[Celticroots]

You seem more coherent than some learning disabled people I have read. Asperger's is a genetic disease and this gene might be passed to children. You should not be desperate to marry and have Asperger's afflicted children as disabled children also require government disability checks. If too many people get disability checks, benefits might be reduced by inflation growing faster than cost of living increases. Some people are not supposed to marry, but have accepted celibacy as their best path forward.

Your anger with God may be the result of your misunderstanding and not God's fault. People who were angry with God sometimes crashed and burned. If you are praying for something that might be harmful, God should not grant it. Some people who were angry with God were able to repent. Paul was furious with Christians, he had to change his attitude and occupation in his search for forgiveness. He lost his job of arresting Christians. People who do not back down from attacking God will perish.

A comment like that portrays ignorance regarding disabilities. Learning disabilities, like any disability, are on a spectrum. Some people may require minimal help, others may require more. You may not know someone had a learning disability or any other type of disability unless they told you. I am one of them.

Second, a disability doesn’t stop anyone from having a loving relationship with a partner. I have a disability and would like a long term relationship, maybe marriage.

Third, why does it matter if a child has Asbpergers if a parent also has it? And there are healthy parents whose children have disabilities. If you have a kid with a disability the parents concern should be getting the appropriate accommodations to get through life, and that may include going on SSI or other things.

 

[aiki]

So, I'm trying to follow God once again and I have been (unsuccessfully) for a while. I'm trying to turn from my sin, I'm reading the Bible even though I'm not that into it, and I'm trying to pray to God.

Does a tree try to be a tree? Does a dog try to be a dog? Does a whale try to be whale? Obviously not. And a Christian doesn't try to be a Christian, either. One is either a child of God - a Christian - or they are not. No amount of trying can make a person a "new creature in Christ." Becoming such a person is something God does to, and for, us. And when we are given spiritual life by God and made anew, it is only then that living a life of obedience to Him is possible (and makes any sense).

2 Corinthians 5:17-18
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
18 Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ...

I have been separated from God for 14 years though I've tried vociferously to get back to him.

There is only one thing that separates us from God: our sin. What have you done to deal with your sin before God?

I want a wife and children, a car, a house, a job, children, and to live a moral life.

These aren't the things for which God made you. You exist to know and love God and to live a life of joy in Him that brings Him glory. All this other stuff - family, material things, career - are entirely beside the point of why you exist.

What I'm saying is that I have a lot of problems and I have brought all of them to God many times over the course of many years and he has not dealt with a single one of them.

If you are not one of God's children, if you aren't living a life pleasing to God, pleading with Him for help is going to reap very limited results.

Isaiah 59:1-2
1 Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, That it cannot save; Nor His ear heavy, That it cannot hear.
2 But your iniquities have separated you from your God; And your sins have hidden His face from you, So that He will not hear.

Psalms 66:18
18 If I regard iniquity in my heart, The Lord will not hear.

I pray and pray to God and he says and does absolutely nothing. I ask what he wants me to do to come back to him and he says nothing.

Not so. God has many, many things to say to you in His word, the Bible. Are you reading it, studying it, and obeying it?

2 Timothy 3:16-17
16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness,
17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Psalms 119:11
11 Your word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You!

Psalms 119:105
105 Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.

So then I demand that he tells me what to do and does nothing. Then I yell and curse and rail against him and he still does nothing.

Because you have only to look into the Bible, God's word to you, for an answer! You are yelling at Him for something He has already given to you!

I ask for a girlfriend and future wife and he gives me nothing.

He is not going to curse a woman with marriage to a man who does not know and love Him.

My God has never competently lifted a finger for my benefit.

He has made the air you breathe, the sunshine that warms your face, the food you eat, the body in which you exist. And He has done these things - and countless more besides - not because you deserved any of them, but because He is a good and gracious God.

I have many problems that I keep bringing to you and you don't even show any outward signs that you are listening.

See above.

Matthew 12:35-37
35 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things.
36 But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.
37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."

 

[wonderkins]

You have the skills to earn valuable degrees. Do you have the ability to hold down a job? I've been on state help myself. I know it can be scary to break off that ball and chain after being so used to it. But no amount of money and medical from the government could outweigh the pride and confidence you get when you're taking care of yourself.

If it were me, I would aim for the job first. Seriously, if you can work, then work. What good are degrees if you never put them to use.

And no offense, but it seems like you're less concerned about pleasing God than you are about obtaining things. Having a girlfriend will not change your heart towards God. There's a good chance that God allowed you to be in this situation so you will learn to trust him and not your flesh. Be careful that while you're venting you don't become blasphemous.

