why do people always make fun of virgins

[deepgreen11]

You can wear one all one likes. However, if someone asks, and the one wearing the ring goes into explicit detail about what said ring entails, I don't think it's out of line for someone else to debate it if one makes it clear what the ring represents.

It's like wearing a Star Trek teeshirt on the subway and expecting everyone to think you're awesome. Maybe some Trekkies will, but not everyone on the subway train will think your teeshirt is super-cool. Some may glare, stare, giggle, point. It's the risk one takes.
I understand that virgins are going to get made fun of. That's fine. People should be willing to accept that there are people out there who don't like the way others live, regardless of HOW one lives. If virgins aren't willing to accept some ridicule, they need to grow up.

Also, you can't always tell an engagement ring apart from a Right Hand Singlering. Unless the ring has something like "TRUE LURVE WAITS!" right across it, there's nothing to separate it from any other ring of a similar price-point. So again, there's no guarantee anyone will actually know what the ring stands for unless one makes it explicity so.
Depends on where one wears it. I'm brazen enough to wear it on the ring finger of the left hand, which some consider inappropriate. I refer to it as my "space saver, like reserved parking".


Going home to someone every evening and cooking them dinner, is not the same thing as going into explicit detail about one's sex life with their spouse in front of a trapped, uninterested audience.
right, but, at the same time, a "true lurve waits" ring automatically, to some, stirs mental imagery. To some (IMO, perverted) minds, seeing a wedding ring may make them think of recreational activities. How did this "going into explicit detail" thing come up again, anyway? If someone goes into explicit detail about their sex life chances are, again, they need a mental wake up call.


It's the hypocrisy with which the Christian public likes to call Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton a tramp based on the fact that they may have released a sex tape for press, and acting like the Jonas Brothers or Jessica Simpson aren't also profitting off their wearing Purity Rings. I can give more credit to manwhores and the Kardashians as they're well aware they're tacky and play it up in smokey eyes at 10 in the morning, than people who publicize their virginity pledge in order to sell records and act all self-righteous about it. And if we're going to accuse celebrities of leaking nude photos and sex tapes to the press for the publicity, why is it so hard to believe someone who's trying to appeal to twelve year olds isn't wearing a Purity Ring in order to appeal to the parents who will likely be buying the albums/tickets for their kids?
Here, I don't know where to go. Because you make it sound as though wearing a purity ring is automatically some kind of evil, money making move by every celebrity who does so. And I can't make that assumption. Sorry. Just can't. Because what if I became famous? Would I have to remove my purity ring just so people wouldn't think I was trying to sell more books or get more lectures? That would be a shame.

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[Trashionista]

Here, I don't know where to go. Because you make it sound as though wearing a purity ring is automatically some kind of evil, money making move by every celebrity who does so. And I can't make that assumption. Sorry. Just can't. Because what if I became famous? Would I have to remove my purity ring just so people wouldn't think I was trying to sell more books or get more lectures? That would be a shame.

I think it's curious that one would bring it up when asked. If virginity and one's sex life is supposed to be private, it just strikes me as odd that when asked, one would openly speak about it. There is a way to sidestep the issue; and while not all who take the Pledge route and are celebrities necessarily are doing it for the press, you can wear a ring and not announce what it's for. But it's rather creepy when you have celebrities who are underage especially, discussing it on a consistent basis.

Now, maybe it says more about the public when a journalist or fan would even ask the "Are you a virgin?" question of a young popstar, but it just seems in bad taste to me, to actually answer the question or to explain the purpose of "the silver band always wear." At the same time, a famous person can choose not to answer that question - there are plenty of celebrities - who, while maybe reclusive - manage not to make it well known how many sex partners they've had or whether they were virgins at the altar.

That said, do I doubt one can be a celebrity and keep a Purity Pledge? No. However, I think when you're coming out with this pledge in the midst of a major world tour, or right before your album drops... that looks a little suspicious. The timing - like Carrie Prejean declaring she's against same-sex marriage close to the Prop 8 situation, or Paris Hilton's sex tape going viral the week before The Simple Life airs - just looks a little suspicious. Both come across as examples of people trading in on their sexuality - whether it's being known for an enthusiasm for sex, or traditional/conservative views on sex - to make money.

I think it's the hypocrisy of the fact that we'll congratulate someone for making their virginity pledge very public, but then bash someone for making a sex tape public or criticize people who kiss & tell. I don't think the status of one's virginity is something anyone else needs to know besides the person one chooses to have sex with. And one's doctor.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

I don't think virginity is something to celebrate or make fun of. Virginity is simply a state of being, like having blue eyes or being male or female. It just is.

 

[EazyMack]

"I'm keeping my gender until marriage."

 

[Apollo Celestio]

Not quite, as it can be easily changed..

