What should I do?

[texannurse]

I am faced with a really tough situation: my therapist (who I have been with on and off for 4 years) told me that I cannot cut again. He said NEVER AGAIN, that cutting was no longer acceptable for me, that if I cut, then I would be ending our relationship. I am scared to just quit cold turkey, but maybe that's what I need - an ultimatum. But, what if I fall, what if I do it, then I lose one of the most important people in my life right now. How can I reconcile this demand to stop cutting with my own fear of stopping and my fear of losing this relationship? Any advice???

 

[pockleberry]

Talk to them tell them what you feel...maybe it is part of plan but to me it sounds a bit unfair to make an ultimatum like that. I guess whatever happens you can rely on God to help you, thats one of the great things about him he will stick with us even when me mess up and fall...

 

[Soulwings]

Sometimes we need ultimatums like this.
It hurts. But it helps.
I didn't think I could quit cold turkey. But I did. And I think that's the only way to safely quit, because if you don't go cold turkey, then you're going to be prone to be sucked back into old behaviours every time you "slip up". And I know that for one, I was planning my slip ups, before I realised that it was just wrong to be planning when I was going to sin. Thanks to my boyfriend for the heads up but anyway ...
Like I've said before, try not to think of stopping as losing something. Think of it instead as gaining something.
I know you have it in you. You're much, much stronger than you know - because you've got your heavenly Daddy's strength; He's just waiting for you to use it!!

 

[texannurse]

THanks, soulwings. I guess you are right, it is easier to avoid the "near occassions" of cutting with that ultimatum over me. I guess it doesn't really matter how or why I quit, just that I quit. TN

 

[berry2000]

sorry to be blunt but if my therapist ever did that to me not only would I be ticked off I would stop being truthful with them. Guess this isn't really helpful or constructive and suppose it triggered me a bit but just hearing about it made me angry. Then again maybe your therapist knows you better than I do maybe he/she is pushing you because he/she thinks that is what you need.

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

THanks, soulwings. I guess you are right, it is easier to avoid the "near occassions" of cutting with that ultimatum over me. I guess it doesn't really matter how or why I quit, just that I quit. TN

(((TN)))

Gorgeous, what are some reasons as to why you should stop? I know they are there - you need to think of them though .

 

[Everlasting33]

I personally do not agree with your therapist's approach concerning your situation with self-mutilation.

A therapist may consider unconditional positive regard before he/she even thinks about threats or intimidation.
I understand therapists are human and mistakes are certainly possible, but hopefully this is a one time thing!

 

[Mr.Cheese]

I can see how an experienced therapist in real life would be able to use the concept of loss in therapy.

On here it's different. I'm not a therapist and never see anyone in person. Contact on here is random. The best thing I think I can do is be unconditionally supportive and encouraging.

 

[texannurse]

I can see how an experienced therapist in real life would be able to use the concept of loss in therapy.

On here it's different. I'm not a therapist and never see anyone in person. Contact on here is random. The best thing I think I can do is be unconditionally supportive and encouraging.

Mr. Cheese - that is the most crucial thing - the support found on this forum!! I hope no one ever uses it to supplant therapy, but it is to help us deal with the issues in our lives by communicating with people who understand them personally.

And I thank you and everyone else for that support!
I am richly blessed!! TN

 

[Arianna]

Mr. Cheese - that is the most crucial thing - the support found on this forum!! I hope no one ever uses it to supplant therapy, but it is to help us deal with the issues in our lives by communicating with people who understand them personally.

And I thank you and everyone else for that support!
I am richly blessed!! TN

hi lovely
i'm sorry you are in such a difficult situation

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

How are things going TN?

 

[texannurse]

How are things going TN?

Really not too good. Please pray. TN

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

You know I'm praying for you Beautiful. I pray for you every day . You can beat this Hun.

 

[berry2000]

I am praying for you too TexasNurse. Don't give up. For it is in weakness that HE SHOWS HIMSELF STRONG. I mean this is a chance for God to show how powerful he can be in your life.

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

(((TN))), I'm still praying for you Beautiful. I hope things are going ok .

 

[clycleader]

Hi TN,
I'm new here, but just wanted to let you know I'm praying for you too. I think you can do this. God is behind you, how HUGE is that? Hope all is well.

 

[texannurse]

(((TN))), I'm still praying for you Beautiful. I hope things are going ok .

STeffi - I am doing ok. I hit week 4 thursday and this is when it ususally gets really hard - my repeated "falling point". I am scared to fall again and right now the only thing keeping me safe is the thought of losing the support of this man who has known me 5 years and has seen me through many rough spots. Is fear enough of a motivation? WIll any fear induced change last? WHo knows.
TN

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

TN, I don't know if fear is enough or not, but I have faith that you can do this. I know you can beat four weeks and this time it doesn't need to be your falling point - you have the strength to keep going Hun . I'm here praying for you and barracking for you the whole time too Beautiful .

 

[mamalonglegs]

I am faced with a really tough situation: my therapist (who I have been with on and off for 4 years) told me that I cannot cut again. He said NEVER AGAIN, that cutting was no longer acceptable for me, that if I cut, then I would be ending our relationship. I am scared to just quit cold turkey, but maybe that's what I need - an ultimatum. But, what if I fall, what if I do it, then I lose one of the most important people in my life right now. How can I reconcile this demand to stop cutting with my own fear of stopping and my fear of losing this relationship? Any advice???

Hi texannurse its mamalonglegs:

That is a tall order that your therapist is placing on your shoulders. He doesn't realize the scope of S.I. in a person's life. Try to talk him into purchasing the book I suggested to you, BODILY HARM BY KAREN CONTERIO AND DR. WENDY LADER WITH JENNIFER KINGSON BLOOM. He can find it at Amazon.com and it isn't very expensive around 11 bucks. It has a special section in it just for therapist.
It might open his eyes to what you are truly up against and how he can help you in a more positive way.

It will not hurt to ask him to read the book. Get it for hi if you have to.

mamalonglegs