What NOT to say on your Eharmony profile

[Princess Pea]

These are all things I have actually seen on eharmony match profiles. Hopefully no one here will recognize himself ... If so, I'm not doing this to be mean but to give examples of statements that have sent me running for the hills, and to explain why. Who knows ... maybe someone will find it helpful? Feel free to add your own if you have them.

"I have panic attacks when meeting women I'm attracted to ... " oh, honey, I'm so sorry this is true for you, but really, you need to get some help for this problem before you even think about dating. You really do. Because the possibility of coping with a man's panic attack on a first date is enough to give me a panic attack.

"My greatest passion is for the woman I'm with" ... Really? How often do you change women? (Explanation: I'd rather have a guy who's passionate about something else, like a vocation or activity or hobby. "Passionate about my latest woman" sounds like a womanizer.)

"I'm most interested in whatever the woman I'm with is interested in." Can you say "codependent?"

"I need a woman who will understand and support my passion for my Harley Davidson ... " methinks I smell a man whose last girlfriend gave him the heave-ho because she got sick of playing second fiddle to a chunk of metal. And I don't blame her.

(Yes, I do realize some of these appear to be contradictary. I'll explain more later if anyone asks me to.)

"I must have a woman who is sexually mature and experienced ... " well, that's not me. I am glad you warned me, though. Now goodbye.

"I need a woman who will get along with my dog. If she doesn't, I will chose the dog over her." Again ... thanks for the warning. I mean, I love my kitties and all, but if they were the only thing standing between me and Mr. Perfect-but-Allergic, I'd find new homes for them. I'd bawl my eyes out, sure. But I'd do it. There would be time. And then I'd go visit them frequently.

Any form of the word "desperate." Enough said.

 

[futuredoc]

LOL I too have seen some crazy things in profiles and recieved even weirder emails. Mostly along the lines of....my last relationship went belly up b/c of (insert personality quirk, psychosis, etc here) so you should be able to deal with it.

I would understand if it was truly a quirk, since I have enough of those myself, but things like being unable to deal with ANY noverbal communication? Seriously? So if I started crying, I'm still going to have to remain articulate?

 

[Niels]

"I need a woman who will understand and support my passion for my Harley Davidson ... " methinks I smell a man whose last girlfriend gave him the heave-ho because she got sick of playing second fiddle to a chunk of metal. And I don't blame her.

In all fairness, I wouldn't want to be with a woman who can't stand my interests. Would you want be with a man who gives you grief about your hobbies? Harley guy probably just wants a Harley-friendly gal. Nothing wrong with that. I agree that the other quotes are bad, but this one sounds pretty normal to me.

 

[Idahofroggie]

if there is any mention of playing video games....

 

[Princess Pea]

In all fairness, I wouldn't want to be with a woman who can't stand my interests. Would you want be with a man who gives you grief about your hobbies? Harley guy probably just wants a Harley-friendly gal. Nothing wrong with that. I agree that the other quotes are bad, but this one sounds pretty normal to me.

Yeah, after I posted it I realized I probably sounded extremely nitpicky. I wouldn't do well with a guy who didn't share my interests either. But for the purposes of this thread and to protect the innocent, I edited the guy's original statement to save space, and changed the hobby to HD. His original statement indicated that he spends quite a bit of time and money on this particular hobby (which was one that tends to attract a lot more men than women) and was looking for a woman who understood and appreciated and actively supported the time/financial commitment it required. Fair enough, yes. But this statement and the rest of his profile gave the impression that he's pretty singleminded about this, and might not have any other interests besides this one. It just seemed unbalanced.

 

[RonnyRulz]

if there is any mention of playing video games....

WHAT?!?!??!?!

Well then, let me say one to counter that,

If they said they hate any mention of video games

Some more...

If they weren't a Christian, CYA!
If they were a Christian, but it's not blatantly obvious they are absolutely heart-struck in-love with God, then sorry, unless the rest of your profile strikes me with awe, no thanks!

I just could never date or marry someone who wasn't a christian, or who was and wasn't a very passionate one.
If there's one thing people know about me, it's that I am most passionate about God. And even strangers can see that, because I really really am.
If a girl doesn't share the same passion, then no thanks!

I got a bunch of E-harmony matches, and half of them were christian, but they only clicked "Christian" on their choice of religion. The rest of their profile didn't have a single mention of God in it, and their biggest interests/desires/etc wasn't God, it was music or their career.

Also any mention of religion or theology. I would heavily reconsider picking someone else - I am not into religion, and I'm not into theology or religious beliefs. I'm into a real, personal, love and passion for a LIVING God, not man's religion.

