Unconditional Forgiveness?

[Jonaitis]

An article by Stephen Yuille on January 25, 2020

"Do I need to forgive someone who's harmed me but never asked for forgiveness?"
​

A concept known as “therapeutic forgiveness” came into vogue in the 1980s. Simply put, it defines forgiveness as ceasing to feel anger or resentment toward a person who has wronged you. In so doing, it turns forgiveness into an emotion. This definition is now accepted orthodoxy within the church. But this concept of forgiveness is actually foreign to Scripture. Biblical forgiveness isn’t an emotion, but a transaction. How does God forgive? There are two essential ingredients: justice and repentance. God forgives those who repent on the basis of His satisfied justice in Christ’s substitutionary sacrifice. As a result, they’re reconciled and restored to Him. But there’s no restoration without forgiveness, and there’s no forgiveness without repentance. All that to say: God’s forgiveness is conditional, not unconditional.

God calls us to forgive others as He has forgiven us. In other words, the same essential ingredients must be present when we forgive. How do we react to those who wrong us and victimize us? How do we counsel those who are victims of crime, abandonment, slander, betrayal, or abuse? We remain focused on the cross.

The cross enables us to escape the prison of the past. How? Christ now shapes our identity. We no longer define ourselves by how others have mistreated us. We define ourselves by what God says about us in Christ.

The cross moves us to squash hatred and bitterness. It enables us to mortify the desire for personal revenge. We don’t repay evil for evil (Rom. 12:17). The cross engenders meekness, enabling us to seek the good of others.

The cross compels us to offer conditional forgiveness. When we contemplate the cross, we’re overwhelmed by God’s love for us, and we’re compelled to extend compassion to others – even those who’ve hated and abused us. “Forgive one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:32). How does God forgive us? Where there’s repentance, there’s forgiveness. Where there’s forgiveness, there’s restoration. That’s a transaction. We offer this same conditional forgiveness to those who’ve wronged us. If they repent, we forgive them. And what if they refuse to repent? That brings us to the next point.

The cross strengthens us to wait for the Avenger. “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord’” (Rom. 12:19). Although it might seem that those who abuse and misuse others are escaping the consequences of their actions, Paul assures us that God is a glorious Avenger. In the case of those who refuse to repent, there’s no forgiveness – only the certain expectation of judgment.

Interestingly, this was Paul’s outlook. On one occasion, he writes, “Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds” (2 Tim. 4:14). How did Alexander harm Paul? We don’t know the details, but we do know it involved “great harm.” Take note: Paul doesn’t offer Alexander unconditional forgiveness. Undoubtedly, Paul mortified his desire for personal revenge. Undoubtedly, he would have been kind to Alexander if given the opportunity. Undoubtedly, he would have forgiven Alexander if he had repented of his sin. But without repentance, true biblical forgiveness is impossible. And so, what comforts Paul in the face of Alexander’s obstinate sin? Here it is: Paul rests in the undeniable fact that God “will repay him according to his deeds.”

How do we reconcile this understanding of biblical forgiveness with Christ’s words in Luke 23:34? “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Note three details:

First, Christ has authority to forgive sins (Luke 5:20–24; 7:49), but He doesn’t forgive these men. Why doesn’t He offer them forgiveness at that very moment? Why doesn’t He turn to them, and say, “I offer you unconditional forgiveness for what you’re doing.”

Second, Christ does forgive one of the thieves on the cross: “Today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:43). Although the term isn’t used, forgiveness is clearly implied. Christ utters this declaration of forgiveness in response to the thief’s confession of sin. Interestingly, Christ doesn’t offer forgiveness to the other thief who ridicules Him. Why not?

Third, Christ asks His Father to forgive these men. I believe His request pertains to something that’s going to happen in the future. I believe the only conclusion we can make is that – at some point in their lives – these men repent of their sin, and God forgives them.

We see something similar in Acts 7:60. Stephen prays, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” Did Christ answer Stephen prayer? He did in at least one case – Saul/Paul.

 

[St_Worm2]

This is an extremely important topic (especially concerning the church's, and particularly its individual congregants', modern and extremely broad embrace of “therapeutic forgiveness” .. which is the world's concept of forgiveness, not ours).

Thanks for broaching it @Jonaitis

BTW, I agree with much of what is said in the article, though not with some of Dr. Yuille's conclusions. I look forward to the discussion

God bless you!!

--David

 

[SavedByGrace3]

I see forgiveness as much for the forgiver as the forgiven.
I hate having that on my heart and in my mind and memory. I am just glad to get rid of it.
Detach the emotion from the memory of the event. File the memory away in your memory history book. You may remember the event, but when you disconnect the emotion from it, it no longer hurts you. It is like reading a book about someone else. Another time, another person.

