What Was Your Experience?

Jaedan said:

No. But I have forced myself to in the past.

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That never works in the long run. I had a time in my life where I had no longing for Christ. I kept trusting in the forgiveness through the cross. One day in church Christ came to me in a very personal way. I saw a light and my heart was changed. Since then I have had this longing for church and love for Christ.

Hey! Just FWIW. Kid I was tutoring about 10 years ago told me she was sick of religion and Christians and all the bravo sierra connected therewith, and that she'd decided she was an atheist. She was, and is, a super logical, real-world, no-bull kid, and all the emo stuff that seems to be part and parcel of Amurkan Christianity was wearing her down. On top of that, she comes from a culture and family where education is the be all and end all, and a B on a report card (not that she ever got one) is like a stain on the family's good name. This is a girl who aced AP Calc and Physics but struggled in English and History, which is why I was there. Anyway, what I offered to her was A) the unavoidable acceptance of pure materialism implicit in any atheistic cosmology, B) the equally unavoidable determinism that must be accepted in a materialistic cosmos, C) the resulting destruction of any rational basis for any epistemology that isn't wholly arbitrary, and ultimately D) the rejection of logic itself as a basis for, well, anything. You reach a logical point (before you reject it, anyway) where you no longer question human agency, but question the existence of agency itself, or even agents (i.e., us)! You end up with a kind of creepy solipsism; sort of "I think therefore I exist...I think". Lot of stuff to address when you're 15 and exams are coming up. She ended up (it took a while) chucking atheism (it is idiotic) for deism (which is at least rational), and over time has since eased back into the Christian faith, albeit into a different, much less "feeeeeeeeeeeeelings" based denomination. She is also an engineer now, working on fighter planes, and making an old man (me) very proud. If there's any of that story that's helpful you're welcome to it, if not, sorry for the waste of time. Take care mate!

rturner76 said:

I had an experience of leaving Christianity and studying Islam. I felt like a runaway child but I felt like I ran to something that made more sense to me. So in that way I felt relief that I had the answers I lacked in my faith.

So I guess to bottom-line it, it was like a sense of finding freedom but it felt like I lost something as well. It can hurt friendships and relationships but we all can only but follow our conscience so there is hope in that as well.

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But you ultimately returned to Christianity?

zoidar said:

That never works in the long run.

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I would definitely agree with that.

When I was a teenager I had a "picture" of Jesus - bought from a Christian bookshop somewhere.
This is silly so feel free to laugh; I used to try and make myself fancy the man I saw in the picture - I had no other concept of how to love Jesus. (I was only a teenager.)
And at the times when my life went pear shaped, I used to try to minimise it and tell myself that I still oved Jesus. As far as I could be, I was sincere - and if I didn't fully know what it mean to love him, I was willing to be willing.

It was only when I accepted that he loved me, not because I was worthy, had done the right things, read the right Bible verses etc, but because he IS love, he created me in love and his love says far more about him than about me; and when I looked at the cross as an expression of that love, 1 John 3:16, that I began to respond.
John also says that we love because he first loved us - like a flower that opens its petals in response to the sun, we can respond to the love of the Son.

I understand wanting to walk away from faith. At 16, I walked away from a ritualistic faith - the faith I practiced did not mean much to me at all. So for 3 years I wandered aimlessly through life - thinking life was about partying and having a good time. Then I was asked by a Christian "Where would your soul go if you died tonight?" I had no answer. All I could think of was the rituals I went through as a young teen. Maybe those rituals saved me I thought? I was invited to attend a Church. Although I was not fully onboard with the idea of going back to church - I went anyway. I had to answer the question about my salvation. I went to church and attended several small group bible studies. I was glad I attended the small groups - because it made the bible "come alive" like never before. I realized that the bible described the condition of mankind better than any sociology/philosophy/science course ever could. I read in Ecclesiastes 12 - "The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God, and keep his commandments; for that is the whole duty of everyone.” This came from Solomon - one of the richest people in the world. Solomon tried to find meaning in everything else. In the end - his driving desire was to Fear God and follow Him. I knew of nothing better to live for. So - I made Christ my Lord and Savior. Prayers that you will find Christ again in a very meaningful way. Jeremiah says "
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." That is so key - seek after Him with all your heart. God Bless!

Remember that Christ said this:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11. Christianity should not be a burden - it should be a way to get rid of your burden and find Grace and Peace!

speciala said:

But you ultimately returned to Christianity?

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Yes, though some Islamic philosophies are hard to shake off once learned, I returned to Christianity (Roman Catholicism) ultimately because I started to compare Jesus and Muhammed strictly as prophets and teachers and what their legacy is.

Jesus wins with the non-violence philosophy, we will not hurt each other. Islam is too intertwined with ancient Arabi customs in some places and the medieval life in Arabia was brutal.

*There is much more to it than that but that's the headline in what brought me back. Turn the other cheek is harder than fighting.

Jaedan said:

Hi,

I'm currently abandoning my faith. and honestly, it has felt like a large weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I'm just curious to hear from Christians who have once abandoned their faith in the past. What was your experience like?

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I get what you are saying because I remember a struggle going on in me during my teen years - I didn't pursue the path of a university degree, and l just went into the workplace. But I had to go back to examining my reasons for believing at several times. Nevertheless I did at one point more or less abandon my faith and became very disoriented and dislocated and uncertain - I am still working through some of the consequences from that over 20 years later.

I really think reading a book like God in the Dark by OS Guinness which addresses the matter of faith and doubt could be of help to you. Also I feel it on my heart to suggest to you to listen to Michael Card's concept album The Way of Wisdom. I hope something in those suggestion may be of benefit to at this stage in your life. Make use of the forums to seek help with questions you have. God Bless you.

So, just recently I was spiritually attacked while in sleep paralysis and I was looking for others that have had a similar experience and came across this post.

It seems easier to walk away from faith. When you walk away from God and start focusing on yourself and making money, I think even the Devil stops messing with you.

I've thought about it several times in my life and tried to justify it by trying to believe that God doesn't exist. I've never really experienced God or Jesus but I have experienced Demons. I stupidly played with a Ouija Board as a teenager. I'm convinced that since now that I know Demons exist, then God or something on the other side must exist. Sometimes when I forget and ask for proof of God's presence or existence, it's like I hear a little voice that says I've already had my proof.

I've dabbled in a lot of Easter philosophy and religions and things like Buddhism, Transcendental Meditation, Yoga, etc. However, it's not that I was really moving away from Christianity but moreso because I didn't know any better and am an over achiever and thought it would improve my life. It may give you enlightenment or whatever but I think it also opens doors if you're not careful. I think I've hit my lowest points during those times. I started having thoughts that weren't my own and things were flying out of my mouth like profanity towards God - I actually ashamed to even admit that. I blamed him for everything and I'm not even sure why. It was very uncharacteristic of me. I think I was being spiritually being attacked because I was still a Christian. If I had not been they may have left me alone - not sure. I remember trying to say prayers and would give up because there seemed to be some sort of dome or dark cloud above me that seemed to block them.

I didn't even realize what was happening until I read the book "Tales from an Excorcist" then I put the pieces together. I quit all that and went through the house and got rid of anything and everything that could be considered some type of Idol.

My life has greatly improved since and I now feel like my prayers are being heard. They may not be granted, but at least heard. Well, that has been my experience and I really hope everything works out.