What Can God Do?

[Ace99]

I just wanted to show anyone what God can do for all those struggling, Jesus loves you, and he is capable of loving us beyond what we could ever imagine, here's what he's done for me. ( I AM ON THE 12 STEP PROGRAMME BUT MINE IS CALLED STEP BY STEP)

here is my testimony, here goes I will try my best, I was brought up in a poor background, primary school was great for me, I really enjoyed it, great friends but we moved and for me that's when my troubles started, I was 6 and I knew it was a matter of hanging out with the people on my estate or staying at home, I chose staying at home I would read books for most of my years up to the age of 16, it was hard for me because it really gave me a fear of talking to others, the only things I enjoyed was sports, at primary school I was bullied but at secondary school I enjoyed it and had made a couple of friends but talking to new people was impossible, it took me a while to get the friends I had and I clung on to them. Which is why at creationfest i could not help but to praise god because he had taken away my fears of all this and i can finally talk to others. The only thing I enjoyed apart from sports and reading was gambling, I begun gambling at the age of 12, I saw my mum put a few pound into a slot machine and from that moment in I was hooked, when it was my thirteenth birthday, I remember going to the arcades putting in all my birthday money and going home crying, I was so distraught, I couldn't believe what I had done but i soon got over it and gambling soon become my first love all the way up to 33 years old. When I was 16 I had another love, I fell in love with this girl, it was true love, I really loved her but she dumped me after three months and I started taking drugs, it really eased the pain and got my mind of the hurt I was feeling inside, at 18 after two years of taking lots of different drugs, I had to stop my mind had collapsed, I'd really wrecked it, I started hallucinating of LSD and my brain never stopped I hallucinated nearly every day for seven years. I started drinking alcohol at 19 and soon became an alcoholic, I met this girl it was going good and although I drank a lot she accepted it and two years later we married, I just gambled and drank, nothing changed, so by the age of 23 I was divorced. I then moved and started taking drugs this time my main drug of choice was ecstasy, it really messed with my mind, I was drinking more and more, I had since about 23 listened to a band called the doors an old rock group from the 60's I listened to the music and eventually was convinced that the lead singer was a god but only I could see it and ghat he was sending me messages through his music, telling me to cause pain to myself and the more pain I caused the more I would be nearer to being released from this world. To quote his words when asked about death " life hurts more, when you die the pains over" I truly believed this, so I started self harming and then eventually taking overdoses, my drinking was out of control, I was a complete wreck, a few years later I lost everything house, friends, job, I had nothing, I was homeless, I had a complete breakdown. I managed to get into supported housing and although my I was still drinking and gambling, although I didn't know it my life was about to be turned around by my saviour, my loving merciful god, my sister was a Christian, she had been praying for me for 13 years, to come to know god, after another drinking session again I rung up my sister looking for answers, I had broken her, years of
Looking to her for answers, drunk and drug induced, she gave up, I can't do this anymore she said, you must go to god only he can help you, so I did I had used up every resource, he was my last chance saloon, I looked in the mirror, who was this person staring back at me, I didn't know him, I drank another sip of whiskey, what is this drink. I didn't even recognise that, that's it, God can you turn my life around, I can't do nothing, only pour the rest of this bottle away, that's all I have the strength to do, that's what I did, he helped me and is helping me, every step of the way, you see I'm powerless without him, I feel so blessed, I absolutely need my loving lord to survive, I can do nothing without him, but I can do everything with Christ who strengthens me. My loving lord got me on medication to help me straighten out things In my head, which now I have stopped after two years of taking them, I stopped them six months ago, which is the same amount I have stopped smoking, it's been three years that I haven't taken drugs, the same with gambling and after a few blips on and off with alcohol it's been a year. The lord is so patient and kInd, he has brought me into a great church, I have been at college for two years, I'm finishing my last year then I will have a diploma in health and social care, so I can work with adults who have learning disabilites, i already volunteer working with them and there such amazing people, i can see jesus in each and every one of them, his love shines through them and it gives me such love for them, somewhere along the road of life, I would like to be a pastor and teach the bible, also the recovery programme I'm on, in the next year I will be finished and I will be helping others in their recovery. I'm so blessed. God is so amazing, he is stripping away my fears right in front of my eyes. Thankyou for reading this post, I know it might not have been easy to read, if I am truthful, this isn't even half of it but I didn't want to put too much in. God bless, sorry if there are any mistakes this is done on my I phone the buttons are really close together.

