Dear Beamishboy,
In making reference to the Protoevangelion I was not allocating it the same significance as the canonical books, but trying to illustrate how, when the Bible does not give us a definitive answer, we look to the other parts of Holy Tradition for help; and even then we do not always get a definitive answer.
The Catholic tradition derives from St. Jerome, whereas the Orthodox one is more in the Epiphanian tradition; the former attributes virginity to St. Joseph too, where the latter sees him as the father of the other children. From pretty wide reading on this topic, my only conclusion is that there is no consensus, and that people tend to come down where their own tradition has been.
One of the problems in your discussion with Thekla is that we have no explained to you that there is not necessarily a single 'Orthodox position' on some matters. The Orthodox Church tends towards an apophatic approach to theological matters: defining things, as in the manner of the Creed, by what they are not, as much as by what they are; it is also happy to maintain a variety of positions on matters not concerning our salvation - of which it holds there are bound be to be great number.
The NT brings us news of our salvation through Christ; on other matters it touches where it touches. The Greek words used can mean that St. Joseph and St. Mary were married, or it can mean they were betrothed for life; common sense might suggest they got married; common sense might suggest that if the tradition that St. Mary was bound by a vow of perpetual virginity, they did not. The problem is that there is no definitive evidence for these things in Scripture itself.
This is one of those areas where one sees the difference between the Catholic and Orthodox traditions. The former, with their Magisterium has a definitive answer for most of the questions one comes up with; this is, to those used to the Orthodox way, another manifestation of the Western scholastic tradition which we also see in the Protestant tendency to seek precise definitions on a Sola Scriptura basis. The Eastern tradition has been not to seek to define too closely where it is felt the evidence does not allow; it has also been to allow Churches and individuals to hold their own views on such matters.
There is no Orthodox equivalent of the Pope and the Magisterium, neither is there an equivalent of Sola Scriptura. We see the Scriptures as part of Holy Tradition, and we use the various parts to ensure an orthodox position on those things which matter; on other things, every Church remains free to hold what it wishes. People being what they are (which is why we all stand in need of redemption) we will all take up positions defending either the position as we understand it that our Church takes up - or, if we have no Church, the one our study of these things leads us towards.
You will find Orthodox Christians taking up a variety of positions on the question of whether there was a marriage or not; you will find all Orthodox of one opinion on the question of St. Mary's virginity, even as you will find they all agree that she was the Theotokos; both theses last positions are based upon a reading of Scripture in the Fathers as confirmed through the Councils and represented in the Liturgy.
In peace,
Anglian