I totally agree!
I mean, you don't want to be stupid and just completely ignore the fact that premarital sex will HURT YOU, in many ways,...but at the same time you want to do that WITHIN the context of God's desire to have sex be a BLESSING...and then showing the folly of trying to get away with breaking God's law...
So the "do not" is all wrapped up in the context of "do," if that makes any sense...
You do not throw out a "don't go there," but you present a, "Let's Go HERE!" (and in the process of going one direction, you automatically rule out the opposite direction).
Clear as mud? Heeheehee... I can't figure out a good way to put it...
But, at the same time, "Obedience by Fear" is not all bad. For example, WE OURSELVES are supposed to obey God not only out of love, but also out of FEAR! ("Work out your salvation in fear and trembling..." and many more verses of the same).
There is a terrible ungodly fear produced by abusive parents--fear of that sort ought never be in a child, but sadly enough is.
But at the same time, this does not mean all fear is bad. There is a very healthy fear that a child ought to have for his parents--a fear that is totally wrapped up in a context of love and warmth--the sort of fear that is simply,
"My daddy/mommy is way bigger than me, and I'd best obey him/her, because if I choose not to, I'll reap the consequences, sure as anything!"
That kind of fear is not only a good positive force in a child's life, but a GODLY one. The scriptures admonish children to obey their parents, and warn them of the consequences (ever read the book of Proverbs? Whoooo, boy!)...
As parents, it is part of our DUTY to see that we help our children learn to obey (a trait that does not come naturally to the human race--see Gen. 1-3 for details!)... There is a healthy fear--almost better worded as a healthy "respect" that they MUST have of authority figures.
As they mature into young adults, the GOAL is that 'obedience out of fear of discipline' matures into "
My obedience out of love, my obedience because I see the vision and I want it for reasons beyond just, 'I'll get into trouble if I don't.'"
But let's all be totally honest here--you're not going to get most young preschoolers to understand the dynamics and concepts of why they shouldn't crack Johnny over the head with their truck. For that matter, they don't need to be bogged down with the concepts! They're too young to handle it! All they need is to know that Daddy/Mommy said "no hitting," and that if they break that rule, they'll get a swat/time-out/whatever...
Simple blessings for obedience, simple consequences for disobedience, and all the while drumming it into their heads that "obeying makes us happy!" and so on...
"God wants us to obey because He know's it'll make us soooo happy!" "Mommy/Daddy loves to obey God, because God is soooo good!" That's about all the "deep underlying concept" you want to give a two year old!
More will come, as they grow--but for now, they need to come when they're called. Believe me, the day they start to run for the busy street, you'll be so glad you trained them to simply obey your voice.
Otherwise, they only obey when you've got a good enough explanation as to why...and by the time you get started explaining/begging/pleading for them to obey, they'll already be getting rolled under a passing vehicle.
Training children to simply obey is FOR their benefit--for the benefit of your own home (it's so much happier and enjoyable for EVERYONE when the children are in order!), for their own personal and physical benefit, and for their future spiritual relationship with God. It's a win-win!
Blessings,
Mol
Lots of Love,
Mol
