What's on your mind?

[SarahsKnight]

"burger in a can". I looked it up, and apparently there is such a product commercially available.

That just sounds gross, doesn't it?

 

[bèlla]

I was watching a burger-themed episode of Chopped just now, and one of the ingredients in the entree basket was something called "burger in a can". I looked it up, and apparently there is such a product commercially available.

Good grief. Mystery meat.

 

[SarahsKnight]

That is my prayer as well. I hope you're able to catch up.

She said she is okay and no one else in her family got sick, thankfully, Miss Bella.

 

[bèlla]

Sometimes though I have an anxiety about me when going to see family that seemed to become a part of me ever since i passed my teen years or so, being in others' homes and mingling in their particular lifestyles for however a short time. I don't know exactly why or what it is but I would presume it to be because (or mostly because) of my very particular sense of cleanliness and sanitation clashing with theirs.

I understand. I'm very particular about cleanliness. I won't sit in anyone's filth and I don't like clutter. Due to differences in lifestyle, I'm not big on visiting. And I hate potluck and public restrooms.

The churches I attended had small groups. Many met in the homes of members. I'd never go. When people brought food I wouldn't eat it. I don't know how you live. That's a New Orleans thing. My family is the same.

When I talk about gatherings, I'm speaking of my home and a few with similar environments. If you've noticed, I never do homemaking threads. I considered it, but I knew I'd regret it.

Considering that the two kids are actually quite proud of the fact that they both regularly decline to wash their hands after using the bathroom despite the constant urging of their mother to do otherwise .... and they are at five and seven years old, when maybe only a toddler wouldn't know any better on something like that.

They're too old for that. She needs to discipline them. Mercy.

I hate to sound like I actually despise my own nephews or something in saying all that, but, yeah, it's difficult to be around them in particular out of all my known family, and I imagine it will stay that way for a few years more until some kind of maturity can finally kick in biologically with them ... and myself, perhaps, mentally.

You can't police them. A lackadaisical approach to their refusal could lead to sickness. They're not washing them at home or anywhere else. She needs to put her foot down.

Of course, I myself fully admit that despite the gentlemanly and humble nature I desire to attain, I just really don't think I am cut out to raise children of my own, anyway. I can't imagine it.

I get it. I wanted one. She's enough. I was a hands-on parent. My understanding of human nature was instrumental in preventing mishaps and steering her clear of the wrong influences. She was a good kid. I want the same from her companion. Someone who had a healthy start.

This is also why I acknowledge that it might always not be the Lord's will for me to actually marry at all, as if nothing else there's probably relatively few ladies out there that would be fine with declining to ever bear children and staying just as a couple, but not raising an entire family. Which I can certainly understand if they decline marriage for that reason with a certain guy.

Child-free couples are increasing. Some people shouldn't have children. They're too damaged or lack the maturity and willingness to invest in someone's care. We have enough troubled souls in the world without adding more to the pool.

I've encountered Christian women who don't want children. For various reasons. It would take an exceptional situation for me to do it again. The physical and spiritual DNA would have to mesh. We'd need to be on the same page in key areas or I wouldn't do it. Little Miss is one of a kind. I'm too old for a hellion.

Society is at a point where sheltering is a must during impressionable periods. To preserve their innocence. They have the rest of their lives to encounter the muck. I'm a huge proponent for allowing children to be children. I don't enjoy seeing them with 'grown folks problems' or awareness at tender ages. It taints them.

I think I'll marry. But I want a wise companion. I don't want someone with a lot of theology and no practical sense. Being here showed me the pros and cons of belief and where it leads. The comment you quoted (last night) exemplified that desire. The insight (from the source) was deep and on point. That's what you need to navigate today's world.

I'm not being challenged or stretched. It's been a long time since something blew my mind or made me chew on a truth and run with it. Not a book or an article. Just a line or two that flips a switch. The wheels are turning and you're flowing. It feels like a click click in my head and I love it.

Musings are good. We'll be fine.