 

[BobRyan]

How does God forgive? There are two essential ingredients: justice and repentance. God forgives those who repent on the basis of His satisfied justice in Christ’s substitutionary sacrifice. As a result, they’re reconciled and restored to Him. But there’s no restoration without forgiveness, and there’s no forgiveness without repentance. All that to say: God’s forgiveness is conditional, not unconditional.

God calls us to forgive others as He has forgiven us. In other words, the same essential ingredients must be present when we forgive. How do we react to those who wrong us and victimize us? How do we counsel those who are victims of crime, abandonment, slander, betrayal, or abuse? We remain focused on the cross.

The cross enables us to escape the prison of the past. How? Christ now shapes our identity. We no longer define ourselves by how others have mistreated us. We define ourselves by what God says about us in Christ.

The cross moves us to squash hatred and bitterness. It enables us to mortify the desire for personal revenge. We don’t repay evil for evil (Rom. 12:17). The cross engenders meekness, enabling us to seek the good of others.

Both Stephen and Christ pray that God will forgive those who are abusing them long before the abusers ask for forgiveness - and in fact most of those abusers probably never asked for forgiveness. Stephen did not hang around long enough to find out if even one of his abusers would ever come to him and ask for forgiveness or repent.

What is more - we are not God ... so
1. We have no clue at all as to whether the person is truly repentant. God knows - we don't
2. The text does not say "forgive them so long as you can divine if they are truly repentant"
3. The text says "forgive them 70 x 7 for the same thing they did wrong to you" in Matt 18...so that is a "lot of waiting to see if they are truly repentant".
4. Since we are not God we also have no "lake of fire" to send someone to if they fail to ask us to forgive them. So there is no consequence to them when we don't forgive - the only "consequence" is to us according to Christ in Matt 18.. it is the consequence of having our own forgiveness revoked.
5. We also do not have the option with others - should they ask forgiveness of us - and get it -- we cannot then "revoke that forgiveness" as God does in Matt 18 -- if they fail to forgive others.

I see forgiveness as much for the forgiver as the forgiven. .

That is exactly right!

 

[Xeno.of.athens]

BTW, I agree with much of what is said in the article, though not with some of Dr. Yuille's conclusions. I look forward to the discussion

Our Lord, Jesus Christ, told some parables about forgiveness that imply that an individual ought to forgive others in order to receive forgiveness from God. For example,

Matthew 18:21-35 Then came Peter unto him and said: Lord, how often shall my brother offend against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 22 Jesus saith to him: I say not to thee, till seven times; but till seventy times seven times. 23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened to a king, who would take an account of his servants. 24 And when he had begun to take the account, one as brought to him, that owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And as he had not wherewith to pay it, his lord commanded that he should be sold, and his wife and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 But that servant falling down, besought him, saying: Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 27 And the lord of that servant being moved with pity, let him go and forgave him the debt. 28 But when that servant was gone out, he found one of his fellow-servants that owed him an hundred pence: and laying hold of him, he throttled him, saying: Pay what thou owest. 29 And his fellow-servant falling down, besought him, saying: Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he paid the debt. 31 Now his fellow servants seeing what was done, were very much grieved, and they came, and told their lord all that was done. 32 Then his lord called him: and said to him: Thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all the debt, because thou besoughtest me: 33 Shouldst not thou then have had compassion also on thy fellow servant, even as I had compassion on thee? 34 And his lord being angry, delivered him to the torturers until he paid all the debt. 35 So also shall my heavenly Father do to you, if you forgive not every one his brother from your hearts.​

And the Lord's prayer includes the petition

forgive us our trespasses as we forgive the trespasses of others.​

So, the scriptures really do give good reasons to regard forgiving others as a part of living a life of saving faith.

 

[Tolworth John]

How does God forgive? There are two essential ingredients: justice and repentance. God forgives those who repent on the basis of His satisfied justice in Christ’s substitutionary sacrifice. As a result, they’re reconciled and restored to Him. But there’s no restoration without forgiveness, and there’s no forgiveness without repentance. All that to say: God’s forgiveness is conditional, not unconditional.

The whole bible teaches this.
Look at the sacrificial system.
A worshiper making a sacrifice for sin has to acknowledge they are a sinner by making the sacrifice and by laying their hand on its head..

It is seen in Gods dealing with a rebelious Israel as they turn from him, are punished untill they turn back to him crying for mercy.


One important point not covered is the need for the offended Christian having passed their feelings about a situation over to God is there need to pray regularly and intelligently for the good of the offender.
It is this requirement that cause many to prefer to manufacter feelings of forgiveness.

 

[Tolworth John]

So, the scriptures really do give good reasons to regard forgiving others as a part of living a life of saving faith.

