What are you working on today to be a better you tomorrow?

[linux.poet]

sewing is something I need to pick up since I gave everything to my mom.. physical training takes quite a bit of dedication, and investing and personal finance also is something that could take a decade...

The key for me is to give myself a variety of things to do and break my day up into categorical time blocks with hour amounts for each variety of things. That way, I always know that I’m making progress. Nothing else works.

So let’s say I’m looking at the Biblical languages category. I have Mounce’s Greek book, I have Duolingo Greek and Hebrew, I have the languages forum here, I need to find a Hebrew class, etc. Each of those are valid methods to advance my knowledge of Biblical Languages, so I give myself a 2 hour block of time to do Biblical Languages and let my feelings decide which specific thing (the Greek book, the Duolingo, etc) I do in the block when it comes back around in my schedule. If my feelings can’t decide, they hate me and ragequit.

Most people don’t work this way, I don’t think. They like to let their logic decide their work and do one task at a time. At least that is how college is designed. I hated college.

Same here! I spent most of my 30s with all kinds of delving into those kinds of things and all kinds of paperwork. Little by little I'm trying to downsize and hopefully someday I will be able to get back to some of that. For scrapbooking type of reasons.

Heh. In my case, I’ve found that the Holy Spirit improves my intuition’s accuracy over time, and that I rarely need to refer to What Has Came Before.

if somehow I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already grasped it all or have already become perfect, but I press on if I may also take hold of that for which I was even taken hold of by Christ Jesus. Brothers and sisters, I do not regard myself as having taken hold of it yet ; but one thing I do :forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,

Thus memoir for me is a bit Scripture-violation-y. I get why people do it, trying to help people not suffer as much as they have, but no amount of memoir-reading really does that. You’re a different person and different trials will be coming.

But somehow, the act of writing things down ironically helps me to process the experience as I am going through it, and to remember the lessons for later. So I keep doing it even though I rarely refer to my previous notes.

 

[sampa]

to do and break my day up into categorical time blocks with hour

That's smart! It sounds like you have a handle on it. I do the same for my everyday task. I break things up into blocks.

One way I've helped my work schedule to stay on task is when I was working remotely I tried to go for a walk at 10:00 a.m. each day. Once we return to work I tried to continue that and invite others for it. It helps me put aside some things and move on to what really needs to get done.
And that only time blocks but I have a paper for each task with a sticky note on it. If it's not accomplish that day then I might move it into another day. And I will put those papers sometimes spread out in different parts of the house on the weekend to give me an idea of what needs to be done inside the house and outside or what errands I will be doing. Studies have definitely been set aside for the last 2 years.

But somehow, the act of writing things down ironically helps me to process the experience as I am going through it, and to remember

It's the same here with writing down I process things better. I'm probably the only one on my team at work that keeps us on task with customer request. I try to organize the schedule not only for myself but for others that may have forgotten about upcoming deadlines.

Do you know what your Myers Brigg is? It's a personality test.

 

[shineyourlight]

Working out and cooking a healthy cheeseburger casserole *drools*

Exercise is so important and it's something that has slipped away from me. Getting back into it to be a better me tomorrow. Cooking is also a passion and hobby of mine, so trying to get back into that since moving into an apartment with a tiny kitchen.

 

[Mr. Bultitude]

I've never paid more attention to what I'm eating and how I'm moving than currently in my life. I'm also going to school to learn to be a baker.

 

[bèlla]

I've never paid more attention to what I'm eating and how I'm moving than currently in my life. I'm also going to school to learn to be a baker.

How neat! What do you enjoy the most? I had culinary training years ago after a lengthy period spent in cooking forums (hobbyist and professional), food blogs (the original julie from the julie & julia film), monthly challenges (we chose a cookbook and one for baking), and local events (demonstrations and lessons from a well-known French chef).

I thought about high end catering or becoming a personal chef. But I wanted autonomy and the Lord had something else in mind. It wasn’t for naught and He’s given it back in a better guise.

What about you? Do you see a restaurant or bakery in your future or something else?

 

[Mr. Bultitude]

How neat! What do you enjoy the most? I had culinary training years ago after a lengthy period spent in cooking forums (hobbyist and professional), food blogs (the original julie from the julie & julia film), monthly challenges (we chose a cookbook and one for baking), and local events (demonstrations and lessons from a well-known French chef).

I thought about high end catering or becoming a personal chef. But I wanted autonomy and the Lord had something else in mind. It wasn’t for naught and He’s given it back in a better guise.

What about you? Do you see a restaurant or bakery in your future or something else?