 

[Ματθαίος]

So, I'm trying to follow God once again and I have been (unsuccessfully) for a while. I'm trying to turn from my sin, I'm reading the Bible even though I'm not that into it, and I'm trying to pray to God. Regarding that last one I have hit a snag. I have a lot of problems. I'm 24, have aspergers syndrome, live with my parents, don't have a job (I can't get a full time job because my mother put me on disability when I was in high school), don't have a drivers license. I have no friends (not that I'd want one because I generally can't stand people) except my family which is why I'd never move out by myself even if given the opportunity, I have been separated from God for 14 years though I've tried vociferously to get back to him. I have a degree in Criminal Justice and I'm getting another degree in paralegal, so I'm not a complete failure. And all of this poses a problem because I want something basic in my life that as the years pass it looks like I'll never have. I want a wife and children, a car, a house, a job, children, and to live a moral life. I desire strongly to have a girlfriend right now, a companion to make life more livable and have since I was old enough to like girls. I have lived a past in high school where I was treated like garbage by everyone; and I live in a family where my borderline personality suffering mother sometimes abuses alcohol and my father who (also has aspergers) sometimes gets angry enough to lay hands upon her.

What I'm saying is that I have a lot of problems and I have brought all of them to God many times over the course of many years and he has not dealt with a single one of them. I have absolutely no power over my life. I cannot get a full time job myself, I cannot attract woman on my own, I cannot make my insane parents sane. I have been robbed of everything that makes a man a man, and whats more I have no real relationship with God. I pray and pray to God and he says and does absolutely nothing. I ask what he wants me to do to come back to him and he says nothing. So then I demand that he tells me what to do and does nothing. Then I yell and curse and rail against him and he still does nothing. I ask for a girlfriend and future wife and he gives me nothing. I ask he give me guidance on what to do in my life and he says nothing. My God has never competently lifted a finger for my benefit. What times he has intervened in my life has either left me confused or did not solve the problem. I'm trying to follow God again as I've tried many times but my prayer to him today was basically "what is there to talk about? I have many problems that I keep bringing to you and you don't even show any outward signs that you are listening. So if you don't care about my problems, if you will not tell me how to return to you, if you will not help me in following you, there is nothing to talk about." There is literally nothing to talk about with an absentee God.

Your written language is wonderful, rich and clear. You have a talent for sure. So I enjoyed reading your post from the literary point of view, but also because of your crystal honesty. I loved it, in fact.

However, God isn't your magic wand. He's not gonna do anything for you. Stop your dreams and stop wasting your anger.

Be practical. Make steps YOURSELF towards your goals. Work hard. Unless you kick yourself in the butt real hard and achieve something despite all the problems you have, nothing's ever going to happen. Doesn't matter how much you pray your head off.

God has given you a lot, which is evident even from your post. It's about time you stop whyning and blaming God and start DOING something for a change.

Tomorrow's Tuesday, not a bad day for a new beginning.

 

[Rescued One]

If you continue on the path your on, you will continue to be living off other people for the rest of your life. You will be dependent on them and your life will be struck in a rut and going no where.


In Christ Not me

Are you autistic? Do you understand the difficulties those persons face?

 

[Rescued One]

You have the skills to earn valuable degrees. Do you have the ability to hold down a job? I've been on state help myself. I know it can be scary to break off that ball and chain after being so used to it. But no amount of money and medical from the government could outweigh the pride and confidence you get when you're taking care of yourself.

If it were me, I would aim for the job first. Seriously, if you can work, then work. What good are degrees if you never put them to use.

And no offense, but it seems like you're less concerned about pleasing God than you are about obtaining things. Having a girlfriend will not change your heart towards God. There's a good chance that God allowed you to be in this situation so you will learn to trust him and not your flesh. Be careful that while you're venting you don't become blasphemous.

What good are degrees if people won't hire you? Have you known any autistic people?

 

[Rescued One]

Your written language is wonderful, rich and clear. You have a talent for sure. So I enjoyed reading your post from the literary point of view, but also because of your crystal honesty. I loved it, in fact.

However, God isn't your magic wand. He's not gonna do anything for you. Stop your dreams and stop wasting your anger.

Be practical. Make steps YOURSELF towards your goals. Work hard. Unless you kick yourself in the butt real hard and achieve something despite all the problems you have, nothing's ever going to happen. Doesn't matter how much you pray your head off.

God has given you a lot, which is evident even from your post. It's about time you stop whyning and blaming God and start DOING something for a change.

Tomorrow's Tuesday, not a bad day for a new beginning.

People can hardly give advice without having a thorough knowledge of autism and Aspergers!

 

[Ματθαίος]

View attachment 223000
People can hardly give advice without having a thorough knowledge of autism and Aspergers!

What do you know about me, my knowledge and expérience? Why on earth do you think you can talk to me in such condescending and supérieur tone? Shish.... After all, I wasn't talking to you, the All-Knowing and All-Understanding Genius... So it's not up to you to respond to my post and to judge me. Good-bye.

 

[aspie3000]

Okay, there's been some helpful posts on this page, and some not so helpful. I can do the Jordan Peterson thing and try and fix myself, this is true. But thats not really important now is it? However much I care about those things, what really needs to be done is to restore my relationship with God. I do that and everything else falls into place later. When I was 10, God withdrew his spirit from me and as I've gone on in life I have sunken deeper in deeper into sin. My anger with God comes from the fact that I've been trying to return to him. I've honestly tried turning from my sin; I've honestly tried praying to God for a new heart. The reason I rail against God is because HE WILL NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO! He will not tell me how to restore my relationship with him. This whole problem could be solved with God just talking to me and telling me how to return to him. This situation I'm in may be a punishment from God, but he has given me confusing signals on how to come back to him and he will not clarify the confusion. I just need God to tell me how to restore a relationship with him because no matter what I do he remains far from me. When I was younger the holy spirit was in me causing me to do good, and now its gone.

