What's on your mind?

[Tone]

Make sure that’s the case before you pop the question.

Why? The question itself is the siphon.

 

[bèlla]

I've not been shown on a Biblical/Spiritual level that my approach is in error.

If anything it has served as a great "vetting" tool.

The one who says yes and look to Him to make her yes...yes...will be my wife.

And we'll be blessed to live, learn, and grow together.

I hope it turns out well. You’ve chosen your course and that’s half the battle. Find a kindred spirit.

 

[Tone]

It sounds like both of you jumped the gun. If it’s real taking your time isn’t a problem. There’s no need to rush.

If it's real, would any speed stop it?

 

[Tone]

If it's real, would any speed stop it?

Only too slow gets closer to a stop, ha ha.

 

[bèlla]

Why, the question itself is the siphon.

I’m a little a different in this regard. I made the call. If it doesn’t pan out it’s on me. Not the other person. Because I made the call. I don’t focus on why they did this or that. My concern is the error in judgment. I should have made a different choice. My priority is learning from the mistake and choosing differently.

 

[Tone]

And I haven't rushed marriage, neither have you.

I'll be 42 next month. That's taking it pretty slow.

There's really no reason to delay unless one feels that heeding Apostle Paul's advice to stay single is for them.

 

[Tone]

I’m a little a different in this regard. I made the call. If it doesn’t pan out it’s on me. Not the other person. Because I made the call. I don’t focus on why they did this or that. My concern is the error in judgment. I should have made a different choice. My priority is learning from the mistake and choosing differently.

I don't believe I made a mistake in this.

But what do I know about marriage...I've never done it.

But I was on the way to.

 

[bèlla]

Only too slow gets closer to a stop, ha ha.

I’m not in a hurry. I’d rather have the right one than someone.

 

[Tone]

I’m not in a hurry. I’d rather have the right one than someone.

The right one is the one you marry.

 

[Tone]

The right one is the one you marry.

There is no divorce.

 

[bèlla]

And I haven't rushed marriage, neither have you.

There's really no reason to delay unless one feels that heeding Apostle Paul's advice to stay single is for them.

Some people are unhappy being alone. I've never been that way. Men aren't my orbit or reason for being. That's why singleness doesn't bother me. I enjoy dating too. I'm genuinely content and it's a trait I look for in a suitor.

I don't want a desperate man or one desperate to settle down. The desire is fine. But when it becomes the focus of their lives that's a problem (for me). But it may not bother others.

 

[bèlla]

The right one is the one you marry.

There's a lot of wrong ones too.

 

[Tone]

There's a lot of wrong ones too.

 

[bèlla]

.

I live my life intentionally and have few regrets. I'm not going to bend for everyone. I know that. There's little reason to form an alliance with someone who doesn't inspire the same.

 

[Tone]

Some people are unhappy being alone. I've never been that way. Men aren't my orbit or reason for being. That's why singleness doesn't bother me. I enjoy dating too. I'm genuinely content and it's a trait I look for in a suitor.

I don't want a desperate man or one desperate to settle down. The desire is fine. But when it becomes the focus of their lives that's a problem (for me). But it may not bother others.

Yeah, the understanding wasn't that we were gonna settle down, there was a whole lot of work to be done.

It was supposed to be a missional coupling.

 

[bèlla]

Yeah, the understanding wasn't that we were gonna settle down, there was a whole lot of work to be done.

It was supposed to be a missional coupling.

You're failing to recognize you made the call. No matter the result. You chose. Given the outcome, it wasn't the right choice. You can't ignore that. You shouldn't.

 

[Tone]

You're failing to recognize you made the call. No matter the result. You chose. Given the outcome, it wasn't the right choice. You can't ignore that. You shouldn't.

Could you be more specific?

 

[Tone]

All she has to do is say she's in and it's on.

 

[bèlla]

Could you be more specific?

A decision was made that required mutual agreement. You agreed on the connection and a designated outcome. The mission failed. You've put the onus in her lap. She played a part for sure. But that doesn't diminish the error of its undertaking.

You wouldn't be having this conversation if you'd chosen differently. An ability to recognize mistakes is a hallmark of good leadership. You have to own your part. Not only in what happened. But failing to recognize she wasn't the right choice. That's your responsibility.

 

[bèlla]

All she has to do is say she's in and it's on.

All you had to do is choose someone who'd do that. See the problem?