What do you do when your extremely lonely?

[LonelyAdams]

Ive been strugging with a lot of lonliness lately. I'm tired, im going out, I'm being social, I have friends, but I don't feel like I have anyone that really knows me.

 

[Unqualified]

Yes I only have one close friend that knows me quite a bit. At church there is a lot of love and acceptance. It’s not you, it’s not me. It’s just the way life is.

 

[ukcrusader40]

I learnt to embace the misery and lonliness

 

[Jamdoc]

Yes I only have one close friend that knows me quite a bit. At church there is a lot of love and acceptance. It’s not you, it’s not me. It’s just the way life is.

Thing is Church isn't really intimate enough to say it's a personal love of each person there, you don't really know the people at church that well, you know a surface level "they love Jesus, I love Jesus, so that means I love them" it's love that hinges on a single data point. It's kind of shallow and impersonal.
and I know myself I feel more like... tolerated at church rather than accepted. Being a single adult man in church is not the greatest context of being there.

as far as dealing with loneliness? I wish I knew, I struggle with this same thing.
I know I know, the holy spirit is with us.. but invisible.. intangible, can't give you a hug when you need one.

I mean, Paul writes in his letters to greet each other with a holy kiss but ask yourself, are churches really that intimate? Most I've seen is handshakes, which is a distancing gesture, designed to limit intimacy, keep at arm's length.

Then you sit in the pew.... alone, while everyone is with their families.

 

[Unqualified]

Thing is Church isn't really intimate enough to say it's a personal love of each person there, you don't really know the people at church that well, you know a surface level "they love Jesus, I love Jesus, so that means I love them" it's love that hinges on a single data point. It's kind of shallow and impersonal.
and I know myself I feel more like... tolerated at church rather than accepted. Being a single adult man in church is not the greatest context of being there.

as far as dealing with loneliness? I wish I knew, I struggle with this same thing.
I know I know, the holy spirit is with us.. but invisible.. intangible, can't give you a hug when you need one.

I mean, Paul writes in his letters to greet each other with a holy kiss but ask yourself, are churches really that intimate? Most I've seen is handshakes, which is a distancing gesture, designed to limit intimacy, keep at arm's length.

Then you sit in the pew.... alone, while everyone is with their families.

a lot of what you say is true and it sounds like you need intimacy.
But just a couple other observations. It’s a positive, holy place when we meet. It’s a good growth environment at my church. It adds a lot of encouragement to ones life especially if you are serving the Lord and in with that crowd. Then a lot more of the gospel is for you and you have fellowship and something in common.

I don’t even know a lot of people well but I appreciate them for what they are doing for the lord and everybody to some extent.
I know them because I treat them with love and respect and I know them by how much they want from me. How far they want to go in relationship. There are a lot of lonely people in the world and the church that doesn’t change too much. They can have a loving, hassle free time there and grow in the gospel which is comfort for them.

the right hand of fellowship is a warm drawing in to me.

 

[timf]

It has been said that if you want a friend, you should be a friend.

In any group activity, there will always be people on the fringe. If you keep an eye out, you can observe those who do not get integrated into the social mainstream. If you are able to befriend some of these, you might find one that can reciprocate.

 

[lastofall]

John 16:32 Behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me.