@Wayholka
I think you're more frustrated with the type of lives Christians live, and angry/confused by the idea that some people can live rather comfortable lives, while people like me and you suffer immensely, like we're in the middle of an ocean in a storm that constantly dunks our heads under water, with short breaks only to have a bigger wave crash us further down.
Then we beat ourselves up and think it must be something we're doing wrong, because how could God allow it when we give him our all?
But there's something we both don't realize enough I think. We do give God our all. Do you think for one second God looks down and looks at a person who gives God their all and says "No, I reject you"? Or do you think he puts his devoted ones through endless amount of sufferings, only to have their sufferings be in vain?
No, I believe we get what we put in and 10fold more because God is gracious beyond all understanding. So if we're receiving this cup, it's not the cup that we're receiving that is the problem, it's our way of viewing what the cup means.
God promises huge things to those who love him. Why be bothered by people who only give their half to God, or by people who say they give to God but really they don't give almost anything? We're to pity them that they don't have great things in store in their future and their afterlife (even if they are saved, they will lose reward).
And when I say great things in our future, I'm not talking about worldly things. I'm talking about seeds that we will plant in people's live, things that will stretch on to eternity. I'm talking about change we can bring to individuals, love we can share with them, and being lights in a dark world.
I really can't say to you that things will get easier. I have no idea. Like, it's definitely gotten easier for me in certain ways, but in other ways it's become more challenging. Suffering is a strange thing. But will it be worth it? 100% sure yes.
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to
his purpose.
Another verse I think is relative to consider is this:
Proverbs 27:20
Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.
I say that because it's something I've been learning too. Nobody has the "good life" we're trying to be sold, it's an illusion - man's eyes are never satisfied. Never. So even when your suffering is lessened, there will still be a desire for even less suffering and even more happiness. We'll always look at the negatives instead of looking at the positives around us. It's human nature.
Not saying that in judgement or condemnation or anything even remotely close, saying that because a part of my suffering lately has been my desire to always have things better, and I found this verse is helping with that.