What de-conversion feels like

[Cat59]

Conversion is far more than acting Christian for a long time.

Rad

I think we'll just have to accept we differ. Thanks for answering.
Cat

 

[spirit1st]

Well ,I look at it different?With out CHRIST JESUS ?Your dead,looking for the spot ,you will fall too!
Living for nothing,dying for less!
Never truly knowing LOVE or JOY or even peace.just being led of evil spirits to your death.To awake in a worse place.screaming and crying.begging for mercy!
I know?I been there !

 

[Rae]

There is no hell. No Gods would ever be so evil as to punish honest disbelief with eternal torment. Hell is a human revenge fantasy, wrongly attributed to the Gods.

 

[Cat59]

Well ,I look at it different?With out CHRIST JESUS ?Your dead,looking for the spot ,you will fall too!
Living for nothing,dying for less!
Never truly knowing LOVE or JOY or even peace.just being led of evil spirits to your death.To awake in a worse place.screaming and crying.begging for mercy!
I know?I been there !

I appreciate your concern. No one likes to think of their fellows suffering an eternity of torment. But it was precisely that thought which started me on the train of thinking to where I am now, where I do not believe in god anymore. Just as you cannot bear this thought, of people suffering, how can God if he is so much more than you?

 

[Eudaimonist]

Well ,I look at it different?With out CHRIST JESUS ?Your dead,looking for the spot ,you will fall too!
Living for nothing,dying for less!

I live for values very important to me, including my integrity.

Never truly knowing LOVE or JOY or even peace.

I know these quite well. I know you'll never believe this, but oh well.

just being led of evil spirits to your death

The "better angels of my nature" are doing quite well.

To awake in a worse place.screaming and crying.begging for mercy!
I know?I been there !

I doubt that such a place exists, but as long as I keep my integrity, I'll be in the right place.

 

[ACougar]

I see nothing wrong with the Christian path, it is the best path out there for many. Allowing yourself to be terrorised by fear of hell is sort of sad though, if your going to follow it at least do so for Love and not Fear.

Well ,I look at it different?With out CHRIST JESUS ?Your dead,looking for the spot ,you will fall too!
Living for nothing,dying for less!
Never truly knowing LOVE or JOY or even peace.just being led of evil spirits to your death.To awake in a worse place.screaming and crying.begging for mercy!
I know?I been there !

 

[Grizzly]

Well ,I look at it different?With out CHRIST JESUS ?Your dead,looking for the spot ,you will fall too!
Living for nothing,dying for less!
Never truly knowing LOVE or JOY or even peace.just being led of evil spirits to your death.To awake in a worse place.screaming and crying.begging for mercy!
I know?I been there !

I hate to be the one to tell you, but someone has to.

You've been deceived. Not intentionally, but a deception has occured nonetheless. You've been told things that are, in all likelihood, untrue. You've been told that an All-Loving and All-Powerful God is everywhere and he cares a great deal that you believe he exists. So much so, infact, that he is willing to torture you forever for unbelief. Even though making his existence known would be the easiest thing in the world for this being, he somehow remains invisible, untouchable, unknowable. Yet, your apparent "soul" is at risk if you doubt his existence. Why? Because that's what you've been told to believe. You've been told that a 2,000 year old book written by ancient men contains a record of his will. Men have used this book for ages to keep people in subservience to authority (either the government or the priesthood).

But I have to tell you, it's simply not true. There is no God waiting to torture billions of souls for a simple lack of belief. I wish you could believe me, but I know one post doesn't stand a chance against years of programing. But I felt that I at least had to give it a shot. Perhaps if enough people raise the issue, you may feel compelled to look into it yourself.

Good luck to you

Grizzly

 

[spirit1st]

Well ,I know you know no better.I have been DEAD TWICE.I know your future,and its very bad.
Once i died ,I did not know GOD as FATHER ,I had tried lots of things in life,only kinda happy for a short time.When I died .it was very bad.

The nexct time this took place,I had been BORN OF GOD!I now knew JOY and peace and happiness.This time?DEATH was wonderful.I saw the city in space.But ask MY LORD JESUS CHRIST ,to allow me to return for my familys sake.Here I am.
Of course a person would not know true joy unless they experianced it once!
So without the new birth .No one knows .They judge by others llifes or just what they think must be joy.
But it is nothing compared to real joy!Which only comes from knowing the TRUTH.
No one can change anyone or make them believe any different.
Only until a person sees no good thing in life,can they seek the LORD .other wise they grow harder and harder in there heasrts until they have little or no mercy on others .Then ,i think few can change!
EVeryone on earth always thinks they are right.But deep inside they know,something is missing?ITS THE LORD .

