why do people always make fun of virgins

[yam]

They always have this assumtions that people who are virgins are either unattractive as the result, they can't find a guy. For men , they are either gay. The last time, I was watching a talk show and these young kids wanted to lose their virginity because, they wanted to prove to their friends that they were hot. The media also makes fun of famous young stars who wears promise rings. How crazy is that?

 

[Rosalila]

Tis the way of the world now. Immorality is rampant. I mean we have people like Brad and Angelina being praised.

 

[Inkachu]

I'm 32 years old and have never made fun of virgins.

 

[Blank123]

because its so uncommon; you're just not cool if you're a virgin. women are in a weird position because if we are virgins we get called nasty names and if we're not we get called nasty names. Still it seems more socially acceptable to be a female virgin. A guy who is a virgin seems to be considered unmanly by secular society which i think is just sad.

yet more reason why Christians should just ignore the world's values.

 

[yam]

Tis the way of the world now. Immorality is rampant. I mean we have people like Brad and Angelina being praised.

Agree, Immorality is rampant. The more immoral u are in society the more attention and praise people seem to give u wihich is sick.

 

[cowboysfan1970]

The popular reason is because in Western societies losing your virginity is more or less the right of passage into adulthood. At least that's how a lot of people see it. Virgins are seen as timid, socially inept, sexually phobic, or holier than thou. The older the person is the more unacceptable it is. Older virgins (and by that I mean over 30) are sometimes not even respected in so called religious communities. Even some very religious people will make jokes about an older virgin behind their back and think that there's something wrong with them.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

Considering I live in a different world, the most annoying thing is if they try to act as if they are better or more experienced. Not only are you not believed when you say you couldn't care less, it even comes to pity. -_-; I'm not "older" quite yet... but by now typically most people have done it.

 

[Trashionista]

In all honesty, I think many virgins [not all] bring it upon themselves.

Example one: I don't like to have a conversation with a friend and have them say "I did _____ with my ______ last night!". This isn't generally something I'd like to imagine or picture in my mind. Just like I wouldn't want to hear that, I also don't need to hear that you've never had sex. I honestly do not care, and it's not something I need to know.

As such, if you decide to be tacky and make your sex life [or lack thereof] everyone else's business, don't be surprised if I see you on par with Paris Hilton in terms of trashiness.

I personally have no virginity-dar, so I can't tell who's a virgin and who isn't. I wouldn't make fun of someone [or more likely, call them trashy/tacky behind their back] who was a virgin and didn't broadcast it, but I think the Jonas Bros. and their Purity Rings thing is inappropriate and just as trashy as "leaked" photos and sex tapes. There's no need to make a vow public unless you're telling a potential partner. If you wouldn't announce your preferred sex position with your current flame, you shouldn't announce that you haven't had sex either [and how that includes oral, anal, whatever.]

 

[Im_A]

They always have this assumtions that people who are virgins are either unattractive as the result, they can't find a guy. For men , they are either gay. The last time, I was watching a talk show and these young kids wanted to lose their virginity because, they wanted to prove to their friends that they were hot. The media also makes fun of famous young stars who wears promise rings. How crazy is that?

When I was a virgin, I was never made fun of. People were shocked but I never received any mockery face to face.

The promise rings, I am sorry but I do not understand at all and will never be able to conceive such a notion. Not because I'm not a virgin but simply because, I wonder if it does more harm than good. If you have to wear your sexuality publically, how could that portray you? Is it that hard to actually just say no to sex instead of making public proclamations that your saving yourself for marriage? I will not mock people that do that. It's their choice, but I do think promise rings are a bit pointless to say the least.

 

[yam]

In all honesty, I think many virgins [not all] bring it upon themselves.

Example one: I don't like to have a conversation with a friend and have them say "I did _____ with my ______ last night!". This isn't generally something I'd like to imagine or picture in my mind. Just like I wouldn't want to hear that, I also don't need to hear that you've never had sex. I honestly do not care, and it's not something I need to know.

As such, if you decide to be tacky and make your sex life [or lack thereof] everyone else's business, don't be surprised if I see you on par with Paris Hilton in terms of trashiness.