 

[If Not For Grace]

Have you made any amends yet? How'd that Go? According to AA it takes 6 months of sobriety for every year you spent drinking to really become sober. Till they they call it a dry drunk. Does step by step work that way?

 

[Ace99]

If not for GRACE, Step by step is a transforming programme, there is only in England but there will be another one starting soon, in another town. So we have what we call foundation steps, to do before we tackle the 12 steps, things like denial, powerlessness, being unmanagable e.t.c. i will be starting step 1 soon, ive done the programme up to step 10, then the person decided the programme wasnt doing the full justice, so we have started again from the begining, alongside this is see a councellor, in step by step. we dont fully focus on the addiction, so for example i have had problems with gambling in the past, as well as alcohol and drugs, it is more for us about lifestyle choices and learning how to choose a different life, and learning the tools to start again, though we do follow the twelve steps. I have found it very beneficial and it has helped me a great deal. I havent drank for nearly a year and i havent taken drugs for nearly three years, but for me its not about that for example, about a year ago i drank i relapsed, but i did not let that stop me one bit carrying on with the programme, there was no guilt or shame, as these things happen, but i was able to carry on because of the tools I have learnt, it is christian based but we welcome all people from all backgrounds. we are a family, we see each other outside of the programme and a lot of us go to the same church and we all hang out with each other, go for coffees or go to the cinema for example. i will make ammends to the people ive hurt but its not time yet but ive moved on so much in the past three years, but theres still lots of work to do. GOD BLESS YOU.

 

[If Not For Grace]

Change your playgrounds and change your playmates-

for us in the US (see step 8 &9) I had this idea when I started that when I was ready to go apologize and confess my wrongs and offer to make up for wrongs that I had done that people would be receptive to that idea. I was wrong. People whom I have harmed are not interested in forgivness nor reconcillation and basicly told me to shove it where the sun don't shine. ...so just in case you have the same "expectatiion" it might or might not go the way you think. I realize the offer is more important than the deed and that no "good work" can make up for a wrong done with malice (which I had done in the past) but there is little mention of those steps here and all the ones I have ever heard had "fairy tale" type endings-just was not what I expereienced.

THE TWELVE STEPS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS​

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become
unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to
sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God​

​

​

​

as we
understood Him.​

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature
of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make
amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do
so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly
admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with
God,​

​

​

​

as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us
and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to
carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our
affairs.​

Copyright
A.A. World Services, Inc

 

[Forge3]

wrong thread

 

[Forge3]

Double post hiccup

 

[Ace99]

If not for Grace, the steps are exactly the same in the same order, I can imagine how hard it was to say sorry to someone and for them to say SO WHAT, you will never change, or something like that, but to a certain degree its not even about them, it is about YOU. You cant change their behaviours, all you can do is change your own and they have a choice to either accept it or tell you to get lost, but for you its about not having to carry that guilt inside you for the rest of your life, Once you have tried to make ammends you can do no more, I know its hard but its about your recovery and no one elses. God will help you with all of this read ROMANS 8 V 31 and 32 God Bless you.

 

[If Not For Grace]

I could not agree more, it was just another lesson I learned about expectations and how I had to deal with things going differently than I expected.