Well, I'm starting classes for it next semester, so in about a month or two. I was studying to be a personal trainer until I found out that a degree isn't needed for that and honestly not even a certification if you're good enough at sales. So I plan to do some personal training on the side and I would like to work at a bakery I think. Probably not a restaurant, I've already done that so much. I was never much into cooking or exercise until I became a Christian recently, I thought they were old fashioned things. Now my perspective is totally different and I can see the value and honor and passion in these old things. I don't think it'll be an easy job, but it seems like a good way to support myself, my Church, and my future wife and kids.

 

[linux.poet]

Do you know what your Myers Brigg is? It's a personality test.

INTJ.

Which is why it's a level pain to get anything done. I can still hear my abusive dad insulting me by saying "you just do whatever you feel like doing" and "you can't do whatever you feel like doing". Well, if you leave me alone for any length of time, an INTJ's internal space is Ni-Fi, so I do whatever I feel like doing, and if you don't let me do whatever I feel like doing, I will do whatever I feel like doing anyway. Too bad.

Now my external function is Te-Se, so I will always try to appear logical and objective and sensible, and all of my communication will appear that way. If you sit and talk with me while I work, I magically become this logical machine and can solve all of the world's problems, but if you ask me to execute anything and walk away, nothing ever happens unless you basically seduce me or something like that (emotional support?). And I hate people who try to emotionally manipulate me because it strikes me as a ploy to get free work out of me, and I hate them because it usually works and they don't pay me enough. So I drive them away. My life is fun!

 

[bèlla]

So I plan to do some personal training on the side and I would like to work at a bakery I think. Probably not a restaurant, I've already done that so much.

The church is very deficient in that area. Your knowledge in health and personal training is a ministry in itself and a blessing.

I was never much into cooking or exercise until I became a Christian recently, I thought they were old fashioned things. Now my perspective is totally different and I can see the value and honor and passion in these old things. I don't think it'll be an easy job, but it seems like a good way to support myself, my Church, and my future wife and kids.

I like your perspective and preparedness. Getting things in place during this period is wise. It makes the next much easier.

I started cooking as an adult. I made things every now and then in my youth. But I took it serious later on and began with a book my grandmother gave me and never looked back. That morphed into baking, bread making, preserving, and beverages.

Now I’m exploring cheese and natural yeasts. I eliminated modern wheat from our diet and opted for ancient grains and specialty sweeteners beyond the norm. We explore different cuisines and I write my own recipes now.

I hasten to call food a ritual. But there’s a cathartic note to my time in the kitchen. I’m in my element. I like good food; seasonal, fresh, without modifiers. I’ve gone down the rabbit hole where I’m sourcing most items directly and built a network of farmers and suppliers.

To say I eat like a chef isn’t a stretch. But there’s a je ne sais quoi to my approach. Not fussy but decidedly French. I use shortcuts like the rest. But that came after I learned the proper way and refined it.

The beauty of embracing older methods is watching the table come alive. You move with the calendar and enjoy the bounty the ground produces and await the next.

I wish you much success on your journey. May your work and studies enrich those you know and love.

 

[Mr. Bultitude]

The church is very deficient in that area. Your knowledge in health and personal training is a ministry in itself and a blessing.

I wish you much success on your journey. May your work and studies enrich those you know and love.

Thank you. I am having a lot of success with my nutrition and exercise habits lately because of now considering them as a form of ministry or almsgiving. I can get a lot of people to trust my advice simply by being consistent. And thank you for sharing your story. I found it to be very moving and powerful. I think it is so much more than just eating to survive and it breaks my heart to see families spending their meals around a television set. I know what that is like, I've been there before, and the gratitude for my meals is something I can truly feel when I begin and end them with prayer and around others.

 

[bèlla]

Thank you. I am having a lot of success with my nutrition and exercise habits lately because of now considering them as a form of ministry or almsgiving.

When you see them from that guise and the gifts are flowing you experience otherworldly results. You don’t have to be the most knowledgeable or talented. Yielding begets much fruit. Never forget that.

I can get a lot of people to trust my advice simply by being consistent.

Meditate on the verses about the ant. Persistence and diligence are powerful tools. It’s the difference between gonna and another step forward. That’s the secret of most successful people. They set a goal and work towards it unrelentingly. The multiplication of their efforts creates the spoil.

And thank you for sharing your story. I found it to be very moving and powerful.

You’re welcome. I remember watching Martha Stewart when I was younger. I loved her aptitude. She was conversant in a lot and I wanted to do the same. I continued pursuing my interests and developing my proficiency. I recall a writing exercise that foretold my current state.