I personally have no virginity-dar, so I can't tell who's a virgin and who isn't. I wouldn't make fun of someone [or more likely, call them trashy/tacky behind their back] who was a virgin and didn't broadcast it, but I think the Jonas Bros. and their Purity Rings thing is inappropriate and just as trashy as "leaked" photos and sex tapes. There's no need to make a vow public unless you're telling a potential partner. If you wouldn't announce your preferred sex position with your current flame, you shouldn't announce that you haven't had sex either [and how that includes oral, anal, whatever.]

Agree with u 100%, it like who cares if u are a virgin or not. That should be private , the whole world does have to know this.It between u ,God and ur future spouse. I keep my personal business private. I get really uncomfortable when people talk about their personal life. One of my guy friends and I was talking about something ,and he said he was saving himself for marriage . I was so embrassed when he said that, and i was like that's good. Girls should not tell their partner they are a virgin until u are in the engagement phase of the relationship.

 

[LoneSheep]

I think one big thing about people making fun of virgins is that they don't know how to communicate with them.

So much of our world is based around sexual innuendo or flirting, that dealing with someone who isn't swayed by those things becomes an alien experience.

Another thing is that sex becomes a puberty thing, so the question is always "is he/she a virgin?". It becomes a clique idea where people might go around bragging about their adventures (which is something I've experienced).

 

[deepgreen11]

I'm not so sure.

I wear a purity ring because I want to wear one. I am committed to a certain level of purity for my future spouse, for the honor of my family, for my own sanity's sake, and for the sake of my future(hopefully!) children, but I don't go around announcing it. I speak of it if I am asked about it. I wear the ring mainly for myself as a reminder of how Christ has taken me and that I am seeking to do his will when it comes to getting married and my sex life. Quite frankly, if someone takes issue with my wearing a ring, I would tell them that I could just as easily take issue with their NOT having one--it is a personal decision that I have made for a lifestyle that I personally enjoy. If someone sees my ring and decides that I am "slamming it down people's throats what my sexual activity level looks like" then they are being ridiculous. I suppose, if announcing my commitment to that lifestyle through my jewelry is wrong, then a wedding ring or other commitment symbol being worn would also be wrong. After all, who wants to know that there's a specific person you'd go home to every evening? Gross, right?

I also wanted to add, just because these people are celebrities and have purity rings doesn't mean they've touted them. If they are in the public eye, their actions and dress are going to be examined, regardless of what they actually say. When a star wears something, it gets fussed over. People ask what it means and why they continue wearing it over and over. Do you think they're just going to blush and say it means nothing to them when it does? Were they not in the public eye, the rings probably wouldn't be an issue to people. But they are. And if the world can't talk about who's sleeping with who, they're going to talk about who ISN'T. They talk. That's just what they do. The news stands would have a bulimia-style purge if material about who is with who is suddenly off the record. And I'd wager a good deal to say that at least 70 % of it is not contributed by any of the people being discussed, but gossip mavens and "observers" with nothing better to do than rattle the chains and chatter about other people's bedroom habits.

 

[kevlite2020]

I think that women aren't made fun of too badly for being virgins, as there is always the assumption that all women have had plenty of opportunities to lose it and therefore, they must just be waiting. For guys, the stigma is more that we aren't waiting for marriage and the only virgins are the ones who couldn't sweet talk a women into doing it.

On top of that, people fear what they can't understand. Someone who doesn't understand Christ, and understand how sex was created and how it's been perverted, they can't understand why someone would want to wait till marriage. So their "logical" approach is to make fun of it since it's different then their beliefs.

 

[smacarena]

They can make fun of virgins. I can make fun of kids having kids at age 15.

 

[Trashionista]

I'm not so sure.

I wear a purity ring because I want to wear one. I am committed to a certain level of purity for my future spouse, for the honor of my family, for my own sanity's sake, and for the sake of my future(hopefully!) children, but I don't go around announcing it. I speak of it if I am asked about it. I wear the ring mainly for myself as a reminder of how Christ has taken me and that I am seeking to do his will when it comes to getting married and my sex life. Quite frankly, if someone takes issue with my wearing a ring, I would tell them that I could just as easily take issue with their NOT having one--it is a personal decision that I have made for a lifestyle that I personally enjoy. If someone sees my ring and decides that I am "slamming it down people's throats what my sexual activity level looks like" then they are being ridiculous. I suppose, if announcing my commitment to that lifestyle through my jewelry is wrong, then a wedding ring or other commitment symbol being worn would also be wrong.

