Why do I hate God so much?

[doomsayer2]

I have started meditating, just because I hate God so much. That's how bad it has gotten.

I hope you know that many professing believers do Yoga on a regular basis,as well as Tai Chi and martial arts. As for the latter one,I do believe Christ said to turn the other cheek,rather than doing a round house kick to their cheek. It's true these all stem from Eastern religions,but are certainly nothing that will condemn you to Hell,as long as you don't continue practicing it as a substitute for prayer and bible study.
As far as the specific reasons for your hatred I am not totally clear on. I'm assuming it's from all that God ALLOWS rather than what you feel He's actually bringing against you? Either way,I can relate some but it's easier for people like myself who have actually done things in life that make us more worthy of any suffering we endure,so we have a kind of martyr complex. I would simply remind you that how glorious Heaven will be our minds cannot comprehend,and therefore I don't think God is going to allow us to tiptoe through the daisies of life without a care in the world,and probably then with little care for the suffering of others. And after a lifetime of peace and contentment we get our just reward in the afterlife?? You can see how THAT is actually what's undeserved rather than what we may endure in the present.

Also realize that we may have far more in common with God than not,since He does hate those who would harm or persecute us,especially all those being killed on a daily basis in mostly Muslim regions of the world,but also perpetrated by Hindu's and Buddhists,or southeast Asia. No matter what Christians may have done in centuries past,it is almost solely them who are being persecuted in the present age. And Zachariah-2:8 says whoever harms them touches the "apple of HIS eye",or like a poke in the eye.
But Christ did say in Matthew-5 how that we are BLESSED when persecuted and we should actually rejoice--"...for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you." {Matt.-5:12}

Like it or not,suffering is the way of the true believer,unless you are fortunate enough to avoid it or live in a free country like ours. Until you are ready to take up your cross daily and follow Christs' example,you are not yet worthy to be His disciple.{Matt.-10:38}
And it's something we all struggle to do and to even accept. And many really never do in there heart,but only in what they profess.
I would only ask this one thing...why is it all those believers being persecuted and/or killed all over the world,count in all JOY to suffer for the sake of Christ's name(since His name is only thing that causes such hatred)? And throughout the centuries,all those martyrs who simply had to recant their faith in order to avoid a tortuous death,yet still refused. Why didn't they also HATE the very God they serve who was allowing it to happen? Were so many of them all brainwashed,or is it the ones who blame God for what they only imagine He is like who are deceived? You tell me...

 

[ChristianFromKazakhstan]

There is not much suffering which is actually deserved. But basically because the people of God make people suffer we tend not to blame the boss. In its history the Churches are responsible for IMHO much more than 100 million death no one blamed God for it.

source

True true true. I love you in Jesus Christ

Our Lord Jesus said, love.

100 million or a billion deaths under the name of God is not from God, because, Jesus said, love all and don't hate, don't even have bad thoughts about other people. Jesus shows us the way true God is.

 

[SkyWriting]

I think it goes back to when I was abused at a Christian school as a child. But that can't be all. I mean, I literally HATE God. It's gotten to the point that I have gotten into conspiracy theories like the New World Order and Illuminati simply because I WANT to join a devil worship organization to try to overthrow God.

I'm a 20 year old guy and I was raised in an extremely religious household. I went to Christian school from Kindergarten to 9th grade, where I was abused by the adults and bullied by the other children, to the point of receiving daily death threats. I have had low self esteem since 5, depression since 10, and been suicidal on and off since 12. I didn't start to actually hate God until I was 16 or so, a couple of years after leaving Christian school. But since then my hatred of God has just grown and grown. I've decided that God is evil, God hates me, and that I would RATHER burn in hell than go to heaven. I spend all day thinking about it. About a year ago I built a romantic relationship with one girl because she believes she is doomed to hell too. I have started meditating, just because I hate God so much. That's how bad it has gotten.

I'm not sure exactly what's caused this? Is it psychosis? My official psychiatric diagnosis is Major Depressive Disorder with psychotic features. I see demons, I go to hell in my dreams, but I find it relaxing. I love the demons. I don't do drugs that aren't prescribed (currently I am on prescribed Prozac, Abilify, and Gabapentin) I don't know what is wrong with me. Does anyone have any theological perspectives on this?

You've suffered a lot of trama that has caused your "ego" to flex it's
muscles in order to survive. Your ego is like a Bull in a China shop.

There is nothing done that can't be fixed. You may accomplish this
on your own, or with help. It's up to you.

Meditation is like exercising your "intention" muscles. No harm there.

 

[LedByTheSpirit]

I think it goes back to when I was abused at a Christian school as a child. But that can't be all. I mean, I literally HATE God. It's gotten to the point that I have gotten into conspiracy theories like the New World Order and Illuminati simply because I WANT to join a devil worship organization to try to overthrow God.