To be honest, making me their world wouldn't scare me off unless they put me above God. As long as God is #1, I really enjoy being #2, even if they are really really attached (as long as they were MORE attached to God.)

 

[eatenbylocusts]

How about someone who lists sex as their passion, and then again as sex being something they couldn't live without? Sounds like they don't intend on waiting for marriage.

On the other hand, when someone lists in their must haves-someone who is traditional and conservative in their sexual needs I am left wondering if once a month would be out of the question with them. Sorry honey, it's only been three weeks. You'll just have to wait......

 

[RonnyRulz]

How about someone who lists sex as their passion, and then again as sex being something they couldn't live without? Sounds like they don't intend on waiting for marriage.

On the other hand, when someone lists in their must haves-someone who is traditional and conservative in their sexual needs I am left wondering if once a month would be out of the question with them. Sorry honey, it's only been three weeks. You'll just have to wait......

Yea, anyone that lists sex as a must-have before marriage is pretty bad

If I didn't rely on God to give my Mrs.Perfect, my spiritmate, then I would have to cross my fingers and hope my wife is as sexual as me, because I sure as heck wouldn't ask it in my profile, although I'd want to. I would want a women that would think something like that in a guy's profile was not their type. lol
And it's hard to convince people that you're a good person with the words Christian and sex in the paragraph, even if marriage is in there too, haha. I mean, to be honest, if I were to look for a wife, a women's sexual desire would be on equal level of importance as her physical looks (Like if I find her beautiful, cute, so-so, or ugly.) Neither as important as the aspects of the Spirit or Soul, but still important to me, at least a little bit.
Bah! Nothing is worse than the "Only for your birthday" wife And the way the church preaches, they act like men can't control themselves, and women hate sex. Oh no! I sure hope that's not true, LOL.

I want someone that fits me, Spirit Soul AND Body.
How do you say that in a profile that would appeal to a good christian women? haha

(Sorry, I don't mean to be rude or abrupt by talking about sexuality. I assume everyone here can handle mature talk like this, but if you're offended/disgusted, I apologize profusely! I just can't help but feel I'll be captured in the wrong light just by talking about perfect compatibility, which includes the body. I just want to be honest in what appeals to me in a wife. At least I'm not a liar like most guys. I try to never lie.)

But if the word "marriage" isn't in there too, then CYA!

 

[plum]

yeah good examples, Princess!

 

[AlexeiKaramazov]

Hmm, you seem a little...judgmental. What you're criticizing seems to be honesty. After all, we probably all have one or two things that are a real turnoff to other people, but hiding the fact that they exist doesn't change the fact that they do. It also narrows the chances of finding someone who happens to share that particular thing with us.

And there's nothing wrong with people who play video games, it's a perfectly mature hobby

 

[simmeringabsolute]

Yea, anyone that lists sex as a must-have before marriage is pretty bad

If I didn't rely on God to give my Mrs.Perfect, my spiritmate, then I would have to cross my fingers and hope my wife is as sexual as me, because I sure as heck wouldn't ask it in my profile, although I'd want to. I would want a women that would think something like that in a guy's profile was not their type. lol
And it's hard to convince people that you're a good person with the words Christian and sex in the paragraph, even if marriage is in there too, haha. I mean, to be honest, if I were to look for a wife, a women's sexual desire would be on equal level of importance as her physical looks (Like if I find her beautiful, cute, so-so, or ugly.) Neither as important as the aspects of the Spirit or Soul, but still important to me, at least a little bit.
Bah! Nothing is worse than the "Only for your birthday" wife And the way the church preaches, they act like men can't control themselves, and women hate sex. Oh no! I sure hope that's not true, LOL.

I want someone that fits me, Spirit Soul AND Body.
How do you say that in a profile that would appeal to a good christian women? haha

(Sorry, I don't mean to be rude or abrupt by talking about sexuality. I assume everyone here can handle mature talk like this, but if you're offended/disgusted, I apologize profusely! I just can't help but feel I'll be captured in the wrong light just by talking about perfect compatibility, which includes the body. I just want to be honest in what appeals to me in a wife. At least I'm not a liar like most guys. I try to never lie.)

But if the word "marriage" isn't in there too, then CYA!

"The woman I marry ought to value purity in body and spirit, but not be frigid when we get married because then it's time to boogie."

But yea, this thread is more about what kind of person NOT to be rather than what NOT to say. These people are just being honest, which is exactly what you ought to do in a profile.

