- Aug 26, 2015
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Coming to terms with the fact that I'll probably never be allowed to join the military *sigh* I've wanted to since I was 15... grandfather was in it, brother was in it... runs in our genes.
But since I have paranoid schizophrenia and have to take medication for it, even though it's proven I'm mentally stable while on medication, they still won't let me join. The recruiter I spoke to over the phone told me it would be because of the medication...can't have a dependency like that...
I'm sure God has other plans for me, and I am potentially going to school here soon for something else I enjoy (computer programming) but it just doesn't feel good to be told no based on something that's not in my power to change.
It's just odd because I was so sure that was my destiny in life, that I would be in the army and help people in that way... it just fits my personality so well. I felt (and still feel) called to it.
I guess feelings are feelings? Heart is deceitful, etc? I don't know, frustrating though.
I'm in a military family too. My Great Grandparents fought in World War II, my father repaired aircraft in the Gulf War, my mother worked as a military typist, and two of my cousins joined the army. What's more is that I live in a military town with one of the largest aircraft bases in the country. Despite people recommending me to join the military, I could not handle it. I'd have a friggin meltdown in boot camp due to my Asperger's.
Besides, why join the military? Why do we want to go through pain and hardship in boot camp to get a chance to take life instead of enduring hardship to preserve life? When Peter tried to defend Jesus through force, Jesus said, "Enough of this! Those who live by the sword die by the sword!"
I've come to realize that in Heaven, there will be a lot of jobs that will be obsolete like the military, police force, fire department, doctors, nurses, lawyers, security guards, and the like. Many jobs in history are the result of living in an imperfect world. I'd much rather be a cartoonist in Heaven than to join the military on Earth, no matter how much worldly glory it brings.
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Speaking of which, are they really just going to leave it as the word prayers and not put some form of praying image?