 

[deepgreen11]

I'd also like to add, virginity and purity are not always synonymous. As I said, I've committed to the lifestyle, wear the ring, etc, but it's a lifestyle I personally committed to, and doesn't necessarily mean that I'm a virgin. Just the lifestyle I'm choosing to live now, and not reflective of any past events. If someone asked me, no, I don't think it would be appropriate, unless we were getting married or something, then I'd want to be forward with that kind of thing. But I wanted to pull this out because I wanted to understand all of what you thought of it and where you were going with it. Thanks for allowing me that.

 

[yam]

I think it's curious that one would bring it up when asked. If virginity and one's sex life is supposed to be private, it just strikes me as odd that when asked, one would openly speak about it. There is a way to sidestep the issue; and while not all who take the Pledge route and are celebrities necessarily are doing it for the press, you can wear a ring and not announce what it's for. But it's rather creepy when you have celebrities who are underage especially, discussing it on a consistent basis.

Now, maybe it says more about the public when a journalist or fan would even ask the "Are you a virgin?" question of a young popstar, but it just seems in bad taste to me, to actually answer the question or to explain the purpose of "the silver band always wear." At the same time, a famous person can choose not to answer that question - there are plenty of celebrities - who, while maybe reclusive - manage not to make it well known how many sex partners they've had or whether they were virgins at the altar.

That said, do I doubt one can be a celebrity and keep a Purity Pledge? No. However, I think when you're coming out with this pledge in the midst of a major world tour, or right before your album drops... that looks a little suspicious. The timing - like Carrie Prejean declaring she's against same-sex marriage close to the Prop 8 situation, or Paris Hilton's sex tape going viral the week before The Simple Life airs - just looks a little suspicious. Both come across as examples of people trading in on their sexuality - whether it's being known for an enthusiasm for sex, or traditional/conservative views on sex - to make money.

I think it's the hypocrisy of the fact that we'll congratulate someone for making their virginity pledge very public, but then bash someone for making a sex tape public or criticize people who kiss & tell. I don't think the status of one's virginity is something anyone else needs to know besides the person one chooses to have sex with. And one's doctor.

Most of these famous people lie about their virginity Ex: Britney spears, she lied to the public about her virginity behold she is nothing but a ____The only one that actually save herself for marraige was Jessica simpson ,and I respect her for that.I like how Taylor Swift refuse to disgust her private life . It her private life and no one else.

 

[JonMiller]

People talk about sex all the time. It isn't some quiet thing that no one mentions.

Virgins speaking up about their virginity is just a bit of a balance. Not even near a balance in my opinion, as far more people talk about how great it is to be having sex or even to be promiscuous.

Personally, I think that while the focus on sex is a bit too much, that talking about it and being open and honest is somewhat of a good thing. Look, back when people didn't talk about it we had the repressed puritans and all sorts of bad things happening behind closed doors.

JM
(Talking about things like kids being raped/etc. It could be argued that we have bad things in the open now... obviously no choice on this earth is perfect.)

 

[JonMiller]

And obviously most people talk about who they are having sex with, although not going into details, unless the person they are having sex with needs to be on the 'down low' for some reason.

I don't see any reason why others can't say that they aren't having sex with anyone.

Really, some of you people aren't being very reasonable.

Despite many people putting in all sorts of sexual things on dating websites, when I decided to put in that I was a virgin on one, I was difficult.

Considering that that is important when looking for relationships, I really don't see how more people don't talk about it. Unless there really are very few virgins out there. Most people go into a relationship with someone with the intention of having sex well before engagement.

From Wikipedia

• 
  United States: 27.7 for men, 25.6 for women [2]

Age at first marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Yet most people start having sex in highschool.
http://www.cdc.gov/HealthyYouth/yrbs/pdf/yrbs07_us_sexual_behaviors_trend.pdf

Obviously, most people aren't virgins, and will have very different expectations about dating/etc compared to virgins. This extends even to those who don't intend to stay a virgin until marriage, as behavior will still be different.

JM
(And I speak as a not very good virgin. I am very not sexually experienced (although I think that people who won't kiss before marriage are silly, kissing is common among friends and relatives in most cultures, but I haven't even kissed much and never someone I wanted to) but my mind is not pure as it should be. I am not judging non-virgins, there were a few times where if things had gone differently I wouldn't be a virgin today.)

 

[Varik]

Well they can make fun of me being a virgin all they want, but I will also reserve the right to equally make fun of them when the little thin piece of latex that they depend on to protect them fails to do its job and they end up getting a girl pregnant, contract the clap, hepatitis, or HIV.

 

[JonMiller]

By the way, I know this isn't necessarily the best thread for it, but the median number of partners for men is 7 and women is 4 based on some recent statistics.

