Valuing Ourselves

[strawberryhill]

I found the answer to "Satan is the accuser", written by Steve Wallace in Truth Magazine:

"The Accuser of Our Brethren"
Steve Wallace​

In Revelation 12:10 Satan is referred to as "the accuser of our brethren." The word "accuse" is defined, "(1) to charge with, or declare to have committed a crime, (2) to find at fault; to blame . . ." (Webster 14). Sometimes a person is justly accused. However, that is not what is spoken of here.
Do we have any examples of Satan accusing "our brethren before God" (Rev. 12:10)? Yes, we find such in Job 1:6-11; 2:1-6. Job was a good man! God himself testified to this fact. However, it did not matter to Satan. He accused Job anyway. Here we see a true picture of Satan as "the accuser of our brethren." Satan also tempts mankind. Hence, people can become "accusers of our brethren" and share in the devil's work.
We see people carrying out the work of the devil in both testaments. Job's brethren falsely accused him (4:7-9). The Pharisees falsely accused Jesus (Matt. 12:22-24). Among the sins characteristic of the "last days" is that some will be "false accusers" (2 Tim. 3:3). If people can become false accusers, then brethren can become false accusers. The danger that brethren might partake in the devil's work evidences the need for this study.

 

[Colleen1]

How I treasure your company, Colleen1 and M. Ruth. You speak from experience of being emotionally abused, and I respect that. I am reminding myself of the Beatitudes taken from the Bible site:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Salt and Light

13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

From Strawberryhill: I will see my broken heart, my fear, my hurt as "making me salty", as giving me a tender-heart, so I will NEVER, NEVER repeat what my sisters did to my 10-years old daughter. I feel more for the emotionally abused .... I cringe whenever I see someone else being put down, or controlled.

The longer I live, the more I realize it's more important to be a good person, than to win in any situation, and any argument. A good person stood silent when insulted like Jesus..... He might be considered a loser, but he maintains his goodness depite all the abuse heaped on him. Our rewards in heaven is more important than being a winner, or being the one "in control".

Colleen1 is right, the abusers are usually extremely intelligent, and has to win at any cost. It's ego at its utmost. What is evil? Lucifer arose from the ego, of wanting to be in control, of winning by stepping on others' feelings, of boosting one's ego by making others BAD. It's the same game of judge, accuse, and condemn that all controllers on earth practice. Is there a verse in the Bible that say Satan is the accuser? Thanks for the info.

Yes, those are good passages and challenging when one has been abused or is facing continual hurt from certain people. Yet, some how if we can realize that some people can be hurtful and if we can know their opinions don't make us who we are then it is easier to let things go.

 

[Moriah Ruth 777]

And sometimes to try and let things go can be hard at times. However I am learning. That is after I stick my foot in my mouth up to my kneecap.

Moriah Ruth

 

[Colleen1]

And sometimes to try and let things go can be hard at times. However I am learning. That is after I stick my foot in my mouth up to my kneecap.

Moriah Ruth

Yes, it's a struggle. In some cases it can be harder when we receive repeated hurt or things in life happen that remind us of the old hurt. Can be such a struggle.

 

[Colleen1]

Praying for you ladies.


​

 

[strawberryhill]

I appreciate what you wrote, Colleen1: "Yet, some how if we can realize that some people can be hurtful and if we can know their opinions don't make us who we are then it is easier to let things go." You are right that their OPINIONS DON'T MAKE US WHO WE ARE!

What Jesus Christ thinks about us is more important than what others think about us. It's wise to be bound to a good spirit that uplift us. Our family is bound to us in flesh, but NOT IN SPIRIT. Colleen1 is right about attaching ourselves to a good spirit, the Holy Spirit and the Love of Christ, rather than be in bondage to the destructive spirits of those in our own family.

 

[Colleen1]

I appreciate what you wrote, Colleen1: "Yet, some how if we can realize that some people can be hurtful and if we can know their opinions don't make us who we are then it is easier to let things go." You are right that their OPINIONS DON'T MAKE US WHO WE ARE!

What Jesus Christ thinks about us is more important than what others think about us. It's wise to be bound to a good spirit that uplift us. Our family is bound to us in flesh, but NOT IN SPIRIT. Colleen1 is right about attaching ourselves to a good spirit, the Holy Spirit and the Love of Christ, rather than be in bondage to the destructive spirits of those in our own family.

Yeah, the way I see it is that, these things may have happened to me and people may say things but it doesn't mean it's who I am or that they are right. There is more to my life and the things that happened don't need to define who I am. I still need to heal but that is normal for us all. There is more to me and my life that someone elses sin. It's theirs not mine. The shame belongs with them and the hurt it caused is something I need to deal with. I find it gets easier as I go through things and practice living healthy. I think it's a process and I have noticed things may be frustrating at times but then if I stick it out I see big leaps to health too.

