Why do women hate me?

[Inkachu]

Well that was quick...

SHe told me IF I you are ever in Delaware look me up and I will tell you what I thought about you but don't expect anything beyond that becuase it wont happen. I rest my case ladies and gentlemen. Women reject me before they even get to know me.

Umm..apparently, you're the one rejecting here, lol. I made an offer to meet you, a completely strange man, and you're saying no because I'm saying it won't be the beginning of a romantic relationship?

Well. Don't say a woman didn't offer.

 

[Knightlock]

She isn't rejecting you she just lives in another state

I think it was a ploy to shut me up.

Think about this...someone tells me that they will go on a date with me to tell me what they thought about me knowing that the chances are that I would be so far away that I would not be able to make good on the trip (I live 400 miles away. Like I am really going to drive all that way so I can hear someone tell me what is wrong with me.) Then tells me IF you are ever here well talk but don't expect anything beyond that.

I mean I may be unappealing to women but I am not stupid.

 

[Inkachu]

I believe I offered to go out with you with the purpose of telling you at the end of the date, what I saw that might have put women off in the past. And in my PM to you (and I don't think it's very chivalrous to post the contents of a PM on a thread, BTW)...I never said "It's not gonna happen". I just stated that if I went out with you, that was all it was going to be - me and you going out, and me telling you if I saw anything about you that might be turning women off. I mean, if God decided to smite us with chemistry, so be it. But that wouldn't be my PURPOSE in meeting you.

 

[Fremdin]

She's trying to help.

 

[Inkachu]

I think it was a ploy to shut me up.

Think about this...someone tells me that they will go on a date with me to tell me what they thought about me knowing that the chances are that I would be so far away that I would not be able to make good on the trip (I live 400 miles away. Like I am really going to drive all that way so I can hear someone tell me what is wrong with me.) Then tells me IF you are ever here well talk but don't expect anything beyond that.

I mean I may be unappealing to women but I am not stupid.

Dude, YOU said you'd take me up on the offer. As if you don't already know that people on this forum live all over the world, and the chances that I lived next door to you are very small? And YOU'RE the one who said (I don't give your location away) that you don't live too far away from me. Now you're changing your mind about that?

And I didn't say "if you are ever here we'll talk but don't expect anything beyond that". Never said that at all.

 

[Inkachu]

All right, at least it will tell me what is going on and what I am doing wrong. You're on.

Tell me how to get a hold of you and we will meet.

Please review your own quote.

 

[GQ Chris]

Wow... this guy really really wants to go on a date.

 

[Knightlock]

Dude, YOU said you'd take me up on the offer. As if you don't already know that people on this forum live all over the world, and the chances that I lived next door to you are very small? And YOU'RE the one who said (I don't give your location away) that you don't live too far away from me. Now you're changing your mind about that?

And I didn't say "if you are ever here we'll talk but don't expect anything beyond that". Never said that at all.

Okay look I am really not trying to be rude here and I am not trying to attack you in any fashion. If I come off that way I appologize but since you wanted to go into this...

First of all your location is on your public profile so I did not give any personal information away.

Second what part of the following did I not understand

I'd be happy to hang out with you if you ever decided you wanted to visit Delaware. But let me say up front that it would NOT equal anything romantic in any sense. I meant what I said; I'd go out with you and then tell you honestly (and kindly) what I thought about you. Nothing beyond that.

That sounds pretty clear cut to me.

But let's say for a moment that you were sincere if nothing else but to help me.

First of all you youself said that the chances were slim that we were going to be near each other and you knew this. Now if I were in your shoes (granted I am assuming here) I would figure that the chance that someone would take me up on the offer and drive all of the way to where I was knowing that they would waste all of the gas and miles to get there was going to be slim. What I think happened was that you were not expecting me to respond. You did not suggest a phone call (understandible considering that I don't know you) nor a ICM chat, or anything else that would have been conveient. You suggested the one thing which was going to be the most difficult.

I think that you probably were shocked that I would even agree to it which was mainly to call your bluff.

When I did what you did not expect, you put in the clause above and said well if you come down here nothing is going to happen. I mean who is going to be so stupid to drive five hundred miles to hear someone tell them a personal opinion?

Again I have nothing against you but I stand by what I say. This was an attempt to shut me up. Although I will admit you were kind enough to say that you would hang out with me (how that would happen however I don''t know since I am not aware of where your located in the the state.)

 

[GQ Chris]

WHat happened? Was there any chemistry at all? did you guys even exchange pics?

 

[Inkachu]

Well, I must say that your bitterness and cynicism toward women is standing out all over the place.

I didn't "call a bluff". I don't lie. I told you I was serious, and I was.

YOU'VE decided in your mind that I wasn't serious or was lying or something - I have no idea what's going on in your head, frankly - and that's your choice.

I said "IF" you are ever in Delaware BECAUSE you are quite far away, and I wouldn't EXPECT you to travel this far just to hang out with me. I was acknowledging the effort, time, money, etc it would take on YOUR part to do something like this, and was TRYING to be polite and not make you feel like I was going to be demanding.

How was I going to even get the opportunity to suggest a phone call or anything else, when all I got was 1 PM to you and you completely rejected my offer? You rejected me...not the other way around...let's make that clear, please.

I didn't "put in a clause" or change anything...what are you talking about? I sent you ONE PM. JUST ONE. Everything I said was in ONE PM. You can't change ONE PM. So saying that I changed something "when you did what I did not expect" is a flat out lie.

 

[Knightlock]

WHat happened? Was there any chemistry at all? did you guys even exchange pics?

She did not even suggest the idea. All she said was that if I was ever where she was at to look her up and we would hang out. There was no suggestion of exchanging anything. No pictures. No Chatroom. Just if I ever visted her state.

