What's on your mind?

MehGuy said:

Just curious, but why do you like that book?

Lifetime is a pretty creepy channel. Kids shouldn't be watching half the stuff... yet housewives around the world have it on all day for everyone to see.

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The book was interesting. Atwood can write. I didn’t see the feminist angle because my mind never goes there. I don’t have those seeds within me. I don’t feel powerless and never have.

If Trumps strategy is to go after Hunter Biden and ignore policy and the issues Americans care about, then he might as well kiss the Presidency goodbye. I think that tactic will backfire horribly on him. Ughh. I said I wouldn't watch a second debate, but I might renege.

MehGuy said:

Lifetime is a pretty creepy channel. Kids shouldn't be watching half the stuff... yet housewives around the world have it on all day for everyone to see.

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I’ve encountered many housewives over the years. I prefer the retro type. They’re more judicious. We had sensible discussions and their attitudes on men and family were wholesome. They weren’t keyboard warriors or ranting about their spouse or woes.

Bèlla said:

I’ve encountered many housewives over the years. I prefer the retro type. They’re more judicious. We had sensible discussions and their attitudes on men and family were wholesome. They weren’t keyboard warriors or ranting about their spouse or woes.

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After they got their daily dose of feminist oppression fantasy.. they'd often tune into Dr. Phil or Oprah.. who would preach to the housewives how lazy their men who have full time jobs are.. and how a woman's work is never done. Like putting fish sticks into the oven and watching some movie while they cook.. Lol.

MehGuy said:

After they got their daily dose of feminist oppression fantasy.. they'd often tune into Dr. Phil or Oprah.. who would preach to the housewives how lazy their men who have full time jobs are.. and how a woman's work is never done. Like putting fish sticks into the oven and watching some movie while they cook.. Lol.

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I watched Oprah for a time. But I grew weary of talk shows. My brain needs better things to chew on. I can’t fathom serving my husband fish sticks. Gosh. Epic fail.

He’d expect more than mystery meat for dinner if I’ve been home all day! Rightfully so.

Bèlla said:

I watched Oprah for a time. But I grew weary of talk shows. My brain needs better things to chew on. I can’t fathom serving my husband fish sticks. Gosh. Epic fail.

He’d expect more than mystery meat for dinner if I’ve been home all day! Rightfully so.

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Yeah, you'd put effort into your meals for your husband.. sadly most of the housewives I grew up with did not. They'd often yell at the man for not doing enough.. and the man knowing she is full of garbage didn't have the encourage or energy to challenge her assertions. I never want to fall into that depressing cycle.. honestly it puts me off getting married somewhat.

Bèlla said:

But I grew weary of talk shows. My brain needs better things to chew on.

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H'what?

MehGuy said:

Yeah, you'd put effort into your meals for your husband.. sadly most of the housewives I grew up with did not. They'd often yell at the man for not doing enough.. and the man knowing she is full of garbage didn't have the encourage or energy to challenge her assertions. I never want to fall into that depressing cycle.. honestly it puts me off getting married somewhat.

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If I’m home all day there’s no reason why I can’t learn to cook and make nutritious meals for my spouse and family. Many spend the day chatting. The house is untidy, meals come from a box, and they look haggard. Ask them to change and there’s an argument.

Part of the problem is the absence of accountability. There’s no one to spur them on or challenge them. I’m returning to my community for that reason. It’s good to share your struggles. But there’s a way to do so. Broadcasting my spouses poor behavior while never giving an account of my own is unbalanced. And broadcasting is disrespectful.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said:

I said I wouldn't watch a second debate, but I might renege.

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Y'know, it's a shame I have polish my pen lids tonight because the last debate was just SO insightful and AWE inspiring.

I can't believe I'm missing it.

Bèlla said:

If I’m home all day there’s no reason why I can’t learn to cook and make nutritious meals for my spouse and family. Many spend the day chatting. The house is untidy, meals come from a box, and they look haggard. Ask them to change and there’s an argument.

Part of the problem is the absence of accountability. There’s no one to spur them on or challenge them. I’m returning to my community for that reason. It’s good to share your struggles. But there’s a way to do so. Broadcasting my spouses poor behavior while never giving an account of my own is unbalanced. And broadcasting is disrespectful.

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You're one of the rare few good wives.

Thing is, I think most women start off well but eventually settle into being a leech in the marriage. Not that men cannot do the same, but society is much more forgiving when women do it.

Cannot believe I am watching this second debate.. although I'm watching it from a stream of one of my favorite podcasts commenting over it.. so it at least it shouldn't be a total bore.

MehGuy said:

You're one of the rare few good wives.

Thing is, I think most women start off well but eventually settle into being a leech in the marriage. Not that men cannot do the same, but society is much more forgiving when women do it.

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Thank you sweets. That's my heart's desire.

What helps me is most is mindfulness. When I had a large group of friends I realized our ability to influence one another. You could see the domino effect occur. Especially when you put 50 women together. It can be a good thing or hell on wheels.

I realized the necessity of protecting my crawlspace. That my lingo for the space between my ears. You can't absorb everything you hear. But in the same vain, you have to put yourself in the position to take in wisdom.

I'm very discriminating about the company I keep. Oftentimes women converse a lot. She has your ear. I take pains to discover her ideals and feelings about the opposite sex. Does she share my values? Is this someone who'll advocate for the union or advise me to walk away?

