- Mar 2, 2016
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There's too much focus on what the unforgivable sin might exactly be in general, IMO. There's all kinds of "ways" to fail to be saved, which would seem to me to be more important. In this case, I want to say that it can't be the way someone behaves. It has to be a heart condition. But since this is already off topic, so I'm going to leave it at that.
revrog252, from what you wrote I see nothing to indicate that you have rejected God. In fact, the fact that you are still struggling means you still respect God's will for you. What happens when we persist in sinning is what you first experienced: our perception of God convicting us gets weaker. This is a part of what is called the hardening of your heart. If you continue, your desire for Jesus to be your Lord will grow weaker. It is already weaker, because you have now experienced sinning and seen that no hammer from God has come crashing down on your life (although God's conviction can make you wish it would).
Salvation is not a free gift as some people like to say (it sure cost Jesus a lot). If Jesus isn't your Lord, he can't be your savior. (An aside: and he can't be someone's Lord if they don't genuinely believe in him.) For Jesus to be your Lord, you need to turn over your life to him, not only by deciding to (which by itself is called "dead faith" in James 2) but also in action from your heart (because it provides you with the conviction that you have saving faith, which is a necessary part of completed genuine faith). Another way to say this is that you need to accept God as GOD (that he is your creator has the right to tell you what to do/not do and the right to judge you).
Sin is never OK with God—for one thing, it hurts you. Even though we are forgiven, the wages of sin is still death (Romans 6:23)—that is, the effects of your sin still come upon you even though you are forgiven (Romans 5:12-14). You will suffer loss, even though you are forgiven.
Most of us have struggled with trying to reconcile the various apparent contradictions involved with being commanded not to sin, but still end up sinning (which is a failure to accept Jesus fully as our Lord from our hearts) and the fact Jesus is the one who paid for your sins, not your successful obedience. This is a good struggle. In fact it is the "good fight." It is the opportunity to lay up treasure in heaven, or put another way, earn blessing from God. He has obligated himself to owe you blessing if you are obedient. Furthermore he has promised these blessing will far surpass what it cost you. He even promises blessings in this life!
But there is only one way to resolve this struggle so we have genuine, complete peace in our hearts. God designed us for a world free of sin. We do not have the capability to withstand sin. All the options we have other than being in unity with God in our heart and actions hurt us/are sinful. The Holy Spirit, through Paul, even commanded that because sexual sin is so difficult, if not impossible, to resist, that we should flee from it.
Life is hard and frequently painful, and the connection you have to your girlfriend makes all of life easier. But if you want what is best for you and your girlfriend for the long-term (whether you stay together or not) you will stop sinning. The Lord will help you with this. It may even be impossible without his help. I find my ability to resist sin is much easier if I spend an hour in prayer each day.
I have prayed that the Lord will grant you a great blessing in this life if you are able to stop this sin. I don't know how he will answer this prayer, but regardless, the Lord has huge blessings for anyone who can overcome this sort of incredibly difficult thing because you are choosing him and his ways. You can start by having fasts from sex for the Lord, if that is easier than going cold turkey. I think the Lord will be quite impressed if you can do this. Unfortunately, to stop completely, you'll probably need to stop affectionate behavior before it escalates, and perhaps even stop it in your mind before that.
Know that one of the true and deep rewards from abstinence at this point would be that the love you have between you and your girlfriend will deepen significantly the longer you can maintain sexual purity. This will deepen your connection with each other and build for you a deeper, unshakeable kind of joy. It is a war that you and she can fight together. God can even turn sin into blessing for you. He is pretty awesome.
By the way the original post is also in the Christian Philosophy & Ethics forum, the Controversial Christian Theology forum, and who knows where else.
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