Where is a good place to meet people?

[stan1472]

In heaven.

 

[MehGuy]

The edge of a river.

 

[Allen1901]

Speed Dating! "I'm on fire for the Lord!" LOL!

YouTube - House md - Speed Dating (spoiler for 6x15)

 

[lone soldier]

I'm asking for personal reasons. I don't get out much and need to know where are good places to meet people. Now that I'm done with school, I need to find some good locations or ideas of where to meet women. It's tough...

 

[SneakerPimp53]

I just assumed it meant they weren't interested in that particular person regardless of whatever perceived league you may/may not be in.

And a lot of the time that disinterest tends to be rooted in having an inflated and fictitious view of one's self. Sort of like the girl at the club that shoots down everyone who does ask her to dance, wonders why none of the guys she wants to ask are doing so, and spends the evening sitting at a table. So sure, Joe Smith might be getting his ego knocked when his sure thing says no, but end of it all they both end up sitting at a table. So really, you tell me who wins there?

 

[MacFall]

Obviously, if a girl isn't interested in guys who treat her as a consolation prize, that girl wins. You know, because she actually didn't want to date that guy anyway. Subject to your royal approval, of course, since you appear to think you can decide what a girl's true motivations are in opposition to what she thinks.

 

[SneakerPimp53]

No, it just means you aren't being grateful for the scraps that get thrown down to you from the "upper leagues". Because as we all know, people who match the world's shallow, hedonistic popular culture's idea of what constitutes good qualities in other people are better than everyone else. Oh, and we also have to account for the indisputable fact that someone else's opinion of how you look sets the boundaries of whom you are and are not allowed to find attractive.

You can find anyone you want attractive, doesn't mean they're going to give you the time of day. So yeah, who you are does sit lot's of boundaries on who you are going to be able to date, it's just life.
Good looking successful people are better than the rest of us. That's why we're on a singles forum and they're not. You can try to make the sour grapes sound "deep" or whatever by saying standard definitions of attractive qualities are "shallow." But shallow or otherwise, the world is what it is and that's a big totem pole. We all get to pick from whatever those on the higher rungs didn't want. So you can do that, or you can whine about not having the same choices and end up with nothing. Your call buddy, but I've got a date tonight. How about you?

 

[MacFall]

Good looking successful people are better than the rest of us.

That is the most disgusting thing I've seen you say on these forums, and you're running up quite a list.

Read the parable of the Good Samaritan, or any of the verses about what God considers to be "good", then get back to me. Because I give the world's opinion about as much consideration as I'd give to a fart.

 

[lone soldier]

You can find anyone you want attractive, doesn't mean they're going to give you the time of day. So yeah, who you are does sit lot's of boundaries on who you are going to be able to date, it's just life.
Good looking successful people are better than the rest of us. That's why we're on a singles forum and they're not. You can try to make the sour grapes sound "deep" or whatever by saying standard definitions of attractive qualities are "shallow." But shallow or otherwise, the world is what it is and that's a big totem pole. We all get to pick from whatever those on the higher rungs didn't want. So you can do that, or you can whine about not having the same choices and end up with nothing. Your call buddy, but I've got a date tonight. How about you?

Not necessarily.

I agree, good looking people do well in with the opposite sex. Duh! 2 + 2 = 4 too! Amazing revelation, huh?

But the fact is, you don't know what *I* look like. I think I'm pretty good looking and have ample evidence to back that up. Not to be arrogant, but it is true. However, one can be single for any NUMBER of reasons; fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of success, lack of social skills, self-limiting beliefs, believing you will never find anyone (be it done unto you according to your faith), and a whole host of other reasons. I don't think my singleness is in ANY way related to my looks. In fact, I think it's quite the puzzling thing, really. I imagine most people look at me and think, "Surely he's taken." Or if they don't, "How on earth is that handsome guy NOT taken?!" Well, maybe they don't know what I'm like on the inside!

So don't be an ass-umer and think that everyone here is ugly. Or even average looking. Looks matter only minutely for men anyway. If you're a woman, they matter a bit more. But that doesn't mean everyone here is a leper. Don't assume.

In closing. I'm at the top of your so-called totem pole (or near the top) and it doesn't do me any good. Why? Maybe God is punishing me? Maybe I'm too timid with women, maybe I'm an idiot with a lot of negative beliefs about my future.

And while I don't totally disagree with leagues, I think it's laughable to say that one is "bound" by a league. How many 4s and 5s have I seen with 9s and higher (of both sexes!) You assume beyond your ken.

 

[benf]

A better question is how to become more sociable or interesting. After you get that down, it's pretty easy. You meet people everywhere.



A big tip that I haven't seen discussed or mentioned: friends. Having a group exposes you to things you normally wouldn't know about or think about. Go to places or stores you might not think to. Get into conversations or hobbies that once might have bored or bothered you.