My litmus test is how she treats her companion. I listen attentively. Does she praise him or tear him down? That's the spirit I'm drinking in. I look for happily married women who respects their spouse. She delights in him and he in her. Their commitment to one another is solid. She honors him when he's present and out of earshot. I know them when I encounter them. They exude a scent I recognize.

The other biggie is privacy. I don't lay my man out. I'm tight-lipped and share my burdens with my best friend. She's trustworthy and balanced in her feedback. I'm not the saint and he's the sinner. He's deserving of his privacy. Oversharing has drawbacks. Your friends aren't enamored with him. They can't forget what you've told them. His secrets and failings are none of their business. I won't expose him to their scrutiny.

It deepens his trust and makes him feel safe. That's important.

MehGuy said:

Cannot believe I am watching this second debate.. although I'm watching it from a stream of one of my favorite podcasts commenting over it.. so it at least it shouldn't be a total bore.

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Once was enough. *lol*

@MehGuy

You touched on the theme of the week in your comments. I found a homemaking community, groups for like-minded women, and got the green light on a site about femininity. I didn't catch it last night. I'm a little slow. *lol* But thanks for the encouragement. I'm on the right track.

@ReesePiece23

The geisha comment requires a second cup of coffee! There's no way I can tackle that with one. *laughs* I'll dive in after my meeting.

Bèlla said:

@ReesePiece23

The geisha comment requires a second cup of coffee! There's no way I can tackle that with one. *laughs* I'll dive in after my meeting.

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I wouldn't take my comment too seriously. You could tell from the way I was glitching that I had no idea what I was talking about.

I was just generalising from one experience and placing it onto another.

ReesePiece23 said:

I wouldn't take my comment too seriously. You could tell from the way I was glitching that I had no idea what I was talking about.

I was just generalising from one experience and placing it onto another.

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No worries. I know where to go on that one.

I'm a little tired today and I'm fasting. My brain is slower at the moment. How's your project?

Bèlla said:

No worries. I know where to go on that one.

I'm a little tired today and I'm fasting. My brain is slower at the moment. How's your project?

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Pssst... You can consume a fat source like coconut oil and NOT break your fast. It'll slip in without causing an insulin spike. Fat isn't metabolised in the same way as other calorie sources. Just don't eat anything with carbs or protein in it - both cause insulin levels to rise.

I'm taking the Jeff Bezos mentality of slowly, methodically but consistently. I'm NOT his biggest fan - I'm not even sure I like him to be honest, BUT it's an approach I can get on board with. (It works, and that's what matters.)

ReesePiece23 said:

Pssst... You can consume a fat source like coconut oil and NOT break your fast. It'll slip in without causing an insulin spike. Fat isn't metabolised in the same way as other calorie sources. Just don't eat anything with carbs or protein in it - both cause insulin levels to rise.

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I probably need a nap. A short one should do the trick. Fridays are slower. I met with my coach earlier and I need to do a planning session later. The weather is dreary, wet and overcast. Perfect for a snooze.

I'm taking the Jeff Bezos mentality of slowly, methodically but consistently. I'm NOT his biggest fan - I'm not even sure I like him to be honest, BUT it's an approach I can get on board with. (It works, and that's what matters.)

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Have you read Fascinate by Sally Hogshead? Great book and the other is equally good. You should take the test. Maybe you're a Bez in disguise.

Bèlla said:

I probably need a nap. A short one should do the trick. Fridays are slower. I met with my coach earlier and I need to do a planning session later. The weather is dreary, wet and overcast. Perfect for a snooze.



Have you read Fascinate by Sally Hogshead? Great book and the other is equally good. You should take the test. Maybe you're a Bez in disguise.

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I spent most of my 20's living on power naps. They were either amazing or horrible; in the end, they were ONLY horrible and I'd wake up to this sense of impending doom. (Mind you, I was abusing them. They're not meant to be a replacement for a full nights sleep. No stimulant, protocol or mind trick in the world will replace the old fashioned eight hours. It's not practical but the body does seem to enjoy it.)

***slightly off topic; story time with Reese***

I haven't got it in me to be Bezos. I might respect the hustle but there's NO way I'd could sleep on 200B knowing that there's people out there sleeping on the streets, or single mothers bringing children up on benefits. I just couldn't, I'd get restless.

I'm not saying that he has to be a socialist, I'm just saying *I* probably am. If I ever made it BIG I'd more than likely be the most broke celebrity in the world. I'm a bit of an enigma in that way...I wouldn't mind a bit of clout, but if I ever actually got it I'd live like a monk.

I can trace that back to one of my earliest travel memories though. I spent nearly 6 hours talking to a homeless guy in Union Square. He'd just come from the food bank and was giving food out food items. I took a little pot of apple sauce as a keepsake. It's grim, but I still have it. It was one of those days that'll forever stand out in my mind. It changed me.

My only regret is not taking him into Times Square for a show and a spot of dinner. I should of at least given him some mail (I had it after all.)

I've been back twice since and loitered around in the hope I'd see him. Sadly, it wasn't to be. I just hope he got through this COVID stuff safely. As a homeless African American man in his late 50s on the streets of Manhattan he would have been MORE than in the 'at risk' category. (Well, no. He'd be WELL into his 60s now.)

See what I'm saying? I could never be a billionaire. I'd never get there. No, 500K would do me for a nice city apartment with a sparkly view, a mini bar and a man cave to write in. I'm fiercely ambitious and passionate about my work, but I don't actually want for much.