We had to create a series of books. We needed a title, table of contents, and the summary for the back page. I created a multi-volume lady’s manual. Some of the subjects I’d never undertaken. But I knew they belonged.

Once upon a time I admired Martha. One day I looked around and I’d reached that point. The things I imagined for the series have come to fruition. I’m that woman today and I’ve gone beyond it. Because God’s barometer is greater than ours. Our capacity isn’t what we believe its what He says. Taking the limits off myself was the turning point.

Whatever moves your heart spiritually (through joy or a burden) chase it with everything you’ve got. He put it there for a reason. Write it down and ask Him what He needs and tell Him you’ll be His Elijah in that realm. And see what He does.

My realms of influence are fashion and home. I’ve loved both since childhood. But I needed to do other things first to prepare me for the task He’s asked of me. Every experience played a part. If you review your history you’ll see the same.

I started connecting the dots and they led me to the beginning. The little girl who didn’t care for dolls but loved to dress them and furnish her dollhouse. Who’d later become a fashion designer in the making and lifestyle enthusiast. The teacher in childhood games who became a mentor and instructor. The library aficionado who became a writer. The performer who became influential; inspiring others and changing lives for the better.

I didn’t see that when I looked in the mirror. But it was already there. Your destiny awaits and the journey is marvelous. Enjoy every morsel.

Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

 

[sampa]

cooking a healthy cheeseburger casserole *drools*

I've never had a cheeseburger casserole. It sounds yummy-licious.

Cooking is also a passion and hobby of mine, so trying to get back into that since moving into an

I think that's a great goal! Myself I recently have been getting more and more into different cookbooks and taking the energy that I used before for marathon training and putting it into cooking, baking and nutrition.

I'm also going to school to learn to be a baker.

that's neat! What do you think you're leaning towards as far as your specialty? Or you're just exploring right now? I just recently watched some kind of show on something about Versailles France... And all these Great Cooks that were brought together for an event and recreating historic food/baking in a new way. I also was reading a book on how to use flowers on cakes and cookies, and I will be making lavender cookies and a couple weeks for my coworkers. I'm also growing different kinds of edible flowers that I can use later.

had culinary training years ago after a lengthy period spent in cooking forums (hobbyist and professional), food blogs (the original julie from the julie & julia film), monthly challenges

I didn't know that about you @bella. Fascinating.

became a Christian recently, I thought they were old fashioned things. Now my perspective is totally different and I can see

That is interesting and precious.

I don't think it'll be an easy job, but it seems like a good way to support myself, my Church, and my future wife and kids.

I'm a wellness advocate at my workplace, it's a volunteer position. Although you well making that much money in the future, I think the benefit of what you do for a community and your church and living longer healthier lives is more than money can buy.

INTJ.

Fascinating. I have quite a few friends that are INTJ. So your insight is probably useful to me. I pray that you will be able to continue to move forward with the goals that you have and how you set them out in the chunks of time. And even if you don't accomplish all of it, I pray that some of that investment will come return to you that you can give those things back to others.

 

[Mr. Bultitude]

What do you think you're leaning towards as far as your specialty? Or you're just exploring right now?

I'm just exploring. Honestly, it just feels like the right choice for me to make. I'm not young anymore and I want to start acting like an adult. So that means a career, but I don't want to work with computers.

 

[sampa]

I'm just exploring. Honestly, it just feels like the right choice for me to make. I'm not young anymore and I want to start acting like an adult. So that means a career, but I don't want to work with computers.

Well enjoy as explore

 

[linux.poet]

Fascinating. I have quite a few friends that are INTJ. So your insight is probably useful to me. I pray that you will be able to continue to move forward with the goals that you have and how you set them out in the chunks of time. And even if you don't accomplish all of it, I pray that some of that investment will come return to you that you can give those things back to others.

I pray that my insight is indeed useful to you as you interact with these friends. The key is to be willing to listen to their insight (if they have any), do work, and keep emotional pressure on them low.

The knowledge you gain from the relationships will be worth what you invest, generally speaking. It does depend on the person, but you should look for insight as a return rather than, say, 100 pages of the Bible read before Tuesday. I hate those types of assignments and fail them regularly. Mentally we go on our own intuitive feeling journeys when we are alone and that is really incompatible with concrete assignment metrics. But we do learn from said journeys - at least I do.

 

[Vinter]

.

