What's on your mind?

[MotherFirefly]

I find myself in an increasingly dark place spiritually.
Too many questions, not enough clarity.
Let alone the "struggles of the flesh".

 

[Niels]

A couple weeks ago, I finally gave Star Trek Discovery a chance. The first episode didn't impress me, but as a lifelong fan of the franchise I figured I should at least see a few more episodes. I ended up binge-watching the first season. It got better as the series progressed. Saru and Tilly are my favorite characters in this iteration.

The first episode of season 2 looked promising, but it also seemed like they were trying to do too much at the same time. It will be interesting to see where things go from here.

 

[bèlla]

.

 

[Citanul]

That annoying feeling when you get home from the shops only to discover that you've forgotten to buy one thing, but that one thing is quite important...

 

[Citanul]

A couple weeks ago, I finally gave Star Trek Discovery a chance. The first episode didn't impress me, but as a lifelong fan of the franchise I figured I should at least see a few more episodes. I ended up binge-watching the first season. It got better as the series progressed. Saru and Tilly are my favorite characters in this iteration.

The first episode of season 2 looked promising, but it also seemed like they were trying to do too much at the same time. It will be interesting to see where things go from here.

I haven't watched Star Trek Discovery yet, but I was surprisingly impressed by The Orville.

I'm not familiar with anything else Seth MacFarlane has done, but from what I know of him I had a feeling that his brand of humour wasn't going to be for me. So I went into the show with not many expectations, but found myself enjoying it.

The jokes don't always work, but the important thing is that the episodes aren't just vehicles for the jokes. Instead the stories are generally straight out of the Star Trek playbook, with situations that the Enterprise and its crew wouldn't look out of place in (although they'd probably do a much better job of handling it).

 

[Multifavs]

You're still young and trying to adjust to your post-school life. Once I was finally out of school, I cried myself to sleep every night because I was haunted by the painful memories. My mental health was a mess and I still had meltdowns. Each year that passed, I got better and better, especially after getting help, spending time around better role models, and tons of self reflection to think about what I can do about my situation and what is counterproductive to me. I'm now looking into getting an education to see if I can get a better job. I'm thinking of becoming an archivist like my social studies teacher recommended me years back. I'm much better mentally am I'm now trying to fix my physical health.

The point is, it's not going to be easy but it will get easier as you grow and mature. Sometimes you may have to take a risk and get out more often and find people who appreciate you as you are instead of superficial traits the world values. Yes, you may feel fragile and anxious but isolating yourself isn't that much help. Self improvement is something everyone should pursue.

I hope I'll get better. I don't think about the things that happened at school very much anymore, but I still feel upset about them and other things from my past and present at times. It's been over seven years since I got out of public school and 4 1/2 years since I graduated high school, but I don't feel better. I'm staying the same in some ways and getting worse in others, it appears.

Sorry to hear what you went through, but I'm glad to hear your mental health is better now.

 

[Multifavs]

Best thing is no one was hurt. The robber is going to be appearing in court next week.

I'm very glad to hear that no one was hurt!

 

[sunshine100]

I want to cry right now.

I want to cry right now.

 

[Multifavs]

Thank you. I'm feeling better now.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

.

 

[Rigatoni]

I'm glad you didn't have to deal with the fallout and happy to hear the church is moving forward. Two well-known churches that I've attended in the past are dealing with their own issues and their pastors. One retired and the other is on an indefinite sabbatical.

There are two messages that were impressed on me by the Holy Spirit very early in my walk. Philippians 2:12 and 2 Timothy 2:15. I've watched many place their leaders on pedestals that are bound to fall. For some, they're more like gurus than servants.

I have not attended a Messianic synagogue. Are you seeking a Jewish experience or Christian worship with Hebraic undertones? Many Jews who come to faith attend church or maintain their connection with the synagogue. Messianic congregations often attract Gentiles. I would encourage you to research the Hebrew movement. You may encounter people who share their principles. Research the organizations reaching out to Jews. Some congregations have ties with these groups.

Proselytization is not a Jewish practice. Judaism does not seek to convert outsiders and many have a negative view of the practice. The Messianic community is Christian and it's important to know that in advance. It is not openly embraced by Judaism nor are they considered Jews in the traditional sense of its meaning. Not by its leadership or the Rabbinate in Israel. It's a source of contention for many and it's best you know this beforehand.