 

[strawberryhill]

Hi Colleen1: I agree with you 100% that "The shame belongs to them". Take my 10-years old daughter. A few days ago I felt so rotten about the power, the yellings that my 8 older sisters heaped on me through e-mails recently, that I blew up at my kid for not eating her cereal. It was my fault, and I apologized to her. My kid was hurt, but the shame and the sin belongs to me. My little girl didn't have to pay for my sin, nor my sisters' sin, by being hurt.

I refuse to pay for their sins by being hurt. If someone falsely accuse me and step on me to win at any cost, I refuse to feed their ego by being hurt. They can give me poison, but I refuse to drink it. The poison only hurt you if you swallow it.

The rotten ways that the Pharisees treated Jesus Christ and making him BAD? He could had taken it internally, felt bad about himself, and get hurt many times than the physical sufferings on the cross. But it was their sins, not His. Christ didn't feel bad about Himself, for He knows that He is the Son of God and loved by his Father.

 

[Colleen1]

Hi Colleen1: I agree with you 100% that "The shame belongs to them". Take my 10-years old daughter. A few days ago I felt so rotten about the power, the yellings that my 8 older sisters heaped on me through e-mails recently, that I blew up at my kid for not eating her cereal. It was my fault, and I apologized to her. My kid was hurt, but the shame and the sin belongs to me. My little girl didn't have to pay for my sin, nor my sisters' sin, by being hurt.

I refuse to pay for their sins by being hurt. If someone falsely accuse me and step on me to win at any cost, I refuse to feed their ego by being hurt. They can give me poison, but I refuse to drink it. The poison only hurt you if you swallow it.

The rotten ways that the Pharisees treated Jesus Christ and making him BAD? He could had taken it internally, felt bad about himself, and get hurt many times than the physical sufferings on the cross. But it was their sins, not His. Christ didn't feel bad about Himself, for He knows that He is the Son of God and loved by his Father.

Yes, I agree...so true. I think of Joseph too. How others can mean it for their own selfish sin but our life can be so much more...God means things for good despite sin and peoples bad choices.

 

[Johnnz]

To want to be believed is very human. We all share that desire. It is an essential component of any real relationship. When an abused person is not believed that becomes another kind of abuse in itself - the person is again discredited, devalued, ignored even hurt.

In contrast acceptance and being believed can be so healing. Jesus offers both, although he longs for His people to show more of His life to hurt people too.

John
NZ

 

[Colleen1]

Yes, it's good to be validated.

 

[freezerman2000]

You're welcome. Yes, I think we are God's creation so I know, personally speaking, that I should be treating myself better. Many times it's easy to be concerned about others needs and taking care of even our basic needs can get neglected. I need to have a better balance with this in my life.

Dearheart, we are our most valuable asset,because we are God's most valuable asset.It is easy to forget that,and in the process, diminishing our self value yet,our value to God will NEVER diminish.

 

[Colleen1]

Dearheart, we are our most valuable asset,because we are God's most valuable asset.It is easy to forget that,and in the process, diminishing our self value yet,our value to God will NEVER diminish.

Yes, it's a reciprocal relationship. He wants relationship with us. He is a good Father. We have human nature so we as humans make bad decisions and people hurt us but God's love wouldn't really be love if it was forced on us. What I mean is that other people have freedom too so even if their decisions hurt others, I can still respect the fact that God's love is not forced.

 

[strawberryhill]

What John wrote is so true: "When an abused person is not believed that becomes another kind of abuse in itself - the person is again discredited, devalued, ignored even hurt." That's what happening to me right now. The more I get attacked by my 7 (the 8th sister is OK) older sisters, the more I defend myself, and the more they attack. So I give up, and don't bother reading their e-mails.

What cause this attack? I found the will that my Dad wrote before he died, giving all to me, my 8th sister, and his grandchild. My Mom agree with his will .... the jealousy is what causing the attack. Frankly I would rather have zero attacks, and zero money from the will. One can eat so many steaks before one puke, money doesn't bring happiness. I was much happier when I was dirt poor, and received zero attacks from big sisters. it's all about receiving love, rather than negativeness.

 

[Colleen1]

What John wrote is so true: "When an abused person is not believed that becomes another kind of abuse in itself - the person is again discredited, devalued, ignored even hurt." That's what happening to me right now. The more I get attacked by my 7 (the 8th sister is OK) older sisters, the more I defend myself, and the more they attack. So I give up, and don't bother reading their e-mails.

What cause this attack? I found the will that my Dad wrote before he died, giving all to me, my 8th sister, and his grandchild. My Mom agree with his will .... the jealousy is what causing the attack. Frankly I would rather have zero attacks, and zero money from the will. One can eat so many steaks before one puke, money doesn't bring happiness. I was much happier when I was dirt poor, and received zero attacks from big sisters. it's all about receiving love, rather than negativeness.

Yes, those situations can bring out some 'interesting' characteristics in people. Tough stuff.

 

[freezerman2000]

What John wrote is so true: "When an abused person is not believed that becomes another kind of abuse in itself - the person is again discredited, devalued, ignored even hurt." That's what happening to me right now. The more I get attacked by my 7 (the 8th sister is OK) older sisters, the more I defend myself, and the more they attack. So I give up, and don't bother reading their e-mails.

