the "I told you so" comments referes to his comments about how i wouldnt make it on my own, no one else will put up with my crap, and all the stuff he has been talking about the biblical end, and the rapture coming soon. I have not spoken to him since friday afternoon and im confused about the feelings i am having. I know i still have the love for him in my heart, but my brain is telling me and reminding me of the reasons i left. the longer time has been going by and have calmed down, what he said keeps ringing in my ear "you are over reacting" "you are blowing this way out of perportion". i didnt think i was and i think i still feel that way. i guess what i am saying is that im scared that if i continue on this path of leaving i may regret it.
I haven't been through what you have, but I know it can wear down on you if your spouse goes through a season of being very critical. You can easily start to believe it-- at least some of it. It does help if you realize the other person has a problem and pray after the criticism asking for some clarity about what is true.
I know a couple where the man had a tendency to be hypercritical. They got some informal counseling from other Christians, just another married couple that cared about them and shared from their hearts. The last I heard, things had improved for them.
You may be write that your husband is too critical, verbally abusive, even. But he may be right. You could be blowing some things out of proportion, too. I don't think you should write him off, run off, and divorce. This man is your husband. Maybe, with the things are now, he may be interested in going for some kind of Christian marriage counseling. If not, maybe you could find a wise old godly couple to share your concerns with. If he had some kind of men's accountability prayer group that knew his wife considered him to be critical and verbally abusive, who prayed with him about it every week and helped him keep in mind that he needed to work on not being too critical, that would help.
If he goes to a counselor, hopefully they will be able to pick up on if there is something about him that is a bit off. An obsession with the end times isn't always a sign of mental illness, but it could be the result of one. Has he always acted like this throughout the time you knew him? You don't have to divorce him and remarry someone else if he has some problems like this. You can be faithful and wait it out through some difficult times if you have to. Some people have mental problems that will flare up for a while, and then go away. Btw, can you rule out the idea of his engaging in substance abuse?
If you go to church, maybe you can get your church involved in helping him out. Is there a pastor who could meet and pray with him? A men's group? What church resources are there for you to draw on during this time?
Simply pointing it out when he isn't yelling can help, too. If you say, the time is short and we need to be serving the Lord during this time, so we need to get our marriage right. I don't believe your being critical of.... is right because..... You went way too far criticizing me about.... because you said these things that weren't true.... Could you try to treat me with honor as the weaker vessel? Could you agree not to yell at me or the children? If he agrees that yelling at you is not loving, you can calmly and lovingly point it out to him when he starts to do it. "Honey, your raising your voice again."
If he realizes he needs to work on it, and you calmly point out when he slipped up or is slipping up, that may help him. Sometimes you may have to let him know afterward if he isn't in a mood to receive correction.
Go see if you can get some help. Lots of marriages have been restored after facing more difficult situations.
's to you! I know this is difficult as this time last year I was pregnant and in a similar situation. But the Lord will never leave nor forsake you. He will give you the strength and resolve to protect both you and your child.
for you!