You may want to look at the Hebrews for Christians website. It's pretty informative. The vernacular most use is very different than you'd encounter in a synagogue. They use everyday language when addressing one another and conveying the message. Save the traditions who conduct the services in Hebrew.

I encountered one Messianic Jew in church but my fellowship with them is very limited. I don't understand the Jewishness of their worship. And the frequent use of Hebrew in non Jewish audiences renders me confused. I can grasp their appreciation for the root and respect for its history. But the overt displays of Jewishness in Christian company raises questions in my mind. It seems off.

I'd liken it to being in the company of people with their own lingo. We all have a vernacular we use with close friends. But most people use common language when they're addressing people outside of that circle. They wouldn't speak the same way they did among friends. That's what I'm referencing. In case it was unclear.

I encounter greater displays of Hebrew on this site than Jewish religious sites written in English. That's pretty telling.

I'm open to either, but preferably the latter - Christian worship with Jewish / Hebraic undertones. It's still a journey for me that began when I was saved, so I'm not sure exactly where the Lord is leading, lol. However, I'm sure over time He'll bring clarity and resolution.

Thanks for the recommendation. I've actually visited the Hebrews for Christians site quite often, mainly to study the "Fall" feast days and some of the minor Jewish holidays. I've been fascinated by how the last 3 feasts / holidays are related, as well as by their prophetic significance and future fulfillment in Christ; I'm aware they're referred by as "Divine Appointments" of God. I've also studied the Jewish calendar, as well as other calendars that have recently surfaced. I've really enjoyed it, although there's been a lot of uncertainty and dissension lately between those also studying the culture and general eschatology, regarding various discrepancies. Jewish cuisine has also been an area of interest. Interestingly enough, there's a Mediterranean / Middle Eastern restaurant not too far away from me.

I'll be sure to check out the song Avinu Malkeinu, btw.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

.

 

[MotherFirefly]

What kind of questions do you have? Just know the struggles of the flesh affects everyone. Those who claim they don't are liars.

I suppose I am still finding the right way to word my questions, but I find it difficult "blending in" with the church while not having figured out what it is I truly believe.
I am trying to raise my children with the positive morals I believe can be found in christian surroundings, but find myself in awkward positions when approached about my personal faith.

I have found, If you ask 50 people about God, you get 50 different answers.
I guess I'm still trying to find what my own answer is.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

.

 

[Tarvorok]

Wondering why my life always seems to spiral out of control when I least expect it.

 

[bèlla]

.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

.

 

[Multifavs]

I also still feel remorse, regret, and embarrassment for the things I did in the past. Poor social skills, emotional issues, and a good memory are a terrible mix. It's natural but the past is the past and eventually it'll be mostly forgotten not only by you but by others who have witnessed it. I've harmed people in the past but it doesn't mean I have to still harm people today. I just learn from my mistake and try to grow as a person so I can be remembered as someone who tried to redeem himself instead of being a jerk all his life.

The past and present may hurt and you may think you may stay like this forever but I also felt that way too. In the first half of the 2010's I didn't think anything would change and I'd always be like I was at the time. Turns out, I'm not the same person I was 5+ years ago. Neither will you. You will still grow, you will still learn, and you will still improve with age and experience. It may take a few years but it will get easier.

When I was your age, I wanted to have enough gall to physically harm those who wronged me. I wanted to be able to come up with edgy internet content to hurt and upset people. I wanted my sister to develop mental illness so I could hurt her the way she hurt me. Now, I no longer wish any of that. I've learned to forgive and I now feel less and less anger and hatred towards others. What seems like hatred that would last forever suddenly turned into coming to terms with the past and realizing that I'm no white lily either. I just needed better role models in my life to give me the kind of love and emotional nourishment I have been lacking for much of my life.

I recommend getting some therapy, finding some good anxiety meds, and try to get more involved with your church community instead of relying on the internet for companionship. The internet is becoming more and more of a hostile cesspool and I think real life is becoming more tolerable. You could find some friends, you could get a form of occupational therapy, and I think you could learn much more from people in real life than on the internet. The internet really warped my views of life and God and I'm trying to change that.

I really care about you. You are a sweet, loving woman who has so much to offer with your skills in the arts.

Thanks so much for the encouragement and support. I really do need some more help but it feels impossible right now. My anxiety medication isn't working and I hardly get a chance to get out anymore. I'd love to go back to my church and maybe join a group there but nothing has been done about that.

Aww, well I really care about you too Way. You are a very cool and talented guy.

