What exactly is abuse in a marriage? Is divorce ever okay for a Christian due to abuse?

[8675309]

For 12+ years my husband refuses any intimacy (completely sexless) with me. He won't go to marriage therapy, he doesn't sleep in the same bedroom, we talk less than a literal 10 minutes total a day and our 'talking' is more like de-briefing for each of us. I've done almost all parenting over the years, but he takes our children on expensive, extravagant trips where I am not invited. He routinely belittles me in front of the children and is highly critical of me. I'm just so incredibly lonely. I'm tempted now for all sorts of wrong activities I'd never otherwise think of, including divorce or an affair. Please advise and submit your opinion. Thank you.

 

[Hank77]

How old are your children and how many do you have?

 

[8675309]

How old are your children and how many do you have?

Our children are almost 21, 19, and 15.

 

[Victory-N-Christ]

Aww man.I'm truly sorry that you're dealing with this situation.This site has chaplains and you might do better talking to a chaplain about this .
Just a thought.
Prayers....

 

[Hank77]

Our children are almost 21, 19, and 15.

Well, the first thing that I would be thinking about is that 15 yr. old. In just a few more years that child will be almost a kinda real adult. Old enough to leave home, go to college, get a job, etc. This is a very difficult age for teens and they really don't need mom and dad splitting up.

You really should take this up with one of the onsite pastors as the previous poster said.

 

[8675309]

Have I been gas-lighted? Maybe this isn't abuse and marriages just become like this. Do I have a legitimate reason to consider this a form of abuse? This is totally against my will, and not what I intended when we married. I almost left my husband not too long ago when he wanted to celebrate something big in his life, (there is no hint of sexual misconduct for this, but,) so he flew one of our daughters flew to Italy for a whirlwind five-star trip. He's flying another child to Mexico for a sport fishing trip next. Maybe an affair is a better option for me if I can go undetected. I don't know if I can wait another four years.

 

[toLiJC]

sounds like a bad treatment on his part, and it is not surprising given the spiritual situation nowadays

Blessings

 

[8675309]

Well, the first thing that I would be thinking about is that 15 yr. old. In just a few more years that child will be almost a kinda real adult. Old enough to leave home, go to college, get a job, etc. This is a very difficult age for teens and they really don't need mom and dad splitting up.

You really should take this up with one of the onsite pastors as the previous poster said.

Thank you very much. God bless you.

 

[Hank77]

Maybe an affair is a better option for me if I can go undetected. I don't know if I can wait another four years.

I must have misunderstood you. I thought that you were concerned about a Christian option. An affair is definitely not an option. Even thinking logically in a secular view an affair would not be sensible. You would be taking the chance of completely destroying your relationship with your children. Right now their father is the golden goose who lavishes his children with gifts. As they mature and experience their own personal relationships their understanding about your marriage will likely change to see your side of things. They will appreciate your faithfulness to them. If you are unfaithful to their father they will see it as being unfaithful to them.

Do you have a money making job? If not I would suggest getting one. If you were to leave in the future you will need a way to support yourself. It would help you to build self-confidence that frankly is appealing to a well balanced man. I would suggest reading Proverbs 31:10-31.
In the mean time you would have the finances to do some lavishing on your children yourself.

But please get advise from a qualified Christian counselor.

 

[8675309]

Thank you, and I'm sure you're correct. Yes, I do have an income although much smaller.

 

[SkyWriting]

For 12+ years my husband refuses any intimacy (completely sexless) with me. He won't go to ma....

Your first 6 posts all ask the same question? Is this a robot script asking?

What exactly is abuse in a marriage? Is divorce ever okay for a Christian due to abuse?
Yesterday at 12:09 PM in forum: Christian Philosophy & Ethics

What exactly is abuse in a marriage? Is divorce ever okay for a Christian due to abuse?
Yesterday at 11:48 AM in forum: Christian Philosophy & Ethics

What exactly is abuse in a marriage? Is divorce ever okay for a Christian due to abuse?
Yesterday at 8:07 AM in forum: Christian Philosophy & Ethics

What exactly is abuse in a marriage? Is divorce ever okay for a Christian due to abuse?
12:15 AM in forum: Christian Philosophy & Ethics

Friday at 11:55 PM, in forum: Christian Philosophy & Ethics

etc
8675309

 

[SkyWriting]

Have I been gas-lighted? Maybe this isn't abuse and marriages just become like this. Do I have a legitimate reason to consider this a form of abuse? This is totally against my will, and not what I intended when we married. I almost left my husband not too long ago when he wanted to celebrate something big in his life, (there is no hint of sexual misconduct for this, but,) so he flew one of our daughters flew to Italy for a whirlwind five-star trip. He's flying another child to Mexico for a sport fishing trip next. Maybe an affair is a better option for me if I can go undetected. I don't know if I can wait another four years.

Your first 6 posts all ask the same question?