You can wear one all one likes. However, if someone asks, and the one wearing the ring goes into explicit detail about what said ring entails, I don't think it's out of line for someone else to debate it if one makes it clear what the ring represents.

It's like wearing a Star Trek teeshirt on the subway and expecting everyone to think you're awesome. Maybe some Trekkies will, but not everyone on the subway train will think your teeshirt is super-cool. Some may glare, stare, giggle, point. It's the risk one takes.

Also, you can't always tell an engagement ring apart from a Right Hand Singleringen. Unless the ring has something like "TRUE LURVE WAITS!" right across it, there's nothing to separate it from any other ring of a similar price-point. So again, there's no guarantee anyone will actually know what the ring stands for unless one makes it explicity so.

After all, who wants to know that there's a specific person you'd go home to every evening? Gross, right?

Going home to someone every evening and cooking them dinner, is not the same thing as going into explicit detail about one's sex life with their spouse in front of a trapped, uninterested audience.

I also wanted to add, just because these people are celebrities and have purity rings doesn't mean they've touted them. If they are in the public eye, their actions and dress are going to be examined, regardless of what they actually say. When a star wears something, it gets fussed over. People ask what it means and why they continue wearing it over and over. Do you think they're just going to blush and say it means nothing to them when it does? Were they not in the public eye, the rings probably wouldn't be an issue to people. But they are. And if the world can't talk about who's sleeping with who, they're going to talk about who ISN'T. They talk. That's just what they do. The news stands would have a bulimia-style purge if material about who is with who is suddenly off the record. And I'd wager a good deal to say that at least 70 % of it is not contributed by any of the people being discussed, but gossip mavens and "observers" with nothing better to do than rattle the chains and chatter about other people's bedroom habits.

It's the hypocrisy with which the <staff edit> public likes to call Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton a tramp based on the fact that they may have released a sex tape for press, and acting like the Jonas Brothers or Jessica Simpson aren't also profitting off their wearing Purity Rings. I can give more credit to <staff edit> and the Kardashians as they're well aware they're tacky and play it up in smokey eyes at 10 in the morning, than people who publicize their virginity pledge in order to sell records and act all self-righteous about it. And if we're going to accuse celebrities of leaking nude photos and sex tapes to the press for the publicity, why is it so hard to believe someone who's trying to appeal to twelve year olds isn't wearing a Purity Ring in order to appeal to the parents who will likely be buying the albums/tickets for their kids?

 

[BRISH]

I was such till the age of 20, but I never came across being made fun of though. That's just to say from my own experience. But, the below is what I dealt with daily:


"So much of our world is based around sexual innuendo or flirting, that dealing with someone who isn't swayed by those things becomes an alien experience."


I had some really great friends during school and after and I remain friends with many of them, but I was left out of alot of "socializing" because of the awkwardness (I guess) of the situation explained above. I never advertised it. (didnt have to/small town) Maybe it was for the best at the time though. It was difficult though to feel like the "alien" in the group in all areas just because I was the "alien" in one area.

As for the "why people make fun", I agree with the already stated that it's just not common place anymore. It's more accepted to not be. So, just don't worry about it.

 

[Trashionista]

They can make fun of virgins. I can make fun of kids having kids at age 15.

Not everyone who has sex at 15 gets pregnant in their teens or in less than ideal circumstances.

 

[EazyMack]

Kudos to the Jonas Bros. for trying to be a good example for the youth. If it sways the mind of just one person out there to save themself for marriage, the world is that much better of a place.

Of course, I never would've known about this if it weren't for this thread.

 

[EazyMack]

Not everyone who has sex at 15 gets pregnant in their teens or in less than ideal circumstances.

I do believe he was using humor as a way of getting a point across, but was not intending his remark to be taken literally.

That was my perception, anyway.

 

[smacarena]

I do believe he was using humor as a way of getting a point across, but was not intending his remark to be taken literally.

That was my perception, anyway.

Really? I was kind of hoping people would take my remark seriously. Oh well. I'm going to the garden to eat worms.