What cause this attack? I found the will that my Dad wrote before he died, giving all to me, my 8th sister, and his grandchild. My Mom agree with his will .... the jealousy is what causing the attack. Frankly I would rather have zero attacks, and zero money from the will. One can eat so many steaks before one puke, money doesn't bring happiness. I was much happier when I was dirt poor, and received zero attacks from big sisters. it's all about receiving love, rather than negativeness.

Did those "sisters" do something to get themselves written out of the will? If so, the fault is on them,and the attacks are unwarranted.
My advise?get another E-mail account,drop the old one and don't tell them your new addy.
When they try to attack you again and they get the message that the mail can't be delivered,maybe that will shut them up..
Speaking from experience, psychological abuse can be worse than the physical kind..the wounds from that are hard to heal...the psyche is a fragile thing.
Peace to you!

 

[strawberryhill]

Thank you, Freezerman, for your wise counsel. You are right that "Speaking from experience, psychological abuse can be worse than the physical kind..the wounds from that are hard to heal...the psyche is a fragile thing."

I was shaken with fear last night as I remember the psychological abuses in the past.
It's the negative emotions behind the abuse which cause more negative emotions in the receiver. Thanks, Colleen1, for mentioning the story of Joseph. Spring of 1999 was worse than this, that's when I first brought up Grandpa (I could not bear the pain and worries)... I got attacked by family. The pain of being attack was worse than the original worry itself.

There was no Christian forum to discuss abuses. Early 1999 I prayed hard to God as what to do with our IRA in mutual funds, after listening to Larry Burkett (Christian Financial counselor advising people to withdraw money and put in CD's, plus giving to charities.) August 1999 I had a dream about the stockmarket crash, symbolic as climbing up a mountain, it gets higher, and higher, and a giant polar bear came down to devour everyone. It was terrifying and involved EVERYONE, and not just me.

When one is totally broken, God still bless them. I had nothing back in 1999: no friends, my family against me, no job, hurting and lonely inside, the lowest point in my life .... but God blessed me with a nightmare to warn me of the stock market crash late in 1999.

Unfortunately with so much scolding regarding my childhood memories of grandpa, I removed myself from my 8 older sisters in 1999, for fear of more mocking, so I didn't tell anyone about my dream. My sisters lost tons of money from that crash. If such a dream happens again, I will post in Christian forums .... Larry Burkett saved lots of Christians from losing money in the stock market crash prior to 2000. I miss his gentle counsel in Focus in the Family radio show. Larry Burkett passed away many years ago.

 

[Colleen1]

Thank you, Freezerman, for your wise counsel. You are right that "Speaking from experience, psychological abuse can be worse than the physical kind..the wounds from that are hard to heal...the psyche is a fragile thing."

I was shaken with fear last night as I remember the psychological abuses in the past.
It's the negative emotions behind the abuse which cause more negative emotions in the receiver. Thanks, Colleen1, for mentioning the story of Joseph. Spring of 1999 was worse than this, that's when I first brought up Grandpa (I could not bear the pain and worries)... I got attacked by family. The pain of being attack was worse than the original worry itself.

There was no Christian forum to discuss abuses. Early 1999 I prayed hard to God as what to do with our IRA in mutual funds, after listening to Larry Burkett (Christian Financial counselor advising people to withdraw money and put in CD's, plus giving to charities.) August 1999 I had a dream about the stockmarket crash, symbolic as climbing up a mountain, it gets higher, and higher, and a giant polar bear came down to devour everyone. It was terrifying and involved EVERYONE, and not just me.

When one is totally broken, God still bless them. I had nothing back in 1999: no friends, my family against me, no job, hurting and lonely inside, the lowest point in my life .... but God blessed me with a nightmare to warn me of the stock market crash late in 1999.

Unfortunately with so much scolding regarding my childhood memories of grandpa, I removed myself from my 8 older sisters in 1999, for fear of more mocking, so I didn't tell anyone about my dream. My sisters lost tons of money from that crash. If such a dream happens again, I will post in Christian forums .... Larry Burkett saved lots of Christians from losing money in the stock market crash prior to 2000. I miss his gentle counsel in Focus in the Family radio show. Larry Burkett passed away many years ago.

 

[Colleen1]

Well, my family are up to their same old shenanigans...not surprising. I have my space from them and there are times when I can let things go. Then every so often their negative nonsense and manipulation and such seems to stick to me like glue. ....ick! Ironic how it seems I get so close to letting every little bit go...not meaning I contemplate having them in my life...way too unhealthy but moving on and being consistently happy despite it all. I shouldn't be letting this affect me but every time there is a new hurt...it hurts. Understandable but tiring.... I keep telling myself to lift my head high and rise above. This doesn't define who I am.

 

[Moriah Ruth 777]

Freezerman,

You stated, "Speaking from experience, psychological abuse can be worse than the physical kind..the wounds from that are hard to heal...the psyche is a fragile thing."

You are so right on this. It hits to the very core of the person, their spirit,
and their hearts. I struggle with this on a constant basis.

Moriah Ruth