The parable is a perfect example of the importance of repentance.
And yes we must be willing to forgive an endless number of times, if the offender repents.

 

[St_Worm2]

"Do I need to forgive someone who's harmed me but never asked for forgiveness?"​

Hello again Jonaitis, I think that a far better question might be, "SHOULD I forgive someone who's harmed me but has never asked me for forgiveness? And also, is this what God wants me to do?"​

I think that the answer to both of those questions is "no". The "forgiveness" that your article speaks against, "therapeutic forgiveness", is the kind or style of forgiveness that is promoted by the world, not by God. It's self-directed, silent forgiveness that is concerned with the victim's wellbeing alone (because its purpose is to allow them to 'feel better about themselves', even noble, as the better man or woman) w/o any regard for the wellbeing of the person who has sinned against them.*

*(a sinner needs to both repent and to be forgiven, both by the party that they injured, AND by God, so they need to be made aware of that fact and, thereby, given the opportunity to do so). ​

Biblical "forgiveness", the kind that God calls us to, isn't very popular, because it's a pretty messy business right out of the starting gate (as it insists that the ~injured~ party is the one who needs to initiate it, by making absolutely sure that the one who has sinned against them KNOWS that he/she has done so, as well how their words/actions have harmed them).

Here are the Biblical commands from the Lord Jesus.

Luke 17
3 “If your brother sins, ~rebuke~ him; and ~if~ he repents, forgive him.
4 And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”
​

The fact is, there are many who do not realize that something that they said or did to another person ended up hurting them. This is one of the big reasons that Jesus instructs the injured party to go first, even though it can be a VERY difficult thing for such a person (who is still hurting) to do.

Another (kind of insidious) thing that "therapeutic forgiveness" allows us to do is to continue to hate our neighbor (passively) while convincing us that we are doing something good, that we are loving them instead (when what we are actually doing is transgressing the Royal Law, "love your neighbor as yourself").

A concept known as “therapeutic forgiveness” came into vogue in the 1980s. Simply put, it defines forgiveness as ceasing to feel anger or resentment toward a person who has wronged you. In so doing, it turns forgiveness into an emotion. This definition is now accepted orthodoxy within the church. But this concept of forgiveness is actually foreign to Scripture.

I agree that the world's concept of "forgiveness" is foreign to Scripture, but I don't believe that the world's "therapeutic forgiveness" has become accepted orthodoxy within the church. Rather, it's the way that many (most?) of our individual congregants have come to view "forgiveness", which seems odd, given that it opposes what the Bible, and (therefore) the church, teaches.

How could this happen? IOW, if the church continues to teach true, Biblical forgiveness from our pulpits and elsewhere (as I believe that they still do, generally speaking anyway), how have the (seeming) majority of believers within the church today ended up holding to the world's, instead of Scripture's, concept of "forgiveness"

There is more to talk about (including what the Lord Jesus and Stephen did when as they were dying), but this post is way too long already, so I'll stop.

God bless you!!

--David

 

[fhansen]

An article by Stephen Yuille on January 25, 2020

"Do I need to forgive someone who's harmed me but never asked for forgiveness?"
​

A concept known as “therapeutic forgiveness” came into vogue in the 1980s. Simply put, it defines forgiveness as ceasing to feel anger or resentment toward a person who has wronged you. In so doing, it turns forgiveness into an emotion. This definition is now accepted orthodoxy within the church. But this concept of forgiveness is actually foreign to Scripture. Biblical forgiveness isn’t an emotion, but a transaction. How does God forgive? There are two essential ingredients: justice and repentance. God forgives those who repent on the basis of His satisfied justice in Christ’s substitutionary sacrifice. As a result, they’re reconciled and restored to Him. But there’s no restoration without forgiveness, and there’s no forgiveness without repentance. All that to say: God’s forgiveness is conditional, not unconditional.

God calls us to forgive others as He has forgiven us. In other words, the same essential ingredients must be present when we forgive. How do we react to those who wrong us and victimize us? How do we counsel those who are victims of crime, abandonment, slander, betrayal, or abuse? We remain focused on the cross.

The cross enables us to escape the prison of the past. How? Christ now shapes our identity. We no longer define ourselves by how others have mistreated us. We define ourselves by what God says about us in Christ.

The cross moves us to squash hatred and bitterness. It enables us to mortify the desire for personal revenge. We don’t repay evil for evil (Rom. 12:17). The cross engenders meekness, enabling us to seek the good of others.

The cross compels us to offer conditional forgiveness. When we contemplate the cross, we’re overwhelmed by God’s love for us, and we’re compelled to extend compassion to others – even those who’ve hated and abused us. “Forgive one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:32). How does God forgive us? Where there’s repentance, there’s forgiveness. Where there’s forgiveness, there’s restoration. That’s a transaction. We offer this same conditional forgiveness to those who’ve wronged us. If they repent, we forgive them. And what if they refuse to repent? That brings us to the next point.