Average man sleeps with 7 women - Sexual health - MSNBC.com

JM

 

[cowboysfan1970]

There is the other end of the spectrum though and that's when you have somebody that is highly proud of their virginity and loves for everyone to know it. They will look down on others that they think aren't as pure as they are and their virginity becomes their identity. That person makes their virginity into an idol when you think about it. Those people I think run into real problems when they get married because then they are faced with losing the one thing that they've held up on a pedestal their whole life. Suddenly they aren't as pure in their own mind as they once were and they've lost their identity. Unfortunately I think that some churches, groups, and organizations foster and push this type of thinking among young people and it certainly doesn't do them any service in the long run. It can cause a person to become very puffed up with Pride and cause them at least some degree of sexual disfunction later in life. I think the right message to give out is that virginity isn't something to be either ashamed or proud of. It's a state that God expects us to be in until we get married. Before marriage it serves you but after marriage it is no longer of any use to you.

 

[deepgreen11]

I took another look at this thread, and it's kind of weird to me. We went from saying "Gosh, why do they make fun of the virgins?" to "Shut up about virginity! It doesn't matter that much!" It sounds as though we're speaking out of both sides of our mouths here. Is it important, or is it not? Is it public, or is it not? We follow Christ, who says to "flee from sexual immorality" yet we are saying "If you've managed to do that, fine, but don't let anyone else know." What about those who have fallen once and now are committed to purity? Being able to be an example of a "pure" lifestyle may be important to them, because to them, it may mean that Christ has brought them a long way from where they were. It's like a living testimony. And heaven forbid that we young adults could possibly be an example to the younger of our generation. If we're not supposed to talk about it, how could we be?

 

[Luther073082]

For the most part people are naturally afraid of peolpe who arn't like them.

Christ himself said that we would suffer because of his name. Now we don't suffer nearly as badly as the apostles, so lets keep that in prospective. However the world accomplishes its dominion over people's lives by peer pressure. People don't like to stand out, they want to be "normal" so they don't question as to if being "normal" is actually the most intelligent thing.

I do want to say that I'm personally not a fan of purity rings and virginity pledges. Thats because I think Christians set a double standard when they push them.

Few modern people, Christian or worldly would say that a 14 year old is old enough to decide to have sex. So if a 14 year old is not old enough to decide to have sex, what makes us think they are old enough to decide NOT to have sex until they are married? Virginity pledges in general fail because the people who take them are too young and feel peer pressure within the church to take them. (Honestly what 14 year old wants to be the only one in church who didn't take the virginity pledge? Especially if she's a girl.)

If you arn't old enough to decide to have sex, then you arn't old enough to decide on your own to not have sex until you are married.

We should teach them the truth that marriage is the only appropriate place for sexual relations in God's eyes. We should teach them all the risks of pre-marital sex. But they arn't old enough to decide on their own.

If you want virginity pledges, start passing them out to people who are in their 20's. At least then you will get people who are decently old enough to make a long term decision on how they want to live their life.

And heaven forbid that we young adults could possibly be an example to the younger of our generation. If we're not supposed to talk about it, how could we be?

Maybe. . . but think on it this way.
For every 1 person that sports a purity ring publically and then fails, it takes 20 people to wear one and succeed to make up for that. Those odds just arn't good. On top of that its never helpful if the people wearing these rings are marketed as sex symbols.
Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus for example.

 

[deepgreen11]

I do want to say that I'm personally not a fan of purity rings and virginity pledges. Thats because I think Christians set a double standard when they push them.

Few modern people, Christian or worldly would say that a 14 year old is old enough to decide to have sex. So if a 14 year old is not old enough to decide to have sex, what makes us think they are old enough to decide NOT to have sex until they are married? Virginity pledges in general fail because the people who take them are too young and feel peer pressure within the church to take them. (Honestly what 14 year old wants to be the only one in church who didn't take the virginity pledge? Especially if she's a girl.)

If you arn't old enough to decide to have sex, then you arn't old enough to decide on your own to not have sex until you are married.

We should teach them the truth that marriage is the only appropriate place for sexual relations in God's eyes. We should teach them all the risks of pre-marital sex. But they arn't old enough to decide on their own.

You've brought up an excellent point. While I personally wear a purity ring, I dislike the pushing of a purity pledge church-wide. I feel that it does put young people in a very awkward place. They should make the commitment at home, by themselves, between them and the Lord, not in a ceremony in front of the whole church (like my former church did and which i was involved in at the time--I've since made my own decision).
People don't do "mass marriages" and "mass commitments" of other kinds. It should be the person themselves, a private transaction. Then, when people ask you about your ring, you can mention a commitment to purity. But to do so church-wide is less than expedient.

 

[cowboysfan1970]

What I mean in that last post I made is that excessive pride in something, anything, is a bad thing. I'm talking about the people that basically introduce themselves like "Hi, I'm (whatever name) and I'm a virgin." They are kind of millitant about it and wear it on their sleeve and do it to either get admiration or approval from others. I think those people have a kind of twisted view on virginity, much like the majority of secular society does. Some of the more radically conservative purity groups have encouraged that kind of attitude. It's unfortunate when somebody feels like they have to hide their virginity to avoid being made into a freak but it's also unfortunate when someone makes their virginity into their identity.

