Very depressed

[razzelflabben]

May you see the beginnings of healing, may you find strength to rise, may you have eyes to see the light at the end of the tunnel

 

[southernwonder]

Thank you for your prayers. I need them so much. Things have been so crazy this past week that I have not spent time with God. I know this is when I need to spend time with Him the most.

 

[Jeshu]

Thank you for your prayers. I need them so much. Things have been so crazy this past week that I have not spent time with God. I know this is when I need to spend time with Him the most.

Yes I know so well what you mean, often pain and misery separates us of our Good Life. That is why suffering peaks - for Satan is trying to get us away from God and into the pit instead.




Psalm 119

 

[Criada]

Continuing to pray, sweetie. God is spending time with you, even if you aren't aware of His presence all the time

 

[razzelflabben]

May you know the supernatural strength of our Lord as it pulsates through your being, spurring you to new life.

 

[Feileacan]

I completely sympathise with you, I'm battling depression too, but with the guidance of the Lord (and a bit of medication!) I am going through a very good patch. I'm not great at advice but, I just wanted to let you know that it will get better, and I know that it can be impossible to believe that, I've been there. But it's true, it really is. I will be praying for you, for God to guide you and help you.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

I am new to this forum and in need of Christian support/encouragement. I have suffered from depression since my teenage years (I am in my late 20s). I lost my job two years ago due to being unable to function. One year ago my husband told me he wanted a divorce because he no longer believed in God and could no long fight the homosexual feelings he had been having since a child. Our marriage was a loving one and I miss him so much. Please do not say anything negative about him. Our marriage was real and he married me believing God had healed him from his same sex attraction. He gave in to sin and I know that.

I am living with my parents now. I see a Christian therapist and a psychiatrist.

I feel like I am in hell. I am having such trouble letting go of my husband. When I met my husband, I felt safe and loved for the first time in my life. I never felt loved by my parents. It is so hard to let go of him. I am so afraid of being unloved and alone.

I am so alone right now. My already weak support system has fallen apart. I do not have friends that are supportive.

My future seems so bleak and dark. I know what the Bible says but I am still so afraid of my future.

In the evenings, I feel so much pain and hopelessness that I want to die. My therapist thinks spiritual attacks are occurring when I am at my weakest point in the evening.

I just need some support and encouragement. And prayer.

I know I am kinda late on this but welcome to CF!
Please know I am praying for you. We here don't have any right saying your husband is a bad one. So please know we are not saying that. People do fall back from God and those are the people we need to pray for.So please know I am praying for him and for you as well.

 

[southernwonder]

Krissycakes, thank you for what you said - that you would pray for me and my husband.


I feel so afraid. My future seems so dark and lonely. I am afraid that I will always battle with this depression and that it will keep me from my career.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

Krissycakes, thank you for what you said - that you would pray for me and my husband.


I feel so afraid. My future seems so dark and lonely. I am afraid that I will always battle with this depression and that it will keep me from my career.

Your welcome sweetie I'm here for you.

Praying for you! love ya!

 

[plumsink]

Praying for you SW...

 

[razzelflabben]

May you today, know enduring hope as it washes over you with the new life you have in Christ Jesus our Lord

 

[JesusSaved]

I am very sorry for the pain you are going through. But I believe that God will help direct you on the right path that leads to someone else that you may end up falling in love with.
Are you comfortable remaining friends with your ex husband? To be honest, I don't believe homosexuality is a sin, I believe it's something you are born with and can't change. I'm sure he still cares about you, just in a different way.
Please know that you are never alone, you always have God. And you can vent to us too! Remember that no matter how isolated you feel, God is right there beside you. And the computer isn't too far away either, so keep posting.
I have read so many posts on this site about young people dealing with depression and horrible circumstances. I felt saddened yet comforted, since I've always had this false ideal of 20 somethings all with great jobs, tons of friends, a great guy, partying on the weekends. I guess I've read too many cliche books. Anyway, since my life was nothing like this I felt I was abnormal. Now I know that there are many other young people going through painful times too. I guess the best thing to do is for us all to embrace one another and help eachother through it. If you need someone to talk to, pm me. I will pray for you.

 

[bethrow]

To be honest, I don't believe homosexuality is a sin, I believe it's something you are born with and can't change.

