Virginity

[lawtonfogle]

Purity rings = silliness.

My partner wants to make nice, tasteful silver rings with such engraved sentiments as "Sacred harlot" and "True Love Denies Nothing".

If someone wants to wait for marriage, yay. If not, yay. If they want to be celibate, yay. If they want to try to set a new world record for most sexual partners, yay. Whatever floats your boat.

And, to add to the tally...

...err, I lost count? I once did some estimation and by the crazy "if you have sex with someone you are joined in one flesh with them and all others they've slept with and that you ever sleep with" I've created some kind of 1000+ headed monster. On a scale of 1-10, my sex drive is approximately 15. And the total would be higher if I hadn't sworn off sex 'til I got to college...

...unless you count things that aren't technically sex...in which case it's far more interesting than you can imagine...

I'm going to call TIM on this.

(yes, I mean TMI, but I like making it a name instead)

 

[Beanieboy]

I'm watching a special on girls who promise to remain virgins until they are married. What strikes me so strange is the emphasis on girls to remain virgins, and how boys are not part of the organization. It seems that if girls are going to make such a promise, that they would want a man who does as well.

It seems an old fashioned concept, where men seem to believe they are entitled to have sex as much as they want, but women are seen as Madonna or harlot. However, this creates a problem for men - who are they going to have sex with, if they want their wife to be a virgin? How are they going to be sexually active, only to date the future wife, and be able to wait regarding sex? In fact, one of the girls said that she and her husband didn't even hold hands, didn't kiss. I don't know many men that would be okay with that.

I think it would be convenient for a guy who was gay, knowing that he didn't have to be physical, didn't have to have his body betray his words. It's very convenient for him, but unfortunate for the couple.

Even traditionally, the bride wears white. The groom wears black. If the white symbolizes purity, what does the black symbolize?

There are even stories of fathers hiring a prostitute for their son on his 16th birthday to help him lose his virginity, virginity being something that is a sign of shame for boys in most societies.

When I worked at the Guthrie Theatre, I watched the play, The Triumph of Love. The princess was told that she needed a husband. She said, "I want my husband to be as pure and ignorant of love and sex as I am. I want a virgin for a husband."
To no surprise, everyone laughed. What woman demands such a thing? But sometimes, men demand that of women. They may even demand loyalty in marriage that they do not give.

I also think that the Virginity Pledge, while I respect those who pledge it, seems to place far too much stress on sex, and not as much on love and trust, which is the basis of a good marriage. I also question the wisdom in only dating your Future And Only Husband/Wife. One of the reasons that it is good to date a few people is that you find out how to navigate a relationship, how to communicate, and even understanding what being in love is, what being in lust is, seeing the person inside the shell. I'm not even saying that you need to be physical, but you should know what's out there.

It also seems to be mostly important to the parents, even more than so than the daughters. It seems like a desperate attempt to hold on to their control of their girl by controlling her in adulthood. Some even said that their parents even became distant if they broke that pledge (even when the daughter was in her mid 20s.) The parents didn't say whether they waited, and if they didn't, I find it very hypocritical.

But it seems a very strange progression into marriage to go from dating no one, to one person, and not even kissing, hugging, even holding hands, and going into such physicalness of having sex. It would be interesting to see the marriages a month, 1, 3, and 5 years later, and see how they are doing.

There is also a disturbing, almost incestual feeling of a Father that is jealous of the Husband taking away "Daddy's Girl", or her saying that "her heart belongs to Daddy." Were a Mother to be jealous of a Wife, to say that she is taking away "Momma's Little Boy" or the boy saying that "His heart belongs to his Mom", you would think him a Momma's Boy, a Norman Bates.

 

[cantata]

"True Love Denies Nothing"

Can I put in an order for one of these?

(The temptation to suggest making one that says "True Love Fellates" is very strong, but mainly because it rhymes. )

 

[cantata]

Already been thought of.

"True Love Doesn't Wait"
"True Love Fellates"
"True Love Is Kinky"
"True Love Is Messy"
"True Love Does Anal"
"Hierodule"
"Qadesh"
"Qadesha" --both in Hebrew

...some are jokes. But if chaste people get rings to signal their chastity, the rest of us should have some kind of code.

*grin*

And here I was thinking I was being all original.

Anyway, virgins don't even *need* a signal. It's not like they're all going to get together and have some sort of virginal anti-orgy, is it? It's the vehement not-virgins who need to be able to identify one another!

 

[sidhe]

*grin*

And here I was thinking I was being all original.

Anyway, virgins don't even *need* a signal. It's not like they're all going to get together and have some sort of virginal anti-orgy, is it? It's the vehement not-virgins who need to be able to identify one another!

Nah, the virgins need a signal as to who has no expectations...or who will keep their mouth shut after 10 minutes of passion in a closet followed by two hours of guilt-ridden sobbing.

The vehement non-virgins, on the other hand, need something more subtle than a button (I, for one, once had a button on my clubbing hoodie that said, simply, "Easy and Fun"). Rings, I think, are the obvious choice. Check the hand of the person you're flirting with...

"Ah...so, you're unchaste?"
"Yes."
*checks your hand*
"And you as well?"
"Of course!"

...it'd just simplify things and be less gauche.

 

[cantata]

"Ah...so, you're unchaste?"
"Yes."
*checks your hand*
"And you as well?"
"Of course!"

Haha, wow. Sounds like the beginning of a beautiful friendship

 

[sidhe]

Haha, wow. Sounds like the beginning of a beautiful friendship

Or something. At least a fun conversation.