Why doesn't God heal me

[little1]

The only people I have ever encountered that cut themselves on purpose were doing it for attention because they didn't know any way to relate to people or make friends

It was generally a negative-attention seeking habit

If that is the case with you, OP, I hope you find a way to replace the habit

For a number of years it was a secret.
You are correct is saying you get something out of it. Otherwise we wouldn't do it.
(And I am 3 weeks clean)
I don't want to do it again. I believe with help I can remain clean.

Trigger warning
If you struggle with self harm
Please don't put yourself through reading this next but it's not nice for you
This is ONLY speaking of me
I'm not talking of all self abusers
Everyone is different
Self harm
Why?
What do I get out of it ? Umm

1. Cutting really does relieve emotional pain. It immediately makes me feel euphoria. The emotional heart ache leaves for a time depending on how deep the cut.

2. When I am triggered and feeling self hate. I hate myself and I cut to make myself suffer. Not nice

3. Sometimes I don't remember
In times of high stress I dissociate and lose hrs. I even get lost
That's why I'm on disability at the moment

4. It leaves a mark! They scar and it leaves your body destroyed. When I see my scars it makes my brain understand why I'm feeling emotional torment and I'm ok. I feel ok because it all makes sense. If I feel sad then I look at my scars and think that's why so it's ok your ok. Because not being able to see your pain is confusing. This justifies it in a sick way.

5. Yes it eventually gets you help. Although I don't struggle telling people I need help

As for attention most of the attention is very negative and the self harm I'm talking about isn't little, unfortunately.
I wish they were little emo marks but no ：（ where talking Chucky doll mutilation LoL stitches ugly life ruining scars
I have to wear long sleeves to church or to the shops
Most of the harm started in secret places no one sees so it took years to come out. Even then it's my pastor my mum my husband and a few close people who live with me.

And the whole internet but this is new I hope no one knows who I am. I presume most people are in another country :0

NEGATIVE EFFECTS...

I'll write them soon it's very bad and a major open door for the enemy to kill steal and destroy you and your family

 

[little1]

As I was saying

For attention? Ummm maybe over time umm but not really to be honest

I already have to much attention
I don't like it
I want to fly under the radar

Self harm is kind of like fixing a problem in secret so you don't have to bring it up. Also it's not always cutting it anything. I used to not be able to get prayer at church because I would feel emotional pain come up and I would head but the wall. Like bad like really bad.


I know what you mean with the attention thing. Maybe some do I definitely have a friend who uses it as a way of asking for help but she never really hurts herself that much it's just a means to an end.

The problem with it is obviously it's a sin
But it's highly addictive because it releases endorphins. .and it's spiritual so like any form of witch craft it's inviting demonic activity

I wish I could warn people
Tell them how much it ruined my life
Tell them to never ever ever start

 

[little1]

I feel like God can easily help me overcome behaviour like self harm. He did I was free for a year and recently relapsed. But even when free you still feel the original emotional pain.

Symptoms are easy to deal with but the actual pain and mental illness doesn't just go away.

 

[Honoluluwindow]

Do you realize that cutting yourself is a sin?

 

[Honoluluwindow]

You might be under demonic control.
Check out ariel.org and get the manuscript called "the darkness of demonism"
You need to quit kicking yourself and realize that it is the enemy who is causing this habitual sin. You can be delivered but first you must identify the problem. We battle the flesh, the world and Satan. The flesh is solved by confession. Once you've confessed to God He forgives and cleanses you. But if you never really get delivered from this particular sin then you need to focus your attention on the next battle front - Satan. The means of defeating Satan is by resisting him and applying scriptures that speak to the sin you are beholden to. Read them, meditate on them, and resist the enemy. He is causing this, not you little one.

 

[FrankDux]

Like any habit, it's best to gradually replace it, just keep trying

It creates a major amount of cognitive dissonance when we try to change something all at once

When I was a kid, (in my 40's now), I was hell-bent on destroying my body as slowly as possible, but I did it with drugs, alcohol, and hard-living

Then I switched to loathing myself vicariously, by projecting my faults to others, in my attempt to avoid responsibility for myself

Eventually I realized the world is a mirror of the self, because we don't see the world how it is, we see how we are

That was when things really changed for me

 

[little1]

yep
I agree
Changing a habit is hard
Especially when you get the pay off

But I the negative demonic stuff outweighs the stuff I was getting

And the sin is the open door for the enemy

I know and I am trying to get free

Not all at once
Self harm first
I've made my self accountable and people are helping. It's having a plan for those times
Worship, scriptures meds they need to be all ready and they are

Even this forum helps. I've shared more then ever and I feel supported

 

[little1]

prayer and deliverance is something I do know about i used to be in full time ministry with YWAM. I love prayer it used to be my life before my breakdown.
Now I still pray but it's more just worship . I'm not cleaned up enough for to much war
I just fail
ill let Jesus fight and I'll stand on His promises for healing

 

[Honoluluwindow]

Bible

I need help with my daughter...

 

[FireDragon76]

It might require changing your church or your approach to being Christian to find healing. It sounds like a lot of your church is about word-of-faith type stuff, that the sign of God's grace is in your victory over sin, in your success and accomplishments. I can't think of a more damaging teaching. Christ died for sinners and people that screw up over and over. He died because he accepts you just as you are, with all your faults. If he had it to do all over again, he would die again rather than see you punish yourself for being something you feel you cannot be.

