I've been in a bitterly angry mood, but God be praised no raging - this is a fast improvement over just a few months ago. The meds must be working good, despite my cycling depressive moods, and that is encouraging to see.
Do you guys get that - how in our depressive mood we cant see for looking for everything seems bleak with no light at the end of the tunnel
- while in reality good things are also taking place - but we are cut off from having those by our depressive reality? I'm sure you do - it is hard not to believe how you are feeling, isn't it?
I know this is why a lot of people find it hard to listen to a depressed person talking, it makes them depressed as well, so they rather stay away.:o
in my case this was also so, apart of two, one who lives far away and visits once a year, and one who stayed in contact with me, an Church Elder, and is my very best friend along with Perry, my schizophrenic brother, who also always retained contact.
They along with my closest family (six all in all) and in particular Yvonne my wife, have been my support network, the base from which I could fight my illness and begin the climb back up to level ground and hopefully a much more normal life in times to come.
The other day I met a fellow Church member, he turned to me and said almost blush fully, it may not have seemed like it but we do care, my wife and I have often prayed for you.
I know that is how it is people are scared to be faced by a psychotic person
I used to be angry about the fact that out of a huge congregation only two friends could be had but now I have come to accept it, forgiveness fares better than judgment I found.
At least I got Yvonne, she has been my very best friend, as well as my faithful wife, as well as a dear sister in Christ, I'm a blessed man to have been given her.
I seemed to have calmed down a bit.