The cross strengthens us to wait for the Avenger. “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord’” (Rom. 12:19). Although it might seem that those who abuse and misuse others are escaping the consequences of their actions, Paul assures us that God is a glorious Avenger. In the case of those who refuse to repent, there’s no forgiveness – only the certain expectation of judgment.

Interestingly, this was Paul’s outlook. On one occasion, he writes, “Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds” (2 Tim. 4:14). How did Alexander harm Paul? We don’t know the details, but we do know it involved “great harm.” Take note: Paul doesn’t offer Alexander unconditional forgiveness. Undoubtedly, Paul mortified his desire for personal revenge. Undoubtedly, he would have been kind to Alexander if given the opportunity. Undoubtedly, he would have forgiven Alexander if he had repented of his sin. But without repentance, true biblical forgiveness is impossible. And so, what comforts Paul in the face of Alexander’s obstinate sin? Here it is: Paul rests in the undeniable fact that God “will repay him according to his deeds.”

How do we reconcile this understanding of biblical forgiveness with Christ’s words in Luke 23:34? “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Note three details:

First, Christ has authority to forgive sins (Luke 5:20–24; 7:49), but He doesn’t forgive these men. Why doesn’t He offer them forgiveness at that very moment? Why doesn’t He turn to them, and say, “I offer you unconditional forgiveness for what you’re doing.”

Second, Christ does forgive one of the thieves on the cross: “Today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:43). Although the term isn’t used, forgiveness is clearly implied. Christ utters this declaration of forgiveness in response to the thief’s confession of sin. Interestingly, Christ doesn’t offer forgiveness to the other thief who ridicules Him. Why not?

Third, Christ asks His Father to forgive these men. I believe His request pertains to something that’s going to happen in the future. I believe the only conclusion we can make is that – at some point in their lives – these men repent of their sin, and God forgives them.

We see something similar in Acts 7:60. Stephen prays, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” Did Christ answer Stephen prayer? He did in at least one case – Saul/Paul.

I think it’s worth considering that the forgiveness of God is more than transactional but simply flows from the love of God. That was God on the cross forgiving His persecutors all the while, demonstrating His love for His creation, for us, in spite of our sin. Man’s right response is to love in return as he turns from the world and it’s empty values, from sin, and is moved to value this love of God, this God who is love, above all else.

His love is unconditional but we set the conditions; we can refuse to come to the cross and bow before it. Or I guess we can say that His only condition is that He we accept...His love. We can refuse to love, to forgive, to show mercy and compassion ourselves. He wants all to repent but His forgiveness is fruitless until we recognize our need for it and accept be changed by it.

 

[bling]

I do not agree with you, God does not require “repentance” of you to forgive you, but all you have to do is humbly accept His forgiveness (Love/charity) as pure undeserved charity. Look here:
Matt. 18: 21-35
God’s Definition of Forgiveness
When sincere Christians differ, it mostly has to do with differences in their assumptions including differences in the definitions of the same words their using.
“Forgiveness” is one of those words we have different definitions for that causes “doctrinal” differences between sincere Christians.
I feel Christ is giving us Deity’s definition for “forgiveness” in Matt. 18:21-35, “The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant”.
Most commentaries give us what the parable does not say and only the ending “Moral to the Story” (forgive others) without getting into the factual details and explain what appears to be God taking back His forgiving.

We need to figure out the “question” the parable is addressing and the context.
Just prior to the parable we have:
Matt. 18: 21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Peter asks a good question and seems generous by providing his take on the answer of “is it seven times”, since three times is the Old Testament was given.
Christ makes a huge change by saying 77 times (virtually saying: “always”), so it is important to try to put yourself in their shoes hearing this idea for the first time, do you think the disciples would be thinking: “How is this change going to impact my life”, this is normal people’s thinking with new information. So will they will go on to think “How can I keep from being taken advantage of by brothers and sisters?”
We know from all other previous encounters: Jesus knowing their thinking, so He will address in a parable their problem with His previous answer, by giving them the true definition for “forgiveness”.

