Virginity

[Washington]

Overrated or not?

 

[OphidiaPhile]

WAY overrated, and definitely something that needs to go away before marriage.

 

[stan1980]

Depends how highly one rates in the first place.

If anything, virginity was something I was more keen to lose than keep!

It didn't really mean that much to me, and isn't something real anyway, it's just a concept.

 

[PassionFruit]

Depends how highly one rates in the first place.

If anything, virginity was something I was more keen to lose than keep!

It didn't really mean that much to me, and isn't something real anyway, it's just a concept.

That's interesting, because before I left Christianity I tried my best to keep my virginity. At times virginity is overrated.

I guess it seems that double standard still exists, because when I was Christian, the girls seemed more under pressure to keep their virginity.

So that's one reason why I don't like the concept, it's because of that double standard. And because so much emphasis is placed on virginity it seems if you lose it before you're married you're called a [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth] or you're considered "damaged goods."

I do feel that it should be left up to the individual person if they want to be virgins or not, it shouldn't be socially imposed.

 

[Gishin]

All the fundies are going to talk about how sacred and pure it is, all the more liberal minded are going to say how it's not special and people should be sexually explorative.

 

[stan1980]

Yes, this thread is probably going to turn out quite predictable. Then again, you could say the same for the 20 threads a day on abortion and gay marriage.

Makes me wonder what I'm still doing here if truth be told!

 

[QuakerOats]

That's interesting, because before I left Christianity I tried my best to keep my virginity. At times virginity is overrated.

I guess it seems that double standard still exists, because when I was Christian, the girls seemed more under pressure to keep their virginity.

So that's one reason why I don't like the concept, it's because of that double standard. And because so much emphasis is placed on virginity it seems if you lose it before you're married you're called a [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth] or you're considered "damaged goods."

I do feel that it should be left up to the individual person if they want to be virgins or not, it shouldn't be socially imposed.

I agree. I think virginity, in the sense of remaining 'pure,' is overrated, however, I do see some legitimacy in it, such as at least waiting until you're in love, and/or you know the person well because there is, at least for some, an emotional aspect to sex, as well as the worry of pregnancy and stds, etc. I don't think virginity should be thought of as a bad thing, but I don't dig the whole 'legalistic' idea of it that many present.

 

[Verv]

Virginity in the 21st century is a rough concept -- most people are not prepared to get married until they are in their mid to late twenties when biologically we are essentially prepared in our teens.

Now that we get married so much later it sounds like an absurd concept to maintain virginity for that long.

All the fundies are going to talk about how sacred and pure it is, all the more liberal minded are going to say how it's not special and people should be sexually explorative.

I am not a fundie... Perhaps could you define what a "fundie" is to you?

 

[Yusuf Evans]

I think virginity is more frowned on today, then having sex before marriage. It's becoming more and more acceptable to be sexually active at an early age, and you're treated more like an outcast if you remain a virgin till your married. It's a concious choice people make, but I see a trend, especially amongst those liberal minded that say choice is everything, being more hostile towards those who maintain their virginity.

 

[Verv]

I think virginity is more frowned on today, then having sex before marriage. It's becoming more and more acceptable to be sexually active at an early age, and you're treated more like an outcast if you remain a virgin till your married. It's a concious choice people make, but I see a trend, especially amongst those liberal minded that say choice is everything, being more hostile towards those who maintain their virginity.

Yeah, now people are acting as if choosing to be a virgin is somehow depriving oneself fo something.

It also is a testament to the way that people regard such personal fulfillment as a new value for our society as opposed to personal discipline.

 

[Axioma]

All the fundies are going to talk about how sacred and pure it is, all the more liberal minded are going to say how it's not special and people should be sexually explorative.

Thanks for spoiling the thread!

 

[stan1980]

I think virginity is more frowned on today, then having sex before marriage. It's becoming more and more acceptable to be sexually active at an early age, and you're treated more like an outcast if you remain a virgin till your married. It's a concious choice people make, but I see a trend, especially amongst those liberal minded that say choice is everything, being more hostile towards those who maintain their virginity.

No, I think they're more hostile to the people who tell others that they must remain virgins, rather than bring hostile to those who actually choose to remain virgins.

 

[Yusuf Evans]

No, I think they're more hostile to the people who tell others that they must remain virgins, rather than bring hostile to those who actually choose to remain virgins.

I disagree. There is more encouragement to engage in sex before marriage. There is no more initiative to let kids know that it's okay to remain a virgin till they're married. If a parent teaches their kid they should remain a virigin, and you scold that parent for teaching their kid that, the kid is gonna see that being a virgin is on the outer fringes of society.

 

[stan1980]

I disagree. There is more encouragement to engage in sex before marriage. There is no more initiative to let kids know that it's okay to remain a virgin till they're married. If a parent teaches their kid they should remain a virigin, and you scold that parent for teaching their kid that, the kid is gonna see that being a virgin is on the outer fringes of society.

Most sensible people will say it's the individual's personal choice.

The less sensible (I feel) will either tell kids they must lose their virginity, or they must keep their virginity before marriage. I'd suggest the latter is more common, hence the backlash.

 

[cantata]

It's been the case for an awfully long time that men have been encouraged to lose their virginity ASAP while women have been encouraged to cling to theirs. Women's virginity is still the object of many men's sexual fantasies; you only have to take a look at the popularity of mainstream "barely legal" and "amateur/first-time" teen girl inappropriate contentography to realise that. The idea that a woman is "damaged goods" if her virginity is not intact is far more prevalent than any equivalent attitude towards men.

The emphasis on female virginity is yet another misogynistic throwback that we need to overcome if we're going to get anywhere. Virginity as an idea is quite superfluous to requirements. The notion that someone might be more or less valuable because they have never had sex is a highly damaging one, and we would do well to dispense with it, and quickly.

No man should have to prove his worth by having sex, and no woman should have to prove hers by resisting.

 

[WatersMoon110]

I think that virginity is as exactly as important as someone thinks it is. I see nothing wrong with choosing to remain virginal or choosing not to, so long as their is the choice.

Personally, I never valued virginity, but maybe that is just because I didn't have any choice about losing mine. My husband was a virgin before the night I met him, though. I don't think he had any beliefs about remaining virginal until marriage, but then he didn't tell me he had been a virgin until three months later. *grin*

 

[Polycarp_fan]

Overrated or not?

It is the ONLY way God can see the Church.

It's that important.

 

[Gremlins]

It's been the case for an awfully long time that men have been encouraged to lose their virginity ASAP while women have been encouraged to cling to theirs. Women's virginity is still the object of many men's sexual fantasies; you only have to take a look at the popularity of mainstream "barely legal" and "amateur/first-time" teen girl inappropriate contentography to realise that. The idea that a woman is "damaged goods" if her virginity is not intact is far more prevalent than any equivalent attitude towards men.

I disagree. Beyond 'you should loose your virginity to a virgin to save humiliating yourself', most people my age that I know seem OK about it.

 

[stan1980]

I disagree. Beyond 'you should loose your virginity to a virgin to save humiliating yourself', most people my age that I know seem OK about it.

Haha, good advice that, I still didn't avoid humiliating myself though! To be young again!

 

[cantata]

I disagree. Beyond 'you should loose your virginity to a virgin to save humiliating yourself', most people my age that I know seem OK about it.

My point was more about the gender difference in attitudes towards virginity than about the degree of the prevalence of such attitudes in specific locations.