 

[GoodLightSJ]

I need to get me a Dunkin Donuts breakfast ASAP . . .

 

[SarahsKnight]

She needs to discipline them. Mercy.

She needs to discipline them. Mercy.

Believe me, she tried ... constantly. I mean, despite my sister's being pretty liberal (which people tend to immediately associate with being the "too soft" type parents who consider even the lightest forms of spanking to be child abuse), I thought she sounded pretty strict with them all the time. It's like it didn't faze them at all, though. That was another thing I found profoundly uncomfortable when around family and little kids are involved - having to listen to them act out and then get scolded, however deserving it might be. I'd rather not be around such drama. Basically another reason i feel as of now that I lack the kind of maturity needed to be a worthy parent.

Little Miss is one of a kind.

Now I have a vague memory of you saying before that you had one daughter. Is that your cute nickname for her?

I'm too old for a hellion.

Unfortunately that is how I would have to describe the two nephews as of now. Even my mother, who sure enough dons the very same persona of the stereotypical doting grandma who does nothing but spoil her precious grandkids and defend them at every turn, that my mother always criticized her mother over when my sister and I were still little, of course , actually admits to me regularly that she thinks Santi and Luca are future serial killers in the making. .... She jokes, of course, but is obviously being serious enough to implicitly admit that my sister's kids are worse behaved than either my sister or myself were at their ages. ... And this is considering that I went through a small period at three or four years old where I would wait out of sight from my sister until she seemed preoccupied enough to where she wouldn't notice me in time as I suddenly flew out of hiding and over to her, to grab her hair as I ran past and scream "hiyaaa!" O_O

It's weird, too. Just a few years ago I remember I once said on here that I thought Luca was the most chill infant I'd ever been around in the world, too. But I guess things can easily change between 1.5 and 5.5 years old.

I'm not being challenged or stretched. It's been a long time since something blew my mind or made me chew on a truth and run with it.

I hope I'm not being too presumptuous, but it sounds like you're the kind of person who needs that to happen to you every so often - in fact quite frequently, more so than most people would personally prefer, anyway - in order for you to feel content or fulfilled. ^-^

 

[SarahsKnight]

I've encountered Christian women who don't want children.

That reminded me. There was a cute young lady who was here briefly a few years ago, who went by the avatar name of KandiJo. Going by her appearance and seeming personality, I once hypothesized in a thread about "what our kids might be like if we ever married another CF Singles member" that, in combination with my own nature and DNA, she and I together would make for a trio of children who looked studious and stoic by day, with quiet bookworm mannerisms, but at night threw off their glasses and tossed aside their books in a classic anime magic-transformation move, to become crime-fighting superheroes.

 

[bèlla]

I once hypothesized in a thread about "what our kids might be like if we ever married another CF Singles member" that, in combination with my own nature and DNA, she and I together would make for a trio of children who looked studious and stoic by day, with quiet bookworm mannerisms, but at night threw off their glasses and tossed aside their books in a classic anime magic-transformation move, to become crime-fighting superheroes.

That reminds me of the Umbrella Academy. I need to watch the second season. You should have a been a writer.

 

[bèlla]

I hope I'm not being too presumptuous, but it sounds like you're the kind of person who needs that to happen to you every so often - in fact quite frequently, more so than most people would personally prefer, anyway - in order for you to feel content or fulfilled. ^-^

I am opposed to wasting what God has given. There are many who wish they were in our shoes. We take a lot for granted. To neglect the gifts and talents He bestowed and allow them to languish is wrong in my mind.

He's given me much. I use it copiously. I don't rest on my laurels. I take my sanctification seriously. The idea of confronting the Lord and knowing I failed to try and utilize the opportunities He provided is shameful. I couldn't live with that.

I won't hit 100%. But I'll die trying. Because He deserves it. He didn't give it to me for naught. Everything has a purpose.

I milk my life to the fullest. This is the only one I have. I plan to enjoy it.

 

[SarahsKnight]

You should have a been a writer.

