• Welcome to Christian Forums
  1. Welcome to Christian Forums, a forum to discuss Christianity in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

  2. The forums in the Christian Congregations category are now open only to Christian members. Please review our current Faith Groups list for information on which faith groups are considered to be Christian faiths. Christian members please remember to read the Statement of Purpose threads for each forum within Christian Congregations before posting in the forum.
  3. Please note there is a new rule regarding the posting of videos. It reads, "Post a summary of the videos you post . An exception can be made for music videos.". Unless you are simply sharing music, please post a summary, or the gist, of the video you wish to share.
  4. There have been some changes in the Life Stages section involving the following forums: Roaring 20s, Terrific Thirties, Fabulous Forties, and Golden Eagles. They are changed to Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, and Golden Eagles will have a slight change.
  5. CF Staff, Angels and Ambassadors; ask that you join us in praying for the world in this difficult time, asking our Holy Father to stop the spread of the virus, and for healing of all affected.

What to offer a friend dealing with grief?

Discussion in 'The Ancient Way - Eastern Orthodox' started by OrthodoxWanderer, Sep 26, 2020.

  1. OrthodoxWanderer

    OrthodoxWanderer Member

    179
    +203
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    Orthodox only please.



    I have a friend who lives a long distance from me. He lost his fiancée this past year and is dealing with grief. He is also being forced to adapt to some new unfavorable life circumstances. He has a little trailer in the woods; he doesn't use it much because it is a dump and he couldn't work from there before. Now, he will spend at least the whole winter there.

    He has always been an avowed atheist, but lately he says he has been praying to God, and doing so sincerely. He is praying to the wishy-washy non-specific "universal God" that modern people pray to, but nonetheless I feel he is genuinely looking for the true God.

    On the one hand, I feel God at work in his spending a winter alone in the woods thinking about God and life and death. On the other hand, as a friend I worry about depression, what this might do to him.

    I have sent him some Orthodox materials which didn't seem to help. So, if anyone has any suggestions I'd so much appreciate it. If not, please just pray for my friend (and his reposed fiancée)?
     
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2020
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) <><

    +6,267
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    In dealing with another person's grief, the best thing to say is nothing at all. Then after a certain period of time has passed, remember the following points:

    (Sometimes) It is not always best to quote verses to a deeply hurting person because even though the word of God is spiritual, a person may receive it only intellectual and their hurt is emotionally based. Balance the ministry you give in the first 72 hours on the level of emotional.

    When ministering to someone who is grieving it is good to ask them what they good things they remember or cherish from those past situations or people.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • List
  3. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) <><

    +6,267
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Oh. And don't do what Job's friends did.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • List
  4. Xenophon

    Xenophon Well-Known Member

    691
    +559
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    When it comes to grief, sometimes the only thing is to hear that others have experienced the same suffering - so that you know you aren't alone.

    I would recommend the book A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis, but wouldn't pressure reading it.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  5. OrthodoxWanderer

    OrthodoxWanderer Member

    179
    +203
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    Thank you, Xenophon. I should say he is asking questions about God and is reading a lot of (secular, somewhat New-Agey) books on prayer of his own desire. He asks me my perspective as Orthodox. I don't want to pressure him, either, but he does sometimes ask and seem to be reaching out for something. So, having stuff at the ready isn't a bad idea, I don't think. I try not to bring up prayer and let him be the one who brings it up.

    Good idea, C. S. Lewis. I think he'll read that, actually.
     
  6. Xenophon

    Xenophon Well-Known Member

    691
    +559
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    As far as new-agey stuff, the Soul After Death by Seraphim Rose explains very well the problems with such things... I recommend that too. It was necessary for surviving Thanatology in college.
     
  7. ArmyMatt

    ArmyMatt Regular Member Supporter

    +14,828
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Married
    just be there.
     
    • Winner Winner x 4
    • Like Like x 2
    • List
  8. ChristianGirl_96

    ChristianGirl_96 Well-Known Member Angels Team Supporter

    +1,320
    United Kingdom
    Christian
    In Relationship
    The best gift to give is you will listen and care. If you want to give a physical gift I recommend a self care book or a self care package. Books on how to cope may not be a bad idea either. Go to your library and see if you can find books on self care or look online too. This article on grief is worth reading too- Coping with Grief and Loss - HelpGuide.org
     
Loading...