 

[Ace99]

If not for grace, life has a habit of going different than we expect, for example take recovery i have gone into thinking i will do this and i will do that, and if i keep doing it that will be my recovery, but god has his own plans for my recovery and to be honest ive been so frustrated by them, see i've wanted to go forging ahead and be recovered within a week, all by my own effort and all for my own glory. but god has his own plans and in his own timing. How are things going for you? i know its not easy if you ever want to talk to someone, im here to talk to you can always pm if you want, im not sure what youve been through for me its mainly gambling, alcohol and drugs, thats been my main struggles from quite a young age, i was gambling at 12, injecting speed at 16, and a alcoholic at 19, life has been tough but God has looked after me. Anyway my sister must go, but thankyou for answering my thread. God Bless you.

 

[madison1101]

If not for GRACE, Step by step is a transforming programme, there is only in England but there will be another one starting soon, in another town. So we have what we call foundation steps, to do before we tackle the 12 steps, things like denial, powerlessness, being unmanagable e.t.c. i will be starting step 1 soon, ive done the programme up to step 10, then the person decided the programme wasnt doing the full justice, so we have started again from the begining, alongside this is see a councellor, in step by step. we dont fully focus on the addiction, so for example i have had problems with gambling in the past, as well as alcohol and drugs, it is more for us about lifestyle choices and learning how to choose a different life, and learning the tools to start again, though we do follow the twelve steps. I have found it very beneficial and it has helped me a great deal. I havent drank for nearly a year and i havent taken drugs for nearly three years, but for me its not about that for example, about a year ago i drank i relapsed, but i did not let that stop me one bit carrying on with the programme, there was no guilt or shame, as these things happen, but i was able to carry on because of the tools I have learnt, it is christian based but we welcome all people from all backgrounds. we are a family, we see each other outside of the programme and a lot of us go to the same church and we all hang out with each other, go for coffees or go to the cinema for example. i will make ammends to the people ive hurt but its not time yet but ive moved on so much in the past three years, but theres still lots of work to do. GOD BLESS YOU.

Do you have a sponsor? Is Alcoholics Anonymous in your area? I am sober just about two and a half years, and have completed all of the Steps of AA. It sounds like the Step by Step program takes a long time to do Step One. My experience was that I couldn't stay sober without completing all the 12 Steps of AA with my sponsor.

God bless.

 

[Ace99]

To madison 101, i know you probably will look at this and think yes, i havent started step one, but i have actually done to step 10, but the person that is in charge of the programme felt that that he needed to take us back from the beginning, im so glad he did, in some ways i dont just have one sponsor i have loads because i can talk to anyone on steps anytime, were all friends we all live in the same town, i get to see most of them at least three times a week, yes we have had to go back form the beginning but the programme is not about being how we were before i drank, or took drugs, or even gambled. its about being transformed, i could have gone through steps and i would have finished the steps but for me i really do want to be transformed into a new creation, i want to be as far from my old life as possible, i dont worry about not drinking, i have had about five lapses in two years, but ive never let it hold me back, for a year i havent drank, but ive learned a lot from them relapses, not that im proud of them for one second, but i will not let anything hold me back from moving on in life, i really believe jesus has the power to not only heal but transform a person, im so glad that you have been through the steps and that you have been sober for two and a half years, i do have AA very close by but for me i have found this works for me, im am truly happy that one of my sisters is doing so well, it is so hard giving up alcohol and other things that the world has to offer, keep pushing through and surrendering it all to god and he will help you through all of it. Psalm 40 says I waited patiently for the lord to help me and he heard my cry, he lifted me out of the mud and the mire, he set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as i walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our god. Many we will see what he has done and be amazed they will put their trust in the lord. May God Bless you my sister.

 

[If Not For Grace]

Well good for you all-but it took me 3-4 years to get Step One Down and even now (20+ yrs) I have to go back to it. It's just like studying the Bible I have to go back to topics like forgiveness, love and re-do and renew my mind. It's like the piano I played well when I practiced and played on a regular basis. I doubt I could play Silent Night now w/Sheet Music since I have not kept it up.