I really did not even get into a converstaion. SHe just told me the above with the warning the there would never be anything romantic.

I mean really, and again not to be rude but if you were in my position what would you think?

 

[Inkachu]

WHat happened? Was there any chemistry at all? did you guys even exchange pics?

I sent him a PM, saying if he decided to visit DE, we'd hang out, and that it wouldn't be considered "romantic". That was it.

Why all this hubbub is ensuing...well...I'm afraid this might be a hint of the "why I'm single" issue.

 

[Inkachu]

She did not even suggest the idea. All she said was that if I was ever where she was at to look her up and we would hand out. There was no suggestion of exchanging anything. No pictures. No Chatroom. Just if I ever visted her state.

I mean really, if you were in my position what would you think?

Only because you closed down and rejected my offer after about 2 minutes.

Please tell me how I was supposed to have a chance to suggest anything when you rejected me up front?

This is what I was talking about in my original reply to your OP...you accuse women of rejecting you, when it seems in reality that you interpret any caution or hesitation on their part as flat-out rejection, and you go into this accusatory, defensive mode where they couldn't get close to you even if they wanted to.

And if you think women on the internet are supposed to be dumping their phone numbers and personal contact info in your lap after the first PM...you need to wake up!!

 

[Knightlock]

Only because you closed down and rejected my offer after about 2 minutes.

Please tell me how I was supposed to have a chance to suggest anything when you rejected me up front?

This is what I was talking about in my original reply to your OP...you accuse women of rejecting you, when it seems in reality that you interpret any caution or hesitation on their part as flat-out rejection, and you go into this accusatory, defensive mode where they couldn't get close to you even if they wanted to.

And if you think women on the internet are supposed to be dumping their phone numbers and personal contact info in your lap after the first PM...you need to wake up!!

Look first of all I did not reject you. As I said you told me two seconds after I contacted you that there was never going to be anything romantic (not that I was expecting it, all I am telling you is that is what I took from it.)

Perhaps I misunderstood and if I did I am very sorry. No one in their right mind is going to expect someone to give out their personal information up front (if you did I would be a little suspecious) Nor do I want you to feel uncomfortible as I said I do appreciate some of the things that you said.

But you have to understand...yes there have been a lot of times where I have gone through rejection and it has made me very cautious. However perhaps I have been to judgemental. Christ said that we are supposed to not look upon each other in such a way. Again I am sorry.

So I'll tell you what, if you are sincere then let me know and I promise not to jump to conclsions

I appologize to everyone else for getting upset, I realise that none of you know and you must think that I am insane. Please understand that there is a method to my madness and it is not without good reason.

 

[Inkachu]

Nm.

 

[acropolis]

She did not even suggest the idea. All she said was that if I was ever where she was at to look her up and we would hang out. There was no suggestion of exchanging anything. No pictures. No Chatroom. Just if I ever visted her state.

I really did not even get into a converstaion. SHe just told me the above with the warning the there would never be anything romantic.

I mean really, and again not to be rude but if you were in my position what would you think?

i would think it was very kind of that woman to offer to meet me, the strange man from the internet, just to try and help me out with the problems i'd been having.

you shouldn't interpret that as a judgment on your character or some kind of rejection. if you are, it's because you have an unhealthy attitude towards women or relationships or both. i think this thread has answered your question. perhaps you should seek counseling to work through your fear and apparent anger towards women.

But you have to understand...yes there have been a lot of times where I have gone through rejection and it has made me very cautious. However perhaps I have been to judgemental. Christ said that we are supposed to not look upon each other in such a way. Again I am sorry.

you need to resolve whatever issues are making you cut people off before they have a chance to reject you, or else you will in fact never have a relationship. you'll need to risk rejection, no way around that.

and just fyi, it's bad form to defend the actions you're apologizing for. explain them, sure, but not defend them, or else you aren't really sorry, just trying to save face without actually understanding why you were in the wrong.

you should take some time and reflect on this thread, it might give you some good clues as to what is wrong.

 

[Knightlock]

Nm.

LOL I knew it... You are pulling my chain....nice try. You got me to apologize to make me look stupid. I figured that this was going to happen. Well at least I called it.


Well as I said I rest my case. She was not really sincere and it only proved my point.

 

[Knightlock]

i would think it was very kind of that woman to offer to meet me, the strange man from the internet, just to try and help me out with the problems i'd been having.

you shouldn't interpret that as a judgment on your character or some kind of rejection. if you are, it's because you have an unhealthy attitude towards women or relationships or both. i think this thread has answered your question. perhaps you should seek counseling to work through your fear and apparent anger towards women.



you need to resolve whatever issues are making you cut people off before they have a chance to reject you, or else you will in fact never have a relationship. you'll need to risk rejection, no way around that.

and just fyi, it's bad form to defend the actions you're apologizing for. explain them, sure, but not defend them, or else you aren't really sorry, just trying to save face without actually understanding why you were in the wrong.

you should take some time and reflect on this thread, it might give you some good clues as to what is wrong.

I did not say the actions was wrong. When I did apologize because I did not want to insult anyone. But from her last post my assumption was DEAD ON! She did this as a bluff in order to shut me up.

Well she got her wish as I this only proves me right. I apologized to see if she was really sincere and she was not. Bravo on a well played act, bravo.

 

[AlexeiKaramazov]

Knightlock, you could start by lowering your expectations of what women "should" do. You just had a woman agree to go out on a type of date with you, but you threw that opportunity away because you didn't feel she was going far enough by precluding any romantic involvement at the outset. My suggestion is to take what you can get (as you certainly need it), and work from there.

 

[trOlliJokinen]

Inkabink, would you meet me halfway? You can tell me what's wrong with me, I don't care. I just wanna hang out and pick your brain for a while.