First off: This debt is totally unbelievably huge, no one has that kind of money to lend, no one could get into anywhere near this kind of “debt”, and there was no way to make that kind of payment. It is actually hard to believe one person could even spend this much money in a life time in the first century.
Matt 18:25 “Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered…” Here we know the Master knew there is no way to pay this debt and this servant entrusted with such a huge responsibility would also realize he could never pay it back.
Matt 18: 26 “…‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’” This servant is not asking for unconditional forgiveness, but “more time”, with the promise of paying it back in full, but the Master is not an idiot, the Master just previously said there is no way to pay this debt, and since this servant has been entrusted with and spent already 10,000 talents, he knows he cannot earn that amount. The servant is lying to the Master and maybe lying to himself.
When the Master: canceled (forgave) the debt and let him go, what did the servant “hear” (think) and possibly believe: “Oh the Master accepted my offer”, “I got time”, “I did OK”, “The Master does not care about the money”, or “the master must really like me”?
Luke 7: 36-50. Christ teaches us this truism: “He that is forgiven much Loves much” so Godly type Love would come automatically if a person was forgiven of an unbelievable huge Debt meaning he will automatically receiving an unbelievable huge Love (Godly type Love), so how is it possible for this “forgiven” servant to not Love one of the Master’s servants and treat him graciously?
Matt. 18: 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. There is no other debt mentioned, so this debt has to be referring to the debt the Master forgave, but if the debt is unconditionally forgiven how can the Master talk about the servant needing to pay it back in full, since it is a forgiven debt?
If we take all these Biblical truisms and allow them to define “Forgiveness” instead of taking our definition of forgiveness and force us to make an acceptation for God (Allow God to mislead us (lie)) Deity’s definition will resolve these apparent Biblical contradictions.
There is more to our having God’s forgiveness, than God just unconditional forgiving us, but this “more” will not mean God’s forgiving is conditional.
The “conditional” part for the potential receiver of forgiveness is found in completing the definition of forgiveness and not in the part the forgiver plays (God).
In order to complete the definition of Biblical forgiveness the person being forgiven has to humble accept that forgiveness as pure, undeserved charity.
The unmerciful servant did not humbly accept the Master’s unconditional forgiving as pure undeserved charity, so the transaction of forgiveness was not completed. We know this because he did not Love much and he still owes the money.
Again, it is not the Master taking His unconditional forgiveness back, but forgiveness itself, by definition did not happen.
How does this explanation address the question: “How can I keep from being taken advantage of by brothers and sisters?”
Are we responsible for following up on those we have forgiven to see if forgiveness took place?
Look back at the Prodigal son:
When did the Father, first forgive His young son?
When did the Father, let the son know he was being unconditionally forgiven?
When did the young son humbly accept the Father’s unconditional forgiveness as pure undeserved charity?
When was the son just willing to humbly accept the Father’s unbelievable, undeserved, unconditional charity?
Are we all already forgiven by God, yet some are still not accepting that charitable gift as pure undeserved charity?
As forgivers our responsibility does not begin and end with our forgiving our debtors, the parable shows there is more to it, we need to make sure the person being forgiven understands forgiveness and accepts the forgiveness as pure undeserved charity, so they can Love all the more.

 

[Jonaitis]

I see forgiveness as much for the forgiver as the forgiven.

I hate having that on my heart and in my mind and memory. I am just glad to get rid of it.
Detach the emotion from the memory of the event. File the memory away in your memory history book. You may remember the event, but when you disconnect the emotion from it, it no longer hurts you. It is like reading a book about someone else. Another time, another person.

Should we depend on the feeling of forgiveness to have a clear conscience?

 

[Jonaitis]

Both Stephen and Christ pray that God will forgive those who are abusing them long before the abusers ask for forgiveness - and in fact most of those abusers probably never asked for forgiveness. Stephen did not hang around long enough to find out if even one of his abusers would ever come to him and ask for forgiveness or repent.

What is more - we are not God ... so
1. We have no clue at all as to whether the person is truly repentant. God knows - we don't
2. The text does not say "forgive them so long as you can divine if they are truly repentant"
3. The text says "forgive them 70 x 7 for the same thing they did wrong to you" in Matt 18...so that is a "lot of waiting to see if they are truly repentant".
4. Since we are not God we also have no "lake of fire" to send someone to if they fail to ask us to forgive them. So there is no consequence to them when we don't forgive - the only "consequence" is to us according to Christ in Matt 18.. it is the consequence of having our own forgiveness revoked.
5. We also do not have the option with others - should they ask forgiveness of us - and get it -- we cannot then "revoke that forgiveness" as God does in Matt 18 -- if they fail to forgive others.
That is exactly right!

What does forgiveness mean to you?