 

[little1]

It might require changing your church or your approach to being Christian to find healing. It sounds like a lot of your church is about word-of-faith type stuff, that the sign of God's grace is in your victory over sin, in your success and accomplishments. I can't think of a more damaging teaching. Christ died for sinners and people that screw up over and over. He died because he accepts you just as you are, with all your faults. If he had it to do all over again, he would die again rather than see you punish yourself for being something you feel you cannot be.

Yes, I can see what you mean. It's a strange problem. It's not preached or taught but it's definitely manafesting in the church.
I will prayerfully look at it all.
Thank you for your encouraging words that our Lord doesn't want me to punish myself. I know this but this helped it go to the heart.

 

[Honoluluwindow]

FYI there are four periods of history of mankind that miracles were being performed. Less than 100 total years of miracles in 6000 years of human existence is hardly reason to build churches based on "healings."
If we tally up the biblical record of when God used miracles in our world there was very little of them. Because our faith is to be based upon the word of God.

Can God heal? Sure. Will He? We can't say. But He promises wisdom to get through the trials.

To a Jew wisdom did not mean Greek philosophy or higher education, it meant skillful living for God. When a trial overwhelms a believer to the point where he can no longer do the daily things necessary to be fruitful like prayer, meditation on the word, fellowship, and use of spiritual gifts, then he is lacking wisdom. Lacking an ability to skillfully live for Christ.

Ask in faith. The prayer there in James is a conditional one, we must ask without doubting that God will answer us. Then as we wait on God we count our trial to be pure joy, joy to the highest degree and then patience will produce godliness.

All things work together for good for the believers. All not some, all things.

God can use your experience to heal another's who suffers in like manner as yourself. Seek wisdom.

 

[little1]

FYI there are four periods of history of mankind that miracles were being performed. Less than 100 total years of miracles in 6000 years of human existence is hardly reason to build churches based on "healings."
If we tally up the biblical record of when God used miracles in our world there was very little of them. Because our faith is to be based upon the word of God.

All things work together for good for the believers. All not some, all things.

God can use your experience to heal another's who suffers in like manner as yourself. Seek wisdom.

I don't know if we totally agree theologically BUT
in this case it would seem you are right that churches are focussing and building their ministries off "healing and miricals" it leaves a lot of hurt sheep wandering around wandering and asking the internet why their beautiful redeemer has not healed them // makes you wander what God thinks

 

[Honoluluwindow]

I don't know if we totally agree theologically BUT
in this case it would seem you are right that churches are focussing and building their ministries off "healing and miricals" it leaves a lot of hurt sheep wandering around wandering and asking the internet why their beautiful redeemer has not healed them // makes you wander what God thinks

Miracles were not a very big part of the history of man. You had a thousand years before the flood. What miracles are recorded there? Of course some but those events were far and few between.

The casual bible student wrongly assumes that miracles are happening everywhere all the time in scripture and they weren't.

Those people attending church that came to church for emotionally sensational reasons like miracles are the seed that fell upon the rocks. They hear the gospel, get saved but do not ever get involved in deep biblical study and therefore do not take root, do not mature spirituality and therefore don't reproduce fruit as they should.

Are you in this group Lil One?
We have the ability and the promise of entering into Christ's rest in this life. We enter it by faith and by moving from the milk of the word using its nourishment and moving to the meat of God's word.

Doing the kind of sin you do or the kind I do is from our carnal nature. If we continue in these acts we are carnal believers. A believer who has been saved long enough to handle the meat of the word but does not do so will become carnal and will need to relearn the milk again. Healings is not even a milk teaching. It is nothing more than God's love and grace in action. God already healed you. You have a newborn human spirit that can not sin according to First John. When you are cutting yourself it is only cause you are not walking in the New you the newborn human spirit but are following your flesh.

God is not looking down on you saying to Himself "I can't believe she just did that again". He can believe it but He has given you victory over your flesh. Our responsibility is to identify ourselves as the newborn human spirit beings that God has created us to become. When we act out of our flesh we simply confess it to God and move on.

ariel.org

 

[reemal]

Sorry to hear that.. I went through that as well before I was christian.. Do you pray and read the bible everyday? Are you watching or listening to things that are ungodly?

 

[redblue22]

Are you telling the poor and suffering that it is their own fault?

 

[JacquelineDeane55]

While I do not believe in speaking in tongues (and neither does my church), I will be praying for you.

 

[Newsgurl]

I'm sorry to read you're going through this. I to have dealt with emotional troubles and self harm to the point of me needing stitches. I am covered with scars and I thought I was never going to find help to quit this addictions cutting and thoughts of suicide. Since I was 18 I have had 3 friends to commit suicide and the effects it has on their family and friends is unbearable. Maybe God is testing you to see how much you trust him. It took me 15 years before I quit cutting myself and I'm 26 now. Just remember the bible verse Jeremiah 29:11 where God says 'he knows the plans He has for you. Plans to prosper and not to harm you.' Just keep your head up God will find a way for you to cope with all of this and to beat your addiction of cutting. Remember God loves you and He wants to give you a future.