The irony of telling God you're lonely

seeker2122

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I find it really ironic (is that right word or is there a better word) telling God in prayer
that I'm lonely.

I know the right answer is supposed to be, if you have a real and intimate relationship with God
you shouldn't be lonely, otherwise that is like saying to God, He doesn't complete me and He's not
enough, which I know is wrong and supposed to be wrong.

I want to have human friends, companion, partner, camaraderie, family..... but it makes me feel like
saying that to God is like telling him, "you're just not enough".
 
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RDKirk

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We see in scripture that the Lord urges us as Christians to be close to one another, connected with one another, and to be in the deepest levels of fellowship with one other. There are no hermits in the Body of Christ. It was never God's intention for anyone to be permanently alone.

My strong advice is to find a congregation and get involved. I'm not going to point out any particular denomination...having been career military, my wife and I have been members of several different denomination congregations. But find a congregation of a size that you can feel comfortable and get involved with its ministries.
 
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seeker2122

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We see in scripture that the Lord urges us as Christians to be close to one another, connected with one another, and to be in the deepest levels of fellowship with one other. There are no hermits in the Body of Christ. It was never God's intention for anyone to be permanently alone.

My strong advice is to find a congregation and get involved. I'm not going to point out any particular denomination...having been career military, my wife and I have been members of several different denomination congregations. But find a congregation of a size that you can feel comfortable and get involved with its ministries.

Thank you, yes, Koinonia!
How about non-Koinonia intimacy or fellowship with someone or a group. I have those desires too. I don't want everything to always be about the bible, ministry, and just talk about Jesus. What if we yearn to also just have intimacy or closeness in other areas of life. Of course one argument would be "Coram Deo" that every part of your life should be about Jesus/God and Christianity and there's no such thing as having any part of your life without it.
 
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RDKirk

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Thank you, yes, Koinonia!
How about non-Koinonia intimacy or fellowship with someone or a group. I have those desires too. I don't want everything to always be about the bible, ministry, and just talk about Jesus. What if we yearn to also just have intimacy or closeness in other areas of life. Of course one argument would be "Coram Deo" that every part of your life should be about Jesus/God and Christianity and there's no such thing as having any part of your life without it.
There's no reason a friendship found in the Church can't extend to something fuller and more encompassing.

I would put an emphasis on making friends while involved in a service ministry because working together (as opposed to only worshipping together) brings out that fuller range of fellowship (think of Paul making tents with Pricilla and Aquilla). The ministry introduces you to each other and gives you that one reason to be in contact. But you can always get to know their other interests that you can share or develop together.
 
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TzephanYahu

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I want to have human friends, companion, partner, camaraderie, family..... but it makes me feel like
saying that to God is like telling him, "you're just not enough".
Hi @seeker2122

Not at all! Adam met with Yahweh directly in the Garden and he still was lonely and needed a human companion. So how much more you who have never seen Him?

Yahweh is holy and though He is with us always, He is not physically here - yet. So it's totally understandable if you feel lonely and need a physical companionon you can relate with daily.

Don't feel bad or guilty about that. Instead pray that He with bring someone across your path and give you the wisdom to identify them when He does.

Peace.
 
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com7fy8

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Yes, we can be with God and feel lonely. Because God's love has us sharing as family with one another. So, if we pray, but do not learn how to share with God's people, we are not really with God and our prayer has us isolated.

Now, yes, then, it can be good to be married so we can share with another person intimately. But this also can be an extension of our isolation. Our marriage can be isolated, too, so a person is still lonely in marriage.

So, it is wise to get into loving any and all people, not try to use some one person to make our loneliness problem go away. And, while we are with any other Christian, learn how to love so we are preparing for how to share in marriage. And then in marriage learn and mature more so then we can love better with all our others in God's family > seek to grow in love so we can be intimate with all the others who are in God's way of loving.

We are often counseled to not expect our spouse to meet all our need. But first depend on God. Plus, God uses different people to minister to us. It will not be just one person or pastor or church. But we all help each other.

So, pray and appreciate each time we are with someone, and love that person, whether he or she knows how to love us or not. And this will connect you with others who are all-loving and ready for sharing and caring as God's family.
 
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Hazelelponi

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I find it really ironic (is that right word or is there a better word) telling God in prayer
that I'm lonely.

I know the right answer is supposed to be, if you have a real and intimate relationship with God
you shouldn't be lonely, otherwise that is like saying to God, He doesn't complete me and He's not
enough, which I know is wrong and supposed to be wrong.

I want to have human friends, companion, partner, camaraderie, family..... but it makes me feel like
saying that to God is like telling him, "you're just not enough".