As for the becoming more sociable, just practice being honest is all there is to it. Think about places to make good observational jokes/icebreakers, and work on getting down that personality formula of "interesting/funny/unqiue" that makes people pay attention to who is talking, not just what they are saying.


Also the fat comment earlier in this thread was stupid. It assumes that somebody who is lonely is overlooking people he doesn't deem worthy of his interest. This is a revealing and silly assumption.

 

[Rhye]

This thread makes me laugh, because people are silly.



lone soldier, you don't dance either?
I am so disappointed with the world. =p

I totally agree, people are everywhere. But striking up conversations with complete strangers, especially attractive women, is a problem. I feel like I am bothering them so I don't do it.

I really do like what acropolis said in his response to this statement, but I like to mention that I know a lot of very attractive women who feel "sad" or "upset" (whatever the word) when they notice a guy wanting to make conversation but ends up either walking away or ignoring. I don't believe they would ever find you bothering them if you ever did. And I also don't believe being attractive gives someone the right to say they will be bothered or not if one does try to talk to them.

 

[traingosorry]

Where I am social media is very big, in particular Twitter. There are many different kinds of events called 'Tweetups' that take place and these meetings are usually based on a particular topic of interest amongst a group of people. Lately I have been hearing stories of couples who have met this way.

Also there's a Canadian chain of cafes that has created its own social media buzz/marketing plan to generate buzz around Valentine's Day. Customers who are single can opt to have a red band around their coffee cup to send out a signal that they are single and open to being approached. Apparently the idea is so novel everyone's been flocking to their cafes. They encourage new couples to share their stories on the company Facebook page where they have a chance to win some big schazzy prize. Maybe you could initiate something a bit unique yourself in your own town.

It seems like the old way of meeting people just doesn't seem to be working any longer. People have less patience and time, and are more savvy and picky about the people they spend time with and want to know as much ahead of time.

 

[SneakerPimp53]

Not necessarily.

I agree, good looking people do well in with the opposite sex. Duh! 2 + 2 = 4 too! Amazing revelation, huh?

But the fact is, you don't know what *I* look like. I think I'm pretty good looking and have ample evidence to back that up. Not to be arrogant, but it is true. However, one can be single for any NUMBER of reasons; fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of success, lack of social skills, self-limiting beliefs, believing you will never find anyone (be it done unto you according to your faith), and a whole host of other reasons. I don't think my singleness is in ANY way related to my looks. In fact, I think it's quite the puzzling thing, really. I imagine most people look at me and think, "Surely he's taken." Or if they don't, "How on earth is that handsome guy NOT taken?!" Well, maybe they don't know what I'm like on the inside!

So don't be an ass-umer and think that everyone here is ugly. Or even average looking. Looks matter only minutely for men anyway. If you're a woman, they matter a bit more. But that doesn't mean everyone here is a leper. Don't assume.

In closing. I'm at the top of your so-called totem pole (or near the top) and it doesn't do me any good. Why? Maybe God is punishing me? Maybe I'm too timid with women, maybe I'm an idiot with a lot of negative beliefs about my future.

And while I don't totally disagree with leagues, I think it's laughable to say that one is "bound" by a league. How many 4s and 5s have I seen with 9s and higher (of both sexes!) You assume beyond your ken.

I don't want to sound like a douche here, but the reality is buddy if you were at the top of the totem pole you wouldn't be here asking "where can I meet women." Looks are a part of it, naturally. But as men go money tends to have more of an impact than looks. A big bank account goes a long way in turning a toad into prince charming.
So are social skills, and people that can't get over fear of rejection, and the like, aren't at the the top of the totem pole. After all, social skills in general life situations are often how people without any real technical skills climb the ladder in business and social structures.
I'm sure not everyone here is ugly. But I would wager large sums of money that if we could objectively pick apart the lives of everyone here the reasons for not being able to find someone would be pretty plain. It's kind of like this: if you can afford to buy a house and just don't want to you don't spend a lot of time looking at real estate magazines. It's the people that can't get whatever it is they're after that spend a lot of time window shopping and thinking about it. I've done the church singles things enough to know that a big part of it is often unrealistic expectations. So yeah, you might be better than average looking but if whoever it is you're after thinks you're a social retard it just isn't going to make that big of a difference.

 

[SneakerPimp53]

Also the fat comment earlier in this thread was stupid. It assumes that somebody who is lonely is overlooking people he doesn't deem worthy of his interest. This is a revealing and silly assumption.

It was a joke, clarification for the humor impaired.

 

[EyesOfKohl]

Good looking successful people are better than the rest of us. That's why we're on a singles forum and they're not.

What do you call a 'Good looking successful' person?

You're comments are very degrading and insulting for people here.

There are amazing people here on the singles forum. It's a pity you'll never get to meet these kind people because before you even know them, you degrade them before your own opinion of 'Good looking successful people'.

