- Apr 12, 2004
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Well, although some rocky points since that last argument I had with my mother, things have been going somewhat better lately. I decided I need to move back in with her in town so I am able to get a job (and, hopefully, soon get to go back to church) since I don't have a car. We're waiting for word on this one house, and we should know within the next few days if we are going to get it... her boyfriend is currently in Alaska working, so, until he comes back, I hope all things go well.
On another note, turns out my father was brought before the court on the 22 of September, and his parole is finally being enforced. He was added to the sex offenders database, and, although good because people need to know (to protect their children and stuff)... it's been really hard on me. I mean, I overheard my sister tell my mom this, and so they have no clue I know, but I went and checked it out to make sure... and they had his picture on there. And he looks like a monster. I mean, he looks like a criminal--it's not the same. When I was 11 he was a pretty good looking man. It wasn't uncommon for women in their 20s to hit on him--now, he just looks horrible. Maybe it's bad but I see satan in his eyes.. I see rage, and fury. And it scares the heck outta me. His address was posted on there too, and it's taking me great restraint to not use that... part of me wants to write him to ask why... why he did what he did. But I can't. And it's killing me. I mean, I am still sooo mad at him for all that he did--and didn't--do. And I want answers, but I can't contact him. The law, and my family, would kill me if I did. It's pretty difficult situation.
I'm still waiting for word from my guidance counselor on whether she'll be able to hook me up with a counselor, and she's trying, so I guess I'll see how that goes.
On a brighter note, I fasted the other day, for certain reasons, and I have felt so close to God lately.
Thanks again for all your support.
On another note, turns out my father was brought before the court on the 22 of September, and his parole is finally being enforced. He was added to the sex offenders database, and, although good because people need to know (to protect their children and stuff)... it's been really hard on me. I mean, I overheard my sister tell my mom this, and so they have no clue I know, but I went and checked it out to make sure... and they had his picture on there. And he looks like a monster. I mean, he looks like a criminal--it's not the same. When I was 11 he was a pretty good looking man. It wasn't uncommon for women in their 20s to hit on him--now, he just looks horrible. Maybe it's bad but I see satan in his eyes.. I see rage, and fury. And it scares the heck outta me. His address was posted on there too, and it's taking me great restraint to not use that... part of me wants to write him to ask why... why he did what he did. But I can't. And it's killing me. I mean, I am still sooo mad at him for all that he did--and didn't--do. And I want answers, but I can't contact him. The law, and my family, would kill me if I did. It's pretty difficult situation.
I'm still waiting for word from my guidance counselor on whether she'll be able to hook me up with a counselor, and she's trying, so I guess I'll see how that goes.
On a brighter note, I fasted the other day, for certain reasons, and I have felt so close to God lately.
Thanks again for all your support.
. It is terribly difficult to endure what you are enduring right now dear, but you are enduring it which is better than pretending that there is nothing there. Ignoring only drags things out and makes them worse, but enduring and overcoming helps to put things behind you. We must always engage life, no matter if it is good or bad, for this is the only way that we will ever learn the invaluable lessons that come along with lifes expieriences. Good luck, you are doing so well. Continue striving for God, He is striving for you.
