Wondering which Province to live in? Here are some facts for each....lol
NEWFOUNDLAND
1. The poorest, stupidest, drunkest province in Confederation
2. If Quebec Seperates, you will float off to sea
3. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make
them kiss a dead cod
4. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related
products
5. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse
6. You understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics
7. The work day is about two hours long
8. You are credited with many great inventions, like the
solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for submarines
9. If someone asks if you're from Nova Scotia, you are allowed
to kick their but
10. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your
wedding day
PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still
got the biggest bridge
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour
3. You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea"
4. This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from
5. The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC TV shows
6. Tourists arrive, see the "Anne of Green Gables" house, then
promptly leave
7. You can drive across the the province in two minutes
8. It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates
9. You don't share a border with the Americans, or with anyone
for that matter
10. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off
at night
NOVA SCOTIA
1. The only place in North America to get bombed in the war ...
by a moron who set a munitions ship on fire
2. Your province is shaped like male genitalia
3. Everyone is a fiddle player
4. If someone asks if you're a Newfie, you are allowed to kick
their butt
5. The local hero is an insane, fiddle player
6. The province that produced Rita MacNeil, the world's largest
land mammal
7. You are the reason Anne Murray makes money
8. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to
wear a kilt
9. The economy is based on fish, lobster, and fiddle music
10. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is
considered Canada's most beautiful city
NEW BRUNSWICK
1. You are sandwiched between the French and drunken celtic
fiddlers
2. One way or another, the government gets 98 percent of your
income
3. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies
4. When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours
5. The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario
motorists to Boston
6. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
7. You have French people, but they don't want to kill you
8. Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse
9. Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen
10. You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no
television
QUEBEC
1. Everybody assumes you're a jerk
2. Racism is actually socially acceptable
3. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians
4. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbor
will move out next
5. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada
6. The FLQ
7. Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty playing French guys
8. You can avtually pronounce Poutine - unlike the rest of Canada
9. NON-smokers are the outcasts
10. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo's"
ONTARIO
1. You live in the center of the universe...so you think
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election
4. There's no such thing as an Ontario Seperatist
5. Your grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition
6. Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they mistakenly
believe it's a cool city
7. The only province with hard-core American-style crime
8. MuchMusic's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on national TV
for a dollar
9. Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the side of
your house
10. People think Toronto is a Province of it's own
MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront
property
2. Amusing town names like "Flin Flon" and "Winnipeg"
3. All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto
4. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal
government
5. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes
6. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter
7. You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work
8. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood
9. Because of your license plate, you are still "friendly" even
when you cut someone off
10. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by
SASKATEWAN
1. You never run out of wheat
2. Those cool Saskatewan Wheat Pool hats
3. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning
4. Your province is really easy to draw
5. You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a
standard
6. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house
7. YOUR Roughriders survived
8. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours
9. People will assume you live on a farm
10. Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense
ALBERTA
1. Big Rock
2. Preston Manning
3. Tax is 7 percent instead of approx. 200 percent
4. You can shop for clothing while riding a rollercoaster
5. Flames vs. Oilers
6. Stamps vs. Eskies
7. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of
8. Eventually, it will be your town's turn to ban VLT's
9. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia
groups
10. You have 2 of Canada's ully operational submarines....in a mall.
BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Weed
2. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges
3. The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder
4. The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar
5. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown
6. A university with a nude beach
7. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations
8. If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash
9. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on
10. Cannabis