 

[Jonaitis]

Our Lord, Jesus Christ, told some parables about forgiveness that imply that an individual ought to forgive others in order to receive forgiveness from God. For example,

Matthew 18:21-35 Then came Peter unto him and said: Lord, how often shall my brother offend against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 22 Jesus saith to him: I say not to thee, till seven times; but till seventy times seven times. 23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened to a king, who would take an account of his servants. 24 And when he had begun to take the account, one as brought to him, that owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And as he had not wherewith to pay it, his lord commanded that he should be sold, and his wife and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 But that servant falling down, besought him, saying: Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 27 And the lord of that servant being moved with pity, let him go and forgave him the debt. 28 But when that servant was gone out, he found one of his fellow-servants that owed him an hundred pence: and laying hold of him, he throttled him, saying: Pay what thou owest. 29 And his fellow-servant falling down, besought him, saying: Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he paid the debt. 31 Now his fellow servants seeing what was done, were very much grieved, and they came, and told their lord all that was done. 32 Then his lord called him: and said to him: Thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all the debt, because thou besoughtest me: 33 Shouldst not thou then have had compassion also on thy fellow servant, even as I had compassion on thee? 34 And his lord being angry, delivered him to the torturers until he paid all the debt. 35 So also shall my heavenly Father do to you, if you forgive not every one his brother from your hearts.​

And the Lord's prayer includes the petition

forgive us our trespasses as we forgive the trespasses of others.​

So, the scriptures really do give good reasons to regard forgiving others as a part of living a life of saving faith.

It seems that in the parable you quoted shows both instances where the men asked for forgiveness, the servant to his master and the servant to his fellow servant. It seems to be more in line to read that the first servant failed, because, just as he asked for forgiveness and received it, he didn't show the same curtesy to his fellow servant who asked.

 

[Clare73]

An
article
by Stephen Yuille on January 25, 2020
"Do I need to forgive someone who's harmed me but never asked for forgiveness?"
​

A concept known as “therapeutic forgiveness” came into vogue in the 1980s. Simply put, it defines forgiveness as ceasing to feel anger or resentment toward a person who has wronged you. In so doing, it turns forgiveness into an emotion. This definition is now accepted orthodoxy within the church. But this concept of forgiveness is actually foreign to Scripture. Biblical forgiveness isn’t an emotion, but a transaction. How does God forgive? There are two essential ingredients: justice and repentance. God forgives those who repent on the basis of His satisfied justice in Christ’s substitutionary sacrifice. As a result, they’re reconciled and restored to Him.

But there’s no restoration without forgiveness, and there’s no forgiveness without repentance. All that to say: God’s forgiveness is conditional, not unconditional.

Salvation (from God's wrath, Romans 5:9) = forgiveness (accounting term: "cancellation of debt")
= remittance of sin--all based on faith (Ephesians 2:8-9).

It is the nature of faith to repent (to turn, mighty change of mind and heart).
And repentance is about changing your mind, not about feeling bad, which is contrition.

God calls us to forgive others as He has forgiven us.

1) And how has he forgiven us?
Freely, nothing required from us, for someone else has paid our sin debt for us so that God can justly cancel (forgive) it.

God didn't require that I ask for forgiveness to be born again.
I was born again by decision of a sovereign God (John 3:8), I believed,
my sin was paid for, and God forgave my sins (sin debt cancelled), which is salvation, without my asking.

2) Jesus told us to pray that God will forgive us as we forgive others.

In other words, the same essential ingredients must be present when we forgive. How do we react to those who wrong us and victimize us? How do we counsel those who are victims of crime, abandonment, slander, betrayal, or abuse? We remain focused on the cross.
The cross enables us to escape the prison of the past. How? Christ now shapes our identity. We no longer define ourselves by how others have mistreated us. We define ourselves by what God says about us in Christ.

The cross moves us to squash hatred and bitterness. It enables us to mortify the desire for personal revenge. We don’t repay evil for evil (Rom. 12:17). The cross engenders meekness, enabling us to seek the good of others.

The cross compels us to offer conditional forgiveness. When we contemplate the cross, we’re overwhelmed by God’s love for us, and we’re compelled to extend compassion to others – even those who’ve hated and abused us. “Forgive one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:32). How does God forgive us? Where there’s repentance, there’s forgiveness. Where there’s forgiveness, there’s restoration. That’s a transaction. We offer this same conditional forgiveness to those who’ve wronged us. If they repent, we forgive them. And what if they refuse to repent? That brings us to the next point.

The cross strengthens us to wait for the Avenger. “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord’” (Rom. 12:19). Although it might seem that those who abuse and misuse others are escaping the consequences of their actions, Paul assures us that God is a glorious Avenger.

In the case of those who refuse to repent, there’s no forgiveness – only the certain expectation of judgment.

Judgment that condemns for offending me, or for unbelief in Jesus Christ?

Interestingly, this was Paul’s outlook. On one occasion, he writes, “Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds” (2 Tim. 4:14).

Paul is not saying he did not forgive him.
Paul is saying vengeance is not his, but God's.

How did Alexander harm Paul? We don’t know the details, but we do know it involved “great harm.” Take note: Paul doesn’t offer Alexander unconditional forgiveness.

Paul doesn't discuss forgiveness, that is an assumption on your part.