 

[bèlla]

[COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 255)]I have never tested my limits or gone beyond. I have been mozying through most of my life.[/COLOR][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000]That was true before our acquaintance. But things are changing. You need to affirm those changes in your conversation. The person your were in the past isn’t the man you’re becoming. And that’s what matters most.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000]Six months remain in the year. Choose one challenge for the month. It needn’t be grand. Just an area of stretching. Document your results at the end of the month. Note the starting point. Do this for the rest of the year. That’s 6 more reasons to celebrate. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=#0000ff][quote]Then it became a burden because I was still very attracted to her. I haven't seen her in almost 3 weeks and I still want to see her and find out who is she and why she had and still have this impact on me. I have not entirely let her go.[/quote][/COLOR]
[COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 255)][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]You’ve spent a lot of time nurturing the attraction. It won’t go away overnight. Because she fills the void. Investing in her silenced the loneliness for a time. But you’ve experienced the other side of it. No one can fill a hole save God. When we put people in that place we exacerbate the longing. The remedy is release.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 255)]
[quote]I am far better now than in the past, but still. I still pray for her salvation. I still tell God what goes through my mind when it comes to her. It makes a difference. I am much more at peace. I am putting words on fears, emotions, my inner thoughts. I don't have to fret. God got this.[/quote]
[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]Praying on her behalf redirects your thoughts and turns the lemons into lemonade for His glory. You’ll experience attacks in this area until you demonstrate you’re unshakeable. As we’ve previously discussed that’s something you can thwart. But you have to go beyond the physical to do so.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#0000ff][quote]My mom talks about this alot, but I don't know what I can do. She sound like a broken record. My mom wants me to move, buy a house that's big enough and she can move in.[/quote][/COLOR][quote][/quote]

[COLOR=#000000]Be mindful of the promises you make in light of your desires. Marriage is a new beginning with its own responsibilities and demands. Moving her in requires you to find someone willing to share their home. That’s easier said than done.

There’s one lady of the house and that’s your wife. If you have difficulty telling her no, standing up to her or reigning her in when required you have no business moving her in. Because your spouse won’t have that problem.

You have to consider the ramifications of your choices. Right now you’re not in a position to do what she wants nor should you undertake it unless the desire exists outside that scenario. You have to want the same for yourself.

I think its important to be supportive and offer her a shoulder and prayer. But you can’t be her savior. If she doesn’t know the Lord start praying for her salvation and the His hand in her environment. You can post a prayer request on her behalf so others can support your efforts.

If you decide to buy a home with room for an annex I recommend that approach. A place with outbuildings would be ideal. Alternatives exist that would accommodate her needs while providing the privacy a marriage requires.

Encourage her independence. Don’t support overspending. She has to be responsible. You’re overcoming negative coping mechanisms. Don’t ignore the same in her. You’re adding fuel to the fire. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 255)][quote]I was a big GI Joe fan as a kid, but I never became a soldier or even the kinda guy that takes things in stride and head on. If I was that kind of guy I would not have wind up with a meltdown and mentally ill.[/quote]
[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]Do you attribute your illness to a lack of coping skills or is it more involved?[/COLOR]

[quote][COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 255)]Comics and animated shows was my thing, it has been my entire life. I liked to draw, but I never became any good at it, not so good I could become an artist, comic book artist, or animator. I liked to makes things out of clay as a kid, I was very creative, but I did not become a sculptor either.[/COLOR][/quote]
[COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 255)][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]We enjoy many things but rarely pursue them professionally. I had culinary training but I’d never work in a restaurant or start one either. It isn’t my forte. I could see myself launching a cooking show or buying a small winery. But that’s all.

When the Lord called me to fashion I couldn’t sketch or sew. But I had an eye. I could look at a garment and tell what’s amiss during construction. I had an innate understanding of drape, symmetry, and fit. I wasn’t afraid to try new things or a perfectionist. I expected mistakes. That’s why I excelled in my classes. What I gained the most was confidence. Proficiency would come with time.

Maybe the problem wasn’t whether you’re good or bad. It was your expectations. You have to nurture your artist and allow his voice to develop unencumbered. You’ll be wobbly in the beginning but the passion should spur you on. There’s always room for improvement but you can’t grow without effort. Perhaps a return is in order.

It took a long time for me to embrace the designer label. I kept focusing on the things I didn’t know or hadn’t experienced. But the evidence was all around me. It was in my closet, home, organization, photos and even my avatars. But I still held back.

I shared some snapshots from my pantry and related projects around the house and the feedback was positive. They marveled at the aesthetic and wanted me to do the same for them. But that’s not my thing. I’ll tell you how to beautify your space and sell you items to do so but you can’t hire me. That’s a service I reserve for my spouse and loved ones.

