DragonFox91
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- Dec 20, 2020
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I don't try in routine activities, correct.The lack of female response is the problem. You’re not meeting women who want to connect with you. Even in routine activities. Like going to the store or grabbing coffee.
That comes down to three reasons:
A failure to take the initiative.
A failure to reciprocate.
A failure to connect.
There should NOT be a dearth of single women in small groups.If you aren’t taking action when you see someone you’re attracted to nothing will change. You said you wanted to meet someone in church. And you were told (and acknowledged) the dearth of single women in small groups.
I want to spread my net.Up until the point you believed the girl was a possibility you were fine with that. Even when you were advised to spread your net. You said no.
CorrectPeople meet prospects in different ways. When they’re out and about, pursuing hobbies, through events, work, friends, church, or through dating sites, social media, or forums.
CorrectYou’re looking for a Christian. It’s easier to start with a Christian setting if you don’t want to weed through unqualified suitors. However, as @Sophrosyne noted, most online venues saw their numbers drop when Facebook took off.
Correct, which is why trying more forums seems like a wasteThat doesn’t mean you can’t meet someone in a forum. But it isn't the place most singles hangout online. Christian or otherwise. This site is no different. Many of the women posting here are in relationships or vetting suitors. Very few have lengthy periods of singleness with no traction from the opposite sex. The issue appears to affect men more than women in the church.
Using a dating site or online source may not be your cup of tea. But your circumstances may require different solutions. If you have a hard time putting yourself forward this may be a better medium.
There should NOT be a dearth of single women in small groups.
Do you think single women should participate in small groups to avail themselves to single men? I really hope the answer is no. I hope you don’t believe we’re responsible for easing someone’s dating woes.
Of course not. That's absolutely ridiculous. I think they should be going regardless. If Christ is in their life, they should want to be going to church & attending small groups.
I agree. Since men are the ones normally to "make the first move" attractive single women likely don't have to do anything but "dress the part" when they want offers and attention, they don't need to go online or attend the "meet" markets at churches which can often be literally "littered" with more "pagans" than Christians.Small groups are a modern phenomenon. People gathered on Sundays. There was greater fellowship outside of church. We were neighborly back then and less mobile. Many remained in the same place. They had lifelong connections which enhanced their relationships.
I don’t believe anyone is required to join a small group. Some find them enjoyable. Others seek fellowship through different avenues.
I don’t think there’s a dearth of single women in church. I think the majority aren’t hanging around to socialize. Nor are they ignoring single men. They’re encountering them elsewhere.
exactly. Enter small groups.Small groups are a modern phenomenon. People gathered on Sundays. There was greater fellowship outside of church. We were neighborly back then and less mobile. Many remained in the same place. They had lifelong connections which enhanced their relationships.
Where?I don’t believe anyone is required to join a small group. Some find them enjoyable. Others seek fellowship through different avenues.
The incentive isn't to meet single menI don’t think there’s a dearth of single women in church. I think the majority aren’t hanging around to socialize. Nor are they ignoring single men. They’re encountering them elsewhere.
It doesn't matter. I'm not talking from a dating perspective. They should be going to church anyways, whether it be service, small groups, Sunday school, whatever the church does. Just like the men.I agree. Since men are the ones normally to "make the first move" attractive single women likely don't have to do anything but "dress the part" when they want offers and attention, they don't need to go online or attend the "meet" markets at churches which can often be literally "littered" with more "pagans" than Christians.
I agree. Since men are the ones normally to "make the first move" attractive single women likely don't have to do anything but "dress the part" when they want offers and attention, they don't need to go online or attend the "meet" markets at churches which can often be literally "littered" with more "pagans" than Christians.
I think they do go to churches... but avoid groups that "wolves" like to frequent entirely. I think often single women stay away form but the general service till they are married but what do I know?It doesn't matter. I'm not talking from a dating perspective. They should be going to church anyways, whether it be service, small groups, Sunday school, whatever the church does. Just like the men.
If you're talking from a dating perspective, what's their solution? Barhopping?
Things are difficult and stressful but when you see pineapple slices everywhere now on top of everything I guess it is the "new normal".Dressing the part is part of it.
Yes to all you’ve said. How are things your way?
You could be right. & that's terribly sad.I think they do go to churches... but avoid groups that "wolves" like to frequent entirely. I think often single women stay away form but the general service till they are married but what do I know?
There isn't a solution. You're either good getting dates & they pretty much walk into your lap, or you try everything & jump thru hoops & nothing changes.As fare as a dating solution... I'm at a loss for recommendations if I were to make one I would be seen as a hypocrite as I've probably been single longer than most here.
exactly. Enter small groups.
Where?
That's the point of small groups!If small groups add to your spiritual growth go to them. But you can’t expect others to do the same. They have to honor what resonates with them.
B/c straight men join sewing classesWherever they’ve determined to invest their energy. You can meet Christians everywhere if you open your mouth.
My sewing class and business groups were full of believers. As is my homemaking community. I’ve met some on Fitbit. Striking up conversations is all it takes.
I think they do go to churches... but avoid groups that "wolves" like to frequent entirely.
I think often single women stay away form but the general service till they are married but what do I know?
That would explain why if you don't marry 'young', you don't.Yes.
So there's wolves at church groups but not specialty groups. That doesn't make a lick of sense.Or stick to specialty groups for college members or women.
That's the point of small groups!
B/c straight men join sewing classes
What happens then is men & women look outside the church, find someone who's not a believer, fall for them, & get corrupted. Happens way too much.You can’t dictate someone’s spiritual practices.
?You have a one track mind.
Things are difficult and stressful but when you see pineapple slices everywhere now on top of everything I guess it is the "new normal".
I wouldn't go as far to say you don't have a chance but it is kind of like being last at an all-you-can-eat buffet you often only find what others don't like or want and reasons vary as to why some things you life just aren't there and things you don't... are. I think that most of the impulsive or the driven people end up getting connected earlier in life and deplete the single population of those ages and those who are older are often more mature and patient and picky and less desperate, essentially have no problem turning down people who for any reason just don't "click" with them. As men get older some don't want leftovers nor desire to be saddled with a fractured premade family (children) nor want the drama of a divorced woman. As you get even older the majority of attractive people have already married and have kids and those who are available have divorced and end up foolishly "seeking" number 2 from the same moldy mold as their former spouse (which likely isn't you).You could be right. & that's terribly sad.
Could explain why if you don't marry 'young', you don't have a chance after that.
I haven't figured out the balance of trying things without looking desperate as "my being myself" is often clumsy when I'm attracted to the opposite sex. Women can see through men who are desperate and often the better ones can also see "damaged" goods which more often than not those who are much older and single.... are.There isn't a solution. You're either good getting dates & they pretty much walk into your lap, or you try everything & jump thru hoops & nothing changes.
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