Undoubtedly, Paul mortified his desire for personal revenge. Undoubtedly, he would have been kind to Alexander if given the opportunity. Undoubtedly, he would have forgiven Alexander if he had repented of his sin. But without repentance, true biblical forgiveness is impossible. And so, what comforts Paul in the face of Alexander’s obstinate sin? Here it is: Paul rests in the undeniable fact that God “will repay him according to his deeds.”

How do we reconcile this understanding of biblical forgiveness with Christ’s words in Luke 23:34? “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Sounds like Jesus forgave them without their asking.

Note three details:

First, Christ has authority to forgive sins (Luke 5:20–24; 7:49), but He doesn’t forgive these men. Why doesn’t He offer them forgiveness at that very moment?
Why doesn’t He turn to them, and say, “I offer you unconditional forgiveness for what you’re doing.”

Taking the life of the innocent is an offense against God, and he is the one who must forgive them.

Second, Christ does forgive one of the thieves on the cross: “Today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:43). Although the term isn’t used, forgiveness is clearly implied. Christ utters this declaration of forgiveness in response to the thief’s confession of sin. Interestingly, Christ doesn’t offer forgiveness to the other thief who ridicules Him. Why not?

Because the other man did not believe in him, as the thief did.
Forgiveness of sin (salvation) comes through faith only (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Third, Christ asks His Father to forgive these men.

Sounds like Jesus forgave them without their asking.

I believe His request pertains to something that’s going to happen in the future. I believe
the only conclusion we can make is that – at some point in their lives – these men repent of their sin, and God forgives them.

Or taking the life of the innocent is an offense against God, who is the one who must forgive them.

We see something similar in Acts 7:60. Stephen prays, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” Did Christ answer Stephen prayer? He did in at least one case – Saul/Paul.

Sounds like Stephen forgave them without their asking.

 

[bling]

It seems that in the parable you quoted shows both instances where the men asked for forgiveness, the servant to his master and the servant to his fellow servant. It seems to be more in line to read that the first servant failed, because, just as he asked for forgiveness and received it, he didn't show the same curtesy to his fellow servant who asked.

If you read my post 10 you might generate questions.

 

[friend of]

If you can't bring yourself to forgive someone who is indifferent toward your suffering, are you truly ready to forgive them at all?

 

[BobRyan]

It seems that in the parable you quoted shows both instances where the men asked for forgiveness, the servant to his master and the servant to his fellow servant. It seems to be more in line to read that the first servant failed, because, just as he asked for forgiveness and received it, he didn't show the same courtesy to his fellow servant who asked.

True - but that same book tells us that Christ prayed for the forgiveness of others before they even asked as did Stephen.

 

[BobRyan]

If you can't bring yourself to forgive someone who is indifferent toward your suffering, are you truly ready to forgive them at all?

And the second question is "just who are you to be able to offer anyone forgiveness?" - since none of us are God.

The only "forgiveness" we offer is the one where our own minds are released from the bondage of anger, bitterness,hate, resentment against someone else. Our own unchristlike anger towards others will never doom them to the lake of fire - it will only doom ourselves.

 

[Tolworth John]

God does not require “repentance” of you to forgive you, but all you have to do is humbly accept His forgiveness (Love/charity) as pure undeserved charity.

Through out the bible we see sinners turning to God in repentance and being forgiven.
whether it is an individual or Israel the requirement is the same, repentance before God forgives.

hould we depend on the feeling of forgiveness to have a clear conscience?

Never depend only on ' feelings ', but confirm any feeling with rational thought and the application of biblical principals.

Neither Jesus or Stephen forgave their killers, but they prayed that God would forgive them.
As Luke 17:3 says we are to forgive those who repent.
What do we do with an unrepentant offender. Loke Jesus and Stephen we hand the situation, the offender(s) and our feelings over to God for him to deal with them and us.
We then start praying regularly and intelligently for the good of the offender(s).

 

[bling]

Through out the bible we see sinners turning to God in repentance and being forgiven.
whether it is an individual or Israel the requirement is the same, repentance before God forgives.

This brings up the question of what constituted "repentance" and is it a condition for forgiveness and thus what is forgiveness?
This brings us to:
Matt. 18: 21-35

Peter asked a question and Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but 77 times (or 7x70).

I would say: “Jesus answered Peter’s question, perfectly, a strait forward answer, but Jesus’ answer would produce follow-up questions immediately, but the apostles are slow to ask Jesus what is on their hearts which we find throughout scripture. The parable is the follow-up answer to this question Peter (and the other disciples) would have on his/their heart(s).

I would suggest: when Jesus says 7 times 70 or 77 they are thinking: “WOW!! How Can we keep from being taken advantage of by our brothers if we are just going to keep forgiving them every time?” (People always think about how it will impact themselves.)

