[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Tribulations[/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Before things got better I hit some cold realities. One was that the gift gave me strength but it did not free me from the devilish affliction. The second came when I missed an important dinner at the Shelter. Sunday dinners were a time for the operators of the shelter to come to know those who were benefitted by the provided shelter. I was out praying late that afternoon and missed the dinner. Under house rules I wasnt allowed back. I then was told of another shelter. The last known shelter in town. They too refused me because I was uninformed of their house rules and had not spent consecutive nights their at their shelter and they would not allow me in. I had spent only a few nights there in the week prior and they required me to continue if I wished to stay. Not knowing left with no known shelter and a dark, cold winter night ahead on the streets. Snow began to fall and my heart filled with a brief fear as I mouthed Where do I go from hear?. Then a comforting voice encouraged me in my heart, Be not afraid, I am with you., it was the Lord. I was then given knowledge of a warm place to go to eat a sub a friend bought me earlier that day. It was a warm laundry mat across town. As I had dinner with my last known friend, Jesus, He encouraged me to call my Mom. Knowing she had refused to take me in when I was in the shelter. I knew that it would have to be the mercy of God to have changed her mind. I made the call from a payphone just outside as the temperatures continued to drop. Once again a door was opened that no man could open on his own. Soon I was in the warm cab of my mothers pickup truck heading for a loving house.[/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I suffered onward for over a year with demonic oppression. Indescribable thoughts would enter my mind. Mental confusion and pain. I could hardly concentrate to eat a meal. Over time I began to have swirling sensations go through out my mind that made me lose my balance and to stagger. I had a tremor that began to manifest in my right arm. I also faced isolation from people, as I hid myself and often drove hours out of sight to go and pray when things got real bad. No one understood that it was a spiritual affliction. Many times I would be in the mountains and would be near a cliff overlooking a valley and a devilish voice would say Jump., Your God doesnt care for you, or he would help you, jump. I was so weak and discouraged at times that I would have to pray to God earnestly for the temptation to leave me. Thanks be to God that He was always faithful to meet me and rescue my fragile life. The source was evident to me but what was the cause for allowing this source to afflict my life. I did not know until I prayed for knowledge.[/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Answers[/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I fasted often while seeking God, these were the times I was away from home and without food, so I considered many of these times fasts. I honored them as such but many times I wanted a meal. One such time I was many miles out side of any town and off a mountain highway and my car had electrical problems that sent me seeking an available phone. I met a gentleman that had no phone but had knowledge. He came to my aid. Not only did he fix my ignition switch but came over with an arm load of groceries that he lovingly gave me. I was so thrilled because this was one of the times when I was without food and a fast was not what I needed at the time. I never went long with out the things I needed. In fact God's timing was always just right. The Lord began showing me on more than one occasion in the mountains while in prayer that when I had done drugs prior to my salvation in 99 I had opened a door to the demonic. Drugs are a chemical yet they also open your very spirit to a realm of deception. This was later confirmed to me in many ways. I now knew the cause for the affliction. I prayed and asked for a doctor that knew about my condition physically. I slowly learned that there is also a physical manifestation of the spiritual side of things. Though the doctor claimed my condition was purely a physical malady he confirmed the things the Lord showed me. The Lord had showed me that I had neurological damage and that these critical path ways had been altered by these drugs allowing for further spiritual activity in my weakened state. I was also shown by the Lord that I wasnt maintaining a correct level of neurons in my brain which was one of the causes for the confusion and mental weakness. As the Lord showed me these things I asked that He would confirm them to me. The doctor confirmed everything to me that the Lord had shown me about the physical. It was a fact that I had damaged my neurological pathways which transmit thought. But what many doctors fail to realize is that you cannot separate your spirit from your mental, emotional, and physical body and just treat the body. Jesus approached many with neurological problems and rebuked spirits within them and told them to come out of them. Another confirmation of the knowledge that I was given by God was found in the bible. In Revelations it says that in the end days people will not repent of their sorceries. The word sorceries in the Greek translation is the Greek word Pharmicon. This word is one root of the same word we get our modern term Pharmacy. The word Pharmicon is used in this text in a negative way as to mean a poisoner or one who makes a poison. This word equates street drugs to sorcery. Who could be the druggist or poisoner? I found all this interesting and kept it to my self. The only questions that I was left with is why would I suffer now after so many years of living a relatively peaceful life since my days of drug use? My next question was equally important what do I do next?[/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]After much prayer, like a heaven sent breeze God opened the Bible to and showed me the wisdom of Jesus.[/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Mat 12:43 When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. [/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Mat 12:44 Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. [/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Mat 12:45 Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first.
