Unhappy Marriage

[Hannah66]

You cannot get remarried with somone just because your husband has abusive behavior. The only way remarriage is possible is by death, cheating on you, or he is an unbeliever and dont want nothing to do with you no more. You can separate but not get remarried. You are in a covenant with him. Pray on this and get legal help you dont need that.

Amen. Agree with this post.

 

[Jbob]

We must also repent of adultery to be forgiven.

Dave do you repent of every sin the moment you commit one? If not are you truly forgiven? So God turns his back on you every time you sin until you ask forgiveness? That is not Grace and freedom, that is prison and not biblical. Jesus also said if you look with lust you have committed adultry. He also said to gouge out your eye and cut off your hand if it causes you to sin. He sent the rich man away sad. The point is it is by God's unconditional grace and mercy that we are made one with God by Christ's death and our belief that he was raised from the dead that purifies us

 

[Dave L]

Dave do you repent of every sin the moment you commit one? If not are you truly forgiven? So God turns his back on you every time you sin until you ask forgiveness? That is not Grace and freedom, that is prison and not biblical. Jesus also said if you look with lust you have committed adultry. He also said to gouge out your eye and cut off your hand if it causes you to sin. He sent the rich man away sad. The point is it is by God's unconditional grace and mercy that we are made one with God by Christ's death and our belief that he was raised from the dead that purifies us

So keep robbing banks, God is patient?

 

[Cis.jd]

I honestly don't understand how people can think that abusing your wife isn't as bad as adultery. They are pretty much the same, the earlier is arguably worse.

 

[Dave L]

I honestly don't understand how people can think that abusing your wife isn't as bad as adultery. They are pretty much the same, the earlier is arguably worse.

Believers always fled violence in the NT. But they were still married for life.

 

[Jbob]

So keep robbing banks, God is patient?

So a person is supposed to stay in an abusive marriage? Is not the abusive spouse breaking their commitment to honor, charish and love? Why is all the pressure on the abused and not on the spouse who is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church? So the woman who is trying to protect herself and perhaps her children is the only ones sin were concerned about? Not the one who treats there spouse in that manner? If he is treating her that way is it a fair question to wonder if he is even saved? After all using your analogy he has been repeatedly robbing banks for 28 years and after the wife who has been broken by him she is supposed to stick it out and stay married?

 

[Cis.jd]

Believers always fled violence in the NT. But they were still married for life.

Can you give an example, and also detail the level of abuse?

 

[Dave L]

So a person is supposed to stay in an abusive marriage? Is not the abusive spouse breaking their commitment to honor, charish and love? Why is all the pressure on the abused and not on the spouse who is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church? So the woman who is trying to protect herself and perhaps her children is the only ones sin were concerned about? Not the one who treats there spouse in that manner? If he is treating her that way is it a fair question to wonder if he is even saved? After all using your analogy he has been repeatedly robbing banks for 28 years and after the wife who has been broken by him she is supposed to stick it out and stay married?

Believers always fled violence in the NT. But they were still married for life.

 

[Cis.jd]

So a person is supposed to stay in an abusive marriage? Is not the abusive spouse breaking their commitment to honor, charish and love? Why is all the pressure on the abused and not on the spouse who is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church? So the woman who is trying to protect herself and perhaps her children is the only ones sin were concerned about? Not the one who treats there spouse in that manner? If he is treating her that way is it a fair question to wonder if he is even saved? After all using your analogy he has been repeatedly robbing banks for 28 years and after the wife who has been broken by him she is supposed to stick it out and stay married?

This is the reason why my first advice to her is to go to a different forum/site for real life advice, getting that here is likely going to get a person killed.

 

[Dave L]

Can you give an example, and also detail the level of abuse?

Believers never used violence to defend themselves but left the area in Acts. The same would be true in an abusive marriage. But the marriage is for life.

 

[Cis.jd]

Believers never used violence to defend themselves but left the area in Acts. The same would be true in an abusive marriage. But the marriage is for life.

