What's on your mind?

Same thing as always

Also I have to do bookwork for my aunt tonight. It's so snowy tho!

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I’m increasingly convinced the quality of a certain superstore is falling short. Recent searches for a hamper and double walled glass bottle are abysmal. The ratings appear good until you reach the comments.

I’ll bite the bullet and get Steele. I have their double cart and its a tank. I’ll have it forever. But the water bottle is shameful. At $40 the comments are hit or miss. We keep importing substandard goods from far off places.

DragonFox91 said:

Also I have to do bookwork for my aunt tonight. It's so snowy tho!

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Are you a bookkeeper or accountant?

Just saw this. Put them in their place.

Kanye’s Gold Digger popped up and it made me think about divorce settlements. Should one party leave with half your assets for a definitive period?

Does the possibility of financial loss encourage some to delay marriage or select from a narrow pool?

bèlla said:

That’s the part which confuses me. Why are you sharing so much? You’ve told her you’re not interested. Until she demonstrates the same you need to squash that.

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Over sharing is part of my personality. I routinely do it with strangers and even here. My brain doesn't exactly register the same way others do. When I overshare I am not necessarily having any feelings of being closer to someone. This is a complaint I've had people make platonic and romantically. They feel like they're closer to me than I actually do from my end.

If someone expresses interest and I don’t feel the same I’m upfront. I don’t befriend men who like me. It’s a conflict of interest and their wants come first. You end up with a situation where they’re waiting in the wings or being a ‘pal’ for a time.

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I have been upfront about not liking her that way. From what I can remember initially I stopped talking to her altogether. She seemed hurt by this and for a while she kept her distance. When she finally did start approaching me again I felt guilty for how I treated her previously.

I honestly thought by then whatever feelings she had for me were vanished or at least severely curtailed. I've always had a hard time understanding exactly why she'd like me so much. She's at least as tall as me (she always thought she was taller), and larger in many ways. Frankly I'd think I wouldn't be masculine enough for her.

A person who regards you as companion worthy will never see you as a friend. If they like you they’ll have the same emotional jerks you’ve seen in her. Maybe not to that degree. But it seeps out.

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I never really wanted to be her friend. I just thought we could at least be work mates who casually talk for fun. I guess I made a mistake and should have kept on ignoring her. Never had this problem before. Other women have asked me out but when I declined they respect that and went away. She's just so out of the spectrum for how an average woman behaves that she caught me off guard. Even if someone does have feelings for me I don't really have a problem being their friend as long as they're respectful about it. Which she hasn't been.

Given her behavior, I’d assume the attraction remains and would limit our discussions to work matters and non intimate discourse. She may read more into your conversations than you realize.

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Well I've mostly been doing that this week. Even called her out on some of her bad behavior. Felt good actually. Stood up for a few people she was chewing out too. She's not all bad and whatnot, I know she said she had a bad childhood. There is a part of her that cares for others and she even goes out of her way to help others.

There’s the shadow aspect of course. She gives you a lot of attention. Are you certain some part of you doesn’t enjoy it?

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The only thing I can think of is that she's gotten me to work in the more desirable parts of the building as of late, but this situation of her liking me was going on way before these uh.. positive sides kicked in. I certainly haven't strung her feelings around for them. As of late I'd rather take the worse jobs as long as I'm not near her.

I don't want to be mean to her or anything, but look wise she isn't anything to brag about. Last year there was a woman there who I believe was into me, and we spent a lot of time together and she was one woman many of the guys at work liked. I enjoyed that attention for superficial reasons. Although she was married and I do sort of feel guilty despite us not doing anything. We did use to eat out during break and take some walks. I remember other co-workers starring at us wondering if anything was going on. I feel bad for that.. even more since learning she did do something with another co-worker when I left the job and was even fired for it.

Although this rumor was first told me by the woman I am dealing with now. Although other people at work I do trust verified it.

In fact this current woman and that woman in the past hated each other. They had quite a feud. I have always gotten the sense that this horrible woman always wanted me to at least treat her as I treated that past woman.

As you guys know (if you've been paying attention) I am a Teen Challenge alumnus.

If you've ever heard of David Wilkerson and Nicky Cruz then you know the story (The Cross and the Switchblade) that it is based upon.

Believe it or not (I'm sure you will since you know by now that I am honest) my Mother committed her life to Christ at an event where they screened The Cross and the Switchblade - Wikipedia!

I just thought that this was pretty cool! I've kinda been going down my spiritual journey's memory lane.

There is a line from the book (and movie) that I really like and that has been kind of a theme over the years in how I like to relate to others:

“You could cut me up into a 1,000 pieces and lay them in the street. Every piece will still love you.”

This is what David Wilkerson said to Nicky Cruz when he pulled a knife on him and threatened to take his life. Nicky actually struck David...I think more than once.


Having been anointed with a special anointing and mission, David Wilkerson was able to see the hurt behind all of the mean faces, words, and threats and to look into the real human beings behind the hardness. Yah bless this great man and the ministry he founded!