It was a dream profession of mine when I was younger, actually. Right along with veterinarian .... and pig farmer, interestingly. The latter was likely due to my then-admiration for James Cromwell's performance as Farmer Hoggett in the legendary film Babe, the one about the sheep-herding pig. ^-^

Well, maybe some day I will finally put that agricultural science degree to better use upon divine inspiration, yes? But for now, it looks like my chemistry minor has had a bigger hand in dictating where I ended up career-wise.

Just some goofy lab tech who is greatly smitten by another wearing the same uniform in the room next door, as you so illustrated to me that day last month, with this ^-^ =>

 

[bèlla]

That was another thing I found profoundly uncomfortable when around family and little kids are involved - having to listen to them act out and then get scolded, however deserving it might be. I'd rather not be around such drama. Basically another reason i feel as of now that I lack the kind of maturity needed to be a worthy parent.

There's a sweet spot with children. From 18 months to three years is pivotal. They're learning about boundaries and expressing themselves. This is when they act out the most. You have to nip it in the bud. In two years they're off to school.

Some parents raise their children for them. Not the world. But I felt differently. Strangers aren't enamored with our children. They won't have the patience or willingness to set aside the behavior we ignore. Giving them latitude at home conditions them to expect the same elsewhere. You run into problems.

I employed a series of 'we' statements and compare and contrasts during that period. I'd tell her, we don't do that. I'd explain our perspective. When she saw children misbehaving I did the same. By the time she received the commandments at 7, the foundation was laid. She was given the law and consequence. I was serious.

That's imperative. Adolescence and teen years bring challenges to authority. If it isn't established by then, you can forget it. You'll have power struggles. I understood the downsides of permissiveness. I established boundaries early.

I used a lot of old school parenting with her. Things I experienced growing up and then some. Yes, she's Little Miss.

 

[bèlla]

that my mother always criticized her mother over when my sister and I were still little, of course , actually admits to me regularly that she thinks Santi and Luca are future serial killers in the making. .... She jokes, of course, but is obviously being serious enough to implicitly admit that my sister's kids are worse behaved than either my sister or myself were at their ages.

Some children are more willful than others. I don't agree with breaking their spirit. You have to curb and mold in the right degrees. I don't believe I'm a parental guru. I'm honest about what works and doesn't. I did a lot of soul searching during my pregnancy. I scrutinized my parents and extended family. I kept the good and discovered new solutions for the rest.

I don't hide my mistakes. I'm very candid with my daughter. I instruct her through the things I've done, her actions, or even a film. I can pull out a nugget and teach a principle from it. We had yearly themes for character. I'd reiterate the lesson through her experiences to drive it home. And have her do the same.

The purpose of all of that was the development of reason and consequences. I wanted her to consider the results before she acted. I was young once. I know how they think. I gleaned a lot from the things I saw and did.

I'm no innocent. I don't do things that stick. Nothing that would harm me or require a confession because I can't hide it. I never wanted to have those conversations with my loved ones. My aunt would tell me, you can learn a lot through other people's mistakes. She and my grandmother were the wisest of the bunch. I was close to both. They had a huge influence on me.

I don't feel children should fear their parents. But there should be an acknowledgment of respect and authority. I don't believe you can make them feel that way. You have to embody it. There's a balance of hard and soft in that. Times of firmness and love throughout. You can't be oppressive or too permissive.

I should of have had more children. I enjoy the process a great deal. Shaping and watching them bloom is inspiring. I love it.

 

[bèlla]

It was a dream profession of mine when I was younger, actually. Right along with veterinarian .... and pig farmer, interestingly. The latter was likely due to my then-admiration for James Cromwell's performance as Farmer Hoggett in the legendary film Babe, the one about the sheep-herding pig. ^-^

You're the first aspiring pig farmer I've met! How neat.

Imagination is a wonderful gift. I remember something Elizabeth Gilbert said in Big Magic. During book signings she encountered fans who admitted having the same idea she wrote about. She didn't take it seriously until she experienced it herself.