 

[CodyFaith]

I suppose I am still finding the right way to word my questions, but I find it difficult "blending in" with the church while not having figured out what it is I truly believe.
I am trying to raise my children with the positive morals I believe can be found in christian surroundings, but find myself in awkward positions when approached about my personal faith.

I have found, If you ask 50 people about God, you get 50 different answers.
I guess I'm still trying to find what my own answer is.

I've been going to church for almost 3 years now and am in a large Christian community elsewise, and I can tell you I both don't blend in and probably never will. And on one hand it sucks, trust me I know, because you just want to be a part of a community that has God's love inside it and share with them and contribute your own self to it... but on the other hand you have to see that your unique views and experiences can contribute to the community greatly, and that they'll be blessed by having you. I'm not saying you'll always not blend in... but incase you don't for a while, "own it" is my advice while respecting others come at it all from different backgrounds.

As far as raising your kids with positive morals/inside moral communities, while not ever having kids myself, I come from an extra loving home and can say that it's less what they pick up elsewhere and moreso what they pick up at home... and since you clearly love your kids like crazy, I really wouldn't worry too much. But yeah a good church can definately help in that area too of course.

Keep reading your Bible. Ask God millions of questions, he doesn't mind, trust he'll guide you to answers. All in time friend.

 

[Rigatoni]

The Holy Spirit will lead you. I met a Christian woman at the Reform synagogue I visit. She was traveling home and mistakenly got off on the wrong stop and was right in front of it. She said the Lord told her to go and visit. She's been coming for a while and learning about the faith. She still attends church and goes to Friday night Shabbat. I met her during my first Shabbat at the synagogue. She laughed and said it was God's doing. ;-)

I dug through my bookshelf to share some resources.

• For Jewish holidays, I like The Jewish Holidays by Michael Strassfeld.
• Jewish Literacy is a great overview of Jewish history by Rabbi Joseph Telushkin.
• The Jewish Study Bible (with the maroon cover) by JPS is a good Tanakh
• The Complete Jewish Bible by David Stern is Messianic and includes the NT.
• The Sabbath by Abraham Joshua Heschel is a beauty read for Shabbat.
• Teach Yourself to Read Hebrew by Ethelyn Simon is great for beginners.
• To Pray as a Jew by Hayim Donin walks you through a Jewish service.
• The Modern Jewish Mom's Guide to Shabbat by Meredith Jacob provides great information on Shabbat observance.

Each tradition has its own Siddur (prayer book). If learning Hebrew is your goal you may want to start with a transliterated version. Each vendor addresses this in a different way. I have a Conservative (Siddur Hadash) and Orthodox siddur (Ohel Sarah for women). I've taken Hebrew classes but I'm not fluent and I'm very rusty! If I was learning on my own I'd start with a Reform prayer book (Mishkan T'filah). It's easy to follow.

You may want to read the Weekly Torah Portion. I like Aish's approach. They present the material in different levels and include materials for families. The synagogue sends me a Conservative version but I think Aish is great if you're working alone.

I'm uncertain how much Messianic Judaism is influenced by other teachings and I think this is a good place to begin. The sages may not be referenced and I wouldn't want to introduce anything inappropriate. The same holds true for the Talmud. We had weekly lessons. Theological discussions are commonplace and many Rabbi's hold weekly talks. This may occur in Messianic groups too. Be sure to ask.

As for food, you can't go wrong with cookbooks by Claudia Roden or Joan Nathan. Yotam Ottolenghi is very popular and Madhur Jaffrey is a legend. There's a lot of Jewish music on Spotify. Some synagogues have choirs and others use a cantor. The music is more operatic. But I have participated in a conga line during a Friday night service. It was epic!

If you have any questions or need further resources, don't hesitate to ask.

I appreciate the information and resources, thank you. I'll continue praying and seeking God's direction on where He may be leading me.

Lately, I've focused on studying the Jewish calendar, so I know for sure when to observe the Mo'edim. I know that the mornings begin at sunset, the months at the sighting of the new moon, and the years by the ripening of the barley, with a 13th month (Adar II) added every 3 years or so to take into account the 10 day offset between the sun and moon. But, there's discrepancies as to whether or not that's correct. Some claim the days begin at sunrise, the months at the full moon, and the years are according to the sun's passage throughout the Mazzaroth. It's also speculated that we should really be in the 10th month right now, and that the first 3 and last 3 feast days should take place after the equinoxes. If you're ever open to discussing it, or have any resources that could help provide insight, I'd definitely be interested. =)