Here's a bit more on the story, Thousand Pieces - The Story of Nicky Cruz | Northstar Church.

Also, if any want a great movie to watch, i recommend:




Heck, it's been a while since I've watched a movie...I might watch it again!


Yah bless every single one of you, and shalom.



--T1

bèlla said:

I’m increasingly convinced the quality of a certain superstore is falling short. Recent searches for a hamper and double walled glass bottle are abysmal. The ratings appear good until you reach the comments.

I’ll bite the bullet and get Steele. I have their double cart and its a tank. I’ll have it forever. But the water bottle is shameful. At $40 the comments are hit or miss. We keep importing substandard goods from far off places.

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Seems like this is happening with a lot of places. Not sure if Covid related or not.. but I think many big companies are hoping the public will accept these changes as the new normal.

Tone said:

"methinks the lady doth protest too much"

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Well I'm sorry. This problem has been going on a few years. If I just saw her every once in a while it wouldn't be a big deal and it wasn't when that was the case.. spending 40 some hours a week with her feeling uncomfortable the whole time.. yeah understandably this is on my mind a lot.

MehGuy said:

Over sharing is part of my personality. I routinely do it with strangers and even here. My brain doesn't exactly register the same way others do. When I overshare I am not necessarily having any feelings of being closer to someone.

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I don’t share anything I wouldn’t say on a stage. My closest connections are well aligned. We have an equitable degree of admissions. But I keep the worst to myself. I don’t make make heartfelt disclosures to people who’d never sign an NDA. Tenure is my litmus. I know who I can trust.

This is a complaint I've had people make platonic and romantically. They feel like they're closer to me than I actually do from my end.

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I don’t bring many to my bosom. None will exceed my family, companion, or @cara-mia.

I never really wanted to be her friend. I just thought we could at least be work mates who casually talk for fun. I guess I made a mistake and should have kept on ignoring her.

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Co-workers have a place. But I’ve never made them friends. They’re acquaintances.

Even if someone does have feelings for me I don't really have a problem being their friend as long as they're respectful about it. Which she hasn't been.

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The men I engage with understand its a one and done scenario. If we don’t connect that’s it. If we don’t hit it off nothing remains. I don’t need to pick pals from prospects.

I don’t want a pal who likes me.

MehGuy said:

Well I'm sorry. This problem has been going on a few years. If I just saw her every once in a while it wouldn't be a big deal and it wasn't when that was the case.. spending 40 some hours a week with her feeling uncomfortable the whole time.. yeah understandably this is on my mind a lot.

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That wasn’t for you.

bèlla said:

I don’t share anything I wouldn’t say on a stage. My closest connections are well aligned. We have an equitable degree of admissions. But I keep the worst to myself. I don’t make make heartfelt disclosures to people who’d never sign an NDA. Tenure is my litmus. I know who I can trust.

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Yeah. I guess I just feel what is heartfelt for some is not heartfelt coming from me. For some reason trust never enters my mind.

Co-workers have a place. But I’ve never made them friends. They’re acquaintances.

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I'm mostly with you. I don't want to hang out with them in real life, but I do enjoy spending time with them at work. As long as you don't act obnoxious around me I'm pretty friendly and open.

The men I engage with understand its a one and done scenario. If we don’t connect that’s it. If we don’t hit it off nothing remains. I don’t need to pick pals from prospects.

I don’t want a pal who likes me.

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I can understand. Especially you being a woman. Women tend to be flooded with advances, and probably have to deal with more rough characters than the average man ever will have too. If what happened to me happened all the time, I'd probably be more reserved as well.

Even given what happened to me, I don't want this experience to change my mindset. Although sadly it probably has a little.

Just had to bring in 30 heavy boxes of vinyl from the entryway, up a flight a steps, & into a bedroom. So exhausting!

bèlla said:

Are you a bookkeeper or accountant?

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I'm her bookkeeper. I went to school for accounting & do some accounting for my employer, but my job's largely health insurance.

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Tone said:

Hey, don't get me wrong...I kinda like drama queens.

Different people are built for different people.

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Then again...I don't really know what all it entails...as I am not accustomed to looking at everybody with a psychological lens.


*Sounds fun though...

Tone said:

Hey, don't get me wrong...I kinda like drama queens.

Different people are built for different people.

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I used to like that when I was younger.. too old and tired for that garbage now.

Keep in mind this is also someone that most people wouldn't be physically attracted too. Think of a woman you would never date.. and picture them starting drama with you all the time.

MehGuy said:

I used to like that when I was younger.. too old and tired for that garbage now.

Keep in mind this is also someone that most people wouldn't be physically attracted too. Think of a woman you would never date.. and picture them starting drama with you all the time.

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Well...work's definitely not boring then right?

MehGuy said:

Think of a woman you would never date.. and picture them starting drama with you all the time.

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Hmmm, my last two relationships were with women that I thought I'd never connect with.


*And was there drama at times...well, yeah...relationships do involve this from time to time.

Tone said:

Well...work's definitely not boring then right?

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I'd rather have boredom.. I like to listen to a podcast and just chill.