I still dont have step 3 down (I've said if you master that you got it..) and struggle with 6 all the time. The same is also said by alot of members in my group. I do FtoFace group and an on-line group (irregularly).

For me the steps are a lifelong process but I know they saved my life and brought me back to a relationship with God that I had quit on before. They made me able to set foot back in church-and finally taught me more about God than I ever learned in church. I am forever grateful I walked through the doors..best move I ever made.

 

[Ace99]

IF NOT FOR GRACE, im sorry if i came accross like i was there in recovery, because im not in anyway in fact i had some news today that really makes me want to drink again but i just cant go through all that again, thats what stops me, recovery is never easy and ive so far to come that its unreal, you have done something that is amazing to me, in staying of drink for 20 years, i have only done a year and im struggling, please my sister, dont think that im somehow showing off, i do say things without thinking of others feelings, so i am so sorry, i am foolish in my ways. i do hope you can forgive me. God bless you my sister.

 

[madison1101]

To madison 101, i know you probably will look at this and think yes, i havent started step one, but i have actually done to step 10, but the person that is in charge of the programme felt that that he needed to take us back from the beginning, im so glad he did, in some ways i dont just have one sponsor i have loads because i can talk to anyone on steps anytime, were all friends we all live in the same town, i get to see most of them at least three times a week, yes we have had to go back form the beginning but the programme is not about being how we were before i drank, or took drugs, or even gambled. its about being transformed, i could have gone through steps and i would have finished the steps but for me i really do want to be transformed into a new creation, i want to be as far from my old life as possible, i dont worry about not drinking, i have had about five lapses in two years, but ive never let it hold me back, for a year i havent drank, but ive learned a lot from them relapses, not that im proud of them for one second, but i will not let anything hold me back from moving on in life, i really believe jesus has the power to not only heal but transform a person, im so glad that you have been through the steps and that you have been sober for two and a half years, i do have AA very close by but for me i have found this works for me, im am truly happy that one of my sisters is doing so well, it is so hard giving up alcohol and other things that the world has to offer, keep pushing through and surrendering it all to god and he will help you through all of it. Psalm 40 says I waited patiently for the lord to help me and he heard my cry, he lifted me out of the mud and the mire, he set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as i walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our god. Many we will see what he has done and be amazed they will put their trust in the lord. May God Bless you my sister.

I totally understand the need to repeatedly go back to basics, and start over with the 12 Steps. I just now that the founders of AA were doing all 12 Steps in a short amount of time, lie a day or two. It's a rigorous and honest program.

The way I have learned the Steps is that the foundation is the First Three. The hard work is Steps Four through Nine. Ten through Twelve are the maintenance Steps we're to work daily, if possible. I am currently sponsoring another alcoholic, plus doing volunteer work at a drug and alcohol agency where I live.

I hope your program works for you. I was in relapse for two years, getting sober for two or three months, and then bingeing for a week. Finally, I ended up in an inpatient treatment facility, where I totally surrendered to the Lord, Step Three. It was after that when I realized I had never truly gotten past Step Seven, and had never worked all Twelve Steps with one sponsor.

I got out of rehab on February 1st, 2010. I did my Fourth Step according to the AA Big Book. Had given my Fifth Step to my psychotherapist, and had completed Step Nine by September. I have already begun another Fourth Step using a different format this time. I need to get back to that soon. This time, I am using a series of questions from the Overeaters Anonymous 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. I had completed this same format with one sponsor in 2002. This time, I am doing it for my life since being divorced, because my marriage ended in 2001.

I hope some of this encourages you in your journey toward sobriety.

 

[If Not For Grace]

Ace: I did not mean to imply anyone was boasting-I was just sharing my experience and I was brought to the 12-Steps by living with and alcoholic. (Al-Anon Member) So my experience may be a bit different. Sometimes I think the Al-Anon member is often "sicker" than the drinker. We "are not under the influence" of the booze yet our thinking is distorted and we act craizer than somebody on mind altering drugs.