 

[spirit1st]

I see nothing wrong with the Christian path, it is the best path out there for many. Allowing yourself to be terrorised by fear of hell is sort of sad though, if your going to follow it at least do so for Love and not Fear.

If your in a boat?And other are getting ready to jump in the water ,and many sharks are waiting on them too jump.DO YOU TELL THE TRUTH,that some may not jump.or do you say.?I LOVE YOU JUMP IF YOU WANT TO?

 

[MQTA]

I hate to be the one to tell you, but someone has to.

You've been deceived. Not intentionally, but a deception has occured nonetheless. You've been told things that are, in all likelihood, untrue. You've been told that an All-Loving and All-Powerful God is everywhere and he cares a great deal that you believe he exists. So much so, infact, that he is willing to torture you forever for unbelief. Even though making his existence known would be the easiest thing in the world for this being, he somehow remains invisible, untouchable, unknowable. Yet, your apparent "soul" is at risk if you doubt his existence. Why? Because that's what you've been told to believe. You've been told that a 2,000 year old book written by ancient men contains a record of his will. Men have used this book for ages to keep people in subservience to authority (either the government or the priesthood).

But I have to tell you, it's simply not true. There is no God waiting to torture billions of souls for a simple lack of belief. I wish you could believe me, but I know one post doesn't stand a chance against years of programing. But I felt that I at least had to give it a shot. Perhaps if enough people raise the issue, you may feel compelled to look into it yourself.

Good luck to you

Grizzly

Very Brave! I guess it's safe to say things you know will fall on deaf ears?

 

[Grizzly]

Very Brave! I guess it's safe to say things you know will fall on deaf ears?

Sometimes things just need to be said, whether there is any hope or not. Maybe no one has ever told him that there is an alternative way of thinking about these things. Who knows....

 

[MQTA]

Sometimes things just need to be said, whether there is any hope or not. Maybe no one has ever told him that there is an alternative way of thinking about these things. Who knows....

does the phrase lead balloon mean anything to ya? LOL

 

[spirit1st]

Your wrong,I have no FEAR of anything NOW.I know I can not sin again ,I know I am part of the family of GOD.I no longer keep me.HE KEEPS ME!
You don"t know HIm or the scriptures.
You live in a world with out light.walking in darkness ,You can not control yourself.You think ,you rule your own life?But do not.As you grow older,your heart will hardern.Ever see some old people .hating everything and anythiong.But fearing death ,hanging with all they can .suffering every day of there lifes.
They once were sweet little babys.But they were like you when older.cold ,with few feelings .very selfish .As the grew older,they became worse.until there own kids could not stand them .Now in the end days ,they are alone ,with out much hope or any one too care.THIS IS YOUR FUTURE!
Then you go too a worse place!
BEcause you would not like heaven.There is no place for hate ,or being self centered ,or hard feelings.but evil thoughts or evil deeds.
No this person could not fit in.
WE WERE CREATED FOR GODS PLEASuRE.HE WANTED KIDS.HE ONLY WANTS THOSE WILLING TO ACCEPT HIM AS CREATOR AND LORD !
WHY WOULD HE WANT EVIL PEOPLE AS KIDS OF LOVE?
YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART?There is a GOD.But have been tricked into thinking.You do not need the creator.But will live as you please.WHICH YOU CANNOT.Because satan rules you.He makes you do many things and put many evil thoughts in your mind.The jails and nut houses are full of these type people.each were nice little babys .Most are very evil.It starts slow,but builds into a bad being.ONLY we can stop the process.But after we reach a certain stage,we can not turn back.The mind is destoryed!NO person on earth is in charge of there own lives.many lie too them selfs and say?I am in control.They are not.They get nutty desires that are not normal.but they begin to think?I am just different?Another word for being wacky.Fearing to tell others ,what is really going on in there minds.GOD will not FORCE ANY.But the price in this life and a greater price after the flesh dies.BUT WE CAN NOT DIE.WE LIVE FOREVER.BECAUSE WE ARE SPIRITS.living in these weak bodys.Many people suffer because sin has bought sickness to there bodys.This is very sad.and should not be.Even in GODS KIDS ,many suffer.YOU LOSE A LOT,BY NOT KNOWING HIM AS FATHER AND FRIEND.I BEEN HEALED MANY TIMES .SAW MANY MIRACLES IN MY LIFE.RAISED MY MOTHER AND A SON ,THAT WERE DEAD .HAVE LOTS OF THINGS THE LORD GAVE ME,I WOULD NOT CHANGE MY LIFE IN CHRIST JESUS ,FOR EVERYTHING ON EARTH.
YOU HAVE NEVER KNOWN HIM.HOW COULD YOU JUDGE HIM?I KNOW HIM I JUDGE HIM WONDERFUL .