Was not our great Mashiah just a poor carpenter and he was the greatest man to ever live on the Earth.

I'm supposing when you say 'successful', you're referring to a high paying job and owning material possessions?

Have you not heard 'Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth'?

Do you not remember when a young man approached our Mashiah about eternal life?

“All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” - Matthew 19:20-24

You will be like the young man who holds his earthly material possessions higher because of his 'success'. I say to you, think again what you have said here.

No, some people here might not have 'big successful paying jobs' in this earthly life, but people here have mighty treasures stored up in heaven awaiting them and a life of paradise with our Father.

Anyway, back to the original topic. I would recommend finding a place where people have similar interests to you. If you don't want to find people through the internet, why don't you go to some Christian concerts (If you're interested in music...) or other events? Sports.. Film festivals... I don't know what your interests are. But obviously, wherever you go, there will be different types of people.

 

[lone soldier]

I don't want to sound like a douche here, but the reality is buddy if you were at the top of the totem pole you wouldn't be here asking "where can I meet women." Looks are a part of it, naturally. But as men go money tends to have more of an impact than looks. A big bank account goes a long way in turning a toad into prince charming.
So are social skills, and people that can't get over fear of rejection, and the like, aren't at the the top of the totem pole. After all, social skills in general life situations are often how people without any real technical skills climb the ladder in business and social structures.
I'm sure not everyone here is ugly. But I would wager large sums of money that if we could objectively pick apart the lives of everyone here the reasons for not being able to find someone would be pretty plain. It's kind of like this: if you can afford to buy a house and just don't want to you don't spend a lot of time looking at real estate magazines. It's the people that can't get whatever it is they're after that spend a lot of time window shopping and thinking about it. I've done the church singles things enough to know that a big part of it is often unrealistic expectations. So yeah, you might be better than average looking but if whoever it is you're after thinks you're a social retard it just isn't going to make that big of a difference.

No argument with the money part. Although appearances of resources can always be faked. For me, I'm a walking mass of problems at the moment, so I know why *I'm* here, what about you?

For me, it's mostly fears and negative beliefs holding me back. If not for that, I probably wouldn't be having a problem at all.

 

[lone soldier]

This thread makes me laugh, because people are silly.



lone soldier, you don't dance either?
I am so disappointed with the world. =p



I really do like what acropolis said in his response to this statement, but I like to mention that I know a lot of very attractive women who feel "sad" or "upset" (whatever the word) when they notice a guy wanting to make conversation but ends up either walking away or ignoring. I don't believe they would ever find you bothering them if you ever did. And I also don't believe being attractive gives someone the right to say they will be bothered or not if one does try to talk to them.

How did dancing come up...???

I like slow dancing and one day, I may take up learning ballroom, but that's about it. I'm not self-conscious-less enough to dance publicly. Since I don't drink, getting me to dance is pretty much impossible. lol

For me, it's not really a question of being afraid of what someone'll say. I know people are mostly nice and polite (Well, I believe they are anyway. Call me a humanist. ) But I am so acutely sensitive to people and their reactions that if I pick up the SLIGHTEST hint of disapproval or rejection on her part, I'll immediately shut down and think, "Why am I bothering with this?" And once that happens, it's nigh impossible for me to regain any 'game' at that point.

 

[MacFall]

Since I don't drink, getting me to dance is pretty much impossible. lol

Since it takes a few drinks before I will dance, I take that as a sign that I shouldn't do it at all. I don't know about everyone else, but my inhibitions are there for a reason.

 

[toastface_grillah]

Good thread so far, aside from some of the judgmental horse***t I've read on pages 5 and 6. Subbing.

 

[SneakerPimp53]

No argument with the money part. Although appearances of resources can always be faked. For me, I'm a walking mass of problems at the moment, so I know why *I'm* here, what about you?

For me, it's mostly fears and negative beliefs holding me back. If not for that, I probably wouldn't be having a problem at all.

I'm 29, work at Jiffy Lube, and have some lovely scars courtesy of my time in Iraq.
To an extent you can fake having money. Of course, in the long term that would fail. Even in the short term if you take a girl home in your rented BMW she's probably gonna be wondering why you have one bedroom apartment in a crumby part of town, but I digress. Unless of course the topic is more where I can I meet women and possibly get to third base in a night club, and less where can I meet a girlfriend.

Truth is though these sorts of mental issues are a far bigger deal to most women than how you look. Women are neurotic, it's just true. So when they see the same sorts of confidence issues they have in a man it's a huge turn off. Far better to be an average looking, or even sub-average, guy with confidence than be a potential male model that's a wreck in the head.

So crunch time is just this: work out your problems and then you'll meet women all sorts of places. Don't and you probably won't meet them anywhere. Well, unless you want to fish the internet dating sites for the mid-30's and highly desperate to get married type.