I don't want to derail this thread or get away from how SW feels, but
JesusSaved...be careful what you believe. Biblically God forbids homosexuality and nowhere does it say people are born with it. Satan is quick to deceive many into thinking people are born with it and this type of lifestyle is ok. It's a lie.
If you are a Christian and you believe God's word and you trust that what God says is truth then you might want to rethink your beliefs regarding homosexuality.
Read:
Leviticus: 18:22 and 20:13
Romans 1:27
1 Corinthians 6:9
The New International Version has footnotes to go into detail about each scripture.

Just thought I needed to point this out if you are a Christian.

 

[Super Kal]

things may be dark and bleak right now, but always know that you have a loving Father who is always next you, always watching over you, and helping you through the worst of this storm. I will pray for you in this

always remember you are now part of a large family here... we love one another, support one another, encourage one another, and help one another in prayer when we can. Thats what being in this family is all about :hug

Jesus will get you through this ... He is more than enough to get you through this suffering. remember, He promised you "never will I leave you or forsake you"

 

[razzelflabben]

May you feel the presence of those brothers and sisters lifting you before the throne of God. May you know the love of those that hold you in the presence of our Lord, even when you are too weak to stay there alone.

 

[razzelflabben]

May you know the joy of this breath, and the treasure of this moment

 

[Jeshu]

Krissycakes, thank you for what you said - that you would pray for me and my husband.


I feel so afraid. My future seems so dark and lonely. I am afraid that I will always battle with this depression and that it will keep me from my career.

This my witness of Him, He truly is greatest - hang onto Him

Psalm 34

Of David. When he pretended to be insane before Abimelech, who drove him away, and he left.

I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.

The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.
Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.

The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;
he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.
Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
The LORD redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

 

[razzelflabben]

May you have strength to get up today, may you know the joy of a friend who calls just to check in on you because they love you, for no other reason than that they love you.

 

[southernwonder]

I am having a difficult time. On top of the usual depression and grief over the divorce, I am dealing with the painful effects of my childhood. That pain has never gone away. My husband is the only person besides a therapist who knows how they hurt me. Letting go of him means that I have to face that alone and I am very scared.

All of the terrible things that my mother said to me have stuck and have been the source of my depression. She said things like, "You are worthless," "You are selfish," You may be smart but you won't be able to hold a regular job," and "You wont make it in the real world."

I believe all of the things she said about me, especially that I won't be able to make it in the real world (told me that in high school)...since I lost my training position after professional school.

I finally talked to my therapist today about how angry and hurt I was because of my childhood and told her some examples. She was apalled. She also said that talking to Janice about those traumatic things during medical school was not something she would have suggested. She said that most people who go through that kind of crap and open up to talk about it are unable to function in their life because of all the stress of it. She said people who work part time at Wal Mart have to stay home because they are almost comatose from the trauma of it all. She said the stress of professional school plus the therapy I did with that therapist made me so much worse. She said I was grieving my lost childhood and lack of not having loving parents during that time.

Just talking about it today made me so upset. I have felt exhausted and ill to my stomach since I got home. She said that I had "learned helplessness" - that during my childhood, I could never do the right thing, that it was always a double bind. For example, if I studied hard to make good grades, my mom would say I was lazy and didn't help her enough. They were never proud of me or came to my award ceremonies. If I would not have got good grades, perfect grades, they would have said I was not studying hard enough. I could never make them happy with me, no matter how hard I tried.

I just feel very afraid. I have pent up anger at my parents. I feel afraid. I feel afraid that I won't get better.

I feel numb. It is hard to be around them. I am not able to live anywhere else right now.

I need to know that I am not a failure or worthless or unable to make it. I am broken. I feel like I can't be put together again.

My therapist said I have to reject the lies my parents told me...It is hard. They are deeply rooted in my depression.

I could use some encouragement and prayer.

 

[Steffenfield]

Oh dear, I feel like such a coward now.

I totally need to write you back and I'm sorry for not doing so like I promised.

So much of what you say I can relate to, and, well, I will write you soon.

It's just hard for me to talk about, you know?

You have more courage than me sharing yourself like you do with us, that's for sure.

Good bless sister.