 

[Grizzly]

does the phrase lead balloon mean anything to ya? LOL

Sure. I didn't expect spirit1st to have an epiphany or anything. Smack himself on the head and say "Darn, I never thought about it like that!".

My post is actually related to one of the most perplexing questions that I have had since I deconverted.....How did I actually believe this stuff in the first place? I've always been a skeptical person, yet I had always reserved some "blind spot" where religion was concerned. It took me a long time to finally "look at the man behind the curtain". It's still a mystery how I once believed these things. But one thing I do remember is finally being confronted by someone who actually did not believe them. He challenged me to think critically about what I knew and how I knew it. It was just a start, but it lead me to where I am today.

 

[MQTA]

Your wrong,I have no FEAR of anything NOW.I know I can not sin again ,I know I am part of the family of GOD.I no longer keep me.HE KEEPS ME!
You don"t know HIm or the scriptures.
You live in a world with out light.walking in darkness ,You can not control yourself.You think ,you rule your own life?But do not.As you grow older,your heart will hardern.Ever see some old people .hating everything and anythiong.But fearing death ,hanging with all they can .suffering every day of there lifes.
They once were sweet little babys.But they were like you when older.cold ,with few feelings .very selfish .As the grew older,they became worse.until there own kids could not stand them .Now in the end days ,they are alone ,with out much hope or any one too care.THIS IS YOUR FUTURE!
Then you go too a worse place!

Who are you projecting this on to? Doesn't seem to describe the FAM icons I've come to know here.

 

[Grizzly]

Your wrong,I have no FEAR of anything NOW.I know I can not sin again ,I know I am part of the family of GOD.I no longer keep me.HE KEEPS ME!
You don"t know HIm or the scriptures.
You live in a world with out light.walking in darkness ,You can not control yourself.You think ,you rule your own life?But do not.As you grow older,your heart will hardern.Ever see some old people .hating everything and anythiong.But fearing death ,hanging with all they can .suffering every day of there lifes.
They once were sweet little babys.But they were like you when older.cold ,with few feelings .very selfish .As the grew older,they became worse.until there own kids could not stand them .Now in the end days ,they are alone ,with out much hope or any one too care.THIS IS YOUR FUTURE!
Then you go too a worse place!
BEcause you would not like heaven.There is no place for hate ,or being self centered ,or hard feelings.but evil thoughts or evil deeds.
No this person could not fit in.
WE WERE CREATED FOR GODS PLEASuRE.HE WANTED KIDS.HE ONLY WANTS THOSE WILLING TO ACCEPT HIM AS CREATOR AND LORD !
WHY WOULD HE WANT EVIL PEOPLE AS KIDS OF LOVE?
YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART?There is a GOD.But have been tricked into thinking.You do not need the creator.But will live as you please.WHICH YOU CANNOT.Because satan rules you.He makes you do many things and put many evil thoughts in your mind.The jails and nut houses are full of these type people.each were nice little babys .Most are very evil.It starts slow,but builds into a bad being.ONLY we can stop the process.But after we reach a certain stage,we can not turn back.The mind is destoryed!NO person on earth is in charge of there own lives.many lie too them selfs and say?I am in control.They are not.They get nutty desires that are not normal.but they begin to think?I am just different?Another word for being wacky.Fearing to tell others ,what is really going on in there minds.GOD will not FORCE ANY.But the price in this life and a greater price after the flesh dies.BUT WE CAN NOT DIE.WE LIVE FOREVER.BECAUSE WE ARE SPIRITS.living in these weak bodys.Many people suffer because sin has bought sickness to there bodys.This is very sad.and should not be.Even in GODS KIDS ,many suffer.YOU LOSE A LOT,BY NOT KNOWING HIM AS FATHER AND FRIEND.I BEEN HEALED MANY TIMES .SAW MANY MIRACLES IN MY LIFE.RAISED MY MOTHER AND A SON ,THAT WERE DEAD .HAVE LOTS OF THINGS THE LORD GAVE ME,I WOULD NOT CHANGE MY LIFE IN CHRIST JESUS ,FOR EVERYTHING ON EARTH.
YOU HAVE NEVER KNOWN HIM.HOW COULD YOU JUDGE HIM?I KNOW HIM I JUDGE HIM WONDERFUL .