I'm a 20 year old guy and I was raised in an extremely religious household. I went to Christian school from Kindergarten to 9th grade, where I was abused by the adults and bullied by the other children, to the point of receiving daily death threats. I have had low self esteem since 5, depression since 10, and been suicidal on and off since 12. I didn't start to actually hate God until I was 16 or so, a couple of years after leaving Christian school. But since then my hatred of God has just grown and grown. I've decided that God is evil, God hates me, and that I would RATHER burn in hell than go to heaven. I spend all day thinking about it. About a year ago I built a romantic relationship with one girl because she believes she is doomed to hell too. I have started meditating, just because I hate God so much. That's how bad it has gotten.

I'm not sure exactly what's caused this? Is it psychosis? My official psychiatric diagnosis is Major Depressive Disorder with psychotic features. I see demons, I go to hell in my dreams, but I find it relaxing. I love the demons. I don't do drugs that aren't prescribed (currently I am on prescribed Prozac, Abilify, and Gabapentin) I don't know what is wrong with me. Does anyone have any theological perspectives on this?

Bro, I was just like you. Similar age, brought up Catholic. Read this. I hated God. I messed around with the occult. I have first hand experience with demons.

This next statement is what you need to understand... It is very difficult to accept. But I PROMISE you. It's in your best interest:

You are being fooled.

Just like I was. "Why is God such a tyrant, why did God make this, why did he make that?" This is evil demons tying your mind in knots. You may love these demons but they HATE you.

When/if you come to God, you will experience the greatest joy, the greatest freedom, the greatest clarity you've ever experienced. Everything will be clear to you. God is so loving and Gods plan is amazing. There is evil in the world, and God is its counterpoint. Everything good comes from God.

Please brother, I beg you. Do not ruin your life with this rebellion. I know how you feel.

My life was so bad looking back. I never thought it was. I was anxious, depressed, empty, lonely, lazy and absolutely NOTHING was happening for me. I was just tormented and had no peace. When I turned to God EVERYTHING turned around. Within a month a had a new job, a car, joy, confidence... It was insane. I'm telling you.

You end up looking back and laughing at yourself. "I thought I knew it all... How wrong I was. Thank you Lord."

Just get to know the Lord. You literally can't go wrong. God will take care of every aspect of your life. It's really amazing but I absolutely understand where you're at currently as I've been there.

There is also one thing I did that changed my life and put me on a crash course with God. It's celibacy basically. Gave me immense confidence and happiness. Google "nofap". This may seem stupid but it will change your life.

God Bless you man. I really wish you all the best and I hope you do the right thing! Please realise there is no choice here. the choice is total misery and emptiness, or; total happiness and fulfilment.

Coming to God will be the best decision ever. It won't be easy as you will be so conflicted at the start. "Look at this Christian saying 'God bless you' that's so lame, screw these idiots." These are demons. The truth will set you free.

 

[LedByTheSpirit]

You've suffered a lot of trama that has caused your "ego" to flex it's
muscles in order to survive. Your ego is like a Bull in a China shop.

There is nothing done that can't be fixed. You may accomplish this
on your own, or with help. It's up to you.

Meditation is like exercising your "intention" muscles. No harm there.

Also, ignore this guy talking about meditation and ego. All this new age stuff is nonsense. Complete waste of time. A pointless venture. Just like the occult. A great discovery is always just around the corner. You never get anything. "Just one more book, one more mantra, one more ritual, then I'll be enlightened!"

God is all there is. Meditation is an empty and dangerous practice used to create a blank slate for demons. Crowley knew this of course, which is why the first part of "magic in theory and practice" is about meditation and techniques to "still" the mind... (Create empty vessel for torturous spirits).

 

[SkyWriting]

Also, ignore this guy talking about meditation and ego. All this new age stuff is nonsense. Complete waste of time. A pointless venture. Just like the occult. A great discovery is always just around the corner. You never get anything. "Just one more book, one more mantra, one more ritual, then I'll be enlightened!"

God is all there is. Meditation is an empty and dangerous practice used to create a blank slate for demons. Crowley knew this of course, which is why the first part of "magic in theory and practice" is about meditation and techniques to "still" the mind... (Create empty vessel for torturous spirits).

The word "ego" may be newer, but the concept is not all that new age:

New Living Translation
"Look at the proud! They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked. But the righteous will live by their faithfulness to God.
English Standard Version
“Behold, his soul is puffed up; it is not upright within him, but the righteous shall live by his faith.
New American Standard Bible
"Behold, as for the proud one, His soul is not right within him; But the righteous will live by his faith.
King James Bible
Behold, his soul which is lifted up is not upright in him: but the just shall live by his faith.
Holman Christian Standard Bible
Look, his ego is inflated; he is without integrity. But the righteous one will live by his faith.