Jesus then needs to address this bigger question with His parable.

Here are some questions I have asked in the past:

The Master (God as seen in verse 35) is the way the apostles and all Christians are to behave.

The (wicked) servant I think would be referring to all mature adults, but am open to other alternatives? (This example, is it referring to all other humans or just other Christian brothers?)

Here is what we might want to further discuss on Matt. 18:

The Master (God) would have to be doing all His part completely perfectly and all He can do in unconditionally forgive the servant, but does the servant accept being forgiven as pure charity (undeserving/unconditional)?

The servant is asked: “Give me time” and “I’ll pay everything back.” Now this unbelievably huge debt is way beyond any possibility of being paid back and the Master states this and the servant would know this, but what would the Master be tell the world about this servant if he gave him more time? Could the servant take pride in telling others: “The Master gave me more time to pay the whole debt back”?

In management 101 they tell us not to give the person a raise at the same time you give them a performance review, why? They come in wanting to hear what raise they got, and that is all they will hear and remember.

This parable might be a classic example of the person hearing what they wanted to hear. The servant came to the master wanting to hear, “I will give you more time to pay all the debt” while he did not expect to hear, “Your debt has been totally forgiven”, so what did he hear?

If the servant truly accept unconditional forgiveness of this unbelievable huge debt, would he not automatically have an unbelievable huge Love (really Godly type Love), (Luke 7: 40-50) and would that Love have been seen in Loving the Master’s other servants, which it is not being seen?

If a “unconditional forgiveness transaction” had taken place/been completed how could the Master (God) say and do: “Shouldn’t you have had mercy on the other servant just as I had mercy on you?” 34 In anger his master turned him over to the jailers. He would be punished until he paid back everything he owed.”?

God being Love would be the perfect forgiver, forgiving everyone of all their wrongs all the time, so how could anyone go to hell?

I do not “loan” my employee money any more, but I am happy to let them decide how much their need compares to the need of Christians in Ukraine, because the money will go to them or Ukraine as pure charity. Some did have big needs, which I was glad to help with, but I have reduced the total money, I loaned out and lost to people, who took loans before quitting or being fired.





Is there any other debt the servant owes, since Jesus tells us this is what he owed, that the Master “tried” to forgive?

Does the servant still owe the master, because the servant did not accept the unconditional forgiveness as pure charity and thus automatically Love much?

In the parable, which scenario would give the wicked servant more “glory” accepting or rejecting God’s charity or does it even matter, since all the glory in the story goes to the Master no matter what the wicked servant does?

Can the wicked servant take pride (a false pride) in the fact that, in his mind, he did not “accept” charity but talked the Master into giving him more time?

Christ’s parables address one area of how things work in the Kingdom, but may leave other areas unaddressed (it is only a short story), so we need to be cautious.

Lots of times you need to put yourself into the audience Jesus is addressing and try to be thinking: what they would be thinking about at the time, because Jesus addresses what is on the heart of the individual person(s) and not what has been verbalized (there are a dozen examples of this).

Jesus gives us one requirement, we often leave out, and that is going to the person we tried to forgive when he did not accept the forgiveness as charity, and explain what he did wrong and why he still owes us. We may stop with just not loaning them our car again.

These moments are teaching moments.

God turning something over to you to become your possession saying “here it is it is yours now” that is a promise He is making. You can do with it as you please (sell it, give it away) but since God made the commitment (promise) He cannot just take it back.

God forgives unconditionally, but we do have to accept it as unconditional, undeserved, unselfish pure charity to complete the transaction.



I did not really look at the details of the servant throwing the other servant in prison. There are always limits to parables, but look at the subtle differences between what the servants did and what the master did. The wicked servant only put the fellow servant in prison (no mention of torture this could be like Paul’s imprisonment) while the master had the wicked servant turned over to a person (being) for continuous torture?

Can we start with what we do agree with in this parable, just let me know yes or no:

1. The master is representing God in the Spiritual Kingdom?

2. The “turned him over to the jailers. He would be punished until he paid back everything he owed.” Represents Hell in the spiritual meaning?

3. The millions and millions of dollars represents spiritually the huge debt sin creates?

4. The wicked servant is a sinner?

5. The Master’s forgiveness of the servant’s debt is the same as God’s part in forgiving a sinner’s sins?

6. The servant’s debt was not forgiven, since in the end the master says, he is imprisoned for the debt?

7. The servant is lying when he says “I will pay everything back” since it is totally not possible?

8. The servant was asking for time and not forgiveness and gives no indication He accepted the forgiveness as charity?

If we agree with this we are 90% in agreement. The only question is: “Since the wicked servant still owes the master the huge debt after the master did his part of forgiving the wicked servant, what else must happen for the transaction of forgiveness to be fully completed?