We know that homosexuality is a radically different lifestyle than heterosexuality. For example, a homosexual will feel an attraction to members of his or her gender, whereas heterosexuals feel attraction to members of the opposite sex. Also, homosexual men always seek civil unions with other men and women will always pursue a civil union with another female, whereas heterosexual men will always seek to marry women. Homosexual men feel sexually aroused towards other men. Homosexual women feel arousal towards other women. For the heterosexual, sexual arousal is always directed at the opposite sex.
There are more differences that transcend mere sociology. For example, gay men will usually act in an effeminate manner and lesbian females will usually act in a masculine way when we compare these sexes to their heterosexual counterparts. This phenomena is observed in all human communities.
I think there are differences, but your "differences" show commonalities.
You may see someone who is attractive, want to go over and talk to her, may be a little nervous because your don't want to be rejected. You finally go over, talk and get her number. Then you wonder how long you should wait to call. Then you go out, and wonder how and when you are going to kiss her, or if she wants to see you again, or if you want to see her again.
The same can happen with a gay man and another man emotionally, the same, "does he like me? Are we going to kiss? Are we going to do more than kiss? Why hasn't he called?" All of that is the same. It's just different in gender.
You also have a few stereotypes of the man being effeminate, or the lesbian being masculine, when there are very masculine gay men as well, and very feminine lesbians. You simply see the extremes, and then think that is all gay men and women.
Watch an old movie sometime. The "dandies" seem very gay by today's standards, yet not thought that at all at the time.
What is different is the simultaneous love/hate with heterosexuals. Men often try to lie to seduce women. Women often act stupid or weak to make the guy appear tough. Men often try to buy love by buying women gifts. Some women become golddiggers, in love with money, and the man is their access to it. Straight men rarely fantasize about their wedding day, but rather, dread it, try to avoid it, are often known for being commitmentphobic, while girls dream from age 4 or 5, and romanticize the wedding day like they are playing grown up Fairy Princess.
Once married, you gather for holidays, the men all in one room watching the game, and the women in the kitchen, talking about recipies, who's getting married, and who's having a baby.
Were it not for sex, I don't think straight men and women would have anything to do with each other, just like they don't when they are children.
Knowing this, I ask and often wonder why the homosexual community has yet to come out with an appropriate, consistent, suitable and legal definition of gay marriage. Could it be a lack of motivation that prevents them from defining homosexual marriage? Could it be lack of finances?
A logical answer may be that there is some king of hitherto unaddressed self-loathing; that the homosexual will not love himself until he is a part of society at last, and that being a part of society must necessarily include the hijacking of the traditional concept of marriage, but I may be wrong on this.
Can anyone on this forum explain what's wrong with the idea of gay marriage?
In Toronto, you can get married. Everyone quickly said, "So, are you guys going to get married?" I said, "You are straight and have been living with your boyfriend for 4 years. Are you going to get married ASAP?" Just because you can doesn't mean you will.
Most gays who marry are making a formal commitment to one another. The Quaker Wedding I went to was two women that have been together for 17 years.
However, I know a couple that has been together for 10 years, that has no intention of marrying. Why? Because they believe that they don't have to bow to heterosexual ideology of what is "normal". They don't have to answer to heterosexuals, who may feel that if the couple marries, at least they are monogamous and committed, which is what they view as normal.
However, even if I was to marry my partner tomorrow, many people that voted Yes on Prop 8 would still not consider me married, even though it was legal, or they might say, "well, he's not married - he's gay. He had a gay "marriage", refusing to even acknowledge it.
For that reason, many gay couples, no longer willing to answer to heterosexual society, define their own individual relationship in the way that they see fit. In Canada, you can have a marriage, or a domestic partnership, which is close in rights, and you have a choice to define it.
Personally, when I see heterosexuals arguing about the sanctity of marriage, and how gay marriage is a threat, while ignoring that divorce is the true threat that legally dissolves it, and the fact that they can't even keep their own marriages together, despite being approved by society, where gays are not, it's like listening to your neighbor telling you that it is time to cut your lawn while you see smoke coming out of this house.