So while its possible to earn a living doing what you enjoy there’s still parameters which represent your likes, skills and the market. That in itself is a talent. Some people are really good with developing business ideas because they’re builders. While I am I don’t have a pressing desire to do so professionally.

I recommend prayer and fasting regarding your purpose and the ways you can serve the kingdom. We explored some options in the past but the path must be blessed by Him. You have a few things to go on in light of your interests and circumstances.

Entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone. You need to be disciplined. Persistence is the difference between success and remaining at the starting point. Some people counter their deficiencies through partnership. They find a business companion who possesses the strengths they lack or opt for a franchise. Others prefer the owner/founder route.

There’s many ways to broach it but doing is a must. You have to bring the ideas to life. Most people never start. It lives in their head. Don’t do the same.

This is another area where introspection provides important clues for mate selection if you’re inclined. It was part of my selection process. :-)[/COLOR]

 

[linux.poet]

@Vinter

Hmm. What I say may not help you, I don't think I'm at that point where I can say anything much. What I do know is that if your mother is using her money for smoking, you giving her money for that is enabling her bad behavior. You need to sit down with her and explain that you're not going to give her money for that anymore. The money you're giving to her is holding you back financially as well, and soon you will need that money for your marriage, if you are on the verge of having one.

I would suggest taking account of the money that you give your mom for this negative habit and put it in a savings account, preferably a high-yield one, in order to get your mother a better apartment or even a house. Your mother sounds like a financial abuser of a mild sort, so she will likely push back and beg. Putting that money away where she can't get to it is the first step in taking control.

I have never tested my limits or gone beyond. I have been mozying through most of my life.

If I do have a talent I can make money of, I have no idea what to look for.

What is the point of financial success if your mother takes all of your money and uses it to feed her prison and destructive habits? Both of these statements seem to reflect this sense of helplessness, and it is helplessness that I know all too well. Why should I earn money when my abusive parent will take it all?

Hear this word, you cows of Bashan who are on the mountain of Samaria,
Who exploit the poor, who oppress the needy,
And say to their husbands, “Bring now, that we may drink!”
2 The Lord God has sworn by His holiness,
“For behold, the days are coming upon you
When they will take you away with meat hooks,
And the last of you with fish hooks.
3 You will go out through holes in the walls,
One in front of the other,
And you will be hurled to Harmon,” declares the Lord.

Are you not the poor in this instance? You talk about what you cannot afford. It seems you were raised by an oppressive mother, and then you go chasing unbeliever women who hurt you. That is not the way. The Lord does not approve of such women.

I wish I could say that I am better. When I was younger, I tested my limits and I fell to the floor. Sitting here in this chair, I have more methods to earn money than most people will know in their entire lives. Web design is marketing, and there are so many ways to earn money with it - jobs, online courses, blogs, affiliate marketing, remote work, physical products, digital products. I feel like I am the opposite of you. I spent 10 years in college and I know where all of my talents are. I pushed and I pushed. But nothing came of it all. After all of this, I'm not aggressively filling out job applications or making websites right now. Instead I am sitting on the floor of my room, drawing things and making music, letting more of my pain un-knot itself. I've learned that I need to build my career on kindness and thoughtfulness towards myself and others, not by trying to force myself into a box or scare myself straight toward cash. I need to use my emotional capacity rather than cutting it off.

What I found from all of the pushing was that I was an emotional cripple, when I badly needed to be someone who wasn't. I pushed my limits, and found that I was weak. I had to rebuild myself and raise the limit. Right now your limits are defined, it seems, by the box your mother has placed you in. As you push back against this box, your capacity will increase.

But right now, it seems, that your kindness and thoughtfulness is being exploited, so you need to recognize that and withdraw it from those who have been hurting you. Not to hurt back, but to protect yourself. A wounded soldier isn't a very good fighter, and if you keep allowing people to hurt you your effectiveness for Christ will diminish. You need the opposite approach to the one that I have been using.

6 The hard-working farmer ought to be the first to receive his share of the crops. 7 Consider what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.

The relationships that you spiritually invest in should pay you dividends instead of dragging you down. Some relationship investments, like those in children and those wounded, take longer to see a return, but they should not drag you down spiritually, financially, and/or emotionally. When they do, it's time to have the hard confrontations and do the Matthew 18 work.

Some of us, like me, find it easy to stand up and fight those who want to hurt us. But that doesn't take us very far. Without God's help, we burn out. You need a Scriptural foundation for your actions. Stand on God's truth, and He will take you to a better place.

 

[Vinter]

.

 

[bèlla]

@Vinter

I think this says it all.