 

[RonnyRulz]

"The woman I marry ought to value purity in body and spirit, but not be frigid when we get married because then it's time to boogie."

But yea, this thread is more about what kind of person NOT to be rather than what NOT to say. These people are just being honest, which is exactly what you ought to do in a profile.

exactly!

 

[PureSolace]

Ahh sweet Eharmony. I remember that place well. Talked about how I caught an Alligator once. I also remember that it said something like, "You are compatible with no one at this time, but hang in there. People join Eharmony everyday!"

Thanks but no thanks eHarmony!

 

[Jeff91199]

Ahh sweet Eharmony. I remember that place well. Talked about how I caught an Alligator once. I also remember that it said something like, "You are compatible with no one at this time, but hang in there. People join Eharmony everyday!"

Thanks but no thanks eHarmony!

Very interesting. I was doing some work-related research this afternoon, when I came across a blog article about this very thing: http://www.consumerist.com/consumer/complaint/edisharmonycom-154476.php
I don't agree with everything in the article, but it did provide some fascinating insight.

 

[simmeringabsolute]

Very interesting. I was doing some work-related research this afternoon, when I came across a blog article about this very thing: http://www.consumerist.com/consumer/complaint/edisharmonycom-154476.php
I don't agree with everything in the article, but it did provide some fascinating insight.

Makes me want to sign up. I'm not kidding.

Edit: actually yea, if there was any doubt before, there's none now. Eharmony has my business.

 

[BoazB]

Judging by the OP, it would seem that there are some weird guys out there, who never read what they have written, the way the reader is going to read it (Errr... did that make sense?)

In the words of the great Robbie Burns (for those who like Scots poetry) "Oh what to gie (give) to see ourselves as others us do see..." (apologies to all those who know the accurate quote)

 

[Gimpy]

So, do you think I should put that I play lots of games on my computer? Chess is the most frequent. Learning to dance in between chess games is a possible option though, if thats any help

 

[BoazB]

What amazes me is to see not just Dating websites, but "CHRISTIAN" Dating Websites, that you wonder how Christian they are ... (see the suggestive photos)Sometimes it is not too far off from the notorious sections of the newspaper

 

[overit]

LOL, yeah those are bad. Must say though, I won't choose a guy over my pets. If a guy has allergies that bad, I wouldn't LET it get to the point that I was so attached to him that I had to choose. WIth so many millions of options out there I'd just move right along to the next guy.
I don't think that's wrong.....a guy that has just entered my life would make it clear he has allergies and probably couldn't come to my house with my dog and cat (even though they aren't bad shedders) to even develop a relationship so why would it get to the point I had to choose? My pets are part of my family, a new date isn't...so, no loss in my mind, I'd just move right along as I wouldn't get rid of my pets for a guy.

 

[eugeneandbobo]

These are all things I have actually seen on eharmony match profiles. Hopefully no one here will recognize himself ... If so, I'm not doing this to be mean but to give examples of statements that have sent me running for the hills, and to explain why. Who knows ... maybe someone will find it helpful? Feel free to add your own if you have them.

"I have panic attacks when meeting women I'm attracted to ... " oh, honey, I'm so sorry this is true for you, but really, you need to get some help for this problem before you even think about dating. You really do. Because the possibility of coping with a man's panic attack on a first date is enough to give me a panic attack.

"My greatest passion is for the woman I'm with" ... Really? How often do you change women? (Explanation: I'd rather have a guy who's passionate about something else, like a vocation or activity or hobby. "Passionate about my latest woman" sounds like a womanizer.)

"I'm most interested in whatever the woman I'm with is interested in." Can you say "codependent?"

"I need a woman who will understand and support my passion for my Harley Davidson ... " methinks I smell a man whose last girlfriend gave him the heave-ho because she got sick of playing second fiddle to a chunk of metal. And I don't blame her.

(Yes, I do realize some of these appear to be contradictary. I'll explain more later if anyone asks me to.)

"I must have a woman who is sexually mature and experienced ... " well, that's not me. I am glad you warned me, though. Now goodbye.

"I need a woman who will get along with my dog. If she doesn't, I will chose the dog over her." Again ... thanks for the warning. I mean, I love my kitties and all, but if they were the only thing standing between me and Mr. Perfect-but-Allergic, I'd find new homes for them. I'd bawl my eyes out, sure. But I'd do it. There would be time. And then I'd go visit them frequently.

Any form of the word "desperate." Enough said.

thanks for the advice...now i need to go change everything about my profile...