Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
I've been in my new apartment for five days, but it feels longer somehow. I feel a melancholic, wistful sort of sadness but I don't feel devastated. I miss my husband's presence, but I have no urge or inclination to go back to the house. I think it's inevitable that you'll feel the absence of someone you lived with for 8 years. At the same time, the fact that he was so isolated from the rest of the house and family for so many years makes it easier (?) to be away from him. I don't feel much at the thought of him moving on or meeting someone else. There's a sort of sadness attached to the situation as a whole, but there's no "I can't live without him, I want to go back". Not in the least. I was forced to be self sufficient and emotionally independent for so long that the transition to living on my own again feels almost the same as living in the house. My days consisted mostly of working, chores/errands, gaming with friends, and hanging out with my son. And that's what my days consist of now, just in a different living environment. My husband was hardly present in my life, by his own choices.
He and I have been able to converse civilly, which is a relief. He's agreed to stop using our joint checking account and open one of his own, so I'll be able to finally close that account and protect my own finances more. He had overdrawn it by hundreds of dollars with Amazon and gaming/computer purchases, but at least he was willing to bring the account back into the black. His spending habits are not improved. Whether they ever will improve is up to him, but they will negatively affect me less and less, and I'm very thankful for that as it was a constant source of anxiety and stress. My credit score is already coming up a little bit. God has been blessing and helping me all the way through this, including allowing me to use the Covid mortgage relief program (CARES), since my husband is now claiming he can't pay the mortgage on the house (which isn't true). I hope he will recognize the need to save his money in preparation for the house being sold, and finding his own place to live. But I will not stress over it. I'm done allowing his poor choices and lack of responsibility to create festering pits of worry and stress for me. I'm going to take care of myself like a grown woman, and he will choose to be a responsible man or not be one. If he chooses to be reckless and irresponsible, it will not drag me down with him again.
He told me that he went back to D.C. again today to buy more weed. Normally I would worry over that, too. I'm not okay with him buying illegal drugs and using them in the house, and he knows that. He also has a bad habit of getting pulled over for speeding or inattentive driving, and I'd always worry that he'd get caught with the weed and be arrested. I hated to see hundreds of our dollars going to buy drugs, too. Not my worry anymore.
He claims that one of his traffic court tickets was "dismissed" without him having to show up. That sounds a bit fishy to me. I never know when he's being honest or making things up. I would have been worried about that, too. I'm not worrying over it now. If he gets himself arrested, that's because he made poor choices.
I know there's still a very long road ahead for me. Healing and wholeness will not come overnight. I need to stay close to God, and listen to my own inner voice; something I've ignored for far too long. The future is a big, empty, scary blank right now. But I have more peace today than I've had for years.
Yes, for the next 25 minutes.Are you at work? What will you have for dinner?
Yes, for the next 25 minutes.
No idea, or Id tell my wife "Womun, git in the kitchun en fix me sum viddles."
More than likely a "ghetto grilled cheese" sammich while my wife is grossed out at the sight of a microwaved toasted cheese sammich.
You know it looks like a cheese moat....Yes, for the next 25 minutes.
No idea, or Id tell my wife "Womun, git in the kitchun en fix me sum viddles."
More than likely a "ghetto grilled cheese" sammich while my wife is grossed out at the sight of a microwaved toasted cheese sammich.
Sammiches FTW! Cheese sammies are awesome. Sometimes I just crave a sammie with cheese, lettuce, and mayo.
No, IF it were a cheese moat.... Id have nachos with my sammichYou know it looks like a cheese moat....
I would not defile a grilled or toasted cheese sammie with lettuce! But I love cold cheese sammies, tooOnly green on my sammiches are Jalapenos or Serrano peppers. Mostly either melted cheese between two pieces of toast or a mustard covered meat buffet... either way my wife says gross.
No, IF it were a cheese moat.... Id have nachos with my sammich
No, IF it were a cheese moat.... Id have nachos with my sammich
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?