This is irrelevant to what I asked. I'm asking you for an example in scripture of an abused wife (with the details of how she was abused) remaining married with her abusive spouse. Saying what happened in acts is the same in an abusive marriage is absurd because those believers where never connected to their attackers/persecutors.

 

[Dave L]

This is irrelevant to what I asked. I'm asking you for an example in scripture of an abused wife (with the details of how she was abused) remaining married with her abusive spouse. Saying what happened in acts is the same in an abusive marriage is absurd because those believers where never connected to their attackers/persecutors.

Acts provides the answer as I stated.

 

[Cis.jd]

Acts provides the answer as I stated.

no it doesn't. You have to reference a female believer who was seriously abused by her husband and stayed married to him. Your views are going to remain wrong and absurd until you do so.

You are just connecting the persecutions done to the christians in acts and connecting it with abuse in marriage, and that is silly.

 

[Dave L]

no it doesn't. You have to reference a female believer who was seriously abused by her husband and stayed married to him. Your views are going to remain wrong and absurd until you do so.

You are just connecting the persecutions done to the christians in acts and connecting it with abuse in marriage, and that is silly.

It's the principle behind Christ's teaching you are arguing with. See ya...

 

[Jbob]

This is the reason why my first advice to her is to go to a different forum/site for real life advice, getting that here is likely going to get a person killed.

Sadly I agree with you. It is amazing how much Christian's act like pharasees to one another. That is not Christian joy that scripture refers to. She is an injured soul who needs compassion not a self-righteous person telling her how she hates God. These same people would have no problem using violence in self defense (which I agree) but condem her or anyone else trying to protect themselves by leaving the situation.

 

[Salvadore]

First. I highly advice you to ask in a different forum/site for real life problems.

Next, You have to seek the law on this. Finally, you are an adult. Maybe God never wanted you to marry your ex, maybe he sent you signs not to marry him before but you where blinded by your own emotions towards your ex-husband during that time.

You see, marriage isn't just about going to an alter and having a church leader announce you are married. Marriage is completely internal. If there is no love or any form of care, much more abuse, between spouses then it isn't a real marriage. How can marriage be actual marriage if there is no love?


Probably. Probably not. If you are getting hurt, does it matter?

I did not realize this was not a forum/site for real life problems. I will look elsewhere.

 

[Jbob]

I did not realize this was not a forum/site for real life problems. I will look elsewhere.

I definitely recommend finding a loving grace filled church after you make some changes to protect yourself. Most importantly remember God loves you unconditionally. Also look for a celebrate recovery group in your area. It is a Christian recovery group where there is no shaming, but will help to restore your relationship with God, yourself and others. Many are praying for you

 

[Cis.jd]

It's the principle behind Christ's teaching you are arguing with. See ya...

You are falsely using Christ's name as a way to give credibility your invalid views. See ya

 

[Daniel Marsh]

The scripture talks more about remarriage and the adultery that occurs. Is adultery forgivable?

Yes

 

[Daniel Marsh]

I'm not condemning you, but I think the mindset there is if we remarry, we will be living in adultery, and that would be the problem, "practicing sin" as a lifestyle.

As I've mentioned before, I'm just not sure about this situation. Seems so harsh to not be able to remarry in an abusive situation, but at the same time, the bible "seems" to indicate that is how it is.

I would ask one to consider the fact Jesus did mention, in the days of Noah, in spite of the fact it was meant to be a one time forever marriage, still, a letter of divorce was all that was needed, and they were allowed that divorce and remarriage because of the hardness of their hearts. Do we not clearly have hardness of the hearts today? And if they were meant to be with one spouse all their lives but were not back then, did they not commit adultery then as well? Yet remarriage was allowed and they were not condemned to hell because of it.

Those are some of the reasons, something doesn't seem right about the general interpretation of all this.

Not everything Jesus taught was written down. So, we need to locate principles in scripture and use common sense.