 

[deepgreen11]

What I mean in that last post I made is that excessive pride in something, anything, is a bad thing. I'm talking about the people that basically introduce themselves like "Hi, I'm (whatever name) and I'm a virgin." They are kind of millitant about it and wear it on their sleeve and do it to either get admiration or approval from others. I think those people have a kind of twisted view on virginity, much like the majority of secular society does. Some of the more radically conservative purity groups have encouraged that kind of attitude. It's unfortunate when somebody feels like they have to hide their virginity to avoid being made into a freak but it's also unfortunate when someone makes their virginity into their identity.

Right. I agree with you there. I try not to make it a part of my identity in that it is not 'in my introduction', so to speak. Conversely, on my right hand I have my high school class ring, and on the left, my *other* ring. I may have seemed militant about it, mentioning it in this thread, but we were discussing this and I had a personal experience with the running the whole "Christian chastity gauntlet" and thought I should share. One who makes their virginity paramount in their identity is not letting the rest of their identity through at all, and is instead of a person, an entitled "virgin" and the rest of them is thereby unapproachable.

 

[JonMiller]

I don't even remember purity or chastity being pushed in high school era (or college).

But then, my high school at times had the highest pregnancy rate in OR. Most people were quite sexually active.

Also, I generally just didn't involve myself with others... I was sorta anti-social for that era in my life.

JM

 

[ahmunmun]

It's the hypocrisy with which the Christian public likes to call Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton a tramp based on the fact that they may have released a sex tape for press, and acting like the Jonas Brothers or Jessica Simpson aren't also profitting off their wearing Purity Rings. I can give more credit to manwhores and the Kardashians as they're well aware they're tacky and play it up in smokey eyes at 10 in the morning, than people who publicize their virginity pledge in order to sell records and act all self-righteous about it. And if we're going to accuse celebrities of leaking nude photos and sex tapes to the press for the publicity, why is it so hard to believe someone who's trying to appeal to twelve year olds isn't wearing a Purity Ring in order to appeal to the parents who will likely be buying the albums/tickets for their kids?

As a Jonas Brothers fan, I am quite shocked by your accusation especially when you're a Christian and a sister-in-Christ to those boys. Firstly, the Jonas Brothers (JB) started wearing the rings BEFORE they became famous. Joe made that vow when he was 12 and he's now 19. The other brothers made that vow to God around the same time. Even before they became very famous, they have been interviewed by reporters and never once did they stop giving glory to God for giving them the gift of music, and for being there to love them, and for getting them through the hard times. They even preached the idea of accountability, just like how the brothers were accountable to each other as they knew each other's weaknesses. How could you accuse them of publicizing their virginity for the purpose of selling records, when they have been Christians who are against pre-marital sex their whole lives? Have you ever thought that they are trying to change the world's view that single boys being virgins are abnormal, and that the truth is that God intends sex to be within a marriage only? Because of JB, several virgins I know are now speaking up against pre-marital sex, which is something they didn't have guts to do before, because it was considered "weird". When celebrities could testify for God in front of millions, it encourages us to do the same. I am just shocked that you don't seem to be siding with Christians who could do that. I pray for JB from time to time in the hope that they don't fall into temptation, and that they will continue to be the light in this dark world, and that they never be ashamed of the gospel.

By the way, I myself started wearing a purity ring because of JB. Obviously, I was against pre-marital sex before that, but I just didn't know what a purity ring was until JB came along. Why do I wear one? It's because it allows people to ask me why I have a ring on my left ring finger when I'm not married. They, of course, don't understand that a ring on the left ring finger could signify something else. Then I tell them it's a purity ring, and that they can look that up in Wikipedia if they're not familiar with the term. I stop there. I don't go into explicit details especially when I have just met the person. Some people have gone back to me, and say that they have looked up what purity ring represents, and that they admire me for my decision as there are not a lot of girls like that. This definitely opens up the door for them to consider Christianity. When they give me a positive response like that, it also opens up the door for me to go further about God and why I'm doing this for Him. So in summary, a purity ring is not showing off one's self-righteousness; it gives the opportunity to preach the gospel, and to show the world that there is a better way to live.

 

[Trashionista]

Well they can make fun of me being a virgin all they want, but I will also reserve the right to equally make fun of them when the little thin piece of latex that they depend on to protect them fails to do its job and they end up getting a girl pregnant, contract the clap, hepatitis, or HIV.

Not everyone who engages in premarital sex ends up with an STI. Furthermore, married couples having sex get pregnant in less than ideal circumstances - paging Sarah Palin.