I had to come out of a different kind of denial and this took along time. After all we think it's the drinker who is causing our problem not us. Talk about the blame game and a victim mentality. I used to drink heavily and after my soulmate died and some family members acted rudley, I went on a drinking spree that lasted about a yr.

I just sort of woke up one day & said that's not how I wanted to spend my life. As a result of that spree I had been around a bunch of drinkers, started dating/married one who turned out to be as hard core (3yrs later) as there ever was. He was very abusive BF it was over. I could not understand why he could not just "stop" as I had done. I could not understand how someone could go "down hill" so FAST. Yet I was swept up the mess of co-dependancy just as fast and could not see it. This man ended up shooting himself (he survived-that) iin front of me after having fired a gun at me..(Sometimes I joking say my life was saved by a lazy-boy recliner ) He later died from a heart attack at age 39 (drug related).

Anyway when you accept a victim, martyr type idenity..is a sick..sick thing. Add to that "self-righteousness" that accompanies many Al-Anons and you got yourself one difficult patient. )

It took years to realize he had his problem, BUT I WAS JUST AS Sick and needed to address My issues-I had been blind to things that were right in front of my face and denied their existence. I'm still working on them. I also fall back into old patterns of behaviors, but due to the tools the 12-steps gave me-I now recognize them much quicker and don't stay in that type of thinking nearly as long.

Madison is correct-about the steps. I would only add the if powerlessness is 1st grade-then the Serenity Prayer is kindegarten.

Until we get to step 4 We are not required to "do" (take any action) anything.

I resisted Step one for along time-When they told me I was powerless, I was like "no I can leave the "rascal"..I just don't know why I haven't. I thought it was becasue I was a "good christian" HA HA!-So I refused to accept that and told em so at the 1st couple of meetings i went to-so the patient group members said well skip Step-One for now..Read The literature, use the serenity prayer and go to step 2.

I said Oh I've been a believer-I got this one and they said-look at the "restore us to sanity" portion of the step. Had to study that and realize that I had been just as insane as the drinker. That also took awhile , Once I got that through my THICK skull I was able to go back to step one with a new understanding. So for the Al-anon member the order of the steps is not as crucial as for the drinker, but you can't pick and choose to do some and not the others.

I'm STILL dealing with Step 6 cause i got a couple of defects (that I KNOW are defects) That I really Love and don't WANT to let go of..Identified them years ago and Still hanging on--so I know I've still not completed that step, even though I have improved tremendously. AND IF I had step 3 done correctly-non of that would be at issue. So I'm Still working and still thankful..forever thankful for the steps. I would not be anywhere close to where I am today without em. They are what allowed me to "come back to God" and not hate the church beyond eternity as I had grown to do. The 12 steps finally made some sense out of all the "religious" stuff I had been trying to swallow for years. Having grown up "unchurched" all the huddler church mentality and church jargon confused me and the spiritual abuse that was rampant in the churches in my area had ALMOST made me turn away from God completely. The 12-steps brought me back and after having worked them for some years - I have "awakened" to the most spiritual life I've had in YEARS.

Boy that got LONG! What I really want to say is: We are all in this together.(and I'm Glad). The 12 Steps allow us to become family.

 

[kopite]

what a fantastic testimony, so simaralities to my life. these twelve steps who does them and where?

 

[madison1101]

what a fantastic testimony, so simaralities to my life. these twelve steps who does them and where?

All of the Anonymous groups are 12 Step groups. Alcoholics Anonymous is the original 12 Step recovery group, for people who want to stop drinking alcohol. All of the other groups are based on AA.

Some of the other 12 Step recovery groups are Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Codependents Anonymous, and Gamblers Anonymous. Al-Anon is a 12 Step group for family members of an alcoholic.

To find out where meetings are located, Google whichever group you are interested in, and see if you can find a link to search for meetings in your area.