No... Your telling God your a human being with normal human needs. He knows this, this is why he gave wives to husbands etc.

We are social creatures, made in God's image. We need one another. It's a good thing to tell God what you need.
 
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Halbhh

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To Everyone:

Wonderfully Jesus answered this question fully.

So, let's just listen and hear. (so, the more full quote)


1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God ; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4You know the way to the place where I am going.”

5 Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”

6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

8 Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”

9 Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. 11 Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. 12 Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

15 “If you love me, keep my commands. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”

22 Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”

23 Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. 24 Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me." ...

1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.

17 This is my command: Love each other.

I find it really ironic (is that right word or is there a better word) telling God in prayer
that I'm lonely.

I know the right answer is supposed to be, if you have a real and intimate relationship with God
you shouldn't be lonely, otherwise that is like saying to God, He doesn't complete me and He's not
enough, which I know is wrong and supposed to be wrong.

I want to have human friends, companion, partner, camaraderie, family..... but it makes me feel like
saying that to God is like telling him, "you're just not enough".
 
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Solo81

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"
I know the right answer is supposed to be, if you have a real and intimate relationship with God
you shouldn't be lonely, otherwise that is like saying to God, He doesn't complete me and He's not
enough, which I know is wrong and supposed to be wrong."

Whoever told you that is wrong.
People are flesh and spirit; not solely spirit.

Pray and ask for more companions as if everything depended on that prayer. Go and act as if everything depended on your own efforts.
Friendship develops over time so don't expect to meet 'a brother' straight away.
Widen your exposure to people; speak with those you meet in your everyday life, etc.
God won't send them knocking on your door, you'll have to go to where people are.
 
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Halbhh

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I know the right answer is supposed to be, if you have a real and intimate relationship with God
you shouldn't be lonely, otherwise that is like saying to God, He doesn't complete me and He's not
enough, which I know is wrong and supposed to be wrong."
I can help on this one. What Christ is saying to us above (post just above with the passage) is that if we do as He commanded and then God will come and make His home with us.

So, we have to do "love one another", actually doing this, and then we will receive the amazing blessing of God coming to us to make a home with us. (not to mention the other big effect that when we love others they love us back and we are no longer lonely just from that!)

Better than anything I say though is if you read His words to you and me for yourself.


Consider.... Christ knows far more about this than halbhh or Solo81 or anyone else here responding.
 
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Jimmy It

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I find it really ironic (is that right word or is there a better word) telling God in prayer
that I'm lonely.

I know the right answer is supposed to be, if you have a real and intimate relationship with God
you shouldn't be lonely, otherwise that is like saying to God, He doesn't complete me and He's not
enough, which I know is wrong and supposed to be wrong.

I want to have human friends, companion, partner, camaraderie, family..... but it makes me feel like
saying that to God is like telling him, "you're just not enough".
Adam was lonely for human companionship and he walked with God.
On another subject, "A person who is lonely when alone is poor company."
 
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seeker2122

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Adam was lonely for human companionship and he walked with God.
On another subject, "A person who is lonely when alone is poor company."
I wonder if Adam told God he was lonely and needed a companion and then God granted him his request or if God just initiated first in providing him a 'suitable helper' without Adam's consent or desire to have a partner? I know when we read Genesis it doesn't say Adam specifically felt lonely and needed to petition to God to make him a companion. It seems that God just went ahead and made one for Him.

Why do I feel guilty whenever I tell God the same thing because truthfully I think finding someone to share life with intimately is more what I need now than to be alone with God and just somehow feel not lonely. Does that make any sense?
 
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seeker2122

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"
I know the right answer is supposed to be, if you have a real and intimate relationship with God
you shouldn't be lonely, otherwise that is like saying to God, He doesn't complete me and He's not
enough, which I know is wrong and supposed to be wrong."

Whoever told you that is wrong.
People are flesh and spirit; not solely spirit.

Pray and ask for more companions as if everything depended on that prayer. Go and act as if everything depended on your own efforts.
Friendship develops over time so don't expect to meet 'a brother' straight away.
Widen your exposure to people; speak with those you meet in your everyday life, etc.
God won't send them knocking on your door, you'll have to go to where people are.

very encouraging thank you. Some people are just naturally outgoing, extroverted and love to engage with people, others are more introverted and find it difficult to approach or initiate....I wonder how it applies to the two differing personalities? Should we just say that introversion is not healthy and teach everyone to just be outgoing and engaging with people?

Does God apply or cater to each individual's unique characteristic traits He gave them or does he expect everyone to align and follow the same prescription for all?

If he knows that introverted people will struggle to go out there and engage and initiate and make things happen but extroverted will find this to be right in their wheelhouse and in their natural element, then wouldn't he approach introverts a bit differently or does he just expect all introverts to be like extroverts?