One day an idea came to mind for a book. But she dragged her feet and never wrote it. Several months later she had lunch with a friend. Her friend was excited. She was working on a project that inspired her. As she explained the idea behind it, Elizabeth was shocked. It was the identical thing she set aside.

The experience taught her a lesson about inspiration. She said it hangs around for a bit, but it won't remain there forever if left unused. The idea finds another home. I never forgot that. I knew it was true. We're part of the plan. But if you don't act, God will get someone else. Mordecai echoed the same to Esther in 4:14.

For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

I won a signed copy of the book. I held on to that lesson. It reminded me of the Parable of Talents.

He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’

But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.

You asked a question earlier. There's your answer. To strangers, I'll say I'm goal-driven. That's true. But to you, I've disclosed the root. To understand bella, you have to know the Lord. Everything I do has a purpose. There's an end goal and it relates to something about Him or a task He's given me to perform.

What drives me isn't success or spoils. It's reaching His mark. The ten, the level, etc. That's why I do what I do. When I love someone I'm all-in. I don't hold back a thing. If you want to understand my heart, look at cara.

Well, maybe some day I will finally put that agricultural science degree to better use upon divine inspiration, yes? But for now, it looks like my chemistry minor has had a bigger hand in dictating where I ended up career-wise.

If you connect the dots you'll see the pattern. There was a thread about toys. Look for similarities in yourself. I didn't realize that when I began. But over the years it became clear. Your experiences have a purpose. The good and bad. They're leading somewhere. It's up to us to pray and do the legwork to find the answers.

Just some goofy lab tech who is greatly smitten by another wearing the same uniform in the room next door, as you so illustrated me that day last month, with this ^-^

Erin has a purpose. Just like cara did. If you pay attention to our comments on my thread and consider your circumstances you may find the answer or gain insight. Readiness is a process. God provides opportunities to work things in and out of our person.

Our experiences are leading us 'to the one' we seek. They're training wheels.

 

[Tone]

Ha ha...I was just reminiscing about the incident that took place right before my last lady and I hooked up.

She hit me over the head with an empty bottle of Southern Comfort...my favorite drink. Evidently, I squeezed her hand too hard, in my inebriation...and here I thought I was being a complete gentleman.

Anyways, without missing a beat, I said, "The bottle didn't break [bleep], try it again."

I was only angry for a bit, because I knew she was somebody great.

But, I never really thought we'd get together...her being quite a few years older than I, and she being a whole different breed of woman than I was used to.


It was a very very interesting, let's just say, time in my life...plunged into a whole new existence...in a strange land...

I don't know what brought these memories upon me...or maybe I do, but just don't want to think about it too much.


Anywho,



Happy Big Bird Day my friends...stay hungry...


*She put a knife to my throat months after that...

I cant figure out why anybody would want to do that to pleasant ole me...

 

[Tone]

Okay, so I just tried this joke I made up at the dinner table and it was a hit (I may have tried it out here before, but here it goes):

What's the least wealthiest country in the world?

*I won't give the punchline without help...so...

 

[GoodLightSJ]

Poortugal?

 

[Tone]

Poortugal?

That's a great one too!

Mine is Poooland

 

[Tone]

I think Poortugal might be better!

But you know like we so po...

 

[SarahsKnight]

Imagination is a wonderful gift.

It is.

The story you told after this, about Elizabeth Gilbert, definitely rings true with me, as well.


I don't even know what to say in response to your entire post there, Miss Bella, so full of insight, and a zest for following the Lord's will and making the most out of your life, as it seemed to be. Other than this; you must be quite a lady. And Miss Cara-mia sounds like she's right there with you.

 

[SarahsKnight]

I don't agree with breaking their spirit.

I don't feel children should fear their parents.

Yes, I agree with this, to be sure there is no misunderstanding. I think the same sentiments can and should also be applied to all of our relationships to the one Father Himself. Our love for Him as His children should not be one based on fear (of what harm He might do to us if we do not accept His love for us, for instance).