 

[Sabertooth]

Have you been going to church?

 

[aspie3000]

Have you been going to church?

Yes. Although its been off and on lately because my sleep schedule is screwed up.

 

[Not me]

Are you autistic? Do you understand the difficulties those persons face?

Much love in Christ, Not me

 

[Sabertooth]

Yes. Although its been off and on lately because my sleep schedule is screwed up.

Have their messages been relevant to you?
If they have been, getting there on Sundays and whatever mid-week service is available can begin to speak direction into your life. And encourage you in your faith.

Hebrews 10:25 says,
"...not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching."

 

[thesunisout]

So, I'm trying to follow God once again and I have been (unsuccessfully) for a while. I'm trying to turn from my sin, I'm reading the Bible even though I'm not that into it, and I'm trying to pray to God. Regarding that last one I have hit a snag. I have a lot of problems. I'm 24, have aspergers syndrome, live with my parents, don't have a job (I can't get a full time job because my mother put me on disability when I was in high school), don't have a drivers license. I have no friends (not that I'd want one because I generally can't stand people) except my family which is why I'd never move out by myself even if given the opportunity, I have been separated from God for 14 years though I've tried vociferously to get back to him. I have a degree in Criminal Justice and I'm getting another degree in paralegal, so I'm not a complete failure. And all of this poses a problem because I want something basic in my life that as the years pass it looks like I'll never have. I want a wife and children, a car, a house, a job, children, and to live a moral life. I desire strongly to have a girlfriend right now, a companion to make life more livable and have since I was old enough to like girls. I have lived a past in high school where I was treated like garbage by everyone; and I live in a family where my borderline personality suffering mother sometimes abuses alcohol and my father who (also has aspergers) sometimes gets angry enough to lay hands upon her.

What I'm saying is that I have a lot of problems and I have brought all of them to God many times over the course of many years and he has not dealt with a single one of them. I have absolutely no power over my life. I cannot get a full time job myself, I cannot attract woman on my own, I cannot make my insane parents sane. I have been robbed of everything that makes a man a man, and whats more I have no real relationship with God. I pray and pray to God and he says and does absolutely nothing. I ask what he wants me to do to come back to him and he says nothing. So then I demand that he tells me what to do and does nothing. Then I yell and curse and rail against him and he still does nothing. I ask for a girlfriend and future wife and he gives me nothing. I ask he give me guidance on what to do in my life and he says nothing. My God has never competently lifted a finger for my benefit. What times he has intervened in my life has either left me confused or did not solve the problem. I'm trying to follow God again as I've tried many times but my prayer to him today was basically "what is there to talk about? I have many problems that I keep bringing to you and you don't even show any outward signs that you are listening. So if you don't care about my problems, if you will not tell me how to return to you, if you will not help me in following you, there is nothing to talk about." There is literally nothing to talk about with an absentee God.

Hebrews 11:6

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him

Without faith you aren't going to get many prayers answered. Faith involves not only believing that God exists, but believing He is good and will reward you for diligently seeking Him. You have a laundry list of what you want God to do for you but what you really need God to do for you is to save you and transform you into a new person. This is called being "born again". Instead of praying for a better life, ask God to save you and transform your life the way He wants to. What you need more than anything is your sins to be forgiven and for Jesus Christ to enter your heart and make you into a new person. That is what I would be praying for.

In the meantime, are you attending a church or any Christian fellowships?

 

[wonderkins]

What good are degrees if people won't hire you? Have you known any autistic people?

View attachment 222999

I'll be honest. I'm limited on the autistic people I've known. But he doesn't say no one will hire him because of the aspergers. He says his mom signed him up for disability. He seems to want to be treated like a normal person. I don't think there's a need to jump all over everyone. He wants to work, so encourage him to work.

 

[Sabertooth]

He wants to work, so encourage him to work.

But SSI has a graded way to do that so people won't abandon their resources prematurely.

 

[wonderkins]

But SSI has a graded way to do that so people won't abandon their resources prematurely.

I understand that. But if he is able to land a job allowing him to support himself and potentially a wife in the future, then why not dump the disability and go with work? Disability in a way dictates what you can do with your life.

I have family on disability who make less than $1000 per month. You could barely find a place to rent in many places. If someone was able to get a job using degrees like the ones stated above, there's a decent chance they will at least double their income.

I was on temporary disability for 5 years of my life. It's no vacation, but I can understand the fear of letting that income and other state benefits go. There are a lot of what ifs. But in the end I found that being able to support myself and my family was infinitely better than the state doing it.

To the guy who started the thread, you are not bound to disability. If you feel you can do a job and be committed to it, and one comes along, you should do it. And people aren't all bad.