So here we are. I think you deceived, and you believe I am ruled by Satan and will in all likelihood be turned into a cold-hearted criminal who will walk in darkness with increasingly wacky thoughts until I die and am roasted in hell-fire for all eternity by your All-Loving God.

I think that sums it up.

But one question. Does believing in God make you all-knowing? How on earth can you claim to know anything about me and what my future holds? Don't you think that's a bit of a stretch?

 

[spirit1st]

Many claim they were once a christain[christ like]
They never were.They just went to church as many do.NEVER HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.NEVER HEARING HIM OR TALKING WITH HIM.I call it ?playing christain.
BECAUSE IT IS AND WAS ?ALL ABOUT THE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP.
TALKING BACK AND FORTH!
Gal 6:15 For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision, but a new creature
2Co 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
Joh 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
Joh 3:7 Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.
1Pe 1:23 Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth forever.
THIS IS A CHRISTAIN .Anything else is a phony.
Eph 4:24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
I guess there are far more phonys than real christains.
Joh 3:6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
I TOO ,WAS ONCE A PHONY!
BUT NOW I KNOW!
once a person REALLY KNOWS GOD!NOTHING ON EARTH MEANS MORE TOO THEM!

 

[Cat59]

Sure. I didn't expect spirit1st to have an epiphany or anything. Smack himself on the head and say "Darn, I never thought about it like that!".

My post is actually related to one of the most perplexing questions that I have had since I deconverted.....How did I actually believe this stuff in the first place? I've always been a skeptical person, yet I had always reserved some "blind spot" where religion was concerned. It took me a long time to finally "look at the man behind the curtain". It's still a mystery how I once believed these things. But one thing I do remember is finally being confronted by someone who actually did not believe them. He challenged me to think critically about what I knew and how I knew it. It was just a start, but it lead me to where I am today.

Belief is held to be a thing of great value as a Christian, and disbelief and doubt weaknesses that must be fought. If like me you moved in mainly Christian circles, this would have been continually reinforced in one way or another, in the preaching, the talk, the prayers. Hence even a skeptical mind may take a while to question.

 

[Cat59]

Many claim they were once a christain[christ like]
They never were.They just went to church as many do.NEVER HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.NEVER HEARING HIM OR TALKING WITH HIM.I call it ?playing christain.

And in a way, you are right.
Ask yourself if there is no god, are we all playing at being Christian?

 

[spirit1st]

No,I would have to say,I been a loner.Never trusting man or believing much in his words.Never read books ,but the bible.Talk with GOD and trust HIM.
HAD more spiritual blessing than most people on the earth.I never used to tell others my testamonys.But about 2 years ago.GOD TOLD ME TO TELL THEM .I did not want to.But when HE said this?I started typing and typed 14 pages of testamonys.since then ,I have more.I posted a few here in testamonys.I have had most everything in the new testament.But i never walked on water .nor been translated ,unless you count when I died and went too NEW JERUSALEM .Its in space headed here to recieve the real church!
Before the great tribulation,When most all people on earth will die!
GOD is pretty well tired of man killing and destorying each other.Here alone in the u.s.a. we have killed obver 43,000,000 babys.not counting many people killed and tortured each year in this nation.Many very bad things take place daily here in this nation.
As a people we are very evil to each other.Not all people ,but LOTS are.Many people are on drugs to hold back there evil desires.prisons are full.they need bigger ones .nut houses are full.they just put them on the streets.VERY BAD WORLD.Even nature has become a problem and will get MUCH WORSE IN THE YEARS AHEAD.Down this way hurricanes are getting worse .Next year I expect many to suffer because of this.But earth quakes will be the ones.unless man start setting off these nukes?Which could happen with so many insane people in control!
NOW FOR THE GOOD NEWS
WE CAN BE WITH THE LORD ,WHEN THESE THINGS TAKE PLACE>IN A CITY ,HE MADE FOR US!SINGING AND DANCING AND FULL OF JOY! BUT WE MUST BE BORN AGAIN???