When her family starts asking "Where is this relationship going?"

[Stanfi]

So, I have been going out with this woman for about 4 months now. Her family has started asking her, where is this relationship going? How should I take this? She has previously been married, so it's not like their daughter has finally found someone. To be honest, it kind of freaks me out. 1.) It seems to be that we have not been togehter long enough to even consider marriage. (Assuming that is what they are thinking) or 2.) They don't think I am appropriate and hoping I will dissapear?

It's just confusing to me, any insight will be appreciated

 

[peanutbutter12]

Was she hurt in her last marriage? How long has it been? Her family is probably worried about her getting hurt.

CJ

 

[Tuffguy]

Tell your gf to handle this. Let her know upfront that she is a grown woman and needs to prevent them from 'butting-in".

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Well, my Mom asks me this at times....because I have been dating my bf for 2.5 years. She thinks that I have too high standards and am making it too hard for my guy to marry me. Of course my mom would "blame" the situation on me.

For me, since she is my Mom, I can just tell her to let it go. But, since it is her mom, you might want to consider just being truthful. If you don't know, then you just don't know. Let them know that you have their daughter's best interest at heart and are not out to hurt her, but thing must progress on first. It has only been 4 months. Not a long time for dating imo.

 

[bliz]

I'd suggest that she should smile and sweetly say "I'll let you know when we get there. I'll send you a postcard." each and every time she is asked.

 

[JVD]

I think it's a perfectly legitimate question. If you are 33 and have been dating for 4 months without any idea of where your relationship is going you better get your head together.

I know that many, make that most, people think and act the same way. That is, they get into a relationship without any idea of where it may be going.

I'm not saying you should be married, or engaged after 4 months. But there should by now have been some real serious discussions about where this relationship is going. If not, you are just leading each other on and wasting each others time.

 

[Tuffguy]

One of my engineering professors said, "if you don't know the answer, just reply 6."

 

[eatenbylocusts]

It does sound a little strange to me that the family is asking these questions. But, you should be getting an inkling of where the relationship is going. I hope the two of you have discussed a lot by now. I've been dating someone a little over 4 months (we started talking a long time ago, but didn't have a relationship until March). He asked me to marry him about 2 months ago and then we agreed to not date exclusively a few weeks back. I just got back from vacation and I'm hoping he has a bit more clarity about where our relationship is going.
Back when I was being courted by my ex I found a list of about 100 questions to ask a potential mate at a Christian book store. I wish I could find it. If you haven't done anything like that yet, you should. It could help determine your compatibility.

 

[Stanfi]

Thanks to everyone for your repsonses. Yes, I am an inkling where this relationship might be going, but time will tell as it grows. I just don't think I like everyone else making it their business.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Did their pressure in her life drive her to get married the first time? This is inexcusable.

Or are they generally concerned that she doesn't get into a mess again? This is understandable.

So I guess it is important to know her family's motivations first.