I now knew what had happened. But what would set me free from these evil spirits that came to me frequently in tormenting ways? I had started medication and it was helping me physically and was definitely the mercy of God but it did not end the spiritual affliction I faced. Again God communicated to me by having me open my Bible to the same place three days in a row. He had me read David in the Psalms who cried out to the Lord for deliverance from his enemies. His enemies were too strong for him and he could only find help in the Lord. I began to pray for deliverance from my enemies. Then the Lord spoke to me in the mountains one afternoon in prayer, He said as I traversed the rock pinnacles of the ridge, I will heal you among my people. I had mixed emotions and many things to face before I accepted this. [/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Deliverance[/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I was so tormented that I didnt want to be around people, I often left my mothers house for days at a time without food. I just couldnt handle this affliction any longer. I wanted God to heal me directly. I soon learned that God has a will and He always provides within his will. He wanted all the glory and I had to come to terms with that. In his eyes he would be more glorified, in my case, if I were healed among other people so that He would be seen as a mighty deliverer and that it would be known that He heals and delivers today. I tried many things before I finally found his outstretched hand of deliverance. Many people had been the hand of the Lord to me and I did not know it. The Bible teaches that as many as are born again and possess Christs Spirit within them that they are literally the body of Christ. Each person having a particular function and purpose within His body. All being directed by the head which is Jesus. All possessing unity in one body, by one Spirit, to the edification of one another in love. Many people had ministered to me in ways that were to the furtherance of my life. Finally I accepted Gods way of bringing healing to me. [/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A friend drove me to a nearby assembly of Christians. The message was packed full of interesting stories about people who had demonic problems, illnesses, and things that afflicted them that were delivered and set free by the power of God. I was amazed! Then this humble man said Is there any one of Gods children that need to be set free? I didnt hesitate. I moved myself to the front. Then it was like my faith dwindled. The preacher noticed it and said with a sigh Father give us your Grace for the work you have for us.. This man then grabbed me by the top of my head with his hand in a manner that resembled large forceps. He then began to shake. I didnt understand what was happening. Then suddenly I began to shake under an unseen power source. Then next thing I noticed was that this small man was lifting me off my feet on to my tippy toes by the power that was flowing through him. Then with one fell swoop, this man swung at my abdomen and a power above anything I ever experienced in my life knocked me off my feet and into the air. I fell in what felt like a pillow of feathers. The strange thing is - he never even touched me. This power was like lightning had struck the stage. Everyone was to there feet in amazement. Some even to see if I were still alive I am sure. It was the unseen hand of God that had touched me. Though the man was an instrument, God delivered me! The first thing I did was move my legs and I noticed that stiffness had left. I moved my arms freely- no tremors. Confusion was gone as well. I was free![/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The months to come were still difficult. The spiritual forces that I had been delivered from tried to come back again. They began speaking to me and soon confusion came with it but I refused to allow what God had done for me to be done in vain. The devil tried to reintroduce symptoms and make me think that what I had experience never happened. But I knew the freedom and fought hard with a new confidence to keep the victory. Once a battle is won you may have to defend the territory gained but there is assurance in Gods might. I am now healthy. I have no more tremors, difficulty walking, or any sign of struggle or confusion. I have a sound mind and a growing power that now aids me. Christ truly is a deliverer! His arm is not shortened nor is he a respecter of persons. Turn to Christ today and he will show you freedom and mysteries yet to discover.[/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I have learned that God is our refuge and strength in the time of need. He will never leave his own nor forsake them. He is a true and living God. A God who can be trusted and one that is present in the time of trouble. Though his timing may not be as we want, it is always beautiful. Though I lost everything dear to me, even my life as I knew it, I gained a new understanding of who my identity is in Christ. I have died with him, was buried with him, and now live in Him forever in Righteousness. I part with these word from Jesus:[/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Joh 8:31 Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed;
Joh 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. [/font]