Another example would be like species of animals.
Birds can fly and mice cannot.
So if food is found on the top of trees and mountains, would God expect mice to just change their habits be like birds and find a way up there?
It's easier for birds because it's in their natural element and wheelhouse but for mice, it's asking a bit much to change.
Wouldn't God provide mice with food on the land and not expect them to have to somehow scale great heights as birds can do?
(although I know birds get their food on the ground too but just saying it's easier for birds to get something at the mountain tops or tree tops).
 
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RDKirk

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I wonder if Adam told God he was lonely and needed a companion and then God granted him his request or if God just initiated first in providing him a 'suitable helper' without Adam's consent or desire to have a partner? I know when we read Genesis it doesn't say Adam specifically felt lonely and needed to petition to God to make him a companion. It seems that God just went ahead and made one for Him.

Why do I feel guilty whenever I tell God the same thing because truthfully I think finding someone to share life with intimately is more what I need now than to be alone with God and just somehow feel not lonely. Does that make any sense?
It appears to have been God's initial determination, and it was certainly God who declared that it was not goof for Adam to be alone. Of all that God had created to that point and declared good, God declared that Adam being alone was not good.

It may not have mattered whether Adam was aware of "loneliness" at that point in time. His being alone was "not good" by God's declaration.
 
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I wonder if Adam told God he was lonely and needed a companion and then God granted him his request or if God just initiated first in providing him a 'suitable helper' without Adam's consent or desire to have a partner? I know when we read Genesis it doesn't say Adam specifically felt lonely and needed to petition to God to make him a companion. It seems that God just went ahead and made one for Him.

Why do I feel guilty whenever I tell God the same thing because truthfully I think finding someone to share life with intimately is more what I need now than to be alone with God and just somehow feel not lonely. Does that make any sense?
Yes, it makes sense. As long as God is the first priority I don't think that there is anything wrong in asking for a companion or a spouse (assuming that you're not already married). I suggest praying that He will bring someone into your life and maybe try some internet dating sites; just read the safety guidelines before posting. As a Christian though your future spouse should also be a Christian. I hope you find what you are looking for and don't feel guilty about wanting someone to share your life with. God bless.
 
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Jimmy It

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I wonder if Adam told God he was lonely and needed a companion and then God granted him his request or if God just initiated first in providing him a 'suitable helper' without Adam's consent or desire to have a partner? I know when we read Genesis it doesn't say Adam specifically felt lonely and needed to petition to God to make him a companion. It seems that God just went ahead and made one for Him.

Why do I feel guilty whenever I tell God the same thing because truthfully I think finding someone to share life with intimately is more what I need now than to be alone with God and just somehow feel not lonely. Does that make any sense?
"The Lamb that was slain before the foundations of the earth." God already knew man would fall, He had a plan. All we have is God saying, "It is not right for man the man to be alone." God knew Adam felt a need for his own kind. He also knew that In the fullness of time Christ would need to be born in the likeness of man. It was necessary that all proceeded as per His plan, at His appointed time. It still is.
 
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Hazelelponi

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I wonder if Adam told God he was lonely and needed a companion and then God granted him his request or if God just initiated first in providing him a 'suitable helper' without Adam's consent or desire to have a partner? I know when we read Genesis it doesn't say Adam specifically felt lonely and needed to petition to God to make him a companion. It seems that God just went ahead and made one for Him.

Why do I feel guilty whenever I tell God the same thing because truthfully I think finding someone to share life with intimately is more what I need now than to be alone with God and just somehow feel not lonely. Does that make any sense?

If you read various prayers in the old testament people really did cry out to God in their anguish over life stuff... even the strongest people did.

As far as the creation of Eve, it's that God knows our needs before we can even voice them...

God is preparing you for your wife and her for you. Go out and be more social so you can meet people in your age group. You'll find her.
 
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65James

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As a much older single who know how it feels to have resentment toward God for still being unwed I might be sinning but you are not. Paul states that we have power to led a wife/husband if we wish, I Corinthians 9:4-5. This is why one thing that set me off more than anything else is when married people tell singles that he/she have the gift of singleness this is such a rare ability and most of us don’t have it. In the Garden of Eden before the fall everything was called good except for this (and it goes for both sexes):
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Genesis 2:18

In the NT we are given liberty in Jesus Christ, Galatians 5:13, I Peter 2:15-17. So with this liberty you are doing no wrong in wanting someone. Plus God is not questioning your love for Him, for wanting someone’s in your life. Hopefully He is getting ready for you to met your desire:
Hope deferred maketh the heart sick, but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.
Proverbs 13:12
 
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