Thanks Rick and McWilliams for your comments, and I must tell you they have been helpful even if it doesn't sound like it in what I say. It is good food for thought.
Wrote a long post but it got deleted somehow, which is probably good. Must mean I need to edit.
Short version: I probably do have faulty knowledge of both God's soveriegnty and man's depravity, and that may be the root of my problem. My limited intellect has left me thinking that God is in complete, precise, and active control of all things from quarks to galaxies and motion and time and space. I think that man is totally depraved and deserving of whatever punishment God deems just, and that is hell. I accept both those things as true.
What I'm looking at is basically the idea of God writing all our days in His book before any of them were. Leaving aside who is culpable, who is it that first concieves of things done? I guess I have this mental picture of God as screenwriter, coming up with all the horrors that humanity has and will commit. That idea scares me, and not in a good way. Rapes, murders, crimes against children, grotesque torture, beasts like the BTK killer, whole cultures fixated on blood and beheadings (mohammedans) all created in the mind of God. And then the horrors of "natural" disasters, the slow, tortuous deaths of people buried alive, drownings by storm or tsunami, death by fire, etc., etc. over and over billions of times over history.
Predestination appears logically necessary to me, but then doesn't that logically extrapolate that every single thought, idea, and action had to be concieved of by the Predestinator before any of it began? I don't know what to think of a mind that comes up with all this. I have trouble rectifying that with holiness and righteousness.
So obviously I'm all messed up, but God is soveriegn, and He's gonna resolve all this for me in one way or another so I'll just have to hang and rattle until He does.
Thanks