Meditation is older:

New Living Translation
One evening as he was walking and meditating in the fields, he looked up and saw the camels coming.
English Standard Version
And Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening. And he lifted up his eyes and saw, and behold, there were camels coming.
New American Standard Bible
Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening; and he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, camels were coming.

Psalm 119:15
I will meditate on Your precepts And regard Your ways.

Psalm 119:27
Make me understand the way of Your precepts, So I will meditate on Your wonders.

Psalm 143:5
I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your doings; I muse on the work of Your hands.

Psalm 145:5
On the glorious splendor of Your majesty And on Your wonderful works, I will meditate.

 

[SkyWriting]

Also, ignore this guy talking about meditation and ego. All this new age stuff is nonsense. Complete waste of time. A pointless venture.

The ideas are from scripture.

 

[ToBeLoved]

The word "ego" may be newer, but the concept is not all that new age:

New Living Translation
"Look at the proud! They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked. But the righteous will live by their faithfulness to God.
English Standard Version
“Behold, his soul is puffed up; it is not upright within him, but the righteous shall live by his faith.
New American Standard Bible
"Behold, as for the proud one, His soul is not right within him; But the righteous will live by his faith.
King James Bible
Behold, his soul which is lifted up is not upright in him: but the just shall live by his faith.
Holman Christian Standard Bible
Look, his ego is inflated; he is without integrity. But the righteous one will live by his faith.

Meditation is older:

New Living Translation
One evening as he was walking and meditating in the fields, he looked up and saw the camels coming.
English Standard Version
And Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening. And he lifted up his eyes and saw, and behold, there were camels coming.
New American Standard Bible
Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening; and he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, camels were coming.

Psalm 119:15
I will meditate on Your precepts And regard Your ways.

Psalm 119:27
Make me understand the way of Your precepts, So I will meditate on Your wonders.

Psalm 143:5
I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your doings; I muse on the work of Your hands.

Psalm 145:5
On the glorious splendor of Your majesty And on Your wonderful works, I will meditate.

All these meditations are meditating upon God and His Holiness.

So that is what you are recommending, mediating ONLY on God?

Something does not have to be new to be New Age.

 

[SkyWriting]

All these meditations are meditating upon God and His Holiness.

So that is what you are recommending, mediating ONLY on God?

Something does not have to be new to be New Age.

It's really quite simple. The mind can be thought of as a muscle. If you are "scatter brained" you may find it difficult to accomplish anything. Meditation often focuses on breathing, but this is only due to convenience. Breath makes noise and your muscles are linked to the noise, plus you can calm your erratic thoughts by increasing your oxygen saturation levels.
The three together are a convenient way to regain your thought process, and return control of your thoughts over to you. If you wish to re-focus on God, that is fine.

The point is regaining control of thoughts and "stealing" them back from anxiety, worry, and even aggression. Practice of meditation has been shown to get easier the more you practice it. So it gets easier and easier for one to regain control of their thoughts.

 

[ToBeLoved]

It's really quite simple. The mind can be thought of as a muscle. If you are "scatter brained" you may find it difficult to accomplish anything. Meditation often focuses on breathing, but this is only due to convenience. Breath makes noise and your muscles are linked to the noise, plus you can calm your erratic thoughts by increasing your oxygen saturation levels.
The three together are a convenient way to regain your thought process, and return control of your thoughts over to you. If you wish to re-focus on God, that is fine.

The point is regaining control of thoughts and "stealing" them back from anxiety, worry, and even aggression. Practice of meditation has been shown to get easier the more you practice it. So it gets easier and easier for one to regain control of their thoughts.

So I see. It has nothing to do with God, but your theory.

You proved my point.

 

[SkyWriting]

So I see. It has nothing to do with God, but your theory.You proved my point.

My bologna sandwich exists and help solve my hunger
problem, but it's not God either. There are things that
are not God. Or so it seems to us anyway.

“For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustardseed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

 

[ToBeLoved]

My bologna sandwich exists and help solve my hunger
problem, but it's not God either. There are things that
are not God. Or so it seems to us anyway.

“For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustardseed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Oh boy. Your theology is bad.

A mustard seed is not mustard. The idea behind a mustard seed is that it is a small, small thing and if our faith were even that small, that we could do something huge.

I do like the bologna sandwich, lol, but without mustard.

 

[SkyWriting]

Oh boy. Your theology is bad.
A mustard seed is not mustard. The idea behind a mustard seed is that it is a small, small thing and if our faith were even that small, that we could do something huge.
I do like the bologna sandwich, lol, but without mustard